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Rating: 
Summary: Two Extraordinary Voyages In One!
Review: "Antarctica. And along with it a desire as commanding as any sexual compulsion that Antarctica was what I wanted, and therefore I had to have it." So writes Jenny Diski in her strange, humorous and often painful memoir cum travelogue to the bottom of the world. "The Arctic would have been easier, but I had no desire to head north. I wanted white and ice for as far as the eye could see and I wanted it in the one place in the world that was uninhabited."Ms. Diski weaves two voyages into one here - the longed for trip she made a few years ago to the white land of snow and ice and a parallel journey into her own heart, soul and past. Her descriptions of her fellow travelers, boredom, group activities and various ports of call are often quite witty and caustic. Her take on the natural world, elephant seals, variety of birds, penguins, and the barren landscape in different shades of white are vivid and, at times, haunting. Also explored in "Skating to Antarctica" is Ms. Diski's past - her suicidal and abusive parents, stays in psychiatric institutions, an almost lifelong estrangement from her mother and her own search of her "memory-hardened heart." The reader is saved from depression at these revelations through the author's extraordinary use of humor at her desire to bury her childhood memories under, literally, tons of snow. Diski's writing style is spare, clipped and very effective. Given some of the painful content it might sound ridiculous to write that I "enjoyed" the book - but I did. Her descriptive narrative of the trip to the world's southern-most continent are fascinating - not just another travel book, and her personal revelations are striking in their honesty.
JANA
Rating: 
Summary: well-written, heartfelt and self-involved
Review: "The one truly generous act of my mother's that I could really put my finger on: her leaving me alone," says Jenny Diski in her memoir, Skating to Antarctica (28). Diski reveals herself to the world by taking the reader on a journey through her troubled childhood with sexually abusive and suicidal parents, drug abuse and psychiatric institutions, her daughter's search for her mother and a trip to Antarctica. It is a well-written and heartfelt, although sometimes too self-involved, book about the search for peace of mind.
The book alternates between Jenny Diski's journey to Antarctica and her past. The balance creates a link between the two stories and allows the reader to understand her thoughts and actions better in both settings. The detailed and approachable way that she describes the setting and her own feelings really helps the reader become immersed in the book. Although a very serious work, it is lightened by Diski's dark humor. She takes her poor relationship with her mother very lightly. She is able to describe a possible meeting with her mother on the street as and encounter with, "a wild, screaming old woman coming down the street, probably with a kitchen knife in her hand, yelling at me," with ease (29). Perhaps this is her way of dealing with bigger problems, but it adds interest and much needed humor to the book.
This memoir is a much more heartfelt and close view of Jenny Diski than her personality is described to be. She continuously reveals her need for nothing and shows her fear of closeness. She says that she avoids waiting, puts things off till another day like Scarlett O'Hara and cherishes distant and superficial relationships like with the Roths (83). Anything that gets too close might hurt her and she stays away from it. However, when reading this book one does not feel any barrier. She is very honest and upfront when telling her story.
A prevalent theme throughout the book is the distinction between memory and truth, fiction and nonfiction. She says, "Memory is continually created, a story told and retold, using jigsaw pieces of experience. It's utterly unreliable in some ways, because who can say whether the feeling or emotion that seems to belong to the recollection actually belongs to it..." (154). She is also very wary of the truth, saying that it is subjective (100-1). Regarding fiction and nonfiction she says, "There are infinite ways of telling the truth, including fiction, and infinite ways of evading the truth, including nonfiction" (229). Diski not only doubts the `truth,' she says that often it doesn't matter. For her, with so many repressed memories, mixed reactions and disbelief, it is better to simply remember things the way she wants to. She portrays this very well in the book so that the reader understands her perspective.
The fact that this is a memoir allows her to share her own reactions and feelings. The memoir genre enables her to express a greater degree of closeness and personal relationship with her audience than other genres would. She is given liberty to give her own interpretations of her memories instead of feeling obligated to stick to the straight facts. I also find her book to be a necessary release from the tension and pressure that her life has created. One gets the impression that Diski wrote this book more for herself than anyone. At times this gets in the way of her writing.
Even though the book is very well written and heartfelt, and Diski's messages are conveyed well, sometimes it becomes repulsively self-involved. At times it is difficult for the reader to relate and not be turned-off by self-pity and her self-involved approach to life. An example of her whiney attitude is shown when she is deciding if she wants to set foot on Antarctica. She says, "The rush of pleasure at not doing what is expected of you, of not doing what you expect of yourself. If it was originally about disappointing other people, it has become refined into a matter of pleasing myself" (228). Such self-centeredness can create a distraction for the reader. Despite the fact that it is a memoir and a portal into Diski's personal experiences and thoughts, at times the things she says are better suited for a journal than a publication.
