Love Must Be Tough

Rating:
Summary: How to love when it's not fun
Review: Dr. Dobson deals with another everyday issue that many of us don't know how to deal with. How to say no to the ones we love.

I read this book when I was dealing with an unfaithful wife. Everything I had said hold on to her and "force" her to come back. Dr. Dobson recommended giving freedom since in the end no one can force another into staying in a relationship. He also deals with rebellious children which is basically the same thing as a wayward spouse. Sometimes NO is the answer. Yes you have the freedom to act that way but NO I will not tolerate you acting that way toward me. Yes you have the freedom to leave, but, NO I will not be here when you get back. Yes you have the freedom to commit adultery, but, NO I will not stay married to you if you choose that route. Yes you have the freedom to stay out all night, but, NO you cannot live here and continue to practice that behavior.

A lot of the advice Dobson gives is common sense, that some of us can't see! ! when we are in the middle of those emotional situations that require us to think logically.

I highly recommend this book.

Rating:
Summary: Excellent!
Review: Dr. Dobson feels like a friend throughout the entire book. The book is pure common sense, advice we would more than likely give to those we love when we see they are headed down a destructive path but when we live it, it seems our emotions take over and we lose sight of these wise words. I loved this book because of the plan he gives you in order to respect yourself and others to bring those you love closer to you and most importantly making you feel good about yourself when your heart is broken and you feel nothing but despair, this book offers guidance, a plan and hope. I feel in reading this you instantly gain respect for yourself but you need to keep reading it and seriously live it. Its tough. I am single and dating and this book relates mainly to spouses but it totally applied to me, my life and my circumstances in a relationship I was in. My mantra is something I took from this book and I tell myself and friends constantly "CONFIDENCE IS KEY". Th! is book is a must have, it truly offers healing of the soul.

Rating:
Summary: great advice if you can get past the religious stuff
Review: I bought this book because the subject matter intrigued me. Even though I knew going in that the book was written from a fundamentalist Christian perspective (which did not appeal to me, being an atheist), I thought I'd give it a try anyway. I'm glad I did. Once you strip away all the religious mumbo-jumbo, what remains is very solid advice that is useful for everyone, single or married, in a stable or rocky relationship, Christian or not. Basically, what Dobson is saying is that relationships are founded on respect, and when that respect starts to erode, the relationship starts to disintegrate. If this disintegration hasn't progressed too far, the relationship can often be saved if the disrespected party starts standing up for his or her rights. I came to the very same conclusions myself after several bad experiences -- it's amazing how quickly someone's respect for you will skyrocket once you stop letting them abuse you. This should be common knowledge for everyone, but it isn't, and thus Dobson's book fills a valuable niche. It's too bad that there isn't a similar book without the heavy religious sermonizing; I think that a lot of people who could benefit from reading this book will be so turned off by this that they won't give it a chance. My suggestion: hold your nose and keep reading -- there's lots of good advice in here if you persevere.

Rating:
Summary: This book confused me
Review: I think that this book and philosophy would work for some people, but not for me. I especially did not like what he said at the end of the book. He encouraged people to take back their cheating spouses, even if they can't trust them again. And forgive me if I am wrong, but isn't taking back someone who is mistreating you, even if that person changes, showing that you don't have self-respect?

Rating:
Summary: One book that every couple should read
Review: James Dobson is a genious when it comes to understanding relationships and bucking polically correct conventional wisdom. This book is full of suggestions and points that most people will probably not want to hear but need to hear. That is why love must be tough.

The examples used in this book cover a wide variety of situations. Dr. Dobson give the perfect suggestion for each.

Rating:
Summary: This book saved my marriage
Review: My husband began having an affair with a co-worker but I only suspected something was amiss. I eventually did get confirmation of this. During this time of suspiscion (sp?), I had been reading books on how to improve my marriage and how I should be treating my husband. I tried those techniques and he said basically, "Too late, anything you do might just backfire." He moved out then filed for divorce. Then I heard about this book and thought I might as well give it a try too... after I'd been reading lots about affairs and such. I followed this book to the letter. Thank you so much Dr. Dobson. You helped save my marriage. My husband said one of the reasons he came back was a letter I sent to him - suggested from this book. He was gone 8 long weeks before he decided that this divorce wasn't what he really wanted. I know if it hadn't been for this book, he might've eventually come home (maybe), but I'm not so sure. Please get this book. You will not be disappointed. I told my husband that the day he called me wanting to see me, I'd been praying constantly that he'd come to his senses. He said he heard it loud and clear. We are not even religious people, but it worked...!

Rating:
Summary: EXCELLENT CHRISTIAN HELP FOR MARRIAGES IN CRISIS!
Review: Thank you Dr. Dobson for writing the perfect book for marriages in crisis! While my husband wasn't having an affair with another woman, he WAS having an affair with drugs and irresponsibility. Your book helped me kick him out and he was forced to hit bottom. I am proud to say that he quickly learned what he was going to lose and has changed his life for the better. As a Christian, it was very hard to swallow the act of separation (and possibly divorce). Through prayer, God does change things! Read this book if you have a spouse who is being disrespectful! It will change your life for the better.

Rating:
Summary: if Adultery is the problem......
Review: This is a great book if the problem is an extramarital affair. I am a Christian and I do believe allot of what he says....but most marriages are not as cut and dry as his examples and few, very few I suspect, are as wonderful as his own. When the problems seem insurmontable is when a person becomes open to an affair, and I would have liked to have seen more about how to prevent that slow decline from happening in the first place. Just saying that you should demand more respect is not very helpful!

Rating:
Summary: it worked exactly the first time
Review: This is a very interesting book, and Dobson's views are clearly based on Biblical principles. In his tough love approach, he outlines the way someone should deal with a spouse who has cheated on them. Although the temptation will be there to try to win back the person with affection, Dobson illustrates this is 180 degrees away from the best approach - very counter-intuitive to most folks. However, Dobson gives no guarantees, as even the "best approach" may be destined to failure.

I highly encourage anybody going through marital crisis to read this book, but not share it with your spouse.

Rating:
Summary: Not just for the desperate
Review: Whether or not you are in a relationship this is a great book. It shares some very important principals on how to maintain self-respect in a romantic relationship, while also maintaining Christ's loving attitude. This book is empowering...it empowers the reader to trust God, and to trust his/her own ability to be strong.
A great book for men or women, singles, dating, or married couples!