Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

Rating:
Summary: Neither love nor logic
Review: The general approach of using natural consequences to teach children responsibility is a good one, but must be tempered by common sense. As others here have noted, I found some of the applications of natural consequences taken to extremes that were both abusive and dangerous. Also the tone of this entire book is that of using manipulative and often mean-spirited tricks to control children without working to develop a deep understanding of the real "why" for doing things a particular way. The comparisons to dog training (Basic German Shepherd) are particularly appalling. Likewise, spanking has been shown to be ineffective as a disciplinary method, since the main thing that it teaches kids is that overpowering and hitting people is an acceptable way to solve conflicts. Although discipline must initially be about controlling children's behavior (so that they are safe), it should ultimately be much more about teaching them to internalize the "why" of societal rules, so that they can develop into empathetic, kind, thoughtful adults.

For a much more balanced view, try instead: "The Preschool Years" by Ellen Galinsky and Judy David


Rating:
Summary: Stop enabling: Teach responsibility with love and logic
Review: This book provides sound parenting philosophy and easy to use guidelines to apply it. As a teacher, it is clear to me which students have been raised with loving and logical parents. So many parents confuse love with protection. Parenting with love and logic means allowing your kids to make choices ... and sometimes mistakes. Some may object to the "Basic German Shepard" tactics or the idea that claims that spanking is sometimes alright. Use what you wish from the book. I have never spanked my child, nor do I order him around like a dog. To avoid a power struggle with my son who didn't want to put on his clothes or coat for a 5 minute ride home from my sister's house, I used Love and Logic principles. On a cold January evening in Michigan I carried him to the car in his underwear. Moments later, he said, "I'm cold." I simply kept driving and said, ... Perhaps next time you will make a different choice?" A natural instinct would be to cover him up and protect him from the cold. He was not injured in any way. By sticking to the principle, however, he learned two very important lessons: 1) mom is not kidding around, and 2) it's smart to wear your clothes and a coat. Since that evening, we have not struggled to get dressed. Try it!

Rating:
Summary: It's like having a friend with advice at your fingertips!
Review: This book was a gift given to me by a professional in the field of child behavior. This book really does help me keep an open mind about my children and offers tools that help a parent cope with a problem instead of just blowing up. As parents we all have to decide how to handle each and every situation as each is different, but this book gives guidelines how to respond in alternate ways to a variety of problems encountered with children. My favorite is the "defiant" child chapter and let me tell you...the advice given there really does work with my kids! It's amazing.

Rating:
Summary: My husband is actually reading a book!
Review: We have both been reading & has really helped us talk about how we can get on the same page as far as parenting. Less bickering between us about how to discipline kids.