Caligula: Divine Carnage

Rating:
Summary: Absolute Buggery
Review: As a amateur historian specializing in ancient cultures such as the Romans, I found this book to be nothing but pure fiction. While the authors do make it seem as though these events could be true, a little common sense tells the intelligent reader that they are not. What I found even more incredulous was that the authors give absolutely no sources for their information. On the other hand, this piece does work as a pornographic salute to the Romans. Hilarious but not true at all would best describe this book. If you are a fan of murder, sodomy, beastiality, and lurid female conduct then buy this book. If you are more interested in the facts of the ancient Romans, then avoid it like a Lybian lion going for the anus of a young slave.

Rating:
Summary: Absolute Buggery
Review: As a amateur historian specializing in ancient cultures such as the Romans, I found this book to be nothing but pure fiction. While the authors do make it seem as though these events could be true, a little common sense tells the intelligent reader that they are not. What I found even more incredulous was that the authors give absolutely no sources for their information. On the other hand, this piece does work as a pornographic salute to the Romans. Hilarious but not true at all would best describe this book. If you are a fan of murder, sodomy, beastiality, and lurid female conduct then buy this book. If you are more interested in the facts of the ancient Romans, then avoid it like a Lybian lion going for the anus of a young slave.

Rating:
Summary: National Lampoon meets De Sade
Review: As a pornographic satire of modern perceptions of Caligula, this book works rather well. However, I'm rather worried that my local branch of Waterstones put the thing into the Classical history section, since the 'history' in this book is wonderfully, ludicrously, and, I suspect, willfully wrong. I say 'willfully' since many of the factual errors could have been corrected by five minutes with a good textbook. Instead the authors have used the already lurid writing of writers such as Suetonius as the basis for anecdotes which bear the same relationship to reality as, say, a history of the Gallic wars written with Asterix as a primary source. The book is either a kind of sophisticated insult to readers of popular history or a masturbatory fantasy in prose. Much of the content seems to have come straight from the authors' imaginations untainted by connection with the historical sources. The writers may have a promising future in violent erotica if their current efforts as historians prove unrewarding, so if that's what turns you on, try this book. If you are genuinely looking for information about the reign of Gaius Caligula then (to paraphrase Dorothy Parker) you should not lightly toss this book aside. You should throw it with great force.

Rating:
Summary: Entertaining, but lurid and inaccurate
Review: Caligula: Divine Carnage capitalizes on our enduring fascination with the excesses and perversities of the "bad" Roman emperors. The Foreword promises that this book "eschews the mind-numbing minutiae of politico-military history and instead brings the glorious, often shocking decadence of Ancient Rome to bloody, pulsating life." Indeed, drawing from the usual contemporary sources and biographies as well as from "newly-excavated documents," authors Stephan Barber and Jeremy Reed attempt to reconstruct the lives of a few of the more notorious Caesars in a graphic and direct manner.

The fundamental problem with Caligula: Divine Carnage is that it doesn't seem to fit into any useful literary category. The book never makes its intentions clear; it is neither pure history nor straight entertainment, and as such, it is difficult to identify an audience that it will fully satisfy.

As history, it certainly presents some interesting facts, but since it lacks footnotes or even a bibliography, it is impossible to follow up on most of its novel claims or even to verify whether they are true. The book definitely poses as a work of non-fiction, but some of the claims are so outrageous, that even to readers who are not especially well versed in Roman history might seem suspect. If any of the "facts" are indeed unfounded, then this book does the supreme disservice of misleading naive readers in the guise of a credible history. At the very least, the authors should explain themselves when they venture far from the consensus of the standard sources.

As entertainment, the book is actually quite successful. Barber's vivid treatment of Caligula and the arena would make enthralling fiction and the thought that it is true makes it all the more fascinating. With the possible exception of the final chapter, there is never a dull moment in the text. Some of the qualities that make the book fail as history are actually beneficial to its entertainment value. Dates and detailed historical background are included only when necessary to the context of the book's theme. It is definitely an easy read.

