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Summary: DIIFICULT CONVERSATIONS is smart, helpful, and down-to-earth
Review: When you read a lot of self-help books and proposals, as I do, you sometimes feel as if everyone has the same thing to say. What makes DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS such an important and useful book is that the it gives you the benefit of more than ten years of research with the ideas and methods presented in the book. As part of the workshops presented by the Harvard Negotiation Program, the authors have tested and refined their insights about why we have trouble with certain kinds of conversations and what really works to get through those stumbling blocks. The authors are very smart, but also very down-to-earth -- and so is DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS.I think that you'll find that Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen have written a book that is easy to relate to, easy to use (even when the conversation you are facing is not so easy), and very reassuring (since they point out why and where so many of us often trip up as we confront our own difficult conversations). I know I've found the ideas in the book have helped me a lot!
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Summary: Better Outcomes for Difficult Conversations
Review: "Delivering a difficult message is like throwing a hand grenade." For that matter, receiving a difficult message is like catching one. This book deals with the essential dilemma of communicating about unpleasant issues. The Harvard Negotiation Project's Doug Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen create an analytical framework by pointing out that each difficult conversation has three components: the factual narrative (least important), or the "What Happened?" Conversation, the Feelings Conversation, and the Identity Conversation. How each person perceives the Three Conversations will affect the course of the conversation. Insight after insight about how to turn a difficult conversation into a Learning Conversation unfold in this very solid book. I liked this book so much I bought a personal copy (now battered) after reading our public library's copy. Anyone who deals with clients, customers, friends or family can benefit from the structures in this book.
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Summary: "A Dangerous book in the hands of morons"! (NY, USA)
Review: Well the reviewer has got a great sense of humour! I was laughing my a*se off! It sems so many people do not practice what they preach. This guy's bosses whoever they are or were seem to have 'lost the plot'. Isn't it strange that the 'Golden Rule' in business I was taught is not often used. It is as my Mum still says, "Do as you would be done by". Very simple but common sense is not usually common action! My invitation to this person is please make contact with me as I have some questions I'd like the writer to answer before I buy the book! Dear Amazon.com, can you arrange that? Give the writer my e-mail address please.
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Summary: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most
Review: Stone and his coauthors, teachers at Harvard Law School and the Harvard Negotiation Project, present an informative, practical guide to the art of handling difficult conversationsÄe.g., firing an employee, ending a relationship, or discussing marital conflicts. The information is based on 15 years of research and thousands of personal interviews. The authors define a difficult conversation as "anything you find it hard to talk about." Each chapter recommends step-by-step techniques that can lead to a more constructive approach for dealing with distressing interactions, so that a difficult conversation can become a learning conversation. Examples of right and wrong conversations from everyday life are used throughout the book, which is extremely well organized and easy to follow. This will be appreciated by readers who wish to improve oral communication in all aspects of their daily lives. Recommended for self-help collections in public and academic libraries
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Summary: Concepts and techniques that work
Review: I find this book to be helpful because I have had a life-long struggle with difficult conversations. The section about understanding what is said and unsaid is a key piece of information which has given me greater awareness. The procedures require commitment and practice. Don't expect to get it right the first time or every time. I put an extra piece of information into practice every few days. I would also recommend another book, Crucial Conversations for another perspective on emotionally charged conversations, and Optimal Thinking: How To Be Your Best Self to learn how to make the most of any situation.
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Summary: This book could save countless marriages
Review: This is an exceptional book. Not since picking up Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" over 10 years ago have I come across a book that is destined to have great impact on both myself and millions of other readers. In essence "Difficult Conversations" is a practical everyday guide for living and breathing Stephen's fifth habit - "Seek first to understand then to be understood". It can be thought of as a "conversational handbook" - applicable in both your personal and business lives. Recently married couples, parents of teenage children and newly appointed managers will find the book especially powerful. The concepts are simple and if internalised could for eaxmple save the needless destruction of countless marriages. What excites me most is that it is so very readable and that its lessons are sufficiently simple that although it might take a life time to master - when applied you can see results in your own conversations and relationships immediately. Although I've yet to find any reference to the discipline of "dialogue" (as developed by the physicist David Bohm) in the book - it falls squarely within this subject area.
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Summary: Figuring out your life's history
Review: This is an absolutely incredible book. I bought it as a required textbook for a graduate course. I was somewhat skeptical when the professor said that previous students ended up buying several copies of the book to give as Christmas presents. But she was right! The book is truly transformational, not only in how you can resolve current issues but in helping analyze what happened in the past.
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Summary: Great resource for coaches
Review: Being a new corporate coach, I am always looking for resources to use and share with clients. This book has proven to be a very valuable reference personally and professionally. In fact it is becoming somewhat dog-eared from use. The insights and models have been useful for my (sometimes difficult)conversations with clients. Additionally, I share the techniques with clients and ask questions based on the book to help guide the client's development with having better conversations. Conversations are at the heart of all relationships, and are often overlooked in leadership development. For those who are ready to make some significant shifts in their leadership and relationship skills, or help others do so, this book is a great tool.
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Summary: Concepts and techniques that work
Review: The stuff in this book should be obvious to most reasonable people. If you're having problems at this level, you still have a long way to go in terms of dealing with truly difficult situations. Seeing so many people liking books like this gets me worried... (Is it just me who feels like I'm back in kindergarten when I take these corporate self improvement classes (come on, be honest now).) If you can generally gather the gumption to talk with people through awkward issues, this book will not help. My really difficult issues in life are with severely complexed people who are either defensive to the point of being anti-social or with those who never learned the skill to listen. You know people like this, right? Their bad behavior inevitably drives away their friends and they often have trouble with their other family members. I'm not saying that I'm always in the right when having difficult conversations with people like this. What I struggle with is dealing with really hard headed people, and this book only belabors obvious points like "there are two sides to every story" and "you have to try to stay reasonable if you care to get through". Everything in the book is good, if that's what you want to learn about. I just found it too obvious, and it assumes the case where the other person is a relatively well adjusted person.
Rating:
Summary: "A Dangerous book in the hands of morons"! (NY, USA)
Review: Well the reviewer has got a great sense of humour! I was laughing my a*se off! It sems so many people do not practice what they preach. This guy's bosses whoever they are or were seem to have 'lost the plot'. Isn't it strange that the 'Golden Rule' in business I was taught is not often used. It is as my Mum still says, "Do as you would be done by". Very simple but common sense is not usually common action! My invitation to this person is please make contact with me as I have some questions I'd like the writer to answer before I buy the book! Dear Amazon.com, can you arrange that? Give the writer my e-mail address please.
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