Rating: 
Summary: Invaluable Guide for those seeking real love
Review: Author Shmuley Boteach creates a much needed and long overdue "user friendly" guide for singles caught in the often frustrating and unpredictable maelstrom known as the dating world. By extending compassion and offering tools for honest self-examination, Boteach takes the reader on a witty and yet serious journey into the necessary introspection required for every single who is serious about finding a soul mate. The author is never stuffy or preachy but always extremely down to earth. Clearly an amazingly experienced and reputed relationship expert, Boteach writes confidently, with a distinctive and deserved authority. Without apology, he brazenly addresses the issues at hand, incorporating a no nonsense approach, going straight to the heart of the dating matter. He evidently has an uncanny understanding of the pitfalls associated with dating as mere sport and how many singles unconsciously get caught in a cycle of self-pity leading to inevitable self-defeat. Being single myself and considering the observably downtrodden and discouraged state of many of my single contemporaries, I found this book to be extremely practical and generously offering surprisingly sound advice rather than just expounding upon the lamenting title, "Why Can't I Fall in Love?" In purchasing this book, I was at first rather tentative. The title deceptively fooled me into believing that it was a book in which I would find my self diagnosed among those singles now labeled as, "helpless and hopeless." Much to the contrary, I have come away with a book which I am now reading for the second time, wanting to further absorb it's remarkable tenets. Many other singles have shared with me their using, "Why Can't I Fall in Love?" as a reference guide for deciphering the baffling world of their emotions as single men and women. Considering the self-admitted, quasi-closet-dysfunctional state of many singles, the book is ingeniously written in classic, "Twelve Step" format. Once the challenging quizzes throughout and adventurous exercises are completed, poor and addictive dating habits are no longer viable and productive healing is offered as in any other "Twelve Step Program." The reader is now able to understand common dating myths and albeit reluctantly, also identify with the hidden fears which plague many singles. Through this thought-training process, Boteach paradoxically creates a greater vulnerability in the heart of a single person as he prepares them for big event, the pursuit of real love. "Why Can't I Fall in Love" is similar to Boteach's previous and not surprisingly, bestseller, "Kosher Sex." Both works reflect Boteach's profound commitment to romantic love as key to reaching the highest state of human happiness. The difference in these two works is that this new manual for finding love will appeal to a much larger reading audience as it is comprised of the rising numbers of those marrying later and those suddenly divorced and finding themselves back in the field. My only critique is that this book should have anteceded "Kosher Sex" in laying the groundwork for the foundations of the ultimate goal which is of course, unbreakable monogamy. Despite the change in the dating scene in the past few decades, the author addresses those very dynamics, all the while maintaining the fundamental principles of dating and marriage, thus preventing the book itself from ever becoming "dated." With Boteach's gift of storytelling and matchless wit, the reader becomes so relaxed that they suddenly feel as if they are in private and on going counseling sessions, being given free of charge. Boteach has saved the day here for wayward singles. "Why Can't I Fall in Love?" offers a map to navigate the fearful and unchartered course towards finding a soul mate. Boteach's merciless call to honesty, challenges even the most hardened skeptic about the deep and abiding human need for romantic love. The value of his insights for lonely and searching singles cannot be overstated. To say that this book is a "must have" for every single is rather cliche' and yet "mandatory" is even more apropos. "Why Can't I Fall in Love?, A 12-step program, is truly an invaluable tool for healing, survival and ultimately prospering, in the quest for true love.