One aspect of the text that limits its appeal to either serious historians or casual readers is its excruciatingly colorful language. There are many examples, which I will not repeat here, of language that borders on offensive and which definitely disqualifies the text from being used in the classroom setting. Sensitive readers are advised to stay away. Especially problematic is the fact that the book is neither marketed nor jacketed in a way that indicates the rawness if its language. There are many readers who are interested in learning about the subject matter promised by the cover, but it is not until a few pages into the text that the reality of the portrayal is revealed. On a scale of offensiveness, I would place this publication near the un-edited Caligula of the Bob Guccione variety.

Another weakness of the book is the dramatic shift in tone that occurs in the last chapter. Jeremy Reed, who authors this single chapter, discards the abrasive language found in the rest of the book. Instead, he descends into indecipherable psychobabble in search of the true motivations for the young emperor Heliogabalus's ridiculous behavior. This chapter really would be best published elsewhere, for readers who appreciate it will probably not enjoy the others and vice versa.

In summary, I would most recommend this book only to casual enthusiasts of Roman history who have a healthy sense of skepticism and a strong stomach, and for whom Seutonius is too restrained. Even for these readers, there are doubtlessly more reputable sources to visit first, and doing so would probably be prudent. Caligula: Divine Carnage is an interesting and thoroughly entertaining work, but suffers some substantial weaknesses that limit its usefulness in most conventional categories.

Rating:
Summary: Caligula: Divine Garbage
Review: I almost think the authors intended this to be a joke but did not include a disclaimer. Whatever information they didn't get from the 1980's porno, they made up. The Roman people are always referred to as "plebian scum" and when Caligula chooses a human woman to begin his dynasty of incest, his horse is "inconsalable". The emperor's genitals are referred to as his "imperial weapon" and the senators have nothing to do other than choosing a color to paint their new meeting hall or getting "buggered" by Caligula. Even if this is a joke, however, it quickly loses any humor it may have since it begins repeating everything after the first page. (or even the introduction) All in all, save your money...

Rating:
Summary: interesting, but pornographic, repetitive, and false
Review: I'm all in favour of making history interesting, but it should be well written and accurate.

This book is pornographic. Coming from me, that's not only not always a perjorative, but in fact I'm about the last person to start criticizing sexual content. Unless, of course, it represents ill-concealed fetishism for the sake of shock value with no redeeming artistry or value. The authors seem to be fascintated with buggery, body fluids, and sadism, because that's all this is about. If this book were to be believed, the people of the Roman Empire really never did anything but find new and imaginative kinks and S/M activity to amuse themselves, with their emperors leading the charge. Read _Hustler_ instead--it has more literary value.

This book is repetitive. How many times must the common people be referred to as 'plebeian scum?' How many times is it necessary to describe blood (and/or other substances) fountaining forth in great gouts? If you read the first ten pages, you've got the picture. It's good that Amazon has them available, so you can do just that and decide not to waste money on the remainder.

This book is false. It purports to be history, but it has little substantiation, primarily because said support mostly does not exist. It's true that some emperors of Rome were sadistic perverts; no one doubts that. However, I've read most of the relevant ancient sources, and there simply is no documentation, none, to back up the vast majority of what is in here. Nor is it plausible, for the simple reason that had the Roman Empire really been like this, it would have been overrun by any roving band of bandits while deeply occupied in waste, frenetic omnisexuality, and intoxication. People will rarely just sit still to be murdered, and a great deal of this book is about murder. If the authors were going to write sensationalized creative fiction, they should have admitted that, and not tried to call this garbage 'history'. It is not.

In short, it's one of the worst books I've ever read from nearly every standpoint. Spare yourself. I wish I had.

