Rating: Summary: a compact guide for real life families Review: This is the best how-to-parent-a-teen book I have found, after reading quite a few. It is succinct and humorous and covers the situations that really happen to parents and their teen aged kids. This book gives the best advice I've seen on how to reduce conflict, how to avoid unecessary conflict (he gives explicit advice on how and when to pick your battles), and how to handle conflict when it does occur, as sometimes it must. However, this book really convinced me that a lot of parent/teen conflict is unecessary and superfluous to really trying to raise a good kid into a good adult without trashing the relationship and spending several miserable years. It shows how we often react in a way that negates our true intentions, and gives better options for interacting. I have gone back to this book a number of times and I always come away feeling I've gotten advice that I can put into practice with real (and positive) results. I think my son and I are happier and closer as a result of this book.
Rating: Summary: Lighthearted Approach to Adolescence Review: Get Out Of My Life is a guidebook written to help parents understand and positively manage the difficult adolescent years. Suggestions on how parents can deal with adolescent turmoil, conflict, and real life issues are made. The physical and intellectual changes associated with adolescence are discussed. How teenagers respond to these uncontrolled changes is remarkably similar within the individual sexes. On the other hand, they can be quite different between the sexes. For example, for young female teens fitting in is paramount. A young female teen's self esteem can be directly tied to their level of popularity. Friends are also very important to young male teens, but the boys are more accepting and less cruel in the process. The interaction between parent and teenager is described and analyzed. Because the transition from childhood to adolescence is sporadic and out of character, parents are typically caught off guard and unprepared for hostile parent-adolescent interactions. This discussion is especially valuable in providing the bewildered parents examples of predictable teenage demands and how to handle them. For example, the parent of a new teen will immediately recognize the anecdotal descriptions the author provides like, "I don't care". Here the child threatens disobedience with the famous "I don't care what you say or do to me, I'll do what I want......." The author explains that it is the parent's job to discern actual disobedience from threatened disobedience and to avoid the ensuing fight at all costs. Finally, the book examines the real world external challenges teenagers face and gives the reader statistics, tips, and advise on: peer pressure, drugs, alcohol, divorce between parents, trouble in school, and sex. Again, the author does a good job of building his points using anecdotal parent/teen dialogue. This provides, on the one hand, a mirror for parent's own behavior; while reinforcing the commonality of the teen behavior they are seeing in their children. Anthony Wolf has 30 years of clinical experience in adolescent psychology as well as experience with two of his own teenagers. His purpose in writing the book is to provide characteristic teenage dialogue, with a quintessential situation, and translate it into the naivete of adolescence that it is. What I liked most about this book was the author's lighthearted approach to adolescence; as a parent of two adolescents myself, I could finally see the humor. It is much funnier when you come to realize that it is all normal and every family with an adolescent will experience it. Although I did not agree with all of his parenting advise, I agreed with the majority of his advice and found his book extremely insightful. I certainly would recommend this book to anyone who wants a better understanding of adolescence behavior.
Rating: Summary: Excellent, helpful book Review: This book is outstanding on two levels: theoretical and practical. It is plainspoken, funny, frank, and a great guide for how to weather the storm of adolescence wisely and well. If you're suddenly struggling with your teenager and have only one book to consult, this is it.
Rating: Summary: Wolf's writing is wonderful and his advice is genuine. Review: Anthony E. Wolf has added another parenting guide to his list of help books. -Get Out Of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl To The Mall? offers advice and much needed assistance to parents who are raising teenagers. Wolf describes today's adolescents as the "new teenager who are different than teenagers of previous generations and many parents are finding them almost impossible to deal with. They are bolder, less obedient, and their world is much more threatening and complicated. Therefore, the parents of today's "new teenagers" need to alter their parenting skills to be better equipped to handle such matters and Wolf's book can help. Most adults view teenagers as immature robots of disobedience who are merely trying to be difficult and miserable. But Wolf describes adolescents and their behavior in ways which make them seem much more needy of their parents love, guidance, and compassion. Wolf's book does not administer a list of rules of what to do and what not to do when raising a teenager. Instead he offers a variety of real life situations and he suggests methods parents may use to deal with these issues. . And, if there is no solution, as is the case in some of the situations, Wolf is not afraid to say so. Also, Wolf goes beyond just describing these situations. He gets behind the problem and explains why teenagers act the way that they do. His words act as a translator for the very foreign language of teenage behavior and very often his descriptions make their behavior seem much less despicable and much more comprehendible. Wolf covers such areas as parental decision making, lying teenagers, confrontation and how parents should handle it, teenagers who continually break rules, and methods parents should use to make rules. Wolf also addresses more modern issues like divorce, parenting alone, sex, suicide, and alcohol and drug use. Wolf does a wonderful job of assuring the parent that it is o.k. if they make mistakes while raising their teenagers. He is sure to remind his readers that adolescence is a stage and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Most importantly, Wolf offers assurance to parents that their efforts during these teenage years, however fruitless they may seem at the time, are crucial. Through his writing Wolf speaks to the hearts of parents without using a preachy or condescending tone. His advice is genuine and his concern is real. 'Get Out Of My Life' is a loving and compassionate guide to understanding today's teenagers. This book helps not only parents, but anyone who is involved with teenagers, truly understand their lives and not feel so angry at them all the time. Wolf offers his advice in a funny, easy to understand, real life, sensitive way, which draws the reader in and makes these difficult years seem much more survivable. He expels the monster image of adolescence that many people carry and replaces it with a much more lovable image that is needy of their parents attention. I applaud Wolf's work and strongly suggest it to anyone dealing with today's youth.