Skating to Antarctica is really about Jenny Diski's search for peace of mind. Does she find it? I think she does. Although she may not completely deal with all of her issues, she definitely comes to a point of peace with her past. She said, "Some things I'll never get away from, not even in the farthest reaches of the South Atlantic, but, with a bit of effort, I can recognize them as a passing wind blowing through me, chilling me to the bone, an act of nature that isn't personal, or not any more. The past can still make me shiver, but no bones are broken" (175). One criticism of the book that I find completely invalid is that it lacks closure. It is true that she does not reunite with her mother and make amends. That is not the kind of closure needed. In addition to the quote on p. 175, on p. 250 Diski expresses contentment in knowing about her mother. This is a true account of a person's life, and it does not end in a fairy tale way. It ends in a manner true to Jenny Diski and true to life.
Rating:
Summary: White Oblivion
Review: How long is too long to dwell on something painful? If it is a tragedy that has left your soul in shambles it may be hard to simply turn the memory away. In Jenny Diski's intensely personal tale, Skating to Antarctica, we read of the author's search into her broken past, and the journey she must travel to unveil the truth behind her tragic childhood. In this fascinating memoir Diski ventures to Antarctica to escape the realities that plague her heart. In an "all white, solitary and boundless" land Diski discovers that if she has the will, she can overcome her painful past and begin to experience the future (7). Skating to Antarctica is a brutally honest account of one women's exploration into a cold place; a land few choose to visit, a place too many ignore.
Published in 1997, Diski's memoir became a means of expression for her dispirited voice. Skating to Antarctica is the author's experience, a tale of her liking. "There are infinite ways of telling the truth, including fiction, and infinite ways of evading the truth, including non-fiction" (229). Diski reveals only what she wishes to reader, and we are therefore reminded that the book is an individual's report. Her story is unusual; however, her quest for truth in a world of uncertainty is common. Diski's bare writing exposes the significance of our childhoods and their effect upon our lives.
Facing "intolerable blankness" Diski addresses the period in her life where she endured the storms of depression, and touches upon a condition that is prevalent in our society today (190). Every person who picks up this book may not have been diagnosed with depression, but all have experienced feelings of utter loneliness at one time or another. Diski's vulnerability is revealed when she shares early on her desire to head north. She discloses a real helplessness in her opening paragraphs, and does not hold back or conceal these hopeless emotions. Instead, in her completely barren state, Diski shares her feelings and the reader begins to see how she pursues a controlled and simultaneously wavering lifestyle.
This memoir is far-reaching and impressive because it is truthful writing. Individuals who have fought depression or experienced broken childhoods will understand Diski's struggle to confront her past. By viewing this book as an honest report of one women's struggle to find answers, we can admire the author for her honest writing. "The choice on offer is the assumption that for thirty years I repressed curiosity about my mother's existence because thoughts of her were intolerable, or that, all unknown to me, I was contentedly, not to say harmoniously, living out a recognized phenomenon of the known physical universe" (24). It is with Diski's open tone that the depth of her pain is revealed, and the reader becomes involved.
One very impressive trait of Diski's style is her direct voice. Because the book examines intense and personal themes: painful memories, depression and guilt, hurt and longing, Diski is specific and concrete in confirming her ideas. "I've lived long enough to know it is a fact that most people find activity useful and conforming, but I am not one of those people; on the contrary, I find it alarming and alienating" (64). Diski's very clear and almost obvious style allows readers to peer into her soul, and search through the shattered pieces of the past, beside her.
Skating to Antarctica chronicles Diski's self-searching adventure. As a memoir, the book remains a means through which Diski discloses her thoughts, occasionally selfish or overly dramatic. Although Diski shows little appreciation for her parents, it is important to recall how deep her scars run. The few passages that describe Diski's self-pity are understandable and illustrate her transition into fully understanding her history. It seems only justified to allow Diski the opportunity to listen to her former neighbor, Mrs. Rosen, share memories of her as a child, and it is moving to read of Diski's self-discovery: "someone had been watching, it wasn't just me, myself and I waiting for it to end. I wasn't entirely a figment of my imagination, and up to that point, I could have been" (194). Diski's journey becomes a vulnerable account of the process of facing the truth about herself.
