An Unfinished Marriage

Rating:
Summary: A Unfortunate Sequel
Review: "A Year by the Sea," to which An Unfinished Marriage" is the sequel, is the memoir of a woman who peeled off the layers of her life and found again the person hidden under those layers. This is not unique in literature, nor in the lives of women, but Anderson's story is satisfying to women, most of whom are unable or unwilling to take Anderson's drastic and courageous approach to reshaping their lives. It was well-written and, deservedly, it sold well; a lot of us who read it learned from her experiences and appreciated her insights.

Unfortunately, "An Unfinished Marriage" is a bogus effort to take advantage of that success, with little basis. "Write a sequel, Joan. A lot of readers will buy the book, thinking that you really have something else to say."

Most of this book--and most of the so-called work on "finishing" or rescuing the marriage--takes place in Joan's head, not between Joan and Robin. Robin, newly retired, is undeveloped in the book, presented as though he has little or no role in the marriage and little or no interest in taking any steps to preserve it. He is trying to redefine himself as a retired person, a position for which Anderson has little sympathy. Having spent the preceding year re-evaluating and changing her life, she has not much interest in his attempt to do the same in the year she has apparently designated for re-evaluating and changing their marriage. This is a man who has obviously failed to get with the program.

Joan seems to feel that the future of the marriage is entirely in her hands and that somehow the marriage will move forward if she is very introspective and contrives everything possible into a series of lame metaphors that supposedly represent the marriage. A trip to the dump makes her realize that the marriage can be recycled like an aluminum can or a plastic bucket? Oh, please. Robin and Joan undertake the renovation of the beach house that has now become their year-round home and that is a metaphor for the remodeling of the marriage. Yes indeed, a recycled metaphor.(Which came first, the renovation or the metaphor?)

The dialogue in this book is stilted, way too heavy for normal conversation, fraught with meaning. In fact, everything in the book is fraught with meaning, too significant. If this reflects the their daily life during the period reported in the book, no wonder reassembling the marriage was so difficult. It seems that every action, every conversation, every event must be analyzed, reshaped and forced into significance for the sake of the book.

And therein lies the major problem with this book: It was forced into being. There is no book in this book.

Rating:
Summary: A great sequel to "A Year by the Sea"
Review: After reading her amazing book "A Year by the Sea" I was excited to pick up Joan Anderson's latest book "An Unfinished Marriage." From the minute I cracked it open, I was hooked and couldn't put it down. She picked up the story right where she left off in the previous book--her husband was going to retire early and join her at their cottage on Cape Cod. I was very interested to see how their strained relationship would pan out. I was pleasantly surprised to read that, like most marriages, it had its ups and downs. As she shared her experiences and thoughts, I learned a lot about my own marriage along the way. I kept putting myself in her shoes, wondering how I would react in similar situations. Well, I give them both credit for working out their differences and taking a chance on making their marriage work. Sure they have a few kinks to work out, but that's part of the fun, isn't it? I loved reading about their unusual dinner party with friends, their new cottage renovations, and their two-week stint at an isolated dune shack. I can't wait to hear about what happens next. Perhaps she'll write a third installation about becoming a grandmother and the impact that has on her own life and marriage.

Rating:
Summary: An ongoing relationship and an unfinished journey!
Review: An ongoing relationship and an unfinished journey!

In 1999, Joan Anderson's book, A Year by the Sea was published to unanimous acclaim. Written primarily as a memoir, the author focused on the year she separated from her husband and lived alone in their Cape Cod cottage. This slim volume spoke volumes to legions of women and quickly became a bestseller. Now in her newest book, An Unfinished Marriage, Anderson continues her story as she reconciles with her husband and he moves to the Cape.

Certainly, Joan Anderson took a bold step by separating from her husband to find herself and perhaps in part to add a new dimension to her married life. And while many women who are married for sometime would find this the thought of a solitary year intriguing, Anderson admits it was not always an easy experience. Neither is everything so wonderful during the time Robin and Joan joined together again.

For Joan, the reunion is initially fraught with tension and compromise. While Robin has retired and is now seeking a new meaning and purpose to his life, Joan has already found this during her year of solitude. Joan feels crowded by his presence both physically and emotionally. As Anderson also described unearthed emotions in her first book, she continues to reveal her innermost thoughts concerning the changes and growth for them as individuals and as a married couple. Month by month for the year of their reunion, Anderson charts the ups and downs of her marriage and their lives. With total candor
and great insight, she presents a vivid look into the inner working of this union. Drawing upon glimpses of their early, married life and their years as parents of two young boys, for many readers these scenes will serve as reminders of their own lives. While at first I was put off by Anderson's thought and words likening them to literary whining, this was short lived as the book intensified with emotions and resolutions. And all at once I came to fully understand the author's desires and wants not only for herself but for the two of them as a couple.

I do recommend reading both A Year by the Sea and An Unfinished Marriage. Both books evoke memories of Nan Martin's journey in the fictional title Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg. This is a wonderful renewal of spirit both as a woman and wife. I think that many would agree after reading this book that for Joan and Robin Anderson their journey continues and readers everywhere I imagine will wish them well.

Rating:
Summary: An ongoing relationship and an unfinished journey!
Review: An ongoing relationship and an unfinished journey!

In 1999, Joan Anderson's book, A Year by the Sea was published to unanimous acclaim. Written primarily as a memoir, the author focused on the year she separated from her husband and lived alone in their Cape Cod cottage. This slim volume spoke volumes to legions of women and quickly became a bestseller. Now in her newest book, An Unfinished Marriage, Anderson continues her story as she reconciles with her husband and he moves to the Cape.

