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Summary: For anyone who has ever wanted to set even one boundary!
Review: I have worked as a jail chaplain for almost twenty years and this book has been both an inspiration and a clarifier. Not only is it important for me to set clear boundaries in the work place with inmates, but because of the nature of the work on my personal life, I've needed to set countless boundaries in my relationship with people who don't understand my love and concern for the incarcerated. I have asked all of my volunteers to read the book also because we've used it as a teaching tool for inmates, most of whom have never learned how to set boundaries. We have found it most helpful in dealing with battered and abused women, as well as those needing anger management. Because the text is filled with biblical principles, I believe it is in line with what God chooses for us, but allows us to make the choice for ourselves. Personally, I also have children and grandchildren and I'm using the guidelines to create a place of harmony in my home. Thank you, Drs. Cloud and Townsend for giving us a user friendly guide to boundaries and the happiness they give.
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Summary: Excellent Self-Help Guide for men & women of all ages
Review: I found Boundaries to be extremely helpful to me and my family. The authors point to Biblical references for boundary development & enforcement. The authors also illustrate real-life examples of people who have boundary issues and give practical advice on how to resolve conflicts in all relationships...parent-child, spouse-spouse, friend-friend, etc. I firmly believe that this book is vital for people who desire to have Godly, healthy relationships. When my children are mature enough to read & understand this book, I will definitely encourage them to read it. I believe that it will be helpful for my children as they prepare for adulthood and also as they begin searching for a mate. I highly recommend this book for everyone who is in the midst of relationship trials & tribulations.
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Summary: Avoiding Self-Depreciation Masquerading as Christian Living
Review: Perhaps the most helpful part of this book, in my opinion, is its expose of the many myths that well-meaning Christian believers have about the setting of boundaries. These include the implicit belief that good Christians are doormats who have no boundaries. Too many Christians mistakenly think that to set boundaries is to hurt someone, to be selfish or, in the case of leader-following relationships, to be nonsubmissive. When done correctly, and with the right spirit, it is nothing of this sort.
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Summary: Next to the Bible, the Best Book on Christian Relationships!
Review: Most Christians struggle with the demands and frustrations resulting from their everyday relationships. Cloud and Townsend have produced a true classic in this volume, presenting Biblical concepts that address those demands and frustrations. I have just finished reading this book again for the second time, and chances are good I will read it again in the future.The authors introduce their work with a short section entitled, "A Day in a Boundaryless Life." Most persons can easily identify with the young woman depicted in this typical life situation. The authors then describe the concept of boundaries in detail, and how boundaries are developed in our lives. They present ten laws of boundaries, and then proceed to describe common myths regarding them. These laws and myths, as well as the rest of the book's content, are very readable and easy to understand. In the second portion of their work, the authors touch upon the areas of life in which boundaries can be helpful. I cannot think of any area that is unaffected. These areas are: family, friends, spouse, children, work, self, and God. The authors conclude by describing typical resistance to boundaries. They also summarize the benefits to be gained as persons persevere through that resistance to a more ordered life. Before ending their book, Cloud and Townsend revisit the young woman depicted in the opening section. This time the title is, "A Day in a Life with Boundaries." She now has learned to incorporate boundaries into her own life, and the change for the better is amazing. This book is a must-read for every Christian believer who wants a wealth of Biblical insight into Christ-honoring relationships. I have recommended it to others in the past, and after this second reading am even more enthusiastic about doing so. Buy it, read it, and allow God to transform your relationships for the better!
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Summary: EXCELLENT!
Review: This book gives one the TOOLS to build healthy boundaries. It's a virtual Home Depot of psychology and living.
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Summary: A great guide to understanding and applying boundaries
Review: This book provided a clear and thourough exploration into the concept of boundaries. As a former member of a christian cult I found it a very helpful guide in healing and re-learning the concept of setting biblical boundaries. Many religions (and people in general) may be threatened by this concept because of their need to control others. Even if you do not consider yourself religious this book is a good guide for anyone who needs to understand and apply the concept of boundaries in their life.
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Summary: Excellent even with the "god" stuff
Review: This book dramatically changed my life and I only made it through chapter 5. I have since recommended it to many people that are looking to actively make positive changes in their lives. This book is obviously written for Christians but it is great for the non-believer as well. I'm an atheist and I just skipped over the religious dialogue and made parallels as best I could. They treat self-help as it should be treated. There are no "victims" in this book and no blame shifting. The authors make a strong point that change must come from within and only with strong personal conviction and action is it going to happen. Very powerful read.
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Summary: Is the Gospel about self-protection or serving?
Review: The subtitle says it all: this book is all about "taking control of your life." That such a phrase can be heralded as a genuine Christian goal should terrify us all. Where is the Church headed? Is the Gospel really about "taking control of your life"??? This book gives good, solid advice about how to take control of your life; how to protect yourself from folks who will seek to hurt or discourage you. But is that what Jesus wants for us? Is that 'taking up your cross daily'? When you read this, ask yourself: What do I mean by 'boundaries?' Is it a rule, a fence, to keep people from controlling you/violating your personhood? Do you think "I should get to shape my own identity, my choices, my will, my life, my emotion."? And is that a Biblical approach? Is the Bible really a self-help book? What is right about that: The Bible says there are places where you stop and start ('boundaries in that sense). It is wrong to allow other people to live as if they exist for themselves and not for God. You should call peopel to accounatbility when they do that, and try to involve you in that. BUT when you do that not to be protected, but to SERVE. Ask 'how does Scripture orient me differently or take me further?' The Bible says our focus must be on the heart - not self-help, not controlling others. Its all about changing my own motives. 'Boundaries,' the way Cloud and Townsend employ the term, is a negative and defensive concept. It is about self-protection. Tell that to the martyrs in Makulu, Indonesia, or Nigerian. They know the Gospel is much more wonderful, and much less self-absorbed, than that! Jesus' boundaries are love, not defensiveness. Yes, loving you may well mean saying no to you, prohibiting you, but the boundary is menat to be a means to love. The Gospel is NEVER about living defensively and creating walls, defending yourself to protect yourself. You can say 'yes' out of love, or you may say 'no' out of love. But it is all about loving others, serving. For example, a physically abused wife, should she call the police on her husband? Yes! But WHY? Is it because I have a 'right' to happiness and being protected? Or is it because she loves the one she has vowed to live with, and because she does she is going to stop him from hitting her? I can sympathize with the concerns of this book. Drs. Cloud and Townsend have lovingly sought to help some very hurting people. But the most helpful thing for us when we are under attack is not to assert our 'rights' and seek protection -- that never works anyway -- but to live the Gospel.
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Summary: Very good...
Review: 'Boundaries' is such an important and one of a kind christian masterpiece. Codependency presented from a christian perspective with lots of grounded scripture.
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Summary: Healthy boundaries are good with people and with books
Review: All books that claim to be Christian, as well as all books in the category of "self-help" must be approached with both an open mind and a fair amount of discernment. I personally found this book to be one of the better books I have read in both categories. Much of the information in it is practical and useful. I believe that it is bibically sound, but not so over the top that those who are not christian will be turned off by it. That in and of itself is noteworthy. I find it ironic that the negative reviews are not only extreme in their negativity, but passionate about their dislike for this book. It sounds to me like they need to actually read the book, or try reading it again with a more open mind. Those who can blame all that has gone wrong in their particular relationship on this book are definitely in need of some healthy boundaries themselves, as are the people around them I am sure. I know of at least 5 people personally, as well as myself, who found value in this book. Some more life changing than others, but still a good read either way.
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