Rating: Summary: Read this for yourself, trust God to reveal its truth to you Review: I am anything but a child abuser.I am so sensitive to child abuse that when I see anything on the news about child abuse, I somtimes cry for days on end over it. I am tempted to think that the people who see this book as child abuse do not know the Lord or his word as well as they may think.
All I can say is to pray and read this book. God will reveal to you if this is truth or not. Don't let the reviews of others form your opinion. Trust in God, not me. I can say that since my husband and 10 other church families have read and studied this book together my own home went from tears and chaos to a joyful, peaceful home with happier more obedient and secure children AND parents! There is so much love! Try it before you disregard it!
Rating: Summary: Twisting God's word to support child abuse Review: I am a Christian who also teaches child development in college and has practiced as a child therapist. As I read this book my heart was troubled and sadened at the thought of many well meaning Christians reading this book and thinking it is the word of God or that is supports healthy child raising techniques. This book advocates laying "stripes" on a child (bruises or welts) in the name of God and that God fearing parents should expect such injuries. It tells you the size of the "rod" to whip or chastise a child with beginning in infancy and continuing well into adolesence. It does not support building loving, nurturing relationships or actually "teaching" a child. This flies in the face of everything we know about children and how they learn. If you want to control a child with authoritarian techniques, such as those recommended in this book, then I agree it is possible. However if your goal is to have a thinking, feeling, responsible child then positive, nurturing techniques must be used. In America over 86% of parents hit, spank or slap their children and yet, children are more out of control than they have ever been. This is because parents are not honoring Christ's example of "teaching" rather than abusing. Studies also show that children who are raised using corporal punishment have decreased internalization of morals, poorer child and adult mental health, increased deliquency and anti-social behavior, increased risk of being a victim of abuse or of abusing their own child or spouse, lower incomes and less economic achievement as adults, more suicide ideation, more depression, have a drinking problem and the list goes on. Corporal punishment does not respect God'd gift of free will. (Not to be misunderstood with lack of self control)Christians must have a moral view of spanking and hitting children. There are many, many studies that prove non-violent methods of child rearing are not only more successful in reaching long term goals with children but they also support completely the teachings of a gentle, loving, healing Christ. I have taught many students, and parents how to discipline children successfully using non violent techniques. It is my hope that parents will have compassion, charity, forgiveness and love for their children. That they will take the time to train and teach, set up realistic boundaries with fair consequences and be consistent. Chirist clearly valued children and the New Testament goes so far as to say, "It would be better for him if a millstone were hanged around his neck and he were cast into the sea than he should offend one of these little ones." Luke 17:2. God's justice is subject to his love. Biblical definitions inclue, "Love is patient; love is kind..." 1 Cor. 13:4-7. Spanking and non-loving techniques of child rearing have never worked. I ask every Christian who is using Mr. Fugates techniques to reach far inside themselves and ask if it "feels" right to inflict such pain and fear on an innocent child of God. My hunch is that their heart of hearts will say , "no." And finally,Mark 10:14 says, "Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not, for such is the kingdom of heaven."
Rating: Summary: Letter of the Law Parenting Guide Review: I noticed that a lot of the people who buy this book also bought Tedd Tripp's excellent book Shepherding a Child's Heart. Make no mistake, these two books are not even close to saying the same things. Where Tedd Tripp tries to show that the heart directs behavior and encourages parents to get on the same level with their children to try to help them return to the circle of blessing, Fugate comes from a very behavioristic mindset. Fugate is promoting a controlling approach to child rearing and he does not back it up very well with scripture. Tell me where, for I did not see it in his book, the bible says we are to control our children. There is nothing at all in the book about cultivating a relationship with your child. You can force most children to do the things that you want them to, ie control, but rules and regulations without relationship = rebellion. Your children may look good on the outside but they will be nothing but, as Christ says, whitewashed tombs. Please stay clear of this book. My mom gave me this book that she had in storage and I was going to sell it here but I decided against it because I do not want make money on lies.
Rating: Summary: What Fugate says not what the Bible says. Review: I noticed that a lot of the people who buy this book also bought Tedd Tripp's excellent book Shepherding a Child's Heart. Make no mistake, these two books are not even close to saying the same things. Where Tedd Tripp tries to show that the heart directs behavior and encourages parents to get on the same level with their children to try to help them return to the circle of blessing, Fugate comes from a very behavioristic mindset. Fugate is promoting a controlling approach to child rearing and he does not back it up very well with scripture. Tell me where, for I did not see it in his book, the bible says we are to control our children. There is nothing at all in the book about cultivating a relationship with your child. You can force most children to do the things that you want them to, ie control, but rules and regulations without relationship = rebellion. Your children may look good on the outside but they will be nothing but, as Christ says, whitewashed tombs. Please stay clear of this book. My mom gave me this book that she had in storage and I was going to sell it here but I decided against it because I do not want make money on lies.
Rating: Summary: Almost 19 years later I'm SO glad I read this book!!! Review: I started out a teen mother and scared by all the sterotypes about teen parenting. I read every book I could get my hands on. Of all of them Dr. James Dobson's books and this one were what I think saved my kids from probable disaster. I only disagree with Mr. Fugate on the age that a parent should start corporal punishment; from what I remember in the first book he said 6 months I think, I would say that is a little bit too young, so as with everything, read this book with your brain turned "ON". Other than that I thought this book was wonderful.
