Rating: Summary: Good book for understanding emotions. Review: I like Daniel Goleman's explanation of emotional intelligence. As so many of our decisions are emotionally based, it is imperative that we understand the value of emotions and how to intelligently deal with them. My favorite book on emotional intelligence is Optimal Thinking -- How to Be Your Best Self by Rosalene Glickman, Ph.D. She offers a roadmap to deal with disturbing emotions, and a roadmap for specific emotions. She shows you how to use emotions as optimization signals. If you read both books, you'll have it all.
Rating: Summary: What really counts in this world! Review: This book tells us about what really counts in this world to be successful in life. It puts together brain research, psychology, myths, and personal anecdotes in such a nice way that the reader really "gets" that message. It shows us that emotional intelligence is really the key to maturity and success as a human being. I think it is a powerful and important message in this day and age where the imbalance between the development of logical intelligence (e.g., technology) and emotional maturity is so extreme that we humans are in danger of extinction. If you are interested in this topic I'd also recommend "Rhythm, Relationships, & Transcendence" by Toru Sato. It is a fascinating book that will enhance your emotional intelligence. Guaranteed!
Rating: Summary: Great Insight book ! New Approach Review: This book differs from the hyped Self-Help and Get-better books by seeking to explain physiologically and mentaly how our mind is wired ! Once you comprehend these mechanisms, it will be very easy to "self-heal" the minds and all its errs !Greatly recomended ! Might not be as easy to read as some other books ! But it is the all-rounded BEST !
Rating: Summary: Not what I expected Review: This book started off with a wonderful detailed description of how the brain functions, spends the middle two-thirds explaining why we need to be able to identify and deal with our emotions when we are young, and then closes with real life examples where the principals have been used(schools) along some results. Makes a valid agruement for dealing with/becoming aware of our emotions during our youth but does not do much for the mature adult who wants to improve their own emotional intelligence. Ideal for a parent or any school administrator considering this type of course for their schools curriculum.
Rating: Summary: C.O.D. Review: Don't you just get the feeling in some of the reviews that Daniel Goleman and friends write to leave an occasional butterscotch taste in your mouth. I live outside of the States and although I've heard many references to this book, I didn't decide to buy it until today. I normally don't like these kinds of books but want to see what it's about. Somehow I don't feel sure of my purchase after reading reviews and feel like returning the book. I probably won't but I have to say that I hope that it's better than the reviews that I've just read. Myself being a free thinker with no real interest in popular opinion hope to find ideas that could help in social situations without condemning people that don't want to just snugly fit into society but still want to be effective in their daily lives.
Rating: Summary: How about immune system intelligence? Review: The notion of emotional intelligence, so agreeable to those who like to think that they (being more mature or gifted than the rest of us) have better control over their emotions, is as specious as that of IQ. What is really meant here is social intelligence; that is, how to behave in a manner that leads to a successful adjustment to society. As such this is just another pop psychology book dressed up in the latest gimmick, circa 1995. But what about the implication in the title? Do some people really have more emotional intelligence that others? Can we learn to raise our emotional IQ? Does it even make sense to speak of having an emotional IQ? Is it "smart" emotionally to not feel jealousy, or is it the other way around? More to the point, can we actually choose not to feel an emotion? Okay, given that we cannot choose to feel or not feel emotions (which is the salient nature of emotions: they drive us whether we like it or not), what about having intelligence about those emotions? That subject would make a great book, but it would not work as a simplistic, commercial effort. What would be required is an examination of how emotions developed, their efficacy, their value in our lives, how they guide us and how they sometimes mislead us. Would life work without emotions? Goleman does not address these questions. The crux of the matter as presented in his book is to control our behavior in the face of emotional feelings that may lead us to do things that we will regret. Consequently this book has nothing to do with emotional intelligence but everything to do with behavior modification. Which is fine, but it is nothing new. A book that addresses one emotion (jealousy) in a manner that really defines the emotion and shows us why it exists, what its purpose is and how we might respond to it, is David Buss's The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love and Sex (2000), which I highly recommend. My misgivings aside, it is interesting to note that Goleman's notion of emotional intelligence has spawned something like an entire industry of imitations and fanciful applications (The Handbook of Emotional Intelligence, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, etc.). He has a follow-up book, Working with Emotional Intelligence (the usual book biz spin to take advantage of the commercial success of a title), and his wife has penned something called Emotional Alchemy, and together they have spanned the continent (and probably Europe as well) hosting seminars/lectures/book signings/book-selling gigs, etc. By the way, the most deleterious emotion, as an earlier reviewer has pointed out, is that of desire--as in desire for fame, fortune and worldly success--an emotion that Goleman doesn't mention at all!
Rating: Summary: excellent for anyone, but especially a parent/new parent Review: This book is fairly easy to read and interesting after you get past the first 1/4 to 1/3 of it. That is a pleasant surprise because I think it could be used as a text book with the level of information contained inside. The content is essential to anyone who wants to understand the dynamics of human emotional and social responses. I would (and have) recommend this book to anyone I know (or don't know). I think that the book as a whole can help parents understand how to teach their children to deal with the ups and downs of life. There is a chapter dedicated to children, but I think most of the other chapters apply also. If you are considering this book at all, then buy it or borrow it.
Rating: Summary: This not a how to book... Review: I really liked this book despite the 3 star rating. The problem is that it basically describes what it is, and not how to use the info in making your own emotional IQ better. But, I do reccommend this book, and I think a lot of people should read it as it is applicable. Just wish there were more how to's in this book.
