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An Unfinished Marriage

An Unfinished Marriage

List Price: $12.95
Your Price: $10.36
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: A Unfortunate Sequel
Review: "A Year by the Sea," to which An Unfinished Marriage" is the sequel, is the memoir of a woman who peeled off the layers of her life and found again the person hidden under those layers. This is not unique in literature, nor in the lives of women, but Anderson's story is satisfying to women, most of whom are unable or unwilling to take Anderson's drastic and courageous approach to reshaping their lives. It was well-written and, deservedly, it sold well; a lot of us who read it learned from her experiences and appreciated her insights.

Unfortunately, "An Unfinished Marriage" is a bogus effort to take advantage of that success, with little basis. "Write a sequel, Joan. A lot of readers will buy the book, thinking that you really have something else to say."

Most of this book--and most of the so-called work on "finishing" or rescuing the marriage--takes place in Joan's head, not between Joan and Robin. Robin, newly retired, is undeveloped in the book, presented as though he has little or no role in the marriage and little or no interest in taking any steps to preserve it. He is trying to redefine himself as a retired person, a position for which Anderson has little sympathy. Having spent the preceding year re-evaluating and changing her life, she has not much interest in his attempt to do the same in the year she has apparently designated for re-evaluating and changing their marriage. This is a man who has obviously failed to get with the program.

Joan seems to feel that the future of the marriage is entirely in her hands and that somehow the marriage will move forward if she is very introspective and contrives everything possible into a series of lame metaphors that supposedly represent the marriage. A trip to the dump makes her realize that the marriage can be recycled like an aluminum can or a plastic bucket? Oh, please. Robin and Joan undertake the renovation of the beach house that has now become their year-round home and that is a metaphor for the remodeling of the marriage. Yes indeed, a recycled metaphor.(Which came first, the renovation or the metaphor?)

The dialogue in this book is stilted, way too heavy for normal conversation, fraught with meaning. In fact, everything in the book is fraught with meaning, too significant. If this reflects the their daily life during the period reported in the book, no wonder reassembling the marriage was so difficult. It seems that every action, every conversation, every event must be analyzed, reshaped and forced into significance for the sake of the book.

And therein lies the major problem with this book: It was forced into being. There is no book in this book.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: An ongoing relationship and an unfinished journey!
Review: An ongoing relationship and an unfinished journey!

In 1999, Joan Anderson's book, A Year by the Sea was published to unanimous acclaim. Written primarily as a memoir, the author focused on the year she separated from her husband and lived alone in their Cape Cod cottage. This slim volume spoke volumes to legions of women and quickly became a bestseller. Now in her newest book, An Unfinished Marriage, Anderson continues her story as she reconciles with her husband and he moves to the Cape.

Certainly, Joan Anderson took a bold step by separating from her husband to find herself and perhaps in part to add a new dimension to her married life. And while many women who are married for sometime would find this the thought of a solitary year intriguing, Anderson admits it was not always an easy experience. Neither is everything so wonderful during the time Robin and Joan joined together again.

For Joan, the reunion is initially fraught with tension and compromise. While Robin has retired and is now seeking a new meaning and purpose to his life, Joan has already found this during her year of solitude. Joan feels crowded by his presence both physically and emotionally. As Anderson also described unearthed emotions in her first book, she continues to reveal her innermost thoughts concerning the changes and growth for them as individuals and as a married couple. Month by month for the year of their reunion, Anderson charts the ups and downs of her marriage and their lives. With total candor
and great insight, she presents a vivid look into the inner working of this union. Drawing upon glimpses of their early, married life and their years as parents of two young boys, for many readers these scenes will serve as reminders of their own lives. While at first I was put off by Anderson's thought and words likening them to literary whining, this was short lived as the book intensified with emotions and resolutions. And all at once I came to fully understand the author's desires and wants not only for herself but for the two of them as a couple.

