Rating: Summary: Universal truths about the human experience Review: A compelling story about going under, struggling to breathe, and finally resurfacing. Who hasn't become untethered, reeled from a devastating loss, endured a toxic relationship? Kraus recounts her own experience with unflinching honesty, but the themes are universal. This is not a "poor me" tale. The author takes full responsibility for her behavior and complicity in the unraveling of her young life. Readers will pick up this memoir and find themselves gliding along a truly literary work. An amazing debut by Kraus.
Rating: Summary: Fine Writing, But Material Not Convincing Enough Review: Caroline Kraus makes a fine writer and indeed describes instances in her life with descriptive prose that make these situations come alive. However, the crux of the story, her relationship with Jane and her attachment to her late mother and how these relationships coincide emotionally, somehow miss the mark when she is trying to hit the emotional resonance that I am sure she's aiming for. We all go through periods of self-indulgence and trying to find ourselves at some point; however, the instances in this book seem a bit prolonged and indeed, perhaps as I am a reader seeing this whole drama from the outside looking in, you just want to say, "Enough already. Get a productive life with normal people around you!" Anyhow, besides that beef that I have, I enjoyed how she described everyday people in her life, i.e. her mother's friends and her immediate family, as those descriptions seemed more fluid than her prose which described her surrounding dysfunction.
Rating: Summary: Excellent! Review: I met Caroline at a book signing in Maryland. I bought the book and was deeply immersed in it. It was very enticing and is definitely a must read! I read the whole book in one day and would recommend it to anyone. Very emotional and moving!Janina
Rating: Summary: Gorgeous Prose, Engaging Story, Usual Quibble Review: I will admit that I was drawn to this memoir because of it's sort of sensational subject matter-- girl-girl obsession in SF! But I was pleased to find the writing to be absolutely lovely. I often found myself lingering over sentences, wishing I had written them. I will agree with the other reviews that there seems to be a mote of self-pity in this story, but I would guess that would come with the territory of such a story. And, as always, I am often suprised how people who live in such diverse cities manage to have so little contact with people of color. (I call it the Seinfield/Friends epidimic.) There are two African Americans in this story: one is an abusive drug addict (male) whom Kraus encounters in a night club (scaaary black man!) and the other is a sort of nurturing HIV-positive charity case who spouts wisdom and calls people "child."
Rating: Summary: Totally understandable Review: I, like the author, survived living with a borderline, and I can totally empathize with her story. Caroline is very courageous in sharing her story, and I hope she realizes she is not alone. I too was "sucked in," and taken advantage of, although not financially, but on an emotional level. Borderlines make you feel SO special--like YOU are the only person who has ever, or can ever, understand them. It's a very insidious type of relationship--by the time you realize you are in trouble, the damage has been done. Borderlines also have a way of making you feel that YOU are the one with the problem, not them. The most benign request or suggestion you may make to them is blown completely out of proportion, and taken as a personal attack, and then you are put in the position of having to apologize, and stroke their ego. Bordertlines are VERY unpredictable, their moods changing in seemingly a flash. By the time borderlines reach their 30s, they USUALLY have reached a plateau of sorts, and are able to cope reasonably well in life. One can only hope that this has happened to "Jane"--for her sake, and for the sake of those around her. My best wishes for Caroline.
Rating: Summary: Courageous Memoir Review: In Ms. Kraus' Memoir, she crafts a particularly well written recount of a personal experience that to most of us seems like a total nightmare. And in addition, she is courageous in her presentation. Not many have the courage to write for the world, that they were basically a somewhat bipolar individual with a huge identity crisis, but in fact, that is what Ms. Kraus has done.
With great aplomb, she depicts the essence of her relationship with her main character, and how it gave her both intense pleasure and the greatest of sorrows, the deepest of despairs. And in addition, brought Caroline to the very brink of total self-destruction.
But I do believe, that the book illustrates she has found the basic truth in Nietche's statement, "What Does Not Destroy Me Makes Me Stronger." The book is truly inspirational for all people in very difficult relationships, and allows the reader to deeply introspect, to understand Ms. Kraus' deep and emotional story.