Certainly, Joan Anderson took a bold step by separating from her husband to find herself and perhaps in part to add a new dimension to her married life. And while many women who are married for sometime would find this the thought of a solitary year intriguing, Anderson admits it was not always an easy experience. Neither is everything so wonderful during the time Robin and Joan joined together again.

For Joan, the reunion is initially fraught with tension and compromise. While Robin has retired and is now seeking a new meaning and purpose to his life, Joan has already found this during her year of solitude. Joan feels crowded by his presence both physically and emotionally. As Anderson also described unearthed emotions in her first book, she continues to reveal her innermost thoughts concerning the changes and growth for them as individuals and as a married couple. Month by month for the year of their reunion, Anderson charts the ups and downs of her marriage and their lives. With total candor
and great insight, she presents a vivid look into the inner working of this union. Drawing upon glimpses of their early, married life and their years as parents of two young boys, for many readers these scenes will serve as reminders of their own lives. While at first I was put off by Anderson's thought and words likening them to literary whining, this was short lived as the book intensified with emotions and resolutions. And all at once I came to fully understand the author's desires and wants not only for herself but for the two of them as a couple.

I do recommend reading both A Year by the Sea and An Unfinished Marriage. Both books evoke memories of Nan Martin's journey in the fictional title Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg. This is a wonderful renewal of spirit both as a woman and wife. I think that many would agree after reading this book that for Joan and Robin Anderson their journey continues and readers everywhere I imagine will wish them well.

Rating:
Summary: Snuggle up with this book
Review: An Unfinished Marriage by Joan Anderson was a wonderful surprise. I have not read A Year by the Sea but still found this book to be enjoyable in its own right. Both men and women can see themselves in these characters' places. You would think this book would be filled with tension. It does not come off that way. Just a marriage trying to settle into a new phase of life. I found this book to be comforting and quiet. Each idea and event washes over you one after the other towards the conclusion. If you can read this by the sea so much the better.

Rating:
Summary: Disappointing
Review: An Unfinished Marriage, unlike Anderson's A Year by the Sea, was a disappointment. While reading An Unfinished Marriage, more times than not the thought of the author writing what we want to hear entered my mind. It seems as if this second book is a corporate publicity stunt to help finance the cottage's renovations rather than an inspiration. The story of Joan and Robin's choosing to get back together after the year separation and the writer's first hand exploration of it surely are comforting to the large audience of married people- and unmarried people alike! What the writer fails to do in this book, however, is have a genuine voice. The book is overthreaded with quotes rather than her own insight, which is tossed aside. A Year by the Sea is a great read, but I will not be passing along An Unfinished Marriage this summer.

Rating:
Summary: Truth and Comfort for those in Transition
Review: As a woman in transition myself, having gone through very similiar experiences, the author could be writing about my life at 47 after 29 years of marriage. Her first book, A Year by the Sea got me through my own separation after 26 years of marriage. And, now that I am back together with my husband trying to find my way, and he finds his, I am comforted by Joan and Robin's experiences. Joan writes simply and honestly about coming to terms with her own inadequacies in relationship with her husband and sons. She's willing to see how her attitudes and expectations have contributed to problems relating to those she loves. And it is from her willingness to look within that she becomes a better partner, mother and woman.

Rating:
Summary: I hated this woman, but parts of the book were challenging
Review: I am not impressed with Joan Anderson's constant harping about her husband. She really does not portray him in a very positive light. Forced early retirement is not easy on any man and she should have been more sympathetic.

Although for her it may seem his forced early retirement is 'too much husband, half as much money', I often wonder if from his point of view, this chapter in his life doesn't feel like an excerpt from Sartre's No Exit, in which three people who come to detest each other are forced to stay in the same little room for eternity with no detente.

As a man, this book has the benefits of forcing you to look at your wife's state of mind and take action to give her some space before she takes off and leaves for a year. By the end, I am left thinking they should have just divorced because he deserves better.

At the end of the book, I am left thinking that the woman is just overcritical and self centered, and would be better off alone on a permanent basis.

Every man needs a woman who adores him - anything less and he's better off alone.



Rating:
Summary: I preferred her first book, but this is a good follow up
Review: I found Joan Anderson's first book, A Year by the Sea to be a life altering book for me. This follow up doesn't quite live up to the original but it is interesting to see where the first book left off and what happened the year after the year by the sea. I recently met Joan Anderson at one of her wonderful weekend by the sea retreats and she told us that she had been asked why she and her husband got back together after a year apart, and she said it is because he is my best friend. As simple as that. This book does show the love and tenderness that Joan and Robin have for each other especially after Joan breaks her ankle and has to completely depend on her husband for everything. After an awkward start, he becomes an expert in domestic duties much to Joan's delight. Who knew? Given half a chance, men can take care of a household as well as a woman if he is willing to try. And their two weeks at the dune cottage while their house was being renovated was a kind of a whimsical adventure. With no electricity, running water or telephones what can you possible have to do for two whole weeks? Well, they managed to do a lot of discovery about themselves and their surroundings during that time. Everyone should have such an opportunity to get away from the rat race once in a while. I recommend the book but only after reading A Year by the Sea first if you haven't already because otherwise you won't get it.

Rating:
Summary: middle-age crisis
Review: I like both this book and Joan's first book, A Year by the sea. I like her written style and her honesty. When I read this book, I feel my heart beat and try to find out what is going to happen. It is a great book! As a woman, I understand her situation. I feel sorry for her. However, I just wonder how Robin (her husband) thinks of these two books. These two books unveiled their unfinished marriage, just like be naked in front of the public. I don't think I would like my husband to write and published our relationship "in public." And, I also wonder how her grown up children feel about the books? Will they feel comfortable about their parent's "problem" to be known? Will the books help their marriage? Well, I don't know. Probably I will have an answer as soon as Joan publishes her third book.