This book is a personal genre of non-fiction. Diski may travel to the end of the world, but if you are looking to learn about an individual's adventures in Antarctica-search elsewhere. The memoir shares not the explorer's experience at her destination, but instead the journey along the way. Skating to Antarctica was not written for the enjoyment of the reader. This book exists because it was Diski's method of breaking down the barriers of her past, and searching through the remains. Her story leaves you with questions, ideas only Diski herself can explain. For this very reason Skating to Antarctica captivated me.
Rating:
Summary: What a clever title
Review: I did like this book. It deals with a fairly harrowing subject - childhood abuse - both emotional and the hint of sexual. The latter is not dwelt upon, and this is in no way a "victimology" In Diski's journey inside herself, and her physical journey, there is much to admire. I found myself gasping a couple of times at her reactions and descriptions about herself. Whilst I can share her love of indolence, and can happily spend a week's holiday in bed reading (!) I just cannot imagine the 30 years of lack of curiosity about her mother's whereabouts! What a very (to me) peculiar family! But then, Diski has brought it so evocatively to the page. The scenes where she is finding out about her childhood from the three elderly women ('and the one remaining husband') who lived in her block of flats are fabulous - very witty. It takes a deft touch to write with such humour about events which were pretty monumental! The physical journey - the travelogue - is beautifully written too, and is one of the more interesting travel stories I have read. In the observations about her companions it reminds me of Paul Theroux at his best.
Rating:
Summary: Not your stereotypical memoir
Review: In the only 250 pages of Skating to Antarctica, Jenny Diski manages to captivate her audience with stunning anecdotes and descriptions that send the reader on a rollercoaster of emotions until the last page where it ends; plain and simple, just like it began. Behind the guise of memoir she repeatedly lectures to the reader on the value of truth and its many bastardized forms. When all is said and done, this narrative leaves you wanting more, yet glad to close the back cover.
Diski's autobiography sets and maintains its direction right from the start. Her dedication to her daughter naturally flows into the first sentence, "For Chloe without whom...I am not entirely content with the degree of whiteness in my life." From here Jenny springs into her love of everything white, which originated from her time spent institutionalized for mental disorders. In the end she travels to the greatest white canvas on Earth, Antarctica. Diski meshes stories from her past with those of the present in a frame story format that at times is confusing, but portrays and fully explains her actions throughout her troubled years.
Jenny Diski was the child of sexually abusive dysfunctional parents. Her father was a con-artist, her mother a self-serving, mentally ill woman. Jenny's future hung in limbo. Her parents split up multiple times and both attempted suicide at one point or another. Diski's eventual mental hospitalization stemmed from problems at home. This book attracts readers because often the reader can relate to Jenny's desire for a "normal" childhood. Skating to Antarctica brings a person inside the head of one who was subjected to constant sorrow and lack of stability as a child. Jenny's account informs whoever leafs through her memoir of the importance of providing a good home life for one's offspring. Her less than perfect childhood and distaste for her parents is ever-present when numerous times Diski repeats the phrase, "my father died in 1966 and I haven't seen or heard from my mother since that date" (20). I found myself on the rollercoaster feeling sorry for Jenny at these points, but soon climbed to a state of anger when she remains a static character throughout her memoir.
When I think of autobiographies/memoirs, I envision someone's completed life retold to many awaiting viewers. Jenny's "incomplete" account shocked me. I flipped pages in hope that her problems would vanish and she would become a "normal" human being, but was disappointed that when by page 250, Jenny still had emotional and psychological issues. My hopes for a so-called happy ending vanquished, leaving me frustrated and glad to set the book aside. However a disappointment this may be, in hindsight this technique left a lasting impact. This unresolved ending caused me to realize that some things do not and cannot vacate one's psyche, ever!
Within her sorrowful narrative Jenny masterfully weaves imagery at its finest. She can describe white to an extent that it becomes a color or an emotion as she does here in a relapse of depression: "White walls, staring into peopleless landscapes, heading for the snow and ice. Not to stay, but to be in it for a while. Death, of course, as Melville knows, is what it is. A toying with the void that finally toys with us. In the face of the waiting I can't escape, I head straight for its image and rest there for a while" (191). Reading this passage chills me with how well it portrays someone with a mental illness, wanting to visit Death for tea time. Jenny also throws a curveball with some vulgar language in her "accurate" description of seals, which she names the "flaccid [male genitalia] seal." That sure came out of left field. Jenny maintains a delicate, easy-reading prose but then throws in phrases that make the reader do a double-take and reread to see if she actually said that. Words like "[bird poop]" and the "[fudge]-it factor" just jump off the page, but without delay we're back to the flowing narrative leaving me puzzled over what just happened.
