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Summary: Everything I needed to hear but no one told me
Review: By:Bree-Anna MustadWhen reading this book, "Don't sweat the small stuff in Love" by Richard Carlson and Kristine Carlson, I read a number of different stories which had really triggared a lot of emotions on the present relationship I was dealing with. I felt as though the book was dirrectly speaking to me, and I was just convincing myself it was just another one of those cheesy love advice books, when really it was two people who have been through the hardships in relationships and discided to right their experiences and thoughts down. When I started to read the first chapter, "Mostly, be pals," I put the book down for a couple moments, almost thinking in my head how it related to my situation, and then picked it up again going on to "Learning to laugh at yourself." The good thing about this book is it not only specified a certain relationship with the opposite sex, it took any kind of relationship you could have with anyone and showed you how to handle cercumstances with that person to make that relationship easier. One of the quotes I liked out of that chapter was, "It's quite remarkable to observe what happens to a potentially heated interaction when someone is able to keep their sense of humor. In most cases, the situation is diffused and simply melts away." And that is the kind of advice that helps you in any circumstance. One of the chapters I personally learned the most from was chapter 49, "Take responsibility for your own happiness." This was why I titled this book review "Everything I needed to hear but noone told me." This chapter helped me realize that you cannot base your own happiness on other people. It should'nt be that you get into a relationship or make a new friend in order for them to fulfill something missing inside of you. Just like it's so easy to think someday you'll fall in love and then the rest of your life will be perfect. This chapter allows you to see that if your not fully happy and content with the individual you are, then envolving another human in your life will just take your focus away from your unhappiness and put that pressure on someone else to fulfill that. Personally, before I read this book, I kept asking myself and wondering what was wrong with my boyfriend and why was he not making me happy all the time. But now when I look at it I question to myself what was missing inside of me that was'nt making myself happy. For anyone that struggles with relationships and has a hard time admitting the truths about how you are in them...pick up this book. It will definatly enlighten you on an entire new way of opening your eyes to the little moments you can aviod to make those relationships easier.
Rating: 
Summary: Immediate Results
Review: If there was ever a book that could help change your relationship in a week, this is the book. By applying some of the very simple techniques, you will see amazing results. This book will not only help you in your marriage or dating relationship, it will also help you to become a better friend in general. "Ideally, our relationship is one part of life that feels like a sanctuary - a partnership that is mutually nourishing and enriching both spiritually and emotionally." ~pg. 106 I noticed that when I changed, people around me started to change. It was as if this book contains those secrets we have all been looking for to improve all our relationships. There is a simple reason. This is written from the heart and deals with those real life issues we all care about. We all have that basic need to be unconditionally loved. Just to be loved and appreciated for who we are. However, we have all developed habits that break down our connection with those important people in our lives. It is those little annoying habits that limit communication, take us down paths we don't want to follow that seem to cause the most problems. We repeat these habits over and over again, each time destroying a part of a relationship we care about. At times we feel as if we are going to have to end a marriage or a friendship because the problems seem insurmountable. That is exactly the time we have to start to look at what "we" are doing to hurt or help our relationships. Those rare and beautiful friendships with people we really care about are so unique, I can't think of any reason not to put away our pride and start to mend the hurt we may have caused. Sometimes it means we have to say we are sorry or maybe we have to be willing to forgive the hurt others have caused us. The feeling of letting it all go is immensely rewarding and freeing. You will be amazed by the depth in this tiny book. In a few hours, you will gain an immense amount of wisdom. Putting the 100 tiny meditations into practice might take a while. We all resist change. What my husband and I decided to do, was to read the book with a highlighter in hand. First I read the book and marked the ideas I felt were important to me. Now he will read it and mark the sections he feels are important. Then we are going to work on various aspects of our relationship together. "I've yet to see an instance where becoming more loving wasn't an idea worth considering." ~pg. 16 One of the most important ideas is to commit to being a "kind" person. Some of the other ideas I thought were quite helpful included: Thinking of what your partner is doing, instead of what he is not doing.
Avoiding the temptation to connect loving praise with things that are bothering you.
Be willing to say "I'm Sorry" and Be willing to Forgive.
Realize that being listened to is a profound human need.
Don't be too serious. Learn to laugh at yourself.
Eliminate defensiveness in your personality.
Don't make people feel like they are constantly disappointing you. If you are experiencing any frustration in your present relationship, this book will give you fast, easy solutions to changing your own outlook. By applying the principles, you will be amazed at how empowered you will feel when you take charge of your own destiny. What a beautiful gift to humanity. I can't wait to read the entire "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" series. Favorite Relationship Books: ISBN: 0061040428, 0061001597, 0394588029, 0394580192, 0789469855, 1564580458, 0789480743.
