Rating: 
Summary: Loving someone who's mentally ill
Review: Loving someone who's mentally ill can be a wrenching, exhausting experience. It's a big, scary stew of affection and guilt and vexation and fear, a complicated blend of all sorts of conflicting emotions. You know you're supposed to love someone just as they are, but you can't help nurturing the secret hope, however impossible, that they'll somehow shake it off and emerge whole and healthy at last, ready to be a normal person; depending on how self-aware the loved one is, he or she may hope for the same thing, and it can't be easy to reject and hate a major part of yourself. It's hard enough when the relationship is with a friend or significant other; imagine how terrifying it must be for a child - who has every right to expect to be cared for by her parents - to have to deal with the danger and unpredictability of a mentally ill mother.
In Rescuing Patty Hearst: Memories From a Decade Gone Mad, a self-styled work of "creative nonfiction," Virginia Holman describes her childhood with a schizophrenic mother. In 1974, shortly after the famous Patty Hearst kidnapping (which fascinated both Virginia and her mother), Molly Holman leaves her husband and kidnaps her daughters, eight-year-old Virginia and infant Emma, taking them to a small cottage on the Virginia Peninsula. Delusional and under the sway of hallucinated voices, Molly believes that a "secret war" is being fought all throughout America; Molly's special task is to build a field hospital for the refugee children that will soon come pouring in. She puts her daughters to work "sanitizing" the decrepit cottage and painting the windows black; she spends her days scrawling war notes in a tattered notebook, or combing the beach and forest for "clues" (schizophrenics often see auras around brightly colored objects; Molly attaches significance to the color red). For four years, Molly descends further into madness, all the while retaining custody of both children; her fitness as a parent is never questioned by the community, and it is many years until she is finally institutionalized, according to the quirky rules then in place governing involuntary commitments to mental institutions.
As Virginia herself notes early on, the obvious question is: Why was this allowed to happen? Why did her father simply let Molly skedaddle with the children? Why didn't relatives, neighbors, or friends alert the authorities? Why was Molly permitted to traumatize her children for years with her volatile moods, her delusions and hallucinations, and activities tantamount to child abuse (as a practice "maneuver," Molly drives Virginia out into the country blindfolded, then drops her off and tells her to find her way home in the dark)? The author believes that there were a variety of factors at work. First, it wasn't all craziness; although there were many bad days, there were just as many good days, or at least forgettable ones. Second, this was a rural community back in the 1970s, not unfriendly but definitely reserved; people kept to themselves and weren't so quick to question others' eccentricities - they may not even have noticed them. Third, Molly was very skilled at pulling herself together when necessary, and acting presentable enough to pass muster to any school authorities or relatives that might drop by. And, perhaps most significantly, people are very good at ignoring things they don't feel equipped to deal with. Virginia understood that her family wasn't normal and that her mother was unstable, but she also felt a certain excitement from buying into her mother's fantasies. After all, what if it were really true? Whether or not Virginia truly believed Molly's war stories, it was easier to pretend that they were plausible than to accept that her mother was insane and an unfit parent.
Virginia traces the progression of her mother's illness over the years, as well as the family's painful process of growing accustomed to her erratic behavior and - most difficult of all - learning to care for Molly while living and enjoying their own lives. As an adult, Virginia corresponds with both parents, asking them for details of her childhood and their recollections of her mother's schizophrenia. Some of Molly's letters are reproduced in the book; it's fascinating, though eerie, to see the shifting awareness as Molly slides from reality to fantasy several times in the course of one short letter.
Through the process of researching and writing this memoir, Virginia seeks to make her peace with her tortured past and her complicated emotional bond with her mother. Because schizophrenia is passed down from the maternal side, Virginia worries that she may one day develop symptoms herself - schizophrenia commonly manifests in adolescence or early adulthood, but Molly's symptoms did not appear until she was in her thirties, married and with two dependent children. Rescuing Patty Hearst is ultimately about self-understanding and self-acceptance; about being aware of the effects of the past without letting the related fear control your life and ruin your chances for happiness.
It's not clear how much of the book is factually accurate, but the prose feels genuine and consistent; it's honest and matter-of-fact, without descending into self-pity or fake sentiment. Virginia doesn't try to cast her mother either as a scary Lady Macbeth or an object of pity, and the result is a warm, loving portrait of an unhappy woman constantly battling her own perceptions. In the final scene, Virginia visits her mother at the institution, and Molly begins a delusional harangue about how Virginia's father is having an affair with the psychiatrist's "hottie pants" secretary. Gathering her courage, Virginia tells her mother no, that's not true, it's just a delusion. "Then, [Molly] sighs and says, sadly, and from some still sane part of herself, `Oh. Well, maybe that's just how I wanted it to be.'" Wanting reality to be different for ourselves and for our loved ones - surely that's something we can all relate to.