Truth and doubt appear be focal points in Jenny Diski's writing. However, I found her views on truth to be almost hypocritical. When each of her parents shares the truths about their spouse, Diski brings up the point that truth is relative to a situation; this I found striking, yet understandable. She also brings up the idea of relative truth in stereotypes. Someone no learned of a particular culture would easily believe a fact from someone they trusted not knowing that it is false. Hypocrisy comes into play when Diski instills doubt in the mind of the reader regarding the validity of her narrative, which I think is bad. She says that there are "infinite ways of evading truth, including non-fiction" (229), and quotes "Malone Dies": "I wonder if I am not talking yet again about myself. Shall I be incapable, to the end, of lying on any other subject?" The reader is led to ponder what is fact or fiction within Diski's autobiography. Maybe she did meet with her mother between 1966 and her death, but chose to leave that out to strengthen her argument of an intolerable childhood. Only Jenny knows.
Despite some unanswered questions about Jenny's insanity, failed marriage, and future, she successfully writes both to relieve her internal pain, and, in my opinion, to inform the reader on the importance of being attentive parents and the value of seeking help when needed. Jenny's experience should never be repeated. Her novel flows taking the reader in and out of intense subject matter in a way that makes it palatable while expressing true emotion. Though jerks exist between mental jumps, Jenny pulls the reader back into her dismal life and continues on. Skating to Antarctica is a thought-provoking memoir that intertwines humor, anger, and sadness with ideas of truth, death, and depression that ultimately leaves the reader in shock and reflection, a reaction typical of this subject matter. My prayer for Jenny to rise above her troubles and become "normal" went unanswered, leaving me grateful to put this book back on my shelf.
Rating:
Summary: White Oblivion
Review: Skating to Antarctica
by Jenny Diski
"I am not entirely content with the degree of whiteness in my life. My bedroom is white: white walls, icy mirrors, white sheets and pillowcases, white slatted blinds."(1)
Jenny Diski's book, Skating to Antarctica explores the meaning of whiteness in her life. Jenny clearly states her psychological need to have whiteness all around her, and it annoys her if that isn't so. This whiteness that she desperately wants represents her need to forget her past. Jenny says "White hospital sheets seemed to hold out the promise of what I really wanted: a place of safety, a white oblivion. Oblivion, strictly speaking was what I was after..." The meaning of oblivion, according to the Merriam Webster Collegiate Dictionary, means the fact or condition of forgetting or having forgotten. Throughout this book, Jenny searches for this white oblivion by traveling to Antarctica, but her past always seems to interrupt this search for pure whiteness.
Skating to Antarctica is a memoir about a woman who struggles with her sexually, physically, and verbally abusive parents. Jenny tells her story of her past, by weaving it together with her adventure to Antarctica. Eventually, the problems of her past resurface because of her daughter's inquisitive nature.
Through this idea of whiteness, Diski presents the novel in a clear precise, way. She paints the book in images of whiteness, and by doing so gives the reader an idea of the world that Jenny would like to live in, of pure whiteness. Diski sets the reader up to understand this need for whiteness, so her longing to travel to Antarctica does not come as a surprise because of the lack of colors that exist there.
Jenny's comments lead one to believe that a lot of objects that surround her in life remind her of her past. Diski allows the reader to see how color interrupts Jenny's world, and exactly to what extent it interrupts her world. Jenny said, "I wanted my white bedroom extended beyond reason. That was Antarctica, and only Antarctica." (Page five) Jenny's strength is giving her reader the sense of this desperate desire to get away from color, as if color was filling her brain and she needed to escape. By surrounding herself in all white she doesn't run the risk of running into any of those painful memories.
Diski describes the quantum theory of how one is able to put things into a box, and forget about what is in the box and not know if the things in the box exist or not. It is this very box that has interrupted the author's world of whiteness. Diski has creatively used the quantum theory in such a way that it reveals Jenny's state of mind.
On page fifty, Diski focuses on Jenny leaving to see a glacier. But what is interesting about this, is how Diski intricately places a "dead furry thing" (Page fifty) in her path. Diski demonstrates her creative skill of describing how the muscles of the animal are gone and how the legs are cocked at different angles. Jenny is unable to focus on the whiteness but on the problem set before her. One can see how Jenny is unable to get beyond her memories, and that they still interrupt her white oblivion.
After Jenny thinks of her mother, and the possible conclusion that she may be dead, she sees white in the sky. "..[A]nd all I could see was a shadowed white out there, unless I raised myself up and then I would see the inky sea and shadowed white." (Page eighty-three) Diski once again, subtly drives the meaning home about whiteness, that it is there, and that it just on the horizon, and she's about to reach that conclusion, that final peace of mind.