Rating: Summary: Let your teens read it also Review: As a therapist who specializes in adolescents, I have recomended this book to dozens of parents. They all love it and always recognize their teens. I tell parents to let the teens read the book also, they do, they laugh, they learn. It is the best book about teens I have ever read or used in my practice.
Rating: Summary: Helps you put your worries in perspective Review: I loved reading this book. It helped me realise that it's normal for my teenager to swear at me, be rude, refuse to do things for me, prefer her friends to me, and so on. This is all part of a necessary step of growing up. As a parent, you need to keep restating the rules and boundaries, make sure the limits are there, but not totally lose it when they are transgressed. This book has helped me to get a more objective -- and much more sympathetic -- view of what's going on in her head. The fact that my darling little 14-year-old girl has gone gothic and spends hours playing heavy metal on her electric guitar suddenly seems more endearing than worrying! Now I can focus on the more important things, like the fact that she also seems happy, relaxed and is doing well in school. Any amount of black nail varnish is worth that! It's an easy-to-read, fairly light book, but despite its simplicity it has made me feel much more confident about my ability to deal with her teenage years. I'm currently reading "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy" which is a good complement to "Get Out of my Life". PS - It's refreshing to see a book that has realistic dialogue. Swearing and all.
Rating: Summary: Not bad, but not good either Review: As a child psychologist myself, I've been reading a large number of parenting books looking for material to suggest to families I see. While this book is not a total waste of time, and there are some (IMHO) worthwhile ideas in here, I would not recommend this book to anyone. I listened to the audiobook version, and while no prude at all, I did find the use of vulgarity excessive. Apparently the author assumes teens all swear like linebackers around their parents. While I know they have a colorful vocabulary, many use discretion regarding when they use it, and his presentation made it appear this is the norm and not to be too concerned about it. After 15 years in practice I can count on one hand the numbers of teens who have cursed in my office without immediately catching themselves and apologizing. Second, I find his stance on many issues to be rather passive and unnecessarily so. While I always advise parents to choose their battles, and certainly am aware that total control is neither possible nor recommended, I found this approach to be a bit too much of the 'shrug you shoulders...what can you do' ilk. There are worse parenting books out there, but there are better as well.
Rating: Summary: Bad Language Unnecessary Review: This book was recommended to me. It has a lot of good ideas about understanding and dealing with teenagers. However I was very distressed by the use of bad language throughout the book. It was used while quoting "typical" teenage responses to parents, but it still is unnecessary. I am a teacher. I don't allow that language from my teenagers at home, from my students, or from the adults I work & associate with when they are talking to me. I certainly don't need to read that kind of language in my parenting materials. The more we accept bad language in our media, the more of it we will hear. It is something we do not have to tolerate. Because of the language, I do not recommend this book.
Rating: Summary: What else can I say... Review: I have just finished this book (a few pages left really)..it is wonderful and has given me hope..definately worth the price, I will recommend to everyone I know.
Rating: Summary: I survived my daughter's early teenage years with this book! Review: The parenting issues this book explores are right on target! After reading this book and applying some of the practices and attitudes Mr. Wolf advises, I was able to return to a happy and calm life in my own home (without getting rid of the teenager!). I have bought four copies now to share with other parents that are lamenting the teenage years in their home! A MUST READ.
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