Rating: 
Summary: Not as bad or as good as you've heard...
Review: What I noticed when I slogged through the customer reviews for this book, was that there are two distinct opposing camps. There is the four and five star "I loved it" camp, and the one or two star "Worst book I've ever read" camp. In my experience few books are that good... or that bad, so I was left wondering if the "I loved it" camp was comprised of friends and family, or if perhaps the "I hated it" camp was made up of scorned lovers and sworn enemies. Well, I bought this book (as well as "More Towels" by Grant Jarret, which was recommended by another reviewer). "Hollywood Animal" is not the worst book I've ever read, but I simply cannot believe anyone really thinks it is a great book either. It deserves perhaps two-and-a-quarter stars, two-and-a-half if you are feeling generous or if you don't do much reading. It is readable but uninspired. So I'm still left wondering who these reviewers are and what agendas they might have. I guess I'll never know. Surprisingly, Jarret's "More Towels," which I'd never heard of before, deserves a much higher score, maybe four-and-a-quarter or so in my opinion. But then I'm just another reader.
Rating: 
Summary: F Mike Ovitz and F Hollywood
Review: Any book that can keep someone with my short attention span glued to its pages has to be good. I don't know why anyone would dislike this memoir. Only uptight people, Mike Ovitz or one of Mike Ovitz's buddies should really have anything negative to say. These movies that bombed in the box office had very little to do with Joe's screenwriting ability.
Rating:
Summary: end of days
Review: I have read hundreds of books during the last two years and very few match the the quality that Joe delivers. Each paragraph is packed with interesting anecdotes regarding Hollywood and his rise to fame and fortune. The central theme that is rendered is Joe's unwavering adherence to the pursuit of truth . He is almost brutally honest with his readers which can be emotionally overwhelming. He is also a true artist when it comes to his use of language and in his ability to maintain our interest. This memoir is thoroughly interesting and well worth the time and money. I am already awaiting his next book or movie- that is if he survives his bout with cancer.
Rating: 
Summary: offensive sleazoid
Review: Joe eszterhas is a pig and mysogynist. be grateful that Joe can't get a screenwriting job in hollywood anymoredon't read this garbage. All joe does is boost his own ego, cuss, talk about sex, and talk trash about mike ovitz. Joe tries to make you feel sympathetic for him, by telling you about his rough childhood, but don't buy it for a second. He's still a sleazy pig.
Rating:
Summary: Too bad I had to give it one star
Review: We the public are to blame for people like Joe and Sharon and Sly. We pay our good money to go see their terrible movies. They laugh at us all the way to the bank. I wonder what Joe's first wife was talking about when he returned to her (for 27 seconds) and she ran through the house yelling...I won! I won! Won what? Him? Wears shorts and tank tops to meetings, sleeps with anything that moves, and doesnt speak to his old father for years. Won what Gerri? The booby prize? Take that $32,500 K a month and enjoy!
