The House Where the Hardest Things Happened: A Memoir About Belonging

Rating:
Summary: Awful
Review: Anyone who has been around the church (regardless of denomination) for most of their lives will appreciate Kate Young Caley's experiences and journey through the pitfalls of man trying to do God's work man's way. Young-Caley presents her own story of a young girl in a very harsh world, who tries to make sense of wrongs and hurts from those whom she trusts and admires.

Male or female, this is a book that you must read and take to heart. Young-Caley's story is easy to read and easy to internalize. You will laugh and cry at the gripping presentation of how to see life, and God's place in it. I could not put this book down. What a refreshing story of hope and how Jesus can once again help us claim victory.

Please do not miss out on this most excellent work! Thanks Kate for helping me.

Rating:
Summary: Maybe, Just Maybe...
Review: Caley's book is a beautiful memoir with an arresting title and a melancholic cover. Within five pages, I was entranced by her lean, effective prose. I can relate to her church scars, and I anguished with her telling of the tale. To see her young mother and cancer-weary father ousted by well-meaning Christians...it's a sad and not uncommon story. Along life's path, Caley shows us that she has found some sense of peace regarding those years. She never sugarcoats the pain or misdeeds, but she chooses wisely to hold back the bitter words of revenge.

"The House Where the Hardest Things Happened" starts with such clarity of vision, proceeds smoothly through defining moments in Caley's life, then closes with a scene or two that bring redemption full circle via her own daughters and her new church home. Somehow, though, in conclusion, the book loses the steam that it builds. This may be a reflection of Caley's own slow release of anger. Or a symbol of her forgiveness at work. For me, having come through similar frustrations in a religious upbringing, it seems that she holds back on facing those final, deepest anguishes. She only brushes up against the subject of her gay brother. She sheds little light on her siblings' reactions to the same mistreatment. She shows so much grace--and for that I can only commend her--but she helps expose wounds many of us have faced, then leaves us only partially soothed.

Hey, Caley's writing can serve unapologetically as a balm. You will appreciate every word. If, however, you're hoping for soul-surgery, you'll still seek the aid of a Physician.

And maybe, just maybe, that's Caley's intent.

Rating:
Summary: Maybe, Just Maybe...
Review: Caley's book is a beautiful memoir with an arresting title and a melancholic cover. Within five pages, I was entranced by her lean, effective prose. I can relate to her church scars, and I anguished with her telling of the tale. To see her young mother and cancer-weary father ousted by well-meaning Christians...it's a sad and not uncommon story. Along life's path, Caley shows us that she has found some sense of peace regarding those years. She never sugarcoats the pain or misdeeds, but she chooses wisely to hold back the bitter words of revenge.

"The House Where the Hardest Things Happened" starts with such clarity of vision, proceeds smoothly through defining moments in Caley's life, then closes with a scene or two that bring redemption full circle via her own daughters and her new church home. Somehow, though, in conclusion, the book loses the steam that it builds. This may be a reflection of Caley's own slow release of anger. Or a symbol of her forgiveness at work. For me, having come through similar frustrations in a religious upbringing, it seems that she holds back on facing those final, deepest anguishes. She only brushes up against the subject of her gay brother. She sheds little light on her siblings' reactions to the same mistreatment. She shows so much grace--and for that I can only commend her--but she helps expose wounds many of us have faced, then leaves us only partially soothed.

Hey, Caley's writing can serve unapologetically as a balm. You will appreciate every word. If, however, you're hoping for soul-surgery, you'll still seek the aid of a Physician.

And maybe, just maybe, that's Caley's intent.

Rating:
Summary: How Does It Feel To Be Left Out?
Review: I am relatively well read in religious memoir, and more often than not, I find they follow either one of two paths. The first can be an "Amazing Grace" path where the person has made several serious errors in life and comes to faith, much like John Newton, the author of the words of the song of the same title who went from being a slave trader to an abolitionist. The other common theme is a person who has faith as a child, looses or abandons the faith, and then rediscovers its richness. I see the validity of both paths, find the stories moving, and usually gain a new insight into the ways in which God works. I assumed that Kate Young Caley's THE HOUSE WHERE THE HARDEST THINGS HAPPENED would follow one of these two well worn paths. It follows neither which gives it a unique flair from the beginning.