Rating:
Summary: A Terrific Book
Review: Loving someone who's mentally ill, August 3, 2004
Reviewer: Steph "Steph" (At large) - See all my reviews
Loving someone who's mentally ill can be a wrenching, exhausting experience. It's a big, scary stew of affection and guilt and vexation and fear, a complicated blend of all sorts of conflicting emotions. You know you're supposed to love someone just as they are, but you can't help nurturing the secret hope, however impossible, that they'll somehow shake it off and emerge whole and healthy at last, ready to be a normal person; depending on how self-aware the loved one is, he or she may hope for the same thing, and it can't be easy to reject and hate a major part of yourself. It's hard enough when the relationship is with a friend or significant other; imagine how terrifying it must be for a child - who has every right to expect to be cared for by her parents - to have to deal with the danger and unpredictability of a mentally ill mother.
In Rescuing Patty Hearst: Memories From a Decade Gone Mad, a self-styled work of "creative nonfiction," Virginia Holman describes her childhood with a schizophrenic mother. In 1974, shortly after the famous Patty Hearst kidnapping (which fascinated both Virginia and her mother), Molly Holman leaves her husband and kidnaps her daughters, eight-year-old Virginia and infant Emma, taking them to a small cottage on the Virginia Peninsula. Delusional and under the sway of hallucinated voices, Molly believes that a "secret war" is being fought all throughout America; Molly's special task is to build a field hospital for the refugee children that will soon come pouring in. She puts her daughters to work "sanitizing" the decrepit cottage and painting the windows black; she spends her days scrawling war notes in a tattered notebook, or combing the beach and forest for "clues" (schizophrenics often see auras around brightly colored objects; Molly attaches significance to the color red). For four years, Molly descends further into madness, all the while retaining custody of both children; her fitness as a parent is never questioned by the community, and it is many years until she is finally institutionalized, according to the quirky rules then in place governing involuntary commitments to mental institutions.
As Virginia herself notes early on, the obvious question is: Why was this allowed to happen? Why did her father simply let Molly skedaddle with the children? Why didn't relatives, neighbors, or friends alert the authorities? Why was Molly permitted to traumatize her children for years with her volatile moods, her delusions and hallucinations, and activities tantamount to child abuse (as a practice "maneuver," Molly drives Virginia out into the country blindfolded, then drops her off and tells her to find her way home in the dark)? The author believes that there were a variety of factors at work. First, it wasn't all craziness; although there were many bad days, there were just as many good days, or at least forgettable ones. Second, this was a rural community back in the 1970s, not unfriendly but definitely reserved; people kept to themselves and weren't so quick to question others' eccentricities - they may not even have noticed them. Third, Molly was very skilled at pulling herself together when necessary, and acting presentable enough to pass muster to any school authorities or relatives that might drop by. And, perhaps most significantly, people are very good at ignoring things they don't feel equipped to deal with. Virginia understood that her family wasn't normal and that her mother was unstable, but she also felt a certain excitement from buying into her mother's fantasies. After all, what if it were really true? Whether or not Virginia truly believed Molly's war stories, it was easier to pretend that they were plausible than to accept that her mother was insane and an unfit parent.
Virginia traces the progression of her mother's illness over the years, as well as the family's painful process of growing accustomed to her erratic behavior and - most difficult of all - learning to care for Molly while living and enjoying their own lives. As an adult, Virginia corresponds with both parents, asking them for details of her childhood and their recollections of her mother's schizophrenia. Some of Molly's letters are reproduced in the book; it's fascinating, though eerie, to see the shifting awareness as Molly slides from reality to fantasy several times in the course of one short letter.
Through the process of researching and writing this memoir, Virginia seeks to make her peace with her tortured past and her complicated emotional bond with her mother. Because schizophrenia is passed down from the maternal side, Virginia worries that she may one day develop symptoms herself - schizophrenia commonly manifests in adolescence or early adulthood, but Molly's symptoms did not appear until she was in her thirties, married and with two dependent children. Rescuing Patty Hearst is ultimately about self-understanding and self-acceptance; about being aware of the effects of the past without letting the related fear control your life and ruin your chances for happiness.
It's not clear how much of the book is factually accurate, but the prose feels genuine and consistent; it's honest and matter-of-fact, without descending into self-pity or fake sentiment. Virginia doesn't try to cast her mother either as a scary Lady Macbeth or an object of pity, and the result is a warm, loving portrait of an unhappy woman constantly battling her own perceptions. In the final scene, Virginia visits her mother at the institution, and Molly begins a delusional harangue about how Virginia's father is having an affair with the psychiatrist's "hottie pants" secretary. Gathering her courage, Virginia tells her mother no, that's not true, it's just a delusion. "Then, [Molly] sighs and says, sadly, and from some still sane part of herself, `Oh. Well, maybe that's just how I wanted it to be.'" Wanting reality to be different for ourselves and for our loved ones - surely that's something we can all relate to.
