A Marriage Made in Heaven : A Love Story in Letters

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Summary: Mismatch made in America
Review: Every so often a book comes along that really is different, actually makes movement transpire in the mind and heart, and does what books are supposed to do to us. Marriage Made in Heaven is such a book. Composed primarily of actual letters exchanged by the American publisher with his Indian bride-to-be, there is an emotional rythmn that flows through this whole book which can only be called spectacular.

I had intended to read a few pages, but actually read the whole book cover to cover in one sitting. My wife picked up the book an hour later, and did the same thing.

As one who has lived both in India and the United States, I was very eager to see if the horrible cliches that pass for representations of Indian culture would be overcome. Indeed they were. Marriage Made in Heaven is utterly saturated with vibrancy, wit, humor and genuine love. That these two people would allow anyone, let alone the entire reading public of several nations, into their most intimate states of mind, their deepest emotional sharing, is an act of considerable courage. Moreover, the excruciating sharing of hopes, goals, values and dreams that these two engage in over the course of more than a year, explodes the myth and lie about "traditional marriages." Nobody can accuse either party here of being "manipulated" or forced into this marriage. Yet, their sharing of their lives gives the ancient marriage paradigm very strong proof of its idealized purpose.

There isn't an American female who isn't going to connect with this book in a very big way. If you're looking for love, a true love story, this is the real thing. For men, it is a glimpse into the innermost feelings of a woman who is both warmly traditional (the way men really want a woman to be) but enlightened in her world view.

From Vatsala's first reply to the classified ad, to her wrenching feelings as she is driven up the desolate, winding road to her new home in Vermont, away from hger family for the first time in her life, it really is almost impossible to stop reading this book. Simply put, Marriage Made in Heaven is the love story of the decade. They show us what it means to be Man and Woman, to be true human beings.

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Summary: a real book for teens
Review: I am inches away from graduating out of highschool.While scanning the bookstore for college admission manuals, I chanced upon A Marriage Made in Heaven : A Love Story in Letters" and could but stop and stare at the cover photo. I felt compelled to find out what these authors had to say.

As I read this book from cover to cover in one sitting, I concluded that for teenagers like myself who are standing at the doorway to their future, this book is an eyeopener. Teens today are facing unique problems of social alienation, drug and alcohol abuse, broken families and transient sexual relationships that give a moment of fun, may be,and many possible threats to one,s emotional and physical wellbeing. However in these experimental years, the teens also have to face the questions about what they want to make out of their lives.

This book shows that if the teens want a solid, happy life for themselves, it is possible.I strongly recommend this book to all the teenagers before they go out on their first date with a person of same or opposite gender. The list of dos and donts mentioned in this book will help young people find a truthful and honest relationship, irrespective of their sexual orientation.

Also, this book is informative, attractive and a fun to read. The authors letters to each other, before they met or thought about marriage, opens wide windows into a man and a woman's mind. These authors have proven that human race is truly one, the differences are there to basically highlight the goodness in each one of us.

Come on guys and gals, get this book, read and think about what it says and start your love life today on a positive note.

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Summary: Read between the lines...(back to pre-feminist dark ages)
Review: I just finished reading this book (like some other reviewers, I also couldn't put it down and stayed up til 2AM to finish), but I am more troubled by it.

Firstly, it is hardly a exchange of letters between two people because the vast majority of letters were written by B. R. Vatsala (note: it is never explained in the book what B.R. stands for). It is truly her story and she is an extraordinary woman -- it is a real pleasure to meet this thoughtful, charming, sensitive individual whom anyone would treasure as a friend. However, the same cannot be said about her domineering and bombastic fiance, Ehud Sperling (who likes to be called "Boss" or "Captain"). It isn't even certain he has written all of his own letters, as he has a loyal female employee who reads and monitors his correspondence with Vatsala (some of which is quite intimate)!

