Boundaries

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Summary: The book is Biblical and helped change my life...
Review: This book was a foundation book for my life. It explained a LOT about problems in my life I have gone through, bad personal traits (sins) I had, and why things didn't work. It also made clear certain principles in the Bible I didn't see before I read the book. The true ability to care does come from saying no sometimes. I wish I could address people's objections they have to this book (look me up if you want to discuss it).

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Summary: Buy this book!
Review: This book gives example after example of the ways boundaries can and should be used to strengthen relationships and keep people from being used and abused.

Reviewer Dr. Stewart must not have read this book or must be living in a perfect world where everyone treats each other like angels. She is misinterpreting the word "boundaries" to be "barriers." The world I live in contains an uncle who doesn't know how to set loving boundaries with a wife who is vengeful and manipulative, an aunt who doesn't know how to say "No, I can't take on another project right now because I've had bronchitis for 6 months and am exhausted," and a brother who is setting such overly strict boundaries with his children that they do not respect him, they only fear him.

In a society where boundaries are commonly rejected as "infringing on my rights," this book expertly explains how we all desperately need healthy boundaries and the steps we can take to create them. So much pain and suffering would be avoided if we would all follow its precepts.

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Summary: God's Love Has No Boundaries Toward Us
Review: When you put up boundaries you not only keep people out but you keep yourself in as well. The ultimate trial of ones faith is to open the walls and deal with the hard, hurtful problems of relationships with remembering how God would have wanted you to deal with hard situations. With patience, love, prayer for guidance, and remembering the goodness each person posseses, try to focus on turning the problems into a good relationship. With so many people in counseling professionally, what is the ultimate reason people go and what is the ultimate goal of the counselor? It is to break down walls betweeen relationships, to teach kindness to one another and consideration. This book ultimately points to selecting boundaries around your life. Wow how easy that makes situations. But be careful what you wish for. Because the fulfillment of happiness is not in creating barriers and boundaries, but lifting them out of the way. The successful entrepreneur takes cant's and turns them into can dos. The successful Christian leaves boundaries down and barriers open for growth in their life experiences, good or bad, and growth in their spiritual walk with God because it is through challenges of your faith that make you a stronger individual not boundaries. Example: If I had put up boundaries everytime one of my parents, children, husband or close friends did some hurtful thing to me, is that solving the problem except to make me feel good? The real Christian challenge is in forgiving and moving on with life and in that way showing by example that forgiveness and love is God's ultimate way to solid happiness. The serendipity in this approach is that you lead by example and not by boundary display. Be careful you do not bind yourself up in boundaries that could be prevented. Be careful what you wish for, life is good by creating goodwill!

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Summary: Healing to Self & Relationships
Review: I had a problem saying No & becoming overwhelmed with my commitments. There were also numerous issues with my family of origin that I could not resolve. This book transformed my life. I learned my responsibility is to God 1st & how to order my life around His will. It was rough with my family, at first, but as I identified & held my boundaries, all my relationships were transformed bringing healing & joy to my family. I strongly recommend this book as it will bring healing to you & your relationships.

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Summary: Great insights
Review: Cloud and Townsend do an excellent job of helping point out the orgins of many of our "boundary-related" failures and wounds.

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Summary: Very Interesting Proscription
Review: I found it fascinating to see how this very interesting proscribing of control seems to be belief-based. Even though I am a religious person myself, I have read a book that deals with morals, ethics, and character called "West Point" that teaches the reason-based explanations of good behavior. Try it. Even the most devoutly religious person will find that it is acceptable and that it enhances what the authors are trying to teach us in their book, "Boundaries".

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Summary: Harmful stuff in the hands of the wrong people
Review: Unfortunately, many Evangelical Christians fall prey to the latest fad of this uncritical sub-culture. The latest fad is defining boundaries. While there may be some helpful ideas here, many are based on plain misapplications of biblical texts. Basically, you can make the bible say anything you want and this is what the authors have done. And in the hands of the misinformed or the self-righteous or the arm-chair therapist, the material here can be used as a legitimate grounds to abuse people psychologically and spiritually.

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Summary: Should be taught in schools...
Review: I wish I'd have been taught these concepts at a young age. It would have saved me years of anguish. This is just plain common sense, but in today's society, we don't learn this- we learn the opposite. I was able to attend Dr. Cloud's seminar, and I took away many golden nuggets I will remember and also teach to my kids.

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Summary: For Christians only
Review: As someone who is not a Christian I found this book to be basically incomprehensible. All of the concepts are couched in biblical quotes or Christian theology, and as a non-believer I could not glean from it general principles that would seem to apply to me. Without a thorough grounding in the Bible I think that this book just doesn't make sense. I would not recommend this book to a broad population, as it assumes that one's motivation for modifying behavior is based on the teachings of Christianity and interpretations of the Bible. I quite frankly didn't *understand* most of it and could not untangle many useful concepts from in between the numerous Bible quotes. I would not classify this as a work of psychology or a self-help book outside of a Christian context.

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Summary: Learn About Your Boundaries
Review: This is an excellent book on the subject of personal boundaries--why they are necessary, how to establish healthy boundaries, and how to maintain them. A must-read for anyone with "fuzzy boundaries." I recommend it frequently to my counseling clients.