Rating:
Summary: Invaluable Guide for those seeking real love
Review: Author Shmuley Boteach creates a much needed and long overdue "user friendly" guide for singles caught in the often frustrating and unpredictable maelstrom known as the dating world. By extending compassion and offering tools for honest self-examination, Boteach takes the reader on a witty and yet serious journey into the necessary introspection required for every single who is serious about finding a soul mate. The author is never stuffy or preachy but always extremely down to earth. Clearly an amazingly experienced and reputed relationship expert, Boteach writes confidently, with a distinctive and deserved authority. Without apology, he brazenly addresses the issues at hand, incorporating a no nonsense approach, going straight to the heart of the dating matter. He evidently has an uncanny understanding of the pitfalls associated with dating as mere sport and how many singles unconsciously get caught in a cycle of self-pity leading to inevitable self-defeat. Being single myself and considering the observably downtrodden and discouraged state of many of my single contemporaries, I found this book to be extremely practical and generously offering surprisingly sound advice rather than just expounding upon the lamenting title, "Why Can't I Fall in Love?" In purchasing this book, I was at first rather tentative. The title deceptively fooled me into believing that it was a book in which I would find my self diagnosed among those singles now labeled as, "helpless and hopeless." Much to the contrary, I have come away with a book which I am now reading for the second time, wanting to further absorb it's remarkable tenets. Many other singles have shared with me their using, "Why Can't I Fall in Love?" as a reference guide for deciphering the baffling world of their emotions as single men and women. Considering the self-admitted, quasi-closet-dysfunctional state of many singles, the book is ingeniously written in classic, "Twelve Step" format. Once the challenging quizzes throughout and adventurous exercises are completed, poor and addictive dating habits are no longer viable and productive healing is offered as in any other "Twelve Step Program." The reader is now able to understand common dating myths and albeit reluctantly, also identify with the hidden fears which plague many singles. Through this thought-training process, Boteach paradoxically creates a greater vulnerability in the heart of a single person as he prepares them for big event, the pursuit of real love. "Why Can't I Fall in Love" is similar to Boteach's previous and not surprisingly, bestseller, "Kosher Sex." Both works reflect Boteach's profound commitment to romantic love as key to reaching the highest state of human happiness. The difference in these two works is that this new manual for finding love will appeal to a much larger reading audience as it is comprised of the rising numbers of those marrying later and those suddenly divorced and finding themselves back in the field. My only critique is that this book should have anteceded "Kosher Sex" in laying the groundwork for the foundations of the ultimate goal which is of course, unbreakable monogamy. Despite the change in the dating scene in the past few decades, the author addresses those very dynamics, all the while maintaining the fundamental principles of dating and marriage, thus preventing the book itself from ever becoming "dated." With Boteach's gift of storytelling and matchless wit, the reader becomes so relaxed that they suddenly feel as if they are in private and on going counseling sessions, being given free of charge. Boteach has saved the day here for wayward singles. "Why Can't I Fall in Love?" offers a map to navigate the fearful and unchartered course towards finding a soul mate. Boteach's merciless call to honesty, challenges even the most hardened skeptic about the deep and abiding human need for romantic love. The value of his insights for lonely and searching singles cannot be overstated. To say that this book is a "must have" for every single is rather cliche' and yet "mandatory" is even more apropos. "Why Can't I Fall in Love?, A 12-step program, is truly an invaluable tool for healing, survival and ultimately prospering, in the quest for true love.
Rating: 
Summary: Love is a NEED
Review: Before this book, I felt that if someone find love, good, if not, so what. Now, I realize that love is a NEED! But i'll admit, I think alot of what's in this book seem kinda wierd. The author seems to support younger marriages. Not teen, but early 20s. To me, don't younger people who get married are more likely going to divorce? The author married the first girl he dated!! To me it kinda seems that anyone who marry their first girlfriend/boyfriend is on the desperate side. Then again, I notice that most people who marry their first gf/bf tend to choose to date the right person from the get-go and are more likely to stay together. Example are my parents, grandparents, etc.\ Also, it's has alot of jewish christian references. I'm neither religion but the author still manage to pararllel my buddhist values. Overall, though I think the book is wierd, I do think it's a great book with good advice. After, it did change my view on love. Love is a NEED and without it, we have nothing! Maybe it's not that wierd. Its how society is right now that makes it seem wierd.
Rating: 
Summary: Why can't I like this book?