I do recommend reading both A Year by the Sea and An Unfinished Marriage. Both books evoke memories of Nan Martin's journey in the fictional title Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg. This is a wonderful renewal of spirit both as a woman and wife. I think that many would agree after reading this book that for Joan and Robin Anderson their journey continues and readers everywhere I imagine will wish them well.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: An ongoing relationship and an unfinished journey!
Review: An ongoing relationship and an unfinished journey!

In 1999, Joan Anderson's book, A Year by the Sea was published to unanimous acclaim. Written primarily as a memoir, the author focused on the year she separated from her husband and lived alone in their Cape Cod cottage. This slim volume spoke volumes to legions of women and quickly became a bestseller. Now in her newest book, An Unfinished Marriage, Anderson continues her story as she reconciles with her husband and he moves to the Cape.

Certainly, Joan Anderson took a bold step by separating from her husband to find herself and perhaps in part to add a new dimension to her married life. And while many women who are married for sometime would find this the thought of a solitary year intriguing, Anderson admits it was not always an easy experience. Neither is everything so wonderful during the time Robin and Joan joined together again.

For Joan, the reunion is initially fraught with tension and compromise. While Robin has retired and is now seeking a new meaning and purpose to his life, Joan has already found this during her year of solitude. Joan feels crowded by his presence both physically and emotionally. As Anderson also described unearthed emotions in her first book, she continues to reveal her innermost thoughts concerning the changes and growth for them as individuals and as a married couple. Month by month for the year of their reunion, Anderson charts the ups and downs of her marriage and their lives. With total candor
and great insight, she presents a vivid look into the inner working of this union. Drawing upon glimpses of their early, married life and their years as parents of two young boys, for many readers these scenes will serve as reminders of their own lives. While at first I was put off by Anderson's thought and words likening them to literary whining, this was short lived as the book intensified with emotions and resolutions. And all at once I came to fully understand the author's desires and wants not only for herself but for the two of them as a couple.

I do recommend reading both A Year by the Sea and An Unfinished Marriage. Both books evoke memories of Nan Martin's journey in the fictional title Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg. This is a wonderful renewal of spirit both as a woman and wife. I think that many would agree after reading this book that for Joan and Robin Anderson their journey continues and readers everywhere I imagine will wish them well.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: I hated this woman, but parts of the book were challenging
Review: I am not impressed with Joan Anderson's constant harping about her husband. She really does not portray him in a very positive light. Forced early retirement is not easy on any man and she should have been more sympathetic.

Although for her it may seem his forced early retirement is 'too much husband, half as much money', I often wonder if from his point of view, this chapter in his life doesn't feel like an excerpt from Sartre's No Exit, in which three people who come to detest each other are forced to stay in the same little room for eternity with no detente.

As a man, this book has the benefits of forcing you to look at your wife's state of mind and take action to give her some space before she takes off and leaves for a year. By the end, I am left thinking they should have just divorced because he deserves better.

At the end of the book, I am left thinking that the woman is just overcritical and self centered, and would be better off alone on a permanent basis.

Every man needs a woman who adores him - anything less and he's better off alone.



