Rating: 
Summary: A Note from a Villanova University Senior Thesis Group
Review: Amazon.com Review for Getting the Love You Want
Author: Harville HendrixThis review was completed by a group of five college seniors from Villanova University. We spent a semester researching and reviewing best-selling self-help books on the subject of romantic relationships. We evaluated five texts after reviewing academic literature specifically on the topics of commitment, trust, conflict, verbal communication, and intimacy. In order to make you a more informed consumer, we hope to provide you with a review of Getting the Love You Want.
The author's intent of this book is to help people improve their romantic relationships. He claims that the book will provide sound insight for dating couples, married couples, heterosexual and homosexual couples. Getting the Love You Want provides people with an understanding of where their difficulties may stem from and includes a section of the book with actual exercises for couples to do over a period of time to improve their relationship. The style of the book is very personable and easy to understand. Hendrix's extensive experience of working with couples and helping people shines through his writing and helps the reader to feel at ease. Hendrix is challenging, yet at the same time understanding.
Getting the Love You Want addresses couples who want to work together to improve their relationship. The exercises in the book target both individuals in the relationship, but allow for increased self-understanding and growth as well.
We evaluated how the following five topics were approached in the book: Commitment- The advice for couples in revolves around the theme of commitment. Two chapters are devoted to commitment as well as a subheading in another chapter. Ideal commitment is described as "a decision to join together in a journey that will last the rest of their lives." Personal dedication is described as a necessary component of commitment. Trust- Several implications of trust are discussed in the book, but the word trust is briefly mentioned. Hendrix points out that the process of developing trust is a learning experience that allows someone to really get to know their partner. He suggests that we need to get over our self-centered tendencies and deal with personal issues preventing trust. Conflict- This subject is addressed in terms of anger, criticism and arguments. Specific exercises deal with working things out as a couple. Conflict is described as something that is not necessarily bad, but rather expressing anger in a constructive manner can be healthy. Hendrix recommends approaching situations with more acceptance and understanding in order that conflict may be seen in a more productive light. Verbal Communication- This topic is addressed in a very straightforward manner in the book. Hendrix stresses the importance of good communication skills. Couples need to be clear and specific in their communication. The book provides specific step-by-step exercises to enhance communication. Intimacy- The book approaches intimacy in the context of self-disclosure, expression of thought and emotion, listening, providing support, and making positive verbal statements. Hendrix also stresses the importance of sharing one's feelings. This book is best for the subject of verbal communication.(...)
Rating: 
Summary: Excellent resource for couples
Review: As a psychologist in a college counseling center, I don't often have the opportunity to work with couples, but when I do, I always recommend this book. GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT is an excellent self-help manual which is appropriate for all couples looking to enhance or to repair their relationship. Harville addresses the unconscious factors which contribute to who we choose as a mate, particularly the impact that significant figures from our childhoods (namely, our parents) can have on our relationships. He goes on to discuss in detail his Ten Characteristics of Developing a Conscious Marriage (or relationship). Each characteristic is illustrated using examples as well as a series of simple exercises which couples complete either individually or together. The 16 exercises are what make this book effective, and so it is vital that couples using the book make a commitment to work together. Those who are motivated for change will reap the rewards of this excellent self-help tool.
Rating:
Summary: best book ever
Review: Finally some one gets the whole picture! And puts it all in an easy to read book. Harville Hendrix not only explains the hows and whys of dying relationships he also has the cure. Most others only scratch the surface, he goes deep down. It can only be helpful to read it.
I want my daughters to read this book before they begin a marriage!
Rating:
Summary: Interesting approach
Review: In this book, Harville Hendrix introduces the imago model, which he developed as a tool for understand relationship problems.
He details the theory which is mainly based on psychoanalytical theorizing. His approach is quite interesting to read as you will discover the "roots" of some of your marriage problems and will gain greater insight.
But insight alonen won't solve your problems. Therefore, the author presents 16 exercises, which you can do together with your spouse to work on your relationship. These are highly interesting and revealing.
What's really missing in this book is an integration of modern research findings into the dynamics of relationships. So read this book, but also read the book by J. Gottman: "The 7 principles for making marriage work"
Rating:
Summary: It takes two
Review: It is hard to tell others what we want, this book gives practical tips on how to do just that. If couples could only communicate better, so many children would have both parents under the same roof. I recommend this book to anyone who is in a relationship. Also check out Rat Race Relaxer: Your Potential & The Maze of Life by JoAnna Carey for a step-by-step guide to getting more out of life.
