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Summary: It is the worst book I have ever owned.
Review: I read the reviews at Amazon.com before buy any book. Usually, I have pretty good luck if the general review comments are positive. But this time around. I was cheated.The worst thing I dislike is that it streches an one page contents into five or ten pages. If you want to read something about interpersonal communications, I suggest you to check out Dale Carnegie's master pieces. This book is a waste of your money and time in my opinion. Good luck.
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Summary: If You Like Dr. Phil, You'll Love Crucial Conversations
Review: I began reading "Crucial Conversations" with a great deal of skepticism. I had previously read a number of other books in the genre, and always felt them less than filling -- too much theory and too little practical advice. In fact, the only self-help book that I had read in recent years that was remotely helpful was Dr. Phil McGraw's "Self Matters." But as good as that book is, I still found it a bit lacking in direction. I was looking for something more. And I found it in "Crucial Conversations." The book was simple to read, clear of psychobabble jargon, and straight to the point. More than anything, the book made an enormous amount of sense. I had known for along time that my personal and professional conversations were less successful than they should have been, but I didn't know why. By clearly delineating the requirements for a successful, mutually beneficial conversation, "Crucial Conversations" identified for me the key steps that I needed to take on my own to hold more successful conversations in which both the other party and I could find a way to achieve at least some of what we wanted. Even more than that, "Crucial Conversations" helped me to understand why so much of what other people said during emotionally charged conversations bothered me. It's impossible, of course, to change someone else's behavior, but by understanding the reasons for what they say, I have found it possible to alter my own behavior to make it safer for them to converse in a mutually beneficial way. Most interesting, I thought, was the way in which "Crucial Conversations" highlights the way in which most of us quickly resort to either silence or violence in conversations. Just by naming these behaviors, the book can make each of us more conscious of the way we current converse with others -- and of how we should talk if we want to get more of what we want. I can honestly say that "Crucial Conversations" has made a night-and-day difference in my ability to communicate effectively with others. I strongly recommend it to anyone who finds his or her conversations with those closest to them less satisfying than they might like. A true life-changer!
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Summary: A solid formula for safe productive conversations
Review: Crucial Conversations emphasizes SAFETY in difficult conversations -- and I enjoyed every page. My ex was volatile and I was often stymied when he started yelling over the slightest thing. Had I attended to safety rather than slogging at getting my point across, our conversations could have been more productive. I recommend this book highly and another book which totally enhanced my life called Optimal Thinking--How to Be Your Best Self. Optimal Thinking gave me the tool to be my BEST no matter what I face and to make the most of every situation. Both of these books are ground breaking classics.
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Summary: These techniques really work!
Review: I bought this book after undergoing a first, miserable mediation session with my soon-to-be-exhusband. The stakes are high--it's our property settlement, and my husband had been cashing out the savings and spending them, while leaving me to take care of the 2 mortgages and other obligations. It was easy, but not very productive, to point out where I felt he was wrong. I started reading Crucial Conversations and using the tools as well as I could, while watching our mediator model them. I stopped participating in the accuse/counter-accuse game, and focused on bringing information to the table, while I used the crucial conversation tools to keep our discussions productive. The book starts out with a self-assessment to determine your own communications strengths and weaknesses. My biggest faux-pas with my husband was to cause Respect violations. The CC tools gave me a usable set of actions to take to set things back on track:
* Apologize (I'm sorry if that sounded disrespectful.)
* Contrast (I don't want to make you out to be the bad guy, I'm just concerned that I won't have any funds left to cover the emergencies.)
* CRIB
- Commit to seek mutual purpose (I'll stay in this process as long as it takes for us to reach agreement.)
- Recognize the purpose behind his strategy (It's understandable that you're unhappy with our situation and that you're trying to do something to feel better.)
- Invent a mutual purpose (I want us both to be happy and secure after the divorce.)
- Brainstorm new strategies (Maybe we can just focus on the numbers for now, and put off worrying about how we're going to divide things until later. Using these tools has kept the dialogue moving forward, and we're very close to agreement, after just two more sessions. The Crucial Conversations tools won't change another person who's determined to be unreasonable into a perfectly cooperative person, but they will give you a sane way to stay in dialogue and still hold the other person accountable for his or her own irrational attitudes and behavior. I think this book is a must-have for anyone who has had a hard time dealing with conflict. I'll be reaching for it again, I know.
Rating:
Summary: Outstanding!
Review: The book presents a wonderful - detailed, substantiated, exemplified, and backed by common sense - guide on how to make your point in a persuasive yet non-confrontational way. A powerful set of tools!
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Summary: Best of the "Conversations" books
Review: Of the three books with similar titles: Difficult Conversations, Fierce Conversations, and Crucial Conversations, I find this the best by a longshot. Fierce Conversations is a great read and a real pick-me-up, but it was more of an oh-yeah-i-should-do-that "reminder" than it was a wellspring of new insights. I'm sure the author would be an outstanding 1:1 coach, but the book didn't leave me with as much of a useful/memorable framework as did Crucial Conversations. Difficult Conversations, by comparison, is heavy on frameworks, research, theory -- but it ends up reading like a dissertation. Though I'm an avid reader, I found it difficult to get through. I found the other Harvard Negotiation Project volumes much more accessible -- e.g., Getting To Yes, Getting Past No, etc. Crucial Conversations is for me the happy medium between the two. It has the right balance of analysis, frameworks, and coaching. It's very accessible yet deep where it needs to be. It also carries a Coveyesque tone that any Seven Habits fan will find refreshing. Certainly you can't go wrong reading all three of these books. But if I had to choose one, I'd go with Crucial Conversations.
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Summary: Cheap Knock-Off of "Difficult Conversations"
Review: This book tries to put itself on a par with "Difficult Conversations", but it's not even in the same league. Where "Difficult Conversations" was rigorous and based on years of research, discussion and application, this shoddy knock-off was just written off the top of the authors' heads. Don't waste your time or your money. Go straight to the source: Difficult Conversations.
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Summary: Good stuff you can use
Review: Who doesn't struggle with communication? I've been able to put this book to use at work and at home because this book breaks down basic steps in order to assert yourself in communication, while still allowing the person you're attempting to communicate with the ability to feel safe and communicate too.
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Summary: Packed with Knowledge!
Review: Wanna argue? Nope. Then you need Kerry Patterson and his co-writers, who describe techniques for effective negotiation and conflict resolution in the context of important, potentially life-changing conversations. Examples include talking yourself into a promotion, bringing up important information at meetings and working out problems with your spouse. Some tips will sound familiar, such as knowing what you really want and being open to alternatives. However, the book also highlights some themes that are often forgotten in negotiations, such as making it safe for others to express their true feelings and desires. The authors explain how to avoid getting forced into false either-or choices and tell you how to remain alert for unstated alternatives or possibilities. This lively book includes many examples drawn from business and personal relationships. We from getAbstract recommend it in particular to those are new to negotiations and conflict resolution, though it teaches solid skills that any manager - or any marriage partner, for that matter - could benefit from mastering.
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Summary: Nothing new for me here
Review: I picked up this book because it was endorsed by Dr. Stephen Covey, author the "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." After I read the vignettes and tips on communicating through difficult situations, I asked myself "What did I learn here?" My answer was "Nothing!" Three months ago, I read another book Dr. Covey endorsed called "Optimal Thinking--How to Be Your Best Self by Dr. Rosalene Glickman, which I found to be far superior. Optimal Thinking shows the reader how to optimize oneself and then, how to optimize others. The reader is provided with specific, simple roadmaps which can be used to optimize every situation.
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