Review: I found Rabbi Smug-Married Boteach's prose to be too didactic, too condescending to take to heart, 'scuse the pun. I couldn't get all the way through the book because his incessantly complacent writing style got on my nerves. I can't accept that love is a necessity, not from someone who says "I am the Love Prophet" to send his points home. I think he has some thoughtful and worthwhile observations about the difficult situation us singles find ourselves in...as a society we are all finding that love is an increasingly more and more precious commodity that we dimiss as a luxury item. But it's hard to get past the lines of attitude that his language draws. "I saw a woman on a plane, she had a problem, I said the exact words that delineated her problem and I know I made a difference in her life." Yay for you, Schmuley.
Rating:
Summary: the best new relationship book
Review: I have read some of Boteach's other books- namely Kosher Sex and Dating Secrets of the TEn Commandments, and I thought they were well argued, but this one really resonated with me. Boteach is right- we now treat love as a luxury, not as a necessity and that has profound implications on the health of our society. What I really liked about this book was the way that it articulated the differences in the way men and women think. My brother is a chronic bachelor and I gave him the book to read, and he said that it helped him focus on why he is not able to make any relationship last any longer than 3 months.I found this book funny and intelligently written, and I thoroughly reccomend it to anyone who is trying to navigate the minefields of the dating scene.
Rating:
Summary: It offers a different perspective...
Review: I have to agree with many of the other reviewers...this was a provoking book. Rabbi Boteach's humor makes this rather insightful and "heavy" book an easier read. His focus on relationships as something sacred is refreshing...the idea that you are on your search for your "true love," rather than just "dating."
Rating:
Summary: And What To Do About It
Review: I probably read a copy of a different edition. Nonetheless, I bought the book because I had been asking myself the same question. If you're looking for some possible answers to the question yourself, bear with his preaching. Some truths are indeed hard to swallow. Yes, I laughed a lot at myself reading his sharp bullets. And he's funny too. The author provides simple, direct, and unpopular suggestions. Take it or leave it. I got tired with some of the ideas presented repetitively, but it's probably for emphasis. A bit orthodox, of course. But definitely a must read for people who are wondering about the same thing. You never know what you'll discover. Sometimes his points echoed in my mind just when I was looking for something. I kept the book for reference when in need!
Rating:
Summary: Love is a NEED
Review: I recommend this book as a way to help single people look at things we can change in our lives to fall in love. The luxury/necessity thing that others have mentioned is a big insight, as is the "good enough" marriage -- although he says he disagrees with Fein/Schneider's "The Rules" there are a lot of similar recommendations between the two books; just with different underlying reasons. I'm sticking with "The Rules" but it was still a good read and I will look for his other books.
Rating:
Summary: From a "The Rules" fan
Review: I recommend this book as a way to help single people look at things we can change in our lives to fall in love. The luxury/necessity thing that others have mentioned is a big insight, as is the "good enough" marriage -- although he says he disagrees with Fein/Schneider's "The Rules" there are a lot of similar recommendations between the two books; just with different underlying reasons. I'm sticking with "The Rules" but it was still a good read and I will look for his other books.
Rating: 
Summary: Mixed Feelings
Review: People's communications usually reflect themselves. This book is a case in point. Rabbi Boteach is an Orthodox Rabbi so his views are quite traditional. He does, however, modify them somewhat with an understanding of some of the realities of life in America. But, by making marriage (his goal of love) a given NEED, it skews his view of dating, psychology, etc. At first it seemed to have a feminine flavor, but I believe that it's really more of a Feeling (vs. Thinking from a Jungian perspective) view of the world. Also a bit more Extroverted than Introverted. Some of his pronouncements seem quite naive to me (e.g. his "Declaration of Dependence" in Chapter 8). Nevertheless, he does provide some solid, usable advice which counters some recent practices and identifies addictive dating and its ramifications. Also, he interjects a bit of humor and some illustrative stories as examples. I only gave it 3 stars, but I can easily see that other people in other circumstances could give it more. I think that those who despise this book might look within to see why that is. You can certainly disagree with R. Boteach's perspective and values, but to overly, emotionally react to the book seems irrational to me.
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