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Summary: The amazing power of choices, and other parenting tips
Review: Basically, this book is about how to create a positive learning environment for our children, by giving them control of non-essential choices designed to be the desired outcome regardless of which choice they choose. It also provides some great insight into how to create a trusting and positive environment while teaching some positive habits.My wife read this book first and I noticed an immediate change in how she reacted to our rather headstrong two-year old. Staying calm, and giving choices like: Do you want to have milk before you go to bed, or juice? This instead of the battle on whether or not she was going to bed. We find ourselves laughing at some of the absurd choices we come up with, and it's harder than it appears to consistently think this way. What is easy to see is that it works, and works well. Some of our biggest battles over dressing, or going to bed, or eating dinner have become much easier and the "uh-oh" said calmly has stopped some poor behavior in its tracks! While we both embrace the fact that testing the limits is a natural and healthy way for young children to learn, this book gave some great insights on how to facilitate and not discourage that type of learning, and yet still teach the right behaviors. I was not thrilled with the overall editing and layout of the book, as it jumped around a bit, and half-way through would say things like: This may not work for children under three! OK, this is information we could have used four chapters ago when the authors were making a point we were attempting to follow. That minor complaint notwithstanding, this is an excellent book and is highly recommended for all parents with young children.
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Summary: One star short of perfection....
Review: Every chapter in the book starts with a scripture in Proverbs. The author's insight into parenting issues is likely inspired by God and yet they turn away from one of the main training tools for rebellious behavior supported by Scripture. This tool is chastisement or spanking. (Please note that I am not talking about spanking for all disruptive or maladaptive behavior but behavior that manifests itself as rebellion). The author's allege that "empathy and logical consequences are more powerful than spanking, because they teach problem solving skills." I disagree with this quote. I would say that chastisement with empathy and logical consequences results in repentance and problem solving skills. My point is chastisement (spanking) done in love and in a logical way aligns with the Word of God. This change in position reflects a postmodern view of parenting that is contrary to scripture and probably accounts for the relatively inexplicable growth of these excellent techniques in today's society. The author's state that one of the reasons they changed their position on spanking (chastisement) is because spanking fails to teach the behaviors we want. This position implies that spanking is a teaching tool. Spanking is not a teaching tool. Spanking is a punishment. Teaching is done through the use of empathy and logical consequences. This position is disingenuous. The third point the author's make is that "most kids would rather receive a spanking than have to think about their poor choice." This statement is so sad. As was noted previously, spanking should not be used as a teaching tool as spanking is a punishment. Teaching occurs through the use of empathy and consequences as is masterfully explained in the book. Nevertheless, a spanking does not inhibit a child from thinking about poor choices. In fact, once repentance is demonstrated a child will logically begin to think, "how will this next decision affect me?" The fourth point regarding the efficacy of spanking is double sad. They note "that more recent research tells us that spanking has many negative side effects, such as anger, resentment, revenge, etc." Of course, not even a single research article is cited to support this claim. In fact, a recent article by, June 2002, entitled "A Comparison of Two Recent Reviews of Scientific Studies of Physical Punishment by Parents" contradicts the aforementioned claim and shows that "detrimental child outcomes are associated with the frequency of any disciplinary tactic, not just physical punishment. Therefore, it is the excessive misbehavior that is the actual cause of detrimental outcomes in children." In summary, current research suggests that any technique used to correct children has negative side effects and that misbehavior is the cause of a child's negative responses to discipline. The tenet of this article is children negatively perceive any form of consequence for misbehavior. Wow, what a surprise!
Rating: 
Summary: Humane and realistic parenting with lots of love!
Review: I have been reading parenting books for years. I read this book completely. As the adult child of an alcohol and drug councilor with 3 young children, I have taken great interest in therapy and communication techniques. I don't generally offer my opinion in reviews but I felt that this book should receive the credit that it is due. The focus of this book is to help your child to eventually become an unusually functional and mentally healthy adult. It makes a humorous, but truthful analogy of the learning patterns of very young (2 and under) children to that of dogs. It explains why, unlike a dog, children must begin to think for themselves and how to help them do that. It recognizes that some parents use corporal punishment, explains why this is sometimes effective and how to use it to the least detriment of the child, but over all discourages it and offers alternative methods of discipline. The book teaches how parents can assist instead of disrupting the child's natural process of learning. Permit a child the consequences of their own mistakes when they are young and they will learn not to make big, life changing mistakes when they are adults. Become a friend and respected confidant to your child whose opinion he respects. There are excellent, real life accounts of how to apply the techniques. Most teachers will recognize the authors names. The authors are well known and highly acclaimed in the educational field and have raised responsible, successful children themselves.
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Summary: Choices!
Review: I haven't finished reading this book yet, but have already started implementing choices for my 10 year old daughter (it was recommended to me by her therapist). This morning, we again reminded our daughter that Christmas is soon, she has to allow time for mailing, and she really needs to get her Christmas projects/presents done. So today, I told her, you don't have to do them if you don't want to. I know it's stressing you out, you're not into it, it's taking away from your free time, you don't have to do it. I will just call everyone you're making presents for, tell them you're not exchanging gifts this year, and they don't have to get you a present, either. It's really your choice. It's okay with me whatever you decide.
Another example is her room. I asked her to clean it. I told her, if this is really upsetting you and you don't want to clean it, that's okay. I will take all the stuff you don't want to pick up and remove it from your room. You won't ever have to worry about it again. You won't have to clean it up. And this desk with all the stuff piled up on it? If you don't want to keep it cleaned off, I can remove it, too. You don't have to pick up your room if you don't want to. It's your choice.