Rating:
Summary: Eszterhas explains Showgirls, Elizabeth Berkley, & Bad Press
Review: I always wanted to know about the mystery surrounding the SHOWGIRLS controversy. Don't get me wrong, my two favorite films are "Valley of the Dolls" & "Showgirls". All of the information you can ever get about "Showgirls" is from the "Saved by the Bell: E! true hollywood story", & the "Winsor Pilates" exercise info-mercial which has 15 seconds of Elizabeth Berkley discussing the dancing in Showgirls. But now comes insight from the Showgirls screen-writer himself, right from his own memoirs. Joe Eszterhas says that Elizabeth Berkley ruined Showgirls. In his book he talks about how he and his wife were both shocked when Elizabeth Berkley was running around naked on the set and was sleeping with Paul Verhoeven. She was even living with Paul Verhoeven! A quote from Gina Gershon is used, where she is saying that Elizabeth can't act, and she doesn't know what she's doing. Joe also talks about how he deals with the post-Showgirls bad press. He uses quotes made from critics that slandered him, and then gave explanation/commentary for each quote to talk about how they are un-true. Joe says that Showgirls could have been a good movie, if it weren't for Elizabeth Berkley, and that he originally wanted Sharon Stone, Madonna, and Drew Barrymore for the main roles in Showgirls. I loved this book. It is a tell-all book that dishes the dirt on EVERYONE in Hollywood. Joe talks about his one night stand with Sharon Stone. Joe Eszterhas gives GREAT explanation-exposition-commentary on the things that the public has no clue about. And he answers questions that have been bugging the movie-watching audience since Basic Instinct came out. Most informative (to me) was his Showgirls & An Alan Smithee Film, section because those two movies always puzzled me. Questions liked "Where did the name "Nomi Malone" come from?" & "How did he feel about the razzie awards?" & "Why was Elizabeth Berkley cast as Nomi?" Joe's life from childhood to adulthood are also written about. His transition from newspaper reporter to big-shot screen writer is very informative. Joe reveals some of his screen-writing tricks and inspirations/ideas from his own movies. My only complaint is that there is too much profanity that is used too casually. I would like to see more work (screenplays or books) from Joe Eszterhas. I highly recommmend this book.
Rating:
Summary: Just Like Shakespeare - But He Stole Cars in Cleveland
Review: One impressive thing about the book is that it is big and he mentions many many people in Hollywood. But when you read this book and think about how well it is selling it does not add up. Here is a rough character, a very rough character, that substitutes profanity and vulgarity for writing skills and presents a hodge podge of his stories from his Hollywood days, all strung together as a book. It leaves one in a daze - trying to follow and appreciate the ways in which he tries to tell stories - with a combination of diaries and quotations sometimes resorting to what one might call screen plays instead of coherent writing. It is sort of a "Hulk Hogan" does Shakespeare from a trailer park. If you want to buy this book, go to a bookstore first, and sit down and read one or two chapters then maybe buy. 2 stars, maybe 3...Jack in Toronto
Rating: 
Summary: Screaming and Crying
Review: This book reads like a screaming and crying tantrum by a spoiled Hollywood baby who tasted success and now is angry that it was taken away. It needs more of a sense of humor like My Fractured Life. If not more humor, then at least egomania. The information is good, but the "voice" is too angry for me.
Rating:
Summary: No Redeeming Value
Review: Don't bother buying this book; if you MUST read it, get it from the library, but be aware that there are NO admirable people in this book. In fact, it's a pretty depressing look at what I always thought Hollywood was like: the adultery; the lost children; the drugs; the alcohol. It's just a sad story about sad, lost people. I know the author prides himself on having moved back to Cleveland, to his roots; however, I don't think his presence improves Cleveland in any way. As a person of Hungarian ancestry, I'm disheartened by what he has done with his life--professionally and personally.
Rating:
Summary: How do you write a life?
Review: In reading this memoir, I am reminded of the brutally honest autobiography of Elia Kazan. Telling the world who you are, how you see yourself, and acknowledging to the world that "I know how you see me," is one of the most challenging feats in writing. I can imagine it would be a daunting task to edit. Much of Hollywood Animal gives us what we would expect for Eszterhas. It is sensual. It is graphic. It has twists, turns, and shock value. At any given point, you are not sure where your loyalties stand. Do you want to rescue the poor immigrant child from the horrors of the refugee camps, or turn your back on the man who betrays a friend, a wife, a family? Or do you admire the man who risked his career, his entire world to find true love? It's hard to believe that this could all be in one book. If it was a movie, it surely would have been rejected by a studio because, "no one would believe it." But one has to assume that it is true. Yes, there are the juicy details, the gossip and the innuendo. You can't tell a truthful tale about Hollywood without it. despite the book's length, it flows in a way that catapults you into his world...and refuses to let go of you- even when you've put the book down. That's the sign of great writing--but the sign of a brilliant editor. So Mr. Editor, whoever you are...you deserve some serious accolades.
It's a great book whether or not you care about Eszterhas as a person. But I dare you not to care about him by the end.
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