Diski's attention to details becomes a key element to this book. She allows readers to know more about the barriers that keep her from reaching oblivion, and how that affects her. On page 177, Diski repels the idea that her parents are caring and loving towards her by focusing on the behaviors and interactions of the penguins. She exudes the emotion that she wants this kind of relationship that the penguins have with each other. Another example of Diski's gift of attention is on page 221. She discusses how the ice burgs are blue and have many different levels making the parallel to her own life.
Diski's biggest weakness is not satisfying the reader's desire to see Jenny in Antarctica. The book has focused on her deep psychological desire to be there, and one is left wondering if she was able to get her whiteness and be engulfed in her oblivion. By stopping at this point, Diski leaves the reader wondering if these memories of hurt and sadness can never be erased, or if she went to Antarctica and embraced the whiteness of the land, and her oblivion.
Diski's grace and her skill of writing is what makes this book work. Her gentle and subtle way of depicting Jenny Diski's desperate desire to be overcome in whiteness and her "passion for oblivion" (Page 235) is relieving in the sense that she doesn't overbearingly reveal all of her emotions and feelings, and leaves room for implications to be made. Diski's ability to paint the world white, and splash color is incredibly delightful. Jenny Diski certainly does bring new meaning to whiteness in her book, Skating to Antarctica.
Rating:
Summary: St. Olaf Review
Review: Skating to Antarctica Review Essay
Jenny Diski presents to her readers the story of her painful childhood, venturing from her sexually abusive parents to her journey through poor foster care, until she finally escaped with the help of Doris Lessing. Her story appears inspirational and hopeful to those of an unfortunate background, making the reader believe one can achieve happiness and success in their own life, aside from what their past held.
From the very opening sentence Diski makes it known that: "I am not entirely content with the degree of whiteness in my life" (p.1). Her goal of reaching pure, white Antarctica seems natural here, it seems to simply be another step in her healing process. However, as the memoir continues, it seems as if Jenny changes her mind, describing her experiences on land "neither white nor solitary" (p. 165). Her depiction of the manner in which her father and mother treated her begin to play a more prominent role and it is exposed to the reader that Jenny Diski may not be the calm, composed, healed adult she pretends to be.
Skating to Antarctica emerges from a strong base in which Diski allows us to view her past and the horrific events and people she had to surpass in order to become the thriving author that she is today. Defensive from the very beginning, Diski attempts to convince her reader's that she has forgiven her father for leaving and her mother for the embarrassment and ridicule she caused her as a child. Lack of Jenny's "true"
Psychological healing is obviously apparent the entire way through her memoir, beginning with her idea that "disappointment is a safety net, to be relished in a secret knowing by the disappointed" (p. 8). This statement alone uncovers the idea that she lives her life in this sort of "net," just waiting to be hurt by everyone and anyone.
Trust is a huge issue in Jenny's life, an act she has a very difficult time both believing in and having faith in. She refers to the matter of truth as: "...dangerous, the truth was poison" (p. 98). Her non-ability to trust the people in her life proves that she still holds bitterness and resentment for her parents. Had her parents not harmed her in the way that they did, she's saying, she would be able to trust with no hindrances.
Immaturity also plays a part in this well written memoir. Diski, on the defensive, claims that she has moved on from her childhood, wanting no contact with her mother, yet she has not forgiven her. "The one truly generous act of my mother's that I could really put my finger on: her leaving me alone" (p. 28). Her dismissive attitude towards anything positive her mother did for her as a child is completely suffocated by Jenny's anger. She spends so much time challenging her reader to believe she has moved on, yet her defensiveness created the obvious idea that she has not.
While there are weak points in Skating to Antarctica, Jenny Diski writes in such a way that one can not help but be drawn to her story. Her depictions of Antarctica, while she discovers it may not be the place she can achieve pure whiteness, she makes it known that she did enjoy herself:
"It was, however, the most exhilarating ride had, fast and furious, the motor buzzing angrily against a wind that howled past my ears and made my eyes water salt tears to match the salt spray drenching my eyes" (p. 167).
While sometimes she acts though action and adventure is something she loathes, ("a phone call initiating activity is never so welcome as the one canceling it" (p. 66) here, one can see that she does enjoy getting out and experiencing new things. It is times when she tells of the things that are good in her life that her defense is down and the reader can sense a true feeling of who Jenny Diski is. Had her entire memoir consisted of passages where she was invigorated, rather than defensive or depressed, she may have been able to present herself as a more contented person.
