The Year Mom Got Religion: One Woman's Midlife Journey into Judaism

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Summary: An intimate personal search for Jewish meaning
Review: As an educator and researcher about Jewish adult development and learning, I come to Lee Meyerhoff Hendler's The Year Mom Got Religion with a particular interest in what this story can teach Jewish learners and their teachers about adult Jewish growth. Several things stand out. First, as Hendler notes, every Jew has a Jewish story to tell, and reading her story surely will impel others to craft and gain insight from their own autobiographies. The more we engage our own narratives, the more connected we become to our Jewish identities. In this sense, the storytelling here is engaging and inspiring; this book is definitely a "good read." Second, the path of each Jewish learner is unique, but every journey involves the kinds of challenges Hendler illustrates: overcoming the embarrassments of being a newcomer, finding compatible study partners, searching for quality teachers, acquiring new vocabularies, confronting and reframing old assumptions, feeling alienated from loved ones who are not on the journey too. By articulating these challenges, Hendler helps us to see that one doesn't "get" religion overnight; the process is gradual and mastery takes time and commitment. Nonetheless, the excitement and passion of the learner are infectious, and Hendler's account helps us to share her joy and to begin to imagine what fun we too could have on the road to Jewish literacy.

Finally, adult Jewish growth does not occur in isolation; when we develop, the people around us cannot help but be affected. Although Hendler's descriptions of her family's mixed responses make for important "drama" in this book, what is more compelling are the examples of the many ways the "learner" becomes the "teacher" who helps others to learn. As a teacher, Lee Hendler invites us to think about our own interpretations of Bible stories, our understanding of the Holocaust, our personal relationship with God, our definition of spirituality, our Jewish baggage and prejudices, and our commitments to the strengthening of Jewish community. Whether you are on a Jewish learning journey or want to understand what is involved in contemporary Jewish development, you will find this a highly informative and thought-provoking book.

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Summary: intelligent and honest. silly title belies depth
Review: I came to this book eagerly as an on-again-off-again "baalas teshuvah" myself. There are many books on the market about Jews becoming more religious, and many of these offer fascinating new insights. I was really hoping Hendler would have something to say that would resonate for me... but just a short way into the book, I realized I was going to be disappointed.

I'm sure Hendler is a lovely person, but on paper, I found her rather self-absorbed. She seems obsessed with her family's wealth, status and influence in the Jewish community, and while I'm heartened to see the "elite" showing an interest in genuine Jewish life, I couldn't help resenting the touch of sanctimoniousness I detected here.

I am also leery of anyone who claims to have "gotten religion" within the Conservative movement. My own past experience with Conservative Judaism has biased me here, but I think returning to your religious roots demands that you surround yourself with like-minded individuals. Frankly, I doubt there's any Conservative congregation on the continent where Shabbat, Kashrut and Taharat Hamishpacha are practiced in anything like a majority of homes.

I remember all too well walking home from a Conservative shul and having other congregants beep at me from their cars as they drove past. That was just one more symptom of the underlying disdain within the laypeople of that movement for accepting halachic responsibility in their lives.

I'm pleased that Hendler has taken on some of that responsibility, and that she's found joy and fulfillment in the process. However, I doubt that her message will resonate with most Conservative Jews, who are probably quite comfortable with their current lack of observance. What Hendler seems to have discovered is that while philanthropy alone isn't enough to elevate herself above the masses, halachic life might be.

In "getting religion", Hendler has joined a different type of elite, one that exists only within the Conservative movement. In Reform and Reconstructionist Judaism, laypeople are often well-educated, services include more English, and there is a greater focus on making religion accessible. In Orthodoxy, the majority of participants are observant, and can lead traditional services and Torah readings in Hebrew. Only in Conservative Judaism is there a rift between the layperson and the "priesthood", the rabbis and chazzanim who drape themselves in robes and silly hats so they can stand above their congregants at the front of the synagogue.

Hendler's "odyssey" (as another reviewer here called it) is really the tale of how she bought her way into that priesthood, acquiring everything but the long black robes through a pampered suburban journey into spiritual life. Though she contends that anyone can incorporate Judaism into his/her life, I doubt that's really what she's after, because then she wouldn't be (as the same reviewer commented), such a "sought-after lay speaker."

She is sought-after because her thesis is that Torah-inspired Judaism isn't such a "dirty" concept after all... even the rich can do it! But I for one resent that kind of help, with its insinuation that there is something improper about religious life, that it needs the "hechsher" (imprimatur) of wealth and a good upbringing to make it palatable.