Rating:
Summary: a beautiful book
Review: Many readers will be drawn to this book because of its subject matter, a family traumatized by a mother's schizophrenia, and Holman's honest and bracing account of her experience is certainly an important addition to the literature of mental illness. But this is a book that deserves praise for more than just that. It is beautifully written and captures perfectly that period of girlhood just before adolescence. Holman's portrayal of the 'seventies does as good a job as any I know of, going beyond the smiley faces and the pet rocks to recall with great accuracy what it felt like to live then. I can't recommend this book highly enough.
Rating:
Summary: Subsuming Psychosis
Review: Murder and the terror murderous fantasies evoke ripple through the pages of Rescuing Patty Hearst like a hungry shark moving through prey-laden water. And then there are the questions: How did it happen? Was anyone responsible? Me? Could it happen to me? Will it? Why was it allowed to go on for so long when what was occurring was so clearly damaging to children and to the family as a whole? Such concerns propel this investigation by Virginia Holman into her childhood nightmare which was reality. She is in need of some truth. Some emotional bedrock in a recondite landscape of mirage, denial and make believe. Although punctuated occasionally by a happy, or at least whimsical, memory Holman's story of surviving extreme maternal psychosis is disturbing and very unsettling. The writing is detailed but not dense, perhaps deceptively simple in structure and narrative flow. But effective. We feel the claustrophobia, the guilt, the hatred. The fear. We entertain the hope of being rescued right alongside Ms. Holman. We register viscerally the horror that mom has turned into a demon. And even though we know she is out of control and in desperate need of care taking herself, we come to the point of having had enough too. Holman and her younger sister were sacrificed to the demon/mom in order to avoid a family confrontation with truth and the resultant disruption that would ensue. In fact, Holman repeatedly begged her father to leave his wife and take her with him only to be told that mother would get custody of her children if he did. Sure. Although father is portrayed sympathetically in this account, it becomes difficult to stomach his willingness to accept the status quo year after year regardless of his wife's blatantly destructive, severely pathological behavior. Writing Rescuing Patty Hearst was surely an attempt to come to terms with this betrayal of his daughter's well being. As well as the entire debacle of growing up hostage to a parent's brutal inability to put a child's needs and best interests first. Surviving the ministrations of such an ill mother is an accomplishment in its own right but the process takes a heavy toll. Rescuing Patty Hearst provides a good deal of insight into how one survives, and what it takes to move on after enduring such a traumatic set of early experiences.
Rating: 
Summary: Brutally Honest Look at Madness
Review: Rescuing Patty Hearst is a brutally honest look at a daughter's examination of her schizophrenic mother's descent into madness. Virginia Holman's willingness to bare the truth behind her family's struggle will hopefully benefit other readers with similar problems. This memoir will break your heart, make your blood boil, and bring a sympathetic smile to your face.
Rating: 
Summary: Doesn't live up to its premise
Review: Someone else mentioned in a review that the book doesn't really do what it says it's going to. I was expected to read more about the issues going on in the 70s and how they affected the characters, not just a personal memoir. The Patty Hearst and other 70's mentions seemed forced and thrown in, to give the book a theme that the author never really explored.I also don't think the author did such a good job explaining her "kidnapping" and the torment she professes to have endured. Her adult self explains many times in the year 2000 entries that she's angry at her mother and hurt for her horrible childhood, but fails to actually describe the child as anything other than inconvenient.
Rating:
Summary: Doesn't live up to its premise
Review: Someone else mentioned in a review that the book doesn't really do what it says it's going to. I was expected to read more about the issues going on in the 70s and how they affected the characters, not just a personal memoir. The Patty Hearst and other 70's mentions seemed forced and thrown in, to give the book a theme that the author never really explored. I also don't think the author did such a good job explaining her "kidnapping" and the torment she professes to have endured. Her adult self explains many times in the year 2000 entries that she's angry at her mother and hurt for her horrible childhood, but fails to actually describe the child as anything other than inconvenient.
Rating:
Summary: An engaging and deeply moving memoir
Review: This book is witty, provocative, engaging, and deeply touching. I don't know of any other memoir quite like this -- or any other childhood like the one Ms. Holman experienced and describes. This book deals with harrowing subject matter, injustices that no child should have to endure, but Ms. Holman tells her story in a voice that never elicits pity. On the contrary, this writer comes across as a strong, complex, and very amusing woman -- not to mention a talented storyteller.
Rating:
Summary: Very thought provoking!
Review: This is an extremely well written, belivable, quick read. Holman is successful in portraying the life of a family living with a schizophrenic mother. This is such a serious subject that in the middle of the book I thought I would be depressed at the end. However, I was not. It sure made me think about my own behavior and how people around me perceive my personality idiosyncresies! The title was a bit deceiving and I purchased the book strictly on the basis of title. The subject was not at all what I expected, but I was not disappointed and I couldn't put it down until I was finished, at 2:00 a.m! Now on to Patty Hearst's bio!
Rating:
Summary: PLAN TO STAY UP LATE (reading)
Review: this was one that I couldnt put down. A page turning memoir.
Plan to stay up late reading, if you buy this one. I read a great deal so it takes a lot to capture and keep my atention. This one did that..........
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