Progress seems to have been made through the book, while Jenny learns new things about her childhood through Mrs. Gold and Mrs. Levine, however, once she learns her mother dead, Chloe asks if she is glad to know. Jenny's response: "Mmm. Yes, I think it is" (p. 250) makes one second guess whatever progress one had hoped she had made. Jenny Diski was not concrete in her thoughts even about her mother's death, making her audience question if she can be convinced the things in her past that aren't dead still don't need to be a part of her life any longer.
Rating:
Summary: St. Olaf Review
Review: Skating to Antarctica Review Essay
Jenny Diski presents to her readers the story of her painful childhood, venturing from her sexually abusive parents to her journey through poor foster care, until she finally escaped with the help of Doris Lessing. Her story appears inspirational and hopeful to those of an unfortunate background, making the reader believe one can achieve happiness and success in their own life, aside from what their past held.
From the very opening sentence Diski makes it known that: "I am not entirely content with the degree of whiteness in my life" (p.1). Her goal of reaching pure, white Antarctica seems natural here, it seems to simply be another step in her healing process. However, as the memoir continues, it seems as if Jenny changes her mind, describing her experiences on land "neither white nor solitary" (p. 165). Her depiction of the manner in which her father and mother treated her begin to play a more prominent role and it is exposed to the reader that Jenny Diski may not be the calm, composed, healed adult she pretends to be.
Skating to Antarctica emerges from a strong base in which Diski allows us to view her past and the horrific events and people she had to surpass in order to become the thriving author that she is today. Defensive from the very beginning, Diski attempts to convince her reader's that she has forgiven her father for leaving and her mother for the embarrassment and ridicule she caused her as a child. Lack of Jenny's "true"
Psychological healing is obviously apparent the entire way through her memoir, beginning with her idea that "disappointment is a safety net, to be relished in a secret knowing by the disappointed" (p. 8). This statement alone uncovers the idea that she lives her life in this sort of "net," just waiting to be hurt by everyone and anyone.
Trust is a huge issue in Jenny's life, an act she has a very difficult time both believing in and having faith in. She refers to the matter of truth as: "...dangerous, the truth was poison" (p. 98). Her non-ability to trust the people in her life proves that she still holds bitterness and resentment for her parents. Had her parents not harmed her in the way that they did, she's saying, she would be able to trust with no hindrances.
Immaturity also plays a part in this well written memoir. Diski, on the defensive, claims that she has moved on from her childhood, wanting no contact with her mother, yet she has not forgiven her. "The one truly generous act of my mother's that I could really put my finger on: her leaving me alone" (p. 28). Her dismissive attitude towards anything positive her mother did for her as a child is completely suffocated by Jenny's anger. She spends so much time challenging her reader to believe she has moved on, yet her defensiveness created the obvious idea that she has not.
While there are weak points in Skating to Antarctica, Jenny Diski writes in such a way that one can not help but be drawn to her story. Her depictions of Antarctica, while she discovers it may not be the place she can achieve pure whiteness, she makes it known that she did enjoy herself:
"It was, however, the most exhilarating ride I've ever
had, fast and furious, the motor buzzing angrily against
a wind that howled past my ears and made my eyes
water salt tears to match the salt spray drenching
my eyes" (p. 167).
While sometimes she acts though action and adventure is something she loathes, ("a phone call initiating activity is never so welcome as the one canceling it" (p. 66) here, one can see that she does enjoy getting out and experiencing new things. It is times when she tells of the things that are good in her life that her defense is down and the reader can sense a true feeling of who Jenny Diski is. Had her entire memoir consisted of passages where she was invigorated, rather than defensive or depressed, she may have been able to present herself as a more contented person.
Progress seems to have been made through the book, while Jenny learns new things about her childhood through Mrs. Gold and Mrs. Levine, however, once she learns her mother dead, Chloe asks if she is glad to know. Jenny's response: "Mmm. Yes, I think it is" (p. 250) makes one second guess whatever progress one had hoped she had made. Jenny Diski was not concrete in her thoughts even about her mother's death, making her audience question if she can be convinced the things in her past that aren't dead still don't need to be a part of her life any longer.
Rating:
Summary: Pondering Whiteness and Childhood
Review: We all have things in our past that make us cringe. Embarrassing moments, fights with loved ones, mistakes made to learn from, or painful realizations of the truth. In Jenny Diski's memoir, Skating to Antarctica, she airs out her past while thinking about the huge vast whiteness of Antarctica. The book pulls the reader into Diski's world, and even if some readers may be left wanting at the end of the book, the story flows well and keeps the reader interested throughout.
