Beautiful Stranger: A Memoir of an Obsession With Perfection

Rating:
Summary: I'm surprised this isn't a bestseller
Review: I picked this up quickly at B&N to read while having coffee becoz of its provocative title and cover. It hooked me immediately with its intimacy and easy-read flow. I rarely comment on a book but felt it was important to highly recommend this one. Kudos to the author. I'll remember this one for awhile.

Rating:
Summary: A Vital Read for Our Appearance Obssessed Society
Review: I was in the middle of an end of summer reading slump when I was given a copy of this book. That night I picked it up with the intention of reading the first chapter to see if it could pull me in and encourage me into a second or third chapter. I had done this exercise with a stack of about eight books on my nightstand and expected the same result of putting it aside with the idea to read it later. Instead, I found myself not able to put it down and before I knew it I was on chapter five. As a 20 year old reader I found myself thinking if I were to tell my twenty something friends that, for instance, I didn't have a skin regime I would be met with shocked faces and gasps. This book is an amazing look at the consequences of appearance obsession instilled by today's society. It also captures the strength required to survive in our society when from a young age we are taught to value appearance so highly. A refreshing read on how truly shallow our world is becoming and the ability to see past appearance and see the more important things life holds.

Rating:
Summary: A startling account of the desperate desire for perfection
Review: Imagine that your family has plenty of money, old money, and that you were born with good looks, a good mind, and a talent for writing. You'd have it made, right? Not according to Hope Donahue, who holds a Masters Degree in Journalism and has written this painful account of her obsession with plastic surgery. The book details a period in her life beginning in her early twenties when she embarked on an addictive quest for a more beautiful face.

The only child of an obsessive mother ("she showers two or three times a day") and a diffident, hypochondriacal father, both loving parents but hampered by their own fears and foibles, Hope began to find comfort like no other in the attentions of her plastic surgeon. If Dr. S is as she described him, then one prays he'll be shut down, but we suspect he's fairly typical of the physicians who prey on the insecurities of wealthy women. Charismatic and cool, he could be all things to all girls, and Hope was dying for his love, willing to undergo the needle and the knife to gain a few moments of his time.

Her infatuation with Dr. S set her on the course that eventually ended in a dark, frightening crash of self-esteem. Obsessed about her face, particularly her nose, she went again and again to get it fixed, submitting to other treatments, most horribly painful, leaving her bruised and bloodied but, somehow, more content. For a brief while. Then the need reasserted itself. The worst mutilation she volunteered for was breast enlargement, something she had no need for and that had long-term consequences.

Her parents were puzzled and upset by her repeated surgeries and finally stopped bankrolling them. Her roommates confessed that they despised her and wanted her out. Her boyfriend turned out to be a married man who considered her nothing but a bit on the side. All of this led her downhill, to seek attention and income from pornographers who offered her big cash for photo shoots. Imagining a Playboy style scenario, Hope was unprepared for the porn scene and, luckily, backed out before she got embroiled in that seamy underworld.

She was fortunate, and her story acknowledges that. She found a counselor, got a simple job, started writing, and began to take feeble steps down the road to recovery. Along the way were more surgeries and Botox injections --- all expensive and all unneeded. Yet they made her feel good in a way that nothing else could.

The book's high point is another surgery --- one to reduce her breasts. This is a victory for Hope, a reversion to normal body shape and an acceptance of herself that makes the reader heave a great sigh of relief.

Donahue is able to recreate the sad, frantic and painful world in which she once lived in stark detail. She treats with frankness not only her own desperate desire for perfection, but also the general suffering of the obsessive personality. Hope is well named --- because this book will offer hope to others locked in a similar hell.

--- Reviewed by Barbara Bamberger Scott, author of WITH IT, soon to be released by Behler Publications.

Rating:
Summary: Shocking and frightening
Review: It was frightening to read how easily this girl followed the cut and paste view of beauty. But I found myself thinking of my own bending to pressure in smaller, less drastic ways. A very well written book.

Rating:
Summary: Looking for HOPE in an operation.
Review: The bookjacket reveals Hope Donahue the author. A cute woman with a cheeky grin and the appearance of not a care in the world. So when you read her story you are struck by how deceiving appearances are.

"Beautiful Stranger" is the true story of how Hope Donahue was totally immersed and obsessed with her appearance. She studied woman's magazines for the latest potions promising perfection. Spent hours ruminating over her "flaws". And countless time and money in the plastic surgeons office having one procedure after another.

She has her nose worked on, eyelift, cheek implants, breast surgery and more. In addition she doesn't give much thought to eating her roommates food and snooping through their drawers. Hope eventually is diagnosed with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and takes medication. She marries and has children.

Sadly though she admits near the end of the book that she still has the problem as she has had her eyebrows tatooed twice, a birthmark put on and removed, botox, collegen etc.

I felt great pity for the author. I want to say, "Hope, beauty is not all there is to life. And even if you are beautiful so what? It doesn't make you happier inside as witnessed by the super models like Gia who kill themselves or become addicted to drugs to ease depression. Regardless my comments would most likely not help Hope who seems driven now and then by urges she can't control.

I greatly admire Hope's gut wrenching honesty. Photographs would have give the book the extra star.

Rating:
Summary: Shockingly honest and sad
Review: This book chronicles an obsession with physical perfection--a true story about Donahue's own life. Her need to keep "improving" upon her physical self masked her own mental illness (OCD) and emotional issues left from a difficult childhood and often bizarre, unhealthy familial relationships. Donahue writes with brutal honesty about her own feelings and desires; while it is difficult to identify with her, it is easy to understand her, mainly due to the matter-of-fact way she explains and describes things. She resists the urge to tie up all loose ends neatly at the end of book, to wipe the slate totally clean and declare everything "fine". While it is clear that she has more control over her drive towards perfection and that she has done a lot of personal work in therapy and immensely improved her life, she admits to the all-too-frequent internal struggle over the old impulses to "fix" things.
Overall, the book is very interesting--it's often hard to believe that all these things happened to one person in 27 years, and harder still to believe that she managed to get her life back on track in an even shorter period of time. The confessional writing style creates intimacy and discomfort--both of which are necessary to understanding the author and her illness. While the book could have been even more interesting with before and after photos, it remains a compelling memoir.

Rating:
Summary: It's about more than plastic surgery
Review: This book is about much more than plastic surgery - the author did not have these surgeries just to improve her physical image. She suffers from an anxiety-related disorder that led her to obsess about her appearance and compulsively attempt to change it, just the way some people obsess about germs and compulsively wash their hands. Some of Hope's desire to change her appearance is more self-mutilation than self-improvement: "I...once believed there was nothing about my physical self that was worth preserving." The author has waged a valiant struggle to overcome her OCD behavior, through introspection and medication. The book's epilogue is particularly honest and touching, as she recounts some of her more recent battles with OCD thoughts and behavior. The book is insightful, well-written and gripping; I read it in one sitting. You may recognize yourself in Hope. I imagine that many people purchase this book thinking that it will be a sensational tell-all by a vapid bimbo who'd stop at nothing to be perfect, but that isn't what the book is about at all. It's about a woman whose life derailed and her quest to understand why and to rectify the situation. It's about overcoming one's upbringing and recreating a value system from the ground up. It's about introspection and personal growth, recognizing yourself for who you really are and not who others expect you to be. It's about coming to terms with mental illness and not being crippled by its stigma, but rather addressing it in order to move forward with a productive life.