Rating: Summary: A must-read Review: It is difficult to write a review on a memoir. One can choose to write about the merits of the writing itself; the arc of the "plot"; the "truthfulness" of the memories; the development of the "characters", etc., and while all are vital and necessary, in this review, I will just convey my own observations and reactions, for what its worth. This season I have taken a self-chosen, crash course on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I am a layman in that my expertise in this topic is purely experiential. In spite of my research into all books relating to BPD, this book actually found me when I was browsing through the new releases at the book store. The title jumped out at me, then the blurbs and dust-jacket synopsis. I immediately purchased it and started reading that day. Interestingly, this is not so much a life-as-case-study as it is a very personal account of the author's relationship with her family and with a woman named "Jane" who exhibits all of the traits of BPD. However, the book avoids any use of clinical jargon. I am an avid reader of the memoir genre, but this book reads differently from many other memoirs in that the author doesn't capitalize on unbelievable events or shocking characteristics of Jane. Kraus does not leave her own narrative to diagnose Jane or speculate what Jane is thinking. This meticulous care to stick to her truth makes this a fascinating tale of the descent a person who becomes invovled with a Borderline (the "non-BP"). This tactic is so refreshing because often the non-BP tends to paint a picture of being a complete victim. Kraus carefully articulates the choices that led her to become emeshed in the relationship, does not defend or deny her own culpability, and takes blame when it comes due. Kraus wisely, and thankfully for the reader, opts for full disclosure. "Borderlines" has much to offer and should ideally reach a wide audience including those not involved with a person having BPD. It offers a universal portrait of the levels of survival to which a person will allow in order to not face loneliness or self-analyzation. It is also a suspenseful page-turner without ever capitalizing on the horrific or grotesque. Kraus poignantly shows how everyday life can sometimes be an acceptance and incorporation of absurd and self-deprecating actions. It is a vital entry into the emerging canon of memoirs, and a welcome addition to the "must-read" list of people affected by someone with BPD.
Rating: Summary: fantastic Review: Janice Fortner, very well written, excellent...the timeline is superb and the book is so hard to put down. the words flow freely, the drama at time intense. I love to read memoirs and this one ranks up there with several others that i have found to be excellent,courageous books such as this one...they are Nightmares Echo, Running With Scissors and Sickened.
Rating: Summary: Gripping, intense, and yet ... Review: Overall, this is a great book. Caroline Kraus is (for the most part) unflinchingly honest in describing how she entered into, lived through, and finally escaped a relationship with Jane (who has borderline personality disorder). In some ways, it's frustrating--lots of people notice that Jane is "bad news," and Caroline ignores them all; Jane does horrible things to Caroline (the *least* of which is driving her deeply into debt) and everyone but Caroline realizes that there is a problem. Caroline is, however, very clear about showing us just how mixed-up she was--she does not blame everything that happened on Jane, but acknowledges that in some ways she sought out and clung to Jane just as Jane sought out and clung to her. Like others, I did find the link between Caroline's "drift" after her mother's death and her fixation with Jane to be a little hazy--I kept feeling as though Caroline was leaving something out that might have made things clearer. Nonetheless, her narrative is overall so honest that I can't help but be impressed that she was willing to share this story with the world. If nothing else, this book took a lot of courage, and I'm glad that I read it.
Rating: Summary: You, too, can be taken in by a manipulator Review: Poor Caroline Kraus, she managed to lose an inheritance, blow several credit cards, alienate her family, do poorly at jobs, and violate peoples' trust, but it Wasn't Her Fault. Her roommate made her do it! Really! She swears! She pinky-swears! Maybe her indulgent, well-to-do family fell for this line, but the reader shouldn't. This is just a self-pitying GenXer making her mistakes someone else's and calling it "art". That she sold her story reflects publishing's hunger for a post-Dave Eggers line of dead mother stories, not any merit on the part of this author.
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