Diski's book opens up with her contemplations about white. She describes her bedroom, "...white walls, icy mirrors, white sheets and pillowcases, white slatted blinds. It's the best I could do. Some lack of courage-I wouldn't want to be thought extreme-has prevented me from having a white bedstead and side tables. They are wood, and they annoy me a little" (pg. 1). She further ponders her attraction to the white-the reason she has coated her bedroom in a covering of white-and reveals to the reader that she was hospitalized in a mental institution for depression. The root of that depression is the heart of this book.
Diski's need for white to permeate everything leads her to desire a trip to Antarctica, because, "I wanted my white bedroom extended beyond reason. That was Antarctica, and only Antarctica" (pg.5). Throughout the book she alternates scenes, every other chapter describing her trip to the Antarctic to find a white that will bring her true calm in the way she thinks only pure, extending white will.
The other alternating chapters describe Diski's childhood-a rough, horrifying childhood that leads her into depression, drug abuse, and institutionalization. She describes her mother, a suicidal and vengeful woman, and her father, a con man that Diski suspects used the same charm on his daughter as he did to trick women out of their money. A young Diski is stuck in the wake, and is often hit by the crossfire. Diski describes Jennifer, the young and frightened child that perhaps Diski once was or perhaps is a product of Diski's fiction writing: "As a writer, there is considerable freedom in the vagueness of Jennifer. The child who often appears in my novels sometimes has experiences I remember, but frequently doesn't. I am not fettered by history, by an absolute sense of telling-the-truth or making-things-up. I am free to play around with who Jennifer was, might have been, never could have been" (pg. 86). She describes one memory of her parents telling her the "truth" about each other, writing, "The truth-the truth that she concealed but now would reveal to me-was that my father did not love me as he said he did, was a bastard and a crook and a coward... The truth-[my father] disclosed-was that [my mother] insisted on being unconscious when she gave birth to me, that she refused to touch me to change my nappies and that my father had had to do it" (pg. 99). Her parents often used her to hurt each other, which, as Diski shows us, in reality did more damage to their young daughter than each other. Diski, throughout her novel, tests the boundaries of truth, proving that the truth can be irrelevant or manipulated and perhaps not the valuable commodity that society makes it to be.
In her adulthood, Diski deals with the ghost of her mother, a mother that she has not seen or spoken to in 30 years. After the death of her father, Diski reveals that her mother's antics became too much. She cut off all contact with her mother, and placed her in a box, never knowing her whereabouts or even if she was alive or dead. Diski however, realizes she must confront the reality of her mother's existence when her daughter, Chloe, starts asking questions about her long-lost grandmother. Chloe is trying to open the box and Diski must decide if and how this will change anything. She tries to conceal her interest, but realizes there is no hiding: "Though my mind said no, good citizenship told me she had as much right to that information as I did. It wasn't that I was already getting interested in this, just a case of not wanting to hamper an admirable exercise in basic research. Nothing more. Really" (pg. 36).
Diski shares her story with the other travelers on their way to Antarctica, as well as her childhood neighbors. Her fellow travelers on the boat to the end of the world, are a motley crew, and often remind Diski of the other story she is telling in this narrative. The other people sharing this book with Diski and her family are her childhood neighbors, who remind her of what she was, and what happened to her. There is a sense that Diski's visits with these neighbors is more about corroborating her story-making a point that it was her parents who were crazy and evil, not her. The interweaving of all the characters in this book connect them all back to Diski and her search for peace about her childhood. This is truly a bit of brilliance on the part of Diski. She manages to give everything meaning, pondering everything in the context of her story.
In the end, this book, perhaps like all memoirs, in a little self-indulgent. Diski focuses primarily on the evil her parents have done to her, and leaves the reader to wonder if she is so messed up because of these people, how did she become a successful writer? Diski, does, however, create an enthralling narrative, one that seductively teases and pulls the reader into her current life and her past. Her personality adds humor and warmth. One example is Diski's description of the elephant seal, a large creature named for its nose. Diski however, writes, "If an honest name were to be given, they would be flaccid penis seal, because the wrinkled concertinaed length and the bobbing, swinging floppiness of those extended noses is a satire on the male reproductive member" (pg.150). The book ends with another tease, but also with a definite conclusion. Readers may be disappointed by the ending, but not by the over-all memoir, which presents Diski at her most personal yet.