Rating: 4 stars
Summary: I preferred her first book, but this is a good follow up
Review: I found Joan Anderson's first book, A Year by the Sea to be a life altering book for me. This follow up doesn't quite live up to the original but it is interesting to see where the first book left off and what happened the year after the year by the sea. I recently met Joan Anderson at one of her wonderful weekend by the sea retreats and she told us that she had been asked why she and her husband got back together after a year apart, and she said it is because he is my best friend. As simple as that. This book does show the love and tenderness that Joan and Robin have for each other especially after Joan breaks her ankle and has to completely depend on her husband for everything. After an awkward start, he becomes an expert in domestic duties much to Joan's delight. Who knew? Given half a chance, men can take care of a household as well as a woman if he is willing to try. And their two weeks at the dune cottage while their house was being renovated was a kind of a whimsical adventure. With no electricity, running water or telephones what can you possible have to do for two whole weeks? Well, they managed to do a lot of discovery about themselves and their surroundings during that time. Everyone should have such an opportunity to get away from the rat race once in a while. I recommend the book but only after reading A Year by the Sea first if you haven't already because otherwise you won't get it.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: middle-age crisis
Review: I like both this book and Joan's first book, A Year by the sea. I like her written style and her honesty. When I read this book, I feel my heart beat and try to find out what is going to happen. It is a great book! As a woman, I understand her situation. I feel sorry for her. However, I just wonder how Robin (her husband) thinks of these two books. These two books unveiled their unfinished marriage, just like be naked in front of the public. I don't think I would like my husband to write and published our relationship "in public." And, I also wonder how her grown up children feel about the books? Will they feel comfortable about their parent's "problem" to be known? Will the books help their marriage? Well, I don't know. Probably I will have an answer as soon as Joan publishes her third book.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Thoughtful Comments about a Relationship
Review: I loved Joan Anderson's book "A Year by the Sea" and I was very happy to see that she had written another book about her life. I wasn't disappointed with this novel and read it in one sitting. I have come to the conclusion that either you like this writing style, a memoir with a homey feel, or you don't. With that said, what this book is, is Joan's opinions about her life and her observations about her marriage. This book won't appeal to everyone. Not everyone will agree with her opinions and may find her constant observations egocentric but for me, it was a wonderful look into an intelligent woman's world of what makes her relationship work and not work. I love the way Joan writes through the seasons, expressing her transformation from the self limiting roles of wife and mother to the open ones of companion, trusted friend and soulmate. Anderson is not afraid to take a hard look at herself and analyze the reasons she falls into negative behavior and attitudes. What's more she genuinely wants to transform and allow her husband to transform in his own unique way without interfering. Not an easy thing to do. As I finshed the book, I felt as if I had just ended a conversation with a friend who had shared some secrets, fears, laughs and accomplishments with me. This was an enjoyable and enlightening memoir.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Thoughtful Comments about a Relationship
Review: I loved Joan Anderson's book "A Year by the Sea" and I was very happy to see that she had written another book about her life. I wasn't disappointed with this novel and read it in one sitting. I have come to the conclusion that either you like this writing style, a memoir with a homey feel, or you don't. With that said, what this book is, is Joan's opinions about her life and her observations about her marriage. This book won't appeal to everyone. Not everyone will agree with her opinions and may find her constant observations egocentric but for me, it was a wonderful look into an intelligent woman's world of what makes her relationship work and not work. I love the way Joan writes through the seasons, expressing her transformation from the self limiting roles of wife and mother to the open ones of companion, trusted friend and soulmate. Anderson is not afraid to take a hard look at herself and analyze the reasons she falls into negative behavior and attitudes. What's more she genuinely wants to transform and allow her husband to transform in his own unique way without interfering. Not an easy thing to do. As I finshed the book, I felt as if I had just ended a conversation with a friend who had shared some secrets, fears, laughs and accomplishments with me. This was an enjoyable and enlightening memoir.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: It has taught me to hope.
Review: I read this book in one day on the eve of my 20th wedding anniversary. Although it held no surprises for me, I found it so intriguing I couldn't put it down. The parallels I could draw between my marriage and hers are quite similiar almost reassuringly so. We get to see what thoughts go thru Joan's mind during this reunion of husband and wife, I would be curious to see her husband's view. Makes me want to run off to a secluded shack with my husband. 20 years, seems almost ridiculous...

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: An Unfinished Woman
Review: There is one voice in this book and every character uses it in exactly the same pedantic, stilted manner. (At a dinner party, with the alcohol flowing freely, the husband finally lets his real feelings rip: "Joan might wax poetic about the Cape's bucolic nature, and this place may have filled the soul of Thoreau, but I'm not sure what it's going to do for me".) Each tiny situation is analyzed to death within the narrow prism of Anderson's self-centered nature. Considering her broken ankle: "It is no coincidence that the left side of my body sustained the injury, as it is the left side that is thought to be the feminine side - the side that receives and surrenders. In the healing of my ankle, am I also meant to allow my softer energies to flow more freely"? Geez. Joan needs to get out and do some volunteer work.


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