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Summary: Life Changing!!!
Review: Let me start by saying I am not a self-help book devotee. That said, this book has revolutionized my relationship with my husband and taken it to a new level. BUT... I recommend this book for only those seriously committed to REALLY wanting an honest, soul-fully deep relationship. This is not a quick fix book full of easy answers. If you are looking for a book to tell you how to fix your partner or get them to be what you want them to be, don't buy this book. To make the concepts in Getting The Love You Want work, it takes a tremendous amount of gut wrenchingly honest introsepction, humility, willingness to do things completely differently, and total selflessness. It's hard work. But if you do what this book suggests, your life will be forever changed ... in all your relationships. This book has changed my life and enriched it beyond belief. I read the book - my husband didn't. Although he was not a proactive participant in the process, his life has been equally impacted and we are getting all we ever hoped for from each other.
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Summary: It brought me comfort and understanding
Review: My relationship of 16 months has been faltering for 8 months. Three weeks ago my girlfriend told me she "didn't want to be with me anymore." I was devastated. I've spent the last three weeks living and re-living all the events of our relationship and have talked to friends for hours ad-nauseum. The relationship started out so well. We had been acquaintences for 8 years. Friends for 2 1/2 years and finally entered into a relationship 16 months ago. The stages of our relationship eerily followed the book. My pain, confusion and loss was all-consuming. I could find no understanding within myself, no peace and no answers. Then one of my friends recommended I read this book. I had gone through a "self-help book" craze 9 years ago for another issue I was dealing with. Although I did find some answers after reading so many books I ended up overdosing on them and haven't read one since. I was not enthusiastic at all about revisiting the "self-help" area again. But I opened the book and read the first couple sentences and knew immediately...instinctively...that this was the book that would be able to help me understand many of the issues we must face in relationships....why we are attracted to certain people and not others...what happens to relationships once you get comfortable with the other person and you begin to lower your "guard"...why many of the things you do to try to "fix" your partner actually do more to drive the partner away. As other readers have noted, this book will not be effective for immature readers. Although I am a bit wary of psychologists that embrace a single theory to explain behavior, I found the rest of this book valuable and directly applicable to my life. Thank God for this book. It has enabled me to have my first good night sleep in three weeks. Even if your partner lacks the maturity to absorb, understand and apply the message in this book, it will give -you- the tools you need to ensure a better relationship in the future. Thank you Dr Hendrix for writing this book!
Rating:
Summary: A Note from a Villanova University Senior Thesis Group
Review: No one should be allowed to marry or even graduate from high school without a thorough-going understanding of this book. It may be the 1 thing (if there IS only 1 thing) we could do to improve our world - IMAGINE: feeling love and Being Loved year after year, decade after decade...it can be done, it has been done, most of us want that desperately...and if we learned how to do this, then we'd find ourselves in a happier citizenry, enjoy thriving kids from intact families in a civil society. The Hendrixes nail it... heavygoing reading, mind you... but heavygoing reading beats heavy heartbreak any day of the week... and heavier-going post-divorce years and what it does to the couple, the kids, the extended family, friends, the neighborhood, the community... it's too high a price to pay, especially if it turns out to be a Huge Mistake for all involved. GENIUS, GIFTED. A classic that no one could ever improve on. Thanks a million Dr. Hendrix! P.S. OPRAH also says he and his wife are The Best at explaining all of this - and I take Oprah's word on a LOT of things - since she has done a LOT of hard things Well.
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Summary: Getting the love you want-AUDIO CASSETTE
Review: This audio cassette was a complete waste of money!!! I could have read the front and back cover of the book and got the same information as this tape. I purchased it along with the workbook hoping that we could use the two together. That won't happen. In order to use the workbook effectively I have to buy the book and read it. The purpose of purchasing the audio tape was so we could (as a couple) listen to what Mr Harville Hendrix had to say..ya know spend some time together and still enhance our relationship. Well unless I spend more money and time to purchase the book then read it(with kids...HAHA)I will never know how good Mr Hendrix is. Complete waste of money...so disappointed.
Rating:
Summary: greater insight.
Review: This book approach is quite interesting to read as you will discover the "roots" of some of your marriage problems and will gain greater insight.
But insight alonen won't solve your problems. Therefore, the author presents 16 exercises, which you can do together with your spouse to work on your relationship.
What's really missing in this book is an integration of modern research findings into the dynamics of relationships.
I really found highly interesting in the book Sex and the perfect lover by Mabel Iam and I buy it B&N.com
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