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Summary: Unskewing the Skewed
Review: In a place of midlife non-crisis, lugging baggage acquired with no regrets (baggage means, after all, that I have dared to live, to love, to risk my neck), I rather shamefacedly purchased this little book. I don't read this sort of... frivolous how-to nonsense, I don't! Why this, then? Small enough to hide inside my jacket pocket, short enough mini-chapters to take in with little disruption to my hurried life? Oh, that might be. But something caught my eye in browsing the pages. There's nothing preachy here. Nothing arrogantly wise. Indeed, in reading it, I experienced no epiphanies. I read the mini-chapters, frequently one to two pages long, between reading more serious stuff. But... I loved it. Really. Simple nuggets of basic good sense. Easily digested reminders of how to readjust my sometimes skewed priorities... and admit it, we all skew. A relatively painless bonk on the noggin from time to time to regain sharper focus on my perspective. Sometimes it is that really simple, common sense wisdom we lose... and this little book got it right again. Call it a tune-up to our human machinery. We could all use it on occasion for a smoother journey. My no regrets baggage felt pleasantly lighter as I added a little bounce to my step forward.
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Summary: No sweat, but not all sweetness either.
Review: My favorite chapter: Don't Continue Doing the Same Things and Expect a Different Result. Need I say more about the valuable stuff in this book? This is possibly the best of the "Don't Sweat" series and I cannot recommend it enough to anyone, young or old, in a relationship or out of one. It's eye-opening truth. Thanks, Dr. Carlson.
Rating:
Summary: Read it!
Review: My husband and I started with the first book Don't sweat the small stuff because both of our jobs were the kind were all we did was listen to other people complain and it really gets into your relationship. We loved this book especially. We sit in bed and each read a chapter and then talk about it. Not only are we spending quiet time together but we get to talk about things that you might not ordinarily bring up but you will let build up.
I highly recommend it and the other's in the series.
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Summary: Conflict Resolution Tactics 101
Review: Normally I don't go in for touchy-feely books like this. However my current relationship started off pretty rocky, with reincarnations of the problems I'd had in other relationships. I was getting tired of running into the same walls with the women in my life over and over again. It then occured to me that even though I was a nice/polite guy and all, I might need a change in my approach/tactics to conflict resolution and stuff like that, in terms of relationships. I tripped across this book, and decided 'oh, what the hell' and read it. Amazing stuff. This book isn't about "how to put up with your partner's crap." Instead, it really helped me with "tactics" in dealing with an argumentative/difficult partner (not abusive, just difficult)... but not in a way that was hostile, or where I was trying to 'win' or have 'control' or whatever. No, rather, it showed me ways that I could modify my own behavior and attitudes to come out with a win/win for both of us. I'm really happy I read it. The chapters written by Kristine Carlson weren't nearly as helpful to me as those written by Richard Carlson. These chapters seem to have a more 'for the ladies' slant to them, but they aren't very numerous (I'd say that overall the book is 80% written by Richard Carlson), and they do bring a bit of a different perspective at least. After reading this, I went back and read it AGAIN. The second time I took out a highlighter and highlighted 1-6 lines in each chapter that were, what I perceived to be, the 'main message' of each. Now whenever I find myself feeling impatient or annoyed with my relationship, I pick up the book, scan through the highlights, and I'm quickly reminded about how to handle the relationship in a loving/responsible way. Huge return on money/time investment with this one!
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Summary: One of the best relationship books ever written
Review: Richard and Kris Carlson have hit the vein of gold with this book. Each chapter is a polished gem of insight and truth. Pointing out the contrast between hurting behavior and loving behavior in such a way that you can't deny it, they give very practical, hands-on tips on how to be a better partner for life. My wife and I read a chapter aloud each day. We want it to stretch out as long as possible. It has already improved our relationship. If you have relationship troubles, order this book immediately!
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Summary: Love Advice from a couple
Review: The majority of this book is written by the man, who holds a Ph.D. His wife offers a few well-written chapters as well. Each chapter is devoted to one aspect of not "sweating the small stuff." Why aren't we told these things *before* we get married? I liked that there were male and female points of view adn it was spread into many easy, short chapters. I highly recommend this wonderful book!
Rating:
Summary: Read it!
Review: This book helped me turn around a dying relationship...I had been making mistakes and causing destruction that I never realized...doing everything else except simply being a loving and pleasant partner...now things are more amazing than they ever were and all I had to do was change my perspective and my priorities. Reading it and seeing the results of applying the advice has inspired me to seek personal growth in all arenas of my life. I only regret not having read it sooner.
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Summary: The blueprint for enlightened bahavior.
Review: This book is extremely well written and offers invaluable insights on how to grow and evolve as a human being. The applications here are universal, so it would be a valuable asset for anyone who is interested in humbling themselves and looking within and seeing ways to avoid life's constant pitfalls and lead a happier life. Everything discussed in the book is sound in thinking and reasoning, however you might think that putting into practice his teachings are easier said than done. But they're worth giving it a try, since you run the risk of increasing your own level of happiness. This book is extremely easy to read and is broken down into many many tiny chapters (2-3 pages max.)and each chapter has as its title to the subject matter he offers a solution to. I highly recommend it.
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