Rating:
Summary: Exciting Read; historically FALSE
Review: This book I could not put down; it made for interesting reading. It "touched into" the minds of Caligula and Heliogabalus and Commodus; cruel they were. This book is more accurately best be decribed as "historical FICTION". The description of Roman Society and its peoples and culture(s) are so inaccurate that were it not for the manner in which the book was written I would have discarded this into a heap. Roman peoples and society were very conservative in their approach toward sexuality: homosexuality and pedophilia were crimes throughout society (with many exceptions, of course, just as modern history has examples of such). REMEMBER, much, if not most, descriptions of the era of "Pagan Rome" were written by Christians (i.e.- Eusebius, St. Jerome, Augustine, etc.) in a Conspiracy Like Manner to discredit Rome and paganism. (Maximus, the Roman general and gladiator in the movie "Gladiator", portrayed the common pagan in his/her prayers, hopes, dreams, than the pagans decribed by Christians from then and up to this modern "enlightened" day). There was a great Christian Effort to discredit the laws of man (Rome was a nation of laws, although abused by many emperors, but always in the end, all were subject to the laws, emperors, "caesars", the "first citizen"); to discredit the nation(s) of laws was in the effort to subject the peoples to the Laws of God: intepreted only by the few (ie- Pope, bishops, etc) and decided only by the few. Furthermore, about this book, historical (as well as medical) inaccuracies ABOUND. I.E. - The "arena" did not seat 100,000 people, crammed or not, though the authors mention that number; as well as the audience of "300,000" for the Circus Maximus (Chariot Racing), which was not the case. If anyone has researched or read the many, many credible, well written, well researched, historical notes/books/literature, etc., then you will note that "gladitorial combat" had a continual religious basis in the belief of challenging death and rebirth (in simple layman's terms). Historical evidence is pointing in the direction that many, if not most, gladiators survived multiple defeats in the arena; and that many lived to retirement (reference: "Emperors and Gladiators" by). Remember, December 25 was the Winter Soltice Day Celebration in the Roman Empire, where gift giving and giving thanks was the means of celebration. January 6 that was the Christian celebration day for the birth of Christ. It was Emperor Constantius II, circa 365 A.D., who moved the Day of Celebration for Christ's birth to December 25; banning the celebration of Winter Solstice. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Rating:
Summary: like an car wreck: sick, wrong, and you can't help but look
Review: THIS BOOK IS HILARIOUS!!!

Especially if you know anything about the subject, because it is so tragically inacurate. This is thinly disguised pornography written by two so-called scholars whose only resources were an encyclopedia article and a copy of the Bob Guccione movie. This book is also Exhibit A in the case against ever allowing an Englishman anywhere near a word processor.

So much of this book is brazen baloney, but in a sick way that's part of the charm.

This book HAS to be a joke. Just check out the description of how to capture a lion on p. 78: "Armies of slaves were expended to capture those majestic beasts. They were impervious to tranquilizer arrows, and the only way to subdue them was for a particularly handsome slave to present his shapely, exposed {*posterior*} to the lion's mighty sexual apparatus; then, once the act of copulation (which invariably proved terminal for the unfortunate slave, due to unsustainable blood loss) reached its critical point and the lion was momentarily distracted, a gang of a hundred or more whooping slaves would wrestle the lion to the ground and throw a net over it."

Whew!

I'll be generous and say that 5% of this book is historically accurate. But sometimes the guys weren't even trying to be real. We are presented with page upon page describing Caligula at various Coluseum events, but unfortunately in their 5 minutes of research the authors missed the fact that Caligula died in 41 and the Coluseum wasn't built until 80!

To an extent, that is what is so purplexing about this: given the vast wealth of dirt and absurdity that are amply documented about Rome's nuttiest Emperor, it is a mystery why these two buffoons would chose to go into uncharted territory and brazenly make up lurid fiction. The only solution I can fathom is that this is a straight-faced joke.

If you know nothing about Caligula and actually want to learn, avoid this book like the plague and get a *real* book. But for a good laugh, check it out.

