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Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives

Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives

List Price: $13.00
Your Price: $9.75
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 2 stars
Summary: quite dissapointing, stopped reading after a few chapters
Review: The problem with Dr. Laura's TEN STUPID THINGS is that, like with most of her books, you cannot ever be sure she is being honest in a way that matters. Many accuse her of giving (White Bible-belt suburban) people a moralistic pill to swallow like LSD, inviting a return to a supposedly simpler, pre-1965 Fantasia of American life. While this stereotype is even more simplistic than anything she has yet to write, it has, like every myth, a grain of truth to it that can be explained best via the work of the great psychologists of our time that she all but openly refuses to refer to. In attempting to avoid the intellectual and moral responsibility inherent in structuring a sharing of psychological and social truths, Dr. Laura hides a professional insecurity, I believe, behind her common sense language that may reveal a not so healthy end-game agenda.

Dr. Laura indeed gives a LOT of common sense talk in this, like in most of her books. She does not, however, go deep into the modern female psyche-like what Nancy Friday does with MY MOTHER MY SELF, or Judith Hollis with FAT AND FURIOUS, or Alice Miller in THOU SHALT NOT BE AWARE-for the benefit of *context*; to enable women to understand what unconscious agenda is being served by these behaviors that would make them need a how-to manual for basic adult living. Her only concern in even cryptically stating the raison d'Etre of the entire discipline of psychology (which, though people often forget, is not what she got her doctorate in) seems to be so it can give her an appearance of moral authority, enabling her to complain about the narcissistic/quasi-misogynist modern culture in the exact same way women complain about the men within it.

Here are facts that are not proclaimed in our common sense talk about male/female relationships: the overwhelming majority of angry women in marriages/relationships that they cannot stop complaining about in American society, regardless of variations of age, race, class, religion or social background, have virtually the same thematic myths about their mother/daughter relationships and their childhoods. A woman's relationships with men, her own body, her mind and her self-esteem are usually the product of what women learned or didn't learn as young girls in the mother/daughter relationship-the first of any relevance for all women. The pattern for these relationships in America, whether women admit it or not, is often heartbreakingly deceitful, neglectful, anachronistic and abusive. But the only way women can keep the myths alive about what this relationship was, and not be confronted with the emotional/spiritual consequences of its painful reality, is by doing one or more of the following:

1) running to a religious community where these truths can be avoided with the use of scripture

2) hanging out almost exclusively with women who are in denial about the same problems

3) Willfully ignoring the fact that, as American women today, they are richer and more powerful than 90% of all women in the world and in human history (even at their financial and emotional WEAKEST) and the human responsibility that entails, or

4) holding the man (be it husband, father or abstract phallic symbol, like a "Patriarchal subculture" in the business world) in their life responsible for changing something they in actuality do not want changed at all: a man/woman or society/woman relationship that allows them to ignore the pain of their pasts by being a living analogy of the primal mother/daughter relationship as it really was.

Or 5): all of the above. That, plus the *Oprah-iate of the masses* that is Hollywood/Madison Ave. & the talk show circuit catering to this narcissistic tendency in American women, is a major chunk of modern day society.

Women should be encouraged to understand their dysfunctional behavior, regardless of men's, in this context: of it being the symptoms of a cultural/emotional/intellectual addiction (like what Alcoholism became to the Native Americans after the many genocides). A straight-up listing of what the behaviors are should only be given out by anyone calling themselves "Doctor" to serve that purpose.

Dr. Laura, however, mentions none of this and doesn't do any of this. Because eliciting real emotional health and economic independence for women is not actually part of her agenda.

Take a look at some of the questions Dr. Laura addresses in the truly healthy philosophical context that she does not:

=Why hasn't he called? (Short Answer: WHY DOES YOUR MOTHER CALL SO OFTEN?)

=Do you really want to be with someone who is not giving you back what you're giving? (AND DID YOU FEEL THAT WAY WHEN YOU WERE THIRTEEN, WHEN THAT PERSON WAS YOUR MOTHER AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE?)

=Are you a volunteer hostage? (SEE QUESTION ABOVE)

=How do I teach a man to respect me (WHEN MY MOTHER WON'T)?

=What is true Intimacy (AND IS MOM'S RELATIONSHIP TO DAD REALLY THE MODEL I SHOULD BE FOLLOWING)?

=Should you hang in there or leave? (WHAT DID MY MOTHER DO? WHAT DID MY MOTHER SAY SHE'D DO IF SHE HAD A SECOND CHANCE? IS MY MOTHER REALLY MY FRIEND?)

=Who is really responsible for birth control? (AND WHY, AS I AM THE ONE GETTING PREGNANT IN THE END, WAS THIS REALLY EVEN A QUESTION FOR EITHER MY MOTHER OR ME AFTER JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL? WHAT ARE THE REAL REASONS WHY MOTHERHOOD AT ANY COST IS SO ATTRACTIVE; NOT TO ALL WOMEN, BUT TO ME?)

=What is the difference between Sexual Passion and Mature Love? (WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVING MY MOTHER AND LOVING A MAN?)

Dr. Laura's letter of the law in TEN STUPID THINGS is straightforward and, naturally, well enough written. But truly embracing the spirit of the law-and honoring the female heart for which it stands-goes a little deeper than this. Read this in the library as a map to Heaven; buy something deeper to learn how to actually get there and live there.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Excellent!
Review: This is an excellent book for anyone willing to listen to the intelligent arguments Dr. Laura makes. More women should listen! This book is used as an educational tool in the juvenile facility where I volunteer.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Live and Learn or Listen to Laura!
Review: You have to ask yourself one question. Why do authors who are divorced write all the marriage and self-help books? Well in five words: "They learned from the experience."

If you want advice from a woman who has "been there/done that" then Dr. Laura is a good source of wisdom. She has fallen, picked herself up and moved on. Girlfriend, this is one woman who isn't going to take it anymore. She looks at the facts, pushes aside the romantic ideals and makes you face the reality of your situation. Personally, I kinda like her "in your face truth attitude." It is refreshing to finally hear what no one else will tell you. Dr. Laura's hope is that people will learn to live more balanced lives.

She takes a look at our unrealistic drives and primal needs. She says the "ultimate stupidity" is withholding from yourself the respect you deserve. She shows how women often tolerate obnoxious male behaviors in order to avoid loneliness, self-assertiveness, and self-sufficiency.

The lovely contents include chapters on Attachment, Courtship, Devotion, Passion, Cohabitation, Expectations, Conception, Subjugation, Helplessness and Forgiving. While most of this book seems to be for women who are dating, every woman should read this book.

"It is your job as a woman, as a person, to become as fully realized as you can by having dreams, forging a purpose, building an identity, having courage, and making commitments to things outside of yourself. In so doing, you take a more active role in the quality of your own life so that other people-friends, spouses, children-share in your growth rather than become responsible for it. You'll feel super. And you'll feel really womanly-as opposed to babyish or girlish-perhaps for the first time." ~Dr. Laura

She answers the following questions:

Why hasn't he called? (Short Answer: Are you sure you want him to?)
Do you really want to be with someone who is not giving you back what you're giving?
Are you a volunteer hostage?
How do I teach a man to respect me?
What is true Intimacy?
What is sexual addiction?
Should you hang in there or leave?
What is the difference between Sexual Passion and Mature Love?
Who is really responsible for birth control?

Even Dr. Laura is willing to admit there is no life without pain. "The experience and the survival of pain are often the price of growth."

What if you can bypass some of this pain?
Would that be worth the price of this book?

YES!

Ok, I admit, I borrowed this from my mother. ;) Now she will
have to read the highlighted version.


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