The story behind this memoir is distinctively different. Kate Young Caley did not loose or abandon her faith. The Young family belonged to a small, seemingly fundamentalist church that had strict rules about congregants' behavior. When the mother of the family took a job to support her sick husband and three young children, the congregation voted her out because her job involved serving alcohol, which was against church rules. Suddenly, the child Kate, who loved church and Bible lessons, could not understand why church was no longer part of her life. As she grew, she learned the story of what happened, the effect it had on her parents, and learned what it means to be left out of a community that is supposed to be loving and welcoming. Years later, she found a welcome in the Episcopal Church, but still had a longing for the church of her youth and still felt the wounds inflicted by this congregation. Yet it also taught her to be welcoming and non-judgmental.

I've tried to think about who could benefit from this memoir most. My guess is that the book is aimed at people who have been ostracized by faith, either blatantly as this congregation did, or those ostracized in ways that may not be as obvious, but still painful. Kate Young Caley's journey can be an inspiration. Yet I can't help but wonder if the group that this book could help most, would be those active in churches today. The book makes the reader realize the pain of rejection in general, but how that rejection is even more compounded when it happens in the context of faith. The book challenges us to see the Christ in others and remember how hurtful the wrong action can be. Kate Young Caley is happily a member of a congregation. Far too many people have been hurt or have seen loved ones hurt by churches and are not in the pews, perhaps never to return, even though they have so much to give.

My only criticism of the book could be its lack of completeness. I would like to know a bit more about why Kate Young Caley selected the Episcopal Church as well as how her faith helped her when she battled various illnesses. These topics are part of her present book, but I would love to see them fleshed out a bit. The only way this can be remedied would be by another book or two which tells these stories. This would be wonderful since we would once again be exposed to the truthful and beautiful writing of Kate Young Caley.


Rating:
Summary: Great book
Review: Kate's story was so touching and real, as she described her life I could see and feel her situations. Her writing is exquisite.It brought back memories of childhood experiences that only with God's loving hand can guide us to a healing that only He can do.
Thank you Kate Young-Caley for helping me to forgive,as our Heavenly Father forgives.

Rating:
Summary: A Healthy Engagement with Pain
Review: Most of us live out our childhood losses and hurts well into adulthood--some of us until we die. So it's encouraging to see such a healthy engagement with pain as Kate presents in this book. She allows the anger but rejects bitterness; she asks questions but with hope, not cynicism. Anyone who has been wounded by a faith community will find value in this moving story. But Caley's story will offer wisdom and companionship to anyone who simply wants to wrestle with the "ordinary" wounds of life--the grief that visits all of us, the losses we can't avoid or ignore. This is definitely adult reading in the sense that it requires a person to grow up even while in the process of healing.

Rating:
Summary: Read This Book !!
Review: The House Where the Hardest Things Happened is a book which was written from the heart.

The author has taken her view of spirituality and intertwined it with her often humorous upbringing from a young child to her adult years. Unlike most books dealing with our religious and spiritual experiences, Kate Caley has shared her everyday experiences, funny, sad, mundane and extraordinary as they are, and shaped them into a story which propels you along from one chapter to the next. The book in no way tells us how to act or live our lives, but rather explains what worked and what continues to work for the author. She expresses that the destination of her journey, is certainly far less important than the journey itself.

The book is fun !! Not something usually associated with books of this theme, but fun comes through the pages as we are invited into her world of childhood awe, motherhood, raising a family and even tragedy. All these events are written about in a manner which flows off the page as if we were having a conversation with Kate Caley.
When I finished the book, I wanted more.

Go buy this book !!

Rating:
Summary: Awful
Review: What, exactly, was the point of this book? While I can appreciate the difficulties the author faced, the book felt like sitting through a bad therapy session.