I hope SOME other readers are troubled by the idea of a rich, white American who peruses the world's available females and picks which country's supply of ladies he will dip into. India is choosen because of it is a backwater of so-called traditional values (i.e., men rule). Mr. Sperling (whose first wife wisely beat feet to get away from his snot-nosed bullying) decides a few months after his divorce that instead of a demanding independent American wife, he wants a subservient foreign bride from a poor 3rd world country. He has the undeserved good fortune to link up with Ms. Vatsala, and I feel richly sorry for this utterly wonderful lady. I can only hope after she gets fed up with his big shot, "alpha dog" mentality she can make a good life for herself in the US.

It is a sad comment on contemporary India that truly beautiful women like Vatsala, finding themselves over 30 and not so desirable in the marriage market, are forced to look in the paper for the equivalent of our "personal ads", only here it is not for just a coffee date but a marriage arranged without any meeting or time to truly get to know another person. I can not blame Vatsala, who despite her Ph.D. in Microbiology, is a very trusting and naive girl with a deep romantic streak nutured on Hindu love stories, for falling for the sophisticated prattle dished-out by the manipulative Ehud. How many of us could face the offer of marriage, an escape from spinsterism, a ticket to the highly desirable US, and wealth (everything from a paid-for wedding with Maharaji's emeralds to a trust fund that will let Vatsala make charitable donations to any cause she wants)? This would turn the head of many an American woman from a much more sophisticated background. Clearly Ehud is used to getting exactly what he wants as a millionaire publishing magnate, and a subservient foreign bride seems to be what he wants.

For those who find this story "romantic", I caution that the idea that a man gets to have sexual adventures, live-in relationships, world travels and then settles down at age 40-something with an innocent & inexperienced virgin is a very old one, and one that has been wisely rejected by most modern women throughout the world who want to live their own lives and not just be a shadow of someone else's.

The story ends on an oddly grim note as the couple arrive "home" at Ehud's isolated Vermont home in the dead of winter, where his poor bride is left at home all day (God forbid a microbiologist with a Ph.D. WORK) with only the company of a huge unneutered german shepherd dog who terrifies her and far, far from the warmth & companionship of her large Indian family. The only glimmer that things may turn out well is a tiny photo on the back inside dusk jacket of Vatsala holding what appears to be a baby son. The other photos of this lovely Indian woman, huddled in heavy winter gear and clearly miserable in the cold, are too depressing to contemplate.

Dear Vatsala: Please smarten up here in American. Read lots of books! Watch films and even TV. Most of all, please make friends with some nice normal American women, and see how NORMAL couples live together here -- without philisophical mumbo-jumbo or "BOSS men" to order them around. You deserve a lot better and I hope you find it.

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Summary: A Guide for Women Wanting to Wed
Review: I think this book not only defies cross cultural barriers it challenges the "modern woman" to reexamine her values and priorities when it comes to getting married. The book gives a beautiful portrayal of a relationship that develops based on a connection of values, spirtuality, and intellect that takes the reader through a process on to itself of reevaluating one needs in a relationship.

I would recommend this to anyone who is thinking about getting married (in a relationship or not), or who is married. It is also beautifully written, with lovely photos and paintings that takes you to the heart of India.

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Summary: Charming love story
Review: My son recently married a beatiful woman of Indian ancestry who thrives on her large family in Orange County, CA. When I heard the PBS radio interview with Ehud Sperling, I was curious about what he found attractive in a woman from India. The book is really her book. She reveals herself as charming and definitely ready to leave her career in micro-biology in the crowded South India city of Madras for a new adventure and opportunity to be a full time wife and mother. Although he comes across as resourceful and generous (and obviously fedup with USA women as wives), her values, insights, and faith in God are what give the book its radiance. This book affirmed the wisdom of my son's choice!

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Summary: Read to know some stories Indians write
Review: One of the author's (Vatsala) letter says that she prays for the children of the hospital during her breaks. How noble. Read stories like this that Indians write to impress "pherengis" (foriegners).

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Summary: A MAD(E)FOR EACH OTHER REAL LIFE FABLE
Review: Touching story of two souls seeking for life long partnership! The authors have come forward to share some of their inner & intimate thoughts in their step by step quest for each other, through poignant letters. A very moving episode ending in bliss & hormony, bringing out tears of compassion & goodwill for the couple. A must " reading " for all those lonely hearts in search of eternal soul mates.

KG