In true Conservative fashion, Hendler's book ultimately touts Jewish life only as a means to personal fulfillment, rather than as a system of ancient responsibilities which are often as difficult and confounding as they are uplifting. Though she describes the difficulties of observance, her descriptions are often superficial and breezy, much like the title of this book. To me, both epitomize the Conservative obsession with being religious, but not TOO religious, that eventually drove me away from that movement altogether.

Another reviewer commends Hendler for her patience, but at many points in this book, that could be interpreted as restraint and a less-than-wholehearted desire to make the major life changes Judaism demands.

Read this book for its anecdotes and reminiscences, but don't expect any kind of epiphany. There isn't a lot of "take away" wisdom in this self-obsessed work. Hendler does provide a reading list, and the story of her journey might make a good starting point for Conservative Jews who want to stay that way. But there are better autobiographies to read for inspiration if you're interested in embarking on a full, open-minded Jewish journey.

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Summary: intelligent and honest. silly title belies depth
Review: I've read a lot of memoirs on Jewish identity recently, and this is one of the best.

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Summary: An outstanding memoir about a mid-life spiritual journey
Review: If you have woken up in the middle of your life and started reconnecting to your neshama and jewish roots, or if you are even thinking of it, this book is an absolute must. Lee writes a powerful and moving memoir that conveys the excitement, joy, and struggle of the journey. If you haven't started down the path, she might invite you to begin, and if you are in the middle of it, you will certainly feel like you have found a soulmate who understands the intensity of the experience. What I appreciated the most about Lee's book is one of her central messages: spritual growth that is authentic takes time. She will help you find the patience that you must summon to dedicate yourself to the path for a significant time, rather than looking for "microwave spirituality." If I was to counsel someone who is on a spiritual journey, I would consider this book required reading.

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Summary: The Year Mom Got Religion
Review: Lee Hendler's book details a creative and challenging exploration of seeking spirituality and meaning in Jewish life. Lee provides you with the challenges, the set backs, and the rewards that come with her remarkable journey. Her book should serve as a guide for all of us in finding our own special place within Jewish life. This is a book that can and should be shared with teenagers as well as adults. It was truly wonderful reading.

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Summary: The path to spiritual growth is rocky, but very rewarding
Review: This book is poignant, funny, and passionate. It is a must read, whether you are eager to reclaim your religious life, or just curious about those who choose this path. It is written with intelligence, insight and humor and will help you to understand that this personal journey, while richly rewarding, is not without some stumbling rocks on the path to spiritual growth. The author deeply feels her subject, and takes you along on her private pilgrimage as if you were a fly on the wall.

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Summary: "The Year Mom Got Religion"
Review: This is a fascinating book and a wonderful one because it is so honest. The author, scion of a highly-placed family in Baltimore, began her search for the meaning of Judaism at age 12, in a study group organized by her mother. Earlier she experienced feelings and moods, but in those weekly Thursday afternoon classes a different Judaism began to emerge, based on the history of a people - her people, the Jews. Through the example of a powerful grandfather, who had become a national leader of major Jewish organizations, she came to believe that the best expression of Judaism was philanthropy. (The Symphony Hall in Baltimore is named for him.) She had been taught in the synagogue religious school that prayer and worship were important parts of Judaism. But "our household was anti-religious and organized Jewish worship was scorned." At age 40, wife of a doctor and mother of four children, she began to ask deeper questions. What did she really know about being and acting as a Jew? "I knew that something huge was missing from the following equation: Volunteer work + Contribution + Israel + Holocaust + nostalgia + 2 candles every Friday night = a Jew. I sensed that the something missing might be a synagogue." She began to regularly attend Sabbath services, at first with trepidation and gradually felt comfortable with the service and the congregation, which became a community for her. "I learned that I cannot be the kind of Jew I want to be without studying. I cannot know what God or Judaism expects of me unless I know our texts and traditions." Embarked on a serious study program, she acquired a knowlege of the Hebrew language so that she could begin to read the Bible in the original, and then began to engage more complicated texts of Torah and Talmud. With this growing knowledge she developed a sense of obligation to live her daily life according to the laws of Kashrut (dietary rules) and Shabbat (Sabbath regulations). All this caused real struggle within the family. The children revolted, arguing that mother's life-style was interfering with weekends and after school activities, etc. The husband complained that he was being foreclosed from quality time with the children, etc. Very gradually, with steady explanations and compromises on her part, the family came to understand her deep needs. Today, Lee Meyerhoff Hendler is a sought-after lay speaker throughout the American Jewish community, bringing the story of her odyssey to vast audiences. She inspires, teaches, implores others to follow this path. Through her speeches and this book she spreads the message of what it means to be Jewish in the fullest sense. She is a model of how knowledge leads to performance, resulting in a satisfied soul. The book is inspirational, as is the author.