I LOVE this choices thing!
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Summary: POWER STRUGGLES FROM ONE GENERATION TO THE NEXT
Review: I strongly recommend this parenting approach and book for anyone seeking to find help with one or more children with mood disorders, any type of addiction, identity issues, self-esteem issues, reoccurring unresolved anger and troubling growing up relationship issues. Excellent compliments to this book are: The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen; Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss and James Masterson; Emotional Blackmail: When People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier; The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman; Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson; Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man by Scott Wetzler; Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin and Lidija Rangelovska (Editor); Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown; Treating Attachment Disorders: From Theory to Therapy by Karl Heinz Brisch and Kenneth Kronenberg; Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job by Alan Cavaiola and Neil Lavender; Bully in Sight: How to Predict, Resist, Challenge and Combat Workplace Bullies by Tim Field. And if you want to pursue the subject even further, you may be interested in reading The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple: A Psychoanalytic Perspective On Marital Treatment; Addicted to Unhappiness: Free yourself from the moods and behaviors that undermine relationships, work and the life you want by Martha Heineman Pieper and William Pieper
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Summary: BUY THIS BOOK!!!
Review: I was introduced to "Love & Logic" at a professional development seminar for teachers. I started using the principles in my classroom and eliminated so many of the struggles. I decided to buy the parenting book (this book) for my sister when she gave birth to my nephew. I ended up reading the whole thing, too, and have implemented many suggestions when I babysit for her. My nephew, who is only 2-1/2, is now a master at making choices and understanding that he doesn't get to make all the choices. He recently wanted to buy lemonade and chocolate milk at the store. I told him he had to choose...no muss, no fuss, he chose and put the lemonade back in the cooler. He has been making choices for himself since before he could walk, and I fully believe that the empowerment this book, this system, brings to kids helps them make the really big, important choices later in life. I've used the principles in the classroom and with all my nieces and nephews. They feel like they have control and options while understanding that there are consequences for bad decisions. My husband and I are the favorite aunt and uncle...and we have fewer problems when watching the kids than anyone else. They're happy, we're happy. What more could you want? Do yourself and your child's future teachers a favor and BUY THIS BOOK! I've got my copy ready for my daughter on the way.
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Summary: Turns a difficult kid into an easy kid
Review: Love and Logic makes it possible to stay calm and loving with a difficult child. I'm almost 50 yrs old and had no experience with children. I started doing foster care and I can't imagine what trouble I'd have been in without all the Love and Logic techniques. They work with defiance, and with tantrums, and with controlling manipulative behavior. They make it possible to enjoy being a mom, and the major benefit is the children can relax, be respectful, accept love, and have fun instead of miring themselves in adversarial control battles with me.
It does require a large amount of self-control, not taking offense at things, and being able to be loving when a kid is being very annoying, and being able to be sadly firm when the kid has gotten themselves in trouble and you would really love to rescue them instead of letting them learn.
The book by itself is good, but if complimented with listening to the many audio-tapes, is much better.
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Summary: Overwhelmed with too much parenting information?
Review: Parenting doesn't have to be an ongoing and overwhelming struggle. You can raise remarkable children who are capable, confident, responsible, and compassionate. You can have a family that is connected and resilient. Parents are often overwhelmed with too little and then too much information. Parents worry that they are losing control over the influences on their children. They struggle to balance the demands of raising children in today's fast paced, high pressured times. Parents experience conflict over differences in parenting styles and pressure from the advice and expectations of others.
This book offers some great information. When you've found that information is often not enough, parent coaching can help.
Rating: 
Summary: Not for my family
Review: Parenting with love and Logic was extremely disappointing to me. I am in the process filling out adoption paperwork for a special needs child. the ideas of (as examples stated in this book) putting my child in the basement when they are having a tantrum and harming themselves, or of denying my child supper because he neglected to feed the cat by 5 PM (on the basis of "Mommy feeds 3 mouths. Since you didn't feed the cat, tonight those 3 mouths are Mommy, Daddy and the cat) are appalling. Many examples involved enlisting friends who would be willing to follow your children home after you put them out of the car, were willing to stay overnight at your home (after your child's waking you up in the middle of the night prompted you and your spouse to go to a hotel) or to hang around the store/mall waiting to see if your child would misbehave, so you could call them and have them take the child home. This book operates on the assumption that children are "Miniature Adults" and if that's your theory as well, perhaps this book will be of value to you.
Rating:
Summary: Not for my family
Review: Parenting with love and Logic was extremely disappointing to me. I am in the process filling out adoption paperwork for a special needs child. the ideas of (as examples stated in this book) putting my child in the basement when they are having a tantrum and harming themselves, or of denying my child supper because he neglected to feed the cat by 5 PM (on the basis of "Mommy feeds 3 mouths. Since you didn't feed the cat, tonight those 3 mouths are Mommy, Daddy and the cat) are appalling. Many examples involved enlisting friends who would be willing to follow your children home after you put them out of the car, were willing to stay overnight at your home (after your child's waking you up in the middle of the night prompted you and your spouse to go to a hotel) or to hang around the store/mall waiting to see if your child would misbehave, so you could call them and have them take the child home. This book operates on the assumption that children are "Miniature Adults" and if that's your theory as well, perhaps this book will be of value to you.
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