I have also discovered it is possible to make a drinking game out of it. Get a case of beer, and a copy of this book. Take a sip every time some historical "fact" is presented that is obviously wrong. Take a swig every time a sex act is referenced, and pound the rest of the can upon the use of the term "plebeian scum."

You'll be wasted before you finish a chapter.

Rating:
Summary: like an car wreck: sick, wrong, and you can't help but look
Review: THIS BOOK IS HILARIOUS!!!

Especially if you know anything about the subject, because it is so tragically inacurate. This is thinly disguised pornography written by two so-called scholars whose only resources were an encyclopedia article and a copy of the Bob Guccione movie. This book is also Exhibit A in the case against ever allowing an Englishman anywhere near a word processor.

So much of this book is brazen baloney, but in a sick way that's part of the charm.

This book HAS to be a joke. Just check out the description of how to capture a lion on p. 78: "Armies of slaves were expended to capture those majestic beasts. They were impervious to tranquilizer arrows, and the only way to subdue them was for a particularly handsome slave to present his shapely, exposed {*posterior*} to the lion's mighty sexual apparatus; then, once the act of copulation (which invariably proved terminal for the unfortunate slave, due to unsustainable blood loss) reached its critical point and the lion was momentarily distracted, a gang of a hundred or more whooping slaves would wrestle the lion to the ground and throw a net over it."

Whew!

I'll be generous and say that 5% of this book is historically accurate. But sometimes the guys weren't even trying to be real. We are presented with page upon page describing Caligula at various Coluseum events, but unfortunately in their 5 minutes of research the authors missed the fact that Caligula died in 41 and the Coluseum wasn't built until 80!

To an extent, that is what is so purplexing about this: given the vast wealth of dirt and absurdity that are amply documented about Rome's nuttiest Emperor, it is a mystery why these two buffoons would chose to go into uncharted territory and brazenly make up lurid fiction. The only solution I can fathom is that this is a straight-faced joke.

If you know nothing about Caligula and actually want to learn, avoid this book like the plague and get a *real* book. But for a good laugh, check it out.

I have also discovered it is possible to make a drinking game out of it. Get a case of beer, and a copy of this book. Take a sip every time some historical "fact" is presented that is obviously wrong. Take a swig every time a sex act is referenced, and pound the rest of the can upon the use of the term "plebeian scum."

You'll be wasted before you finish a chapter.

Rating:
Summary: Not your average Roman history book!
Review: While not exactly a scholarly book on history in the sense of having footnotes and a bibliography (a shame really, I would love to have seen some of the sources for this book!), this is certainly the most entertaining history book I have read in quite some time! I admit, I have been looking for a book for a long time that goes past the usual dry descriptions of the atrocities of the mad emperors. I cannot say I was disappointed. While not a book for the squeamish or the easily offended, I was hooked from the first pages. I do find the facts believable, even if they are quite outrageous. The descriptions of sex and violence do make you wonder how these particular emperors (Caligula, Commodus, Heliogabalis) actually had any time to run the empire. The lurid descriptions of the orgies of Caligula are enough to make the hardiest person feel a little embarrased. The descriptions of the gladiatorial arena are interesting, even though I didn't realize quite so much of the games revolved around sexual activities of EVERYONE, including the emperor. The language throughout the book would certainly be described as, well, filthy, something I didn't expect to find in a history book. This is not a book that parents would want minors reading. The main flaw with that is the lack of warnings anywhere on the book that indicate such content. But in light of that, I don't honestly see too many teenagers running out to buy history books without being forced. That may be a bland generalization, but it hasn't been that long since I've been in high school to remember what it was like! Then again, if they had been teaching books like this one, I might have paid more attention! Very sensationalized, very entertaining. GRAPHIC descriptions of sex (incl. incest and homosexuality), death, and torture (the emperors had excellent imaginations). Probably the filthiest history book I have ever read, and not for lack of trying, believe me!