All the Lost Girls: Confessions of a Southern Daughter

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Summary: Mothers and Daughters--Enigma or Revelation
Review: All the Lost Girls is a touching memoir of life in the Deep South of the 50's and 60's, but at the same time, it is the universal revelation of the mother-daughter relationship that touches all women. The question is, can we ever really know our mothers? No matter how much of their lives and dreams they choose to reveal to us, daughters are forever in that limbo of unknowing regarding their mothers. Whether it is competition for the father's love or favored status within the family, children, especially girls, are constantly competing with their mothers to be the best, not only to be the best and make her proud of you, but also to be better than she is. Here we find Patricia Foster, second daughter in a family only one generation removed from dire poverty and ignorance, who is raised in middle class splendor by a bright and ambitious mother and a doctor father. His status elevates the family to heights only given to professionals--doctors, lawyers etc., and her mother is determined that her daughters will have the talents and advantages that she was denied. They take every lesson available in a fifty mile radius of Foley, Alabama, a small town between the Gulf of Mexico and Mobile. Alas, Patricia's older sister, Jean, always seemed to be the better of the two, leaving Patricia to feel lost and without accomplishment, falling short of her parents's expectations. It takes years for her to make the break she must make to be her own person and even more years to mend the break with her parents. However, she realizes at age thirty that she has become her own person and that she has overcome the uncertainty and lack of self confidence of her youth. At last, she can be friends with her parents and relish the deep love and understanding she has longed for all her life. Patricia's story is a mirror of so many girls who feel they cannot live up to their mother's expectations and who feel inferior to them. Her revelation is that her mother's prodding was for love and even if to shed light on herself, she wanted her daughters's accomplishments to be embelishments for them to carry forward into the world.

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Summary: Amazing new book
Review: Patricia Foster has taken us into the intimacy of her family and made us feel not like strangers but like we too are a part of that amazingly complex, intelligent, and creative group of people. I am certain that it was not easy to write in such a revealing way because Southern women are taught that if you don't talk about problems they will go away and no one will ever know. I found it extremely brave of Foster to break that mold and come forward with facts that exposed not only herself but her mother as well. After all, what makes her admired mother tick was one of the best kept secrets in town! I feel that Patricia Foster's writing is comparable to the witty self-deprecatory style of Anne Lamott and the scandously revealing style of Kathryn Harrison. I would place this book with the best of the best.

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Summary: Award Winner for Book Design
Review: This book has won a Southern Books Competition Award of Merit in Book Design from the Southeastern Library Association. This award is given in recognition of the book's aesthetic appeal and design and for fine craftsmanship in its printing and binding. Congratulations to author Patricia Foster, designer Michele Myatt Quinn, printer Thomson-Shore, and the University of Alabama Press.

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Summary: Not just for women?
Review: This is a book I would probably never have chosen for myself. I guess the chain of events that got me here began in 1971 with the birth of my only child, my daughter. Possibly that, and the fact that I was raised by a single mother, gives me a little more insight into women's issues than the "average" guy. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. My wife and I had just joined the local Friends of the Library. The first event we were invited to was a reading and book signing by Patricia Foster. I was ambivalent about it, but my wife thought we should show our support by attending, and that's how I wound up in the audience. It was a well spent Sunday afternoon. Ms. Foster's reading was delightful. This lady has a terrific sense of humor. She kindly autographed a copy of her book to our daughter. I won't take up space with a synopsis. That's been done quite well by previous reviewers. I will say that I enjoyed the book and, although it has been termed a "woman's book", I think there are a lot of men who would also find it worthwhile. Ms. Foster is writing a novel now, and I look forward to reading it.