Rating:
Summary: Review of "Skating To Antarctica"
Review: William Richards
1-18-04
Review of "Skating To Antarctica"
In "Skating To Antarctica" author Jenny Diski weaves a transfixing memoir of her journey to Antarctica with her thoughts and memories of childhood to create an original masterpiece. Diski grew up with abusive and suicidal parents who fought constantly and provided little support or love to their daughter. Jenny struggled with depression as a teen and slipped in and out of psychiatric wards. When Jenny was eighteen years old, living in a foster home, her father died and soon after her mother vanished never to contact Jenny again. Diski learned to cope with her depression and became a successful writer and a mother. Diski chose to lock her past away but when her daughter, Chloe, becomes interested in her grandmother, Diski is forced to relive her past.
Diski writes to the rhythm of her thoughts not following a pattern but allowing her hand to flow freely. When reading this memoir you seem to be within Diski's head following the thoughts of Diski as they bounce around. Longing for an "unpeopled", "white", "empty" landscape we set off with Diski as she travels from London to Antarctica. Along the way we flash back and forth between her present escapade and her dark past fueled by the interest that her daughter has in her grandmother. Diski paints vivid descriptions of her human comrades on this Antarctic voyage from the self-conscious Big Jim to the shrewd Roth couple. She writes of her human interactions with humor, honesty, and familiarity that create a feeling of being at the scene observing the stranger. She intricately describes one man as, "an eager-faced graying US citizen with a touch of the shy but not so simple Ernest Borgnine about him". Diski has an inherent mistrust of people stemming from her troubled human relationships of childhood. When she meets someone who she happens to have a distant connection with, she is "slightly annoyed, since my Antarctic dream had not included pointless coincidences that would make anyone feel we had something in common. It was already not solitary enough". Diski writes with an unwavering honesty and precision that I find invigorating. Although you may disagree with her ideologies at times I don't think that you can question her courage to write what enters her mind, however coarse it may be.
Diski's voice is honest, confident, and vulnerable throughout this memoir and follows the familiar wavering pattern of human emotion. Diski writes with a confidence about her past saying, "The past can still make me shiver, but no bones are broken". However, one night considering genetics Jenny is flooded with despair, "My parents suddenly seemed inescapable, and I was caught up in the melodrama of feeling doomed". Diski, by so intricately explaining her emotions allows you to ride the waves of emotion that she experiences and you become enthralled in the moment.
What many people take for granted Diski critically analyzes. When on the island Grytviken, Diski is surrounded by fellow tourists snapping photographs in a blinding whir. Diski has an alternative view of photography saying, "photography is a modern, miniature form of colonization". Diski's analysis of human memory was fascinating, at one point she says, "Memory is not false in the sense that it is excitably corrupt or in its inclination to make a proper story of the past". Diski is in a battle with her own memory striving to make some sense of her past. Diski at times can seem excessively self-indulgent going on rants about her parents and dismissing the ways of the world. When nearing the Antarctic Peninsula Diski considers not landing on the landmass saying, "It's not the arriving but the not arriving...it's not the seeing of the whales, but the possibility of choosing not to see them". She goes on to introduce her "I don't have to if I don't want to" ideology about life. However whiny this may seem Diski opens all her emotions to the reader in this memoir and similar to any human, she has her own faults.
When reading this memoir one can't help but become enthralled in Diski's probing of memory. Diski paints the details before your eyes as if she is leading you through her story. When in the town of Ushuaia, "the town at the end of the world", Diski creates an eloquent scene saying that the houses would "make the designers of OZ hearts sing". Diski allows us to look inside a troubled mind that was wounded but has recovered. I found this memoir to be an encouraging step for Jenny Diski as she allows her daughter to open the box that she has always feared and accepts the contents with courage. I think all readers can relate to Diski's human tendencies, both her strengths and weaknesses. Individuals curious with the human mind and all the complexities therein would find this memoir to be both original and fascinating.
Diski is obviously not concerned with the perceptions that others have of her and she is not likely to conform to popular culture. When writing about her belief that writing is not a competition she says, "[I]'ve refused to let my publishers submit any of my books for prizes, because I don't think that I write to compete". However you might interpret this I can guarantee that you will never read anything else quite similar to Diski's memoir. It is always refreshing to have a writer that is not afraid to create a stir in society, Diski challenges us to reflect on our own perceptions of issues ranging from memory to how we pass the time that we have. Diski has crafted a beautifully written memoir that allows us to travel into the depths of the human mind and explore the complexities of life.
Sources:
New Statesman (1996), June 23, 2003 v132 i4643 p10-11.
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