Rating: Summary: Good ideas twisted the wrong way, big time. Review: Too bad such a good idea had to be couched in such a smug, self-satisfied tone. Throughout the book, I had the distinct feeling that I was being patronized. The feeling that I was hearing, "Oh, you think you're so smart, but you're a loser as far as emotions and personality are concerned, and you're gonna have a miserable, pain-filled life." The impression I got was that high IQ goes hand-in-hand, even *causes* a lack of personal skills. That being said, I think Mr. Goleman has some good, long-overdue ideas. I have indeed felt my own life to be much more satisfying when I implemented some of his suggestions. It gives me a real sense of clarity when I attempt to tune in to other people's agendas... makes me feel as if I have much more personal power and control over my own choices, instead of working myself up into a tizzy over others' behavior towards me. Empathy--really giving of yourself emotionally-- enables me to have insight into others' lives and my own, as well as a quality of connection and sharing that I had never thought possible. I am a veterinary student, and just as with human patients, the most precious gift you really can give is your time and your listening ears... and it feels phenomenal to the listener as well as the speaker. Those who decry the "clueless", I think, are closer to the mark than Goleman himself is. Because it really is all about having a clue... knowing what to do, knowing what is going on, knowing how to act and what to be. I used to think I was one of maybe five people in the country who did not like this book, because everybody else seemed to treat it as gospel. Truly, not until recently did I find ANY kind of real criticism of it. From the beginning, though, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Yes, it did speak to me, at least partially... but the aforementioned smugness I felt from it, as well as other previously unvoiced doubts, told me it wasn't quite right. Too bad, also, that many of this book's critics tend to fall into arguments that only seem to bolster Goleman's cause. After all, those who disagree with the book must all be racist, immature, or just jealous of other's emotional and social ease, and therefore their opinions are less valid, right? Now for my other doubts: Quite simply, I have a problem with *how* people attempt to implement his ideas. How many of you have a friend who works for a corporation that regularly puts its employees through ridiculous, even humiliating, "team-building" and "morale-building" seminars? Such activities are unspokenly (sometimes spokenly) enforced under the threat of being deemed not a team player or having a bad attitude. I suppose bosses can now tell dissenters that they lack EQ and won't amount to much at work. Or, for that matter, in life; since EQ carries over to personal life and the very satisfaction with and enjoyment of it. "The right attitude" in real life means agreement more often than most may think... agreeing with the boss, the crowd, or the prevailing opinion. Social competence seems to be defined primarily in terms of being agreeable, approachable and nonthreatening... primarily, of course, intended to be aimed at women, who, after all, are supposed to be more inherently nurturing and relationship-seeking. Persistence, determination, tenacity, boldness, passion, vivacity, vigor... nowhere does Goleman have a fraction of the praise for these qualities that he has for "social competence". Because these qualities just might put one into disagreement with others, and apparently if you are truly competent socially, you just don't disagree. Or if you do, it's in a "nonthreatening" way... We point to study after study showing how married people are healthier, wealthier and happier than single people, and that social isolation increases the risk of early illness and death. We make women in particular feel inadequate for not being "nurturing" enough, and people in general for not "getting along" well enough. And as for children displaying the aforementioned qualities in too high levels... we put them on Ritalin or Paxil. I did not feel personally more competent emotionally OR socially when I held back, trying to be "nonthreatening"... no, it was when I found my voice and agreed to disagree, when I decided to risk some negative perceptions from others. Call me funny, but I don't think that REAL emotional intelligence would stand for suffocating people under a mantle of "going along to get along". I wonder how many people hurt others simply by tarring them with a "does not get along" brush, and verbally or secretly invoking EQ? For advice I could really use on improving my social and emotional competence, I found Phil McGraw's books much more useful, especially "Life Strategies" and "Self Matters." To glean some spiritual insight, I could turn to Deepak Chopra. And from fanfiction writers, I learned some valuable lessons about creating realistic characters, painting emotionally rich and complex scenarios, respectful critiquing, and getting a proper critical distance on my personal needs, desires, fantasies and insecurities... lessons that, in applying to other dimensions of my life, have been unbelievably helpful. These sources were much more healing and useful than Goleman's advice ever was. And not once did I come away with a feeling of having my nose rubbed in it.
Rating: Summary: The lesson your mom tried to teach you... Review: Daniel Goleman's writing is concise, highly readable, and interesting. The first couple of chapters deal with the science behind emotions and the brain, then the rest of them analyze the role of emotions in many different aspects of life (at work, in a developing child, in health, and in disorders and diseases) This book puts some scientific logic and reasoning, and links to research, behind the "common sense" idea that it takes more than smarts to make it in this world...success is not supressing emotions, but being able to handle them when they surface. Everyone can stand to benefit from a better understanding of thier emotions. This is not a "self-help" book, in my opinion, but a thorough examination of the current state of physiological origins and effects of emotions--dealt with in a simple and direct manner. Daniel highlights the effects of anger, depression and anxiety in adults and children. Daniel pulls out the relevant points and parts of today's research and binds them cohesively into a fascinating exploration of how the leading indicator of success is often the amount of rational control one has over thier emotions. The nice thing about the book is it deftly avoids getting bogged down in the research detail and statistics. All in all, learning the importance of emotions in life is a journey we all make sooner or later, but never will you have the opportunity to have it so clearly presented and explained.
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