This book freed me by establishing my right and responsibilty as a parent to train my children; not just hit or miss and hope for the best. The books I read, especially this one, gave me a strategy for childrearing that actually worked! My kids are now 19, 16, 13 and 10 and I don't have a rebellious one among them, they are respectful, law abiding, drug, alcohol and premarital sex free.
My oldest son (19) would be the first one to tell you the benefits of his upbringing; he actually thanked me one day from the bottom of his heart, in his senior year in high school, for bringing him up with the type of discipline I did. He said if I "hadn't have given him that it would be nearly impossible to avoid all the temptations that are out there" and I've overheard him brag me up to his friends when they "share" horror stories about their upbringing. Don't get me wrong, I've had my share of teasing from them for being so...what I would call "stern", but no one would deny that in this day and age good, consistent and fair discipline is more necessary than ever before but unfortunately is becoming all too rare (as the crime rate goes up).
In some of the worst circumstances for a kid growing up (apparently) which is a low-income family which started out with two teenage parents, we have had what I would consider complete success in raising them so far. Additionally, my son is the second person in our family for generations to go to college and so far it looks as if the rest will follow suit.
I sought to buy a new copy of this book a few years ago, because I loaned mine to someone and never got it back, and was told it was out of print. I'm so glad they have reprinted this book, it is such a valuable resource for parents, when I thought it was gone for good I was actually upset about it.
One thing I learned from experience though as far a punishment and discipline are concerned is that fairness is the key, punishment must be fair or your kids won't trust you, this takes time and a lot of effort but why bother even trying if you're not going to do it right, eh? Also, do WHATEVER works and nothing more, if you have a kid that you just look at them wrong and they obey, sobeit, no reason to paddle them if just a stern look will work! My son had ADD and he was very strong willed; he needed to be spanked, but my daughter was nearly traumatized by a raised voice, all kids are different so you have to adapt to the child's learning style. Bottom line, you have to be smarter than the kid, lol, just kidding.
One last thing, I'm now in college myself taking criminal justice; if you want to see the "fruit" of the popular view on child rearing I would advise everyone to take a class on criminology. In my textbook it states "there is abundant evidence that parenting factors, such as the ability to communicate and to provide PROPER DISCIPLINE, may play a major role in determining whether people misbehave as children, and even later as adults. This is one of the most repeated findings in the criminological literature" (Seigel, 214)(Emphasis added).
Also think, when did these downward trends begin? At the same time Dr. Spock was considered the "foremost authority" on child spoiling....I mean training...?
I'll step off my soapbox now ;)
Sondra
References
Siegel, L. J. (2004). Criminology: Theories, Patterns and
Typologies (8th ed.). Belmont, CA: Thomson Wadsworth.
Rating: Summary: Letter of the Law Parenting Guide Review: I was informed that this was "the manual" on child training. I'm sorry I bought it, I'm sorry I read it, and I'm sorry I had to throw it away. If you want to know what the Bible says about child training, read the Bible. What ever happened to the Golden Rule? (It's in the Bible.) If we apply it to child training, maybe our children won't beat us with switches when we get too old and feeble to walk.
Rating: Summary: Letter of the Law Parenting Guide Review: I was informed that this was "the manual" on child training. I'm sorry I bought it, I'm sorry I read it, and I'm sorry I had to throw it away. If you want to know what the Bible says about child training, read the Bible. What ever happened to the Golden Rule? (It's in the Bible.) If we apply it to child training, maybe our children won't beat us with switches when we get too old and feeble to walk.
Rating: Summary: Absolutely THE best book on Review: If you want to control your kids, this is the definitive book on the topic. No other book on the market comes close to providing the anxious parent (and who among us isn't, these days?) with not only the skills sufficient to the task, but an enabling and enobling rationale that lays claim to the rich and respected heritages of both the scientific and, even moreso, the sacred. Through this book the Fugates provide not just a child-rearing manual, but an ultimate moral vision for the precise ordering of the most fundamental and foundational social structure of all, our families. What the Fugates have given us is nothing less than a master plan of parenthood. But make no mistake - this is *not* the Master's plan. The foundational premise and overarching assumption of Fugate's book is this: that what God desires most of all is *control*. And that is its fatal flaw. The Gospel truth rather is this: what our heavenly Father desires most is not control, but *intimacy*. The life and teachings of Jesus says so, and that most eloquently. And Christ's voluntary offering of himself in his passion says it best. His Body language at the Cross speaks volumes to precisely that. Behold the Lamb of God. As parent to fifteen children ages 4 to 33 I've learned over the years that if there is any secret to parenting, the secret is simply this, from Jesus, the Son of the Father: "Love one another as I have loved you." From one parent to another, if you're looking for advice, then my advice to you is this: Trust your love, and fear not. This book is, bottom line, a misdirected response to deep-seated fear and doubt. It is not faith based but power and control based, which is to say fear-based. This is explotative fear-mongering of the worst sort, one that targets an increasingly anxious, and therefore vulnerable, assembly of young parents. Despite its insistent and profuse claims to the contrary, it does not trust the love, neither does it trust our Father. This book is, simply put, a recipe for soul murder. It serves as a perfect anti-type - I exaggerate not a whit when I say this is Dr. Daniel Gottlieb Moritz Schreber's "Schrebergarten" revisioned and reissued, clothed in Biblical-sounding prooftexts. If you want to destroy your child, destroy your family, destroy your lives, simply follow the diabolical dictates of this anti-Christian pedagogical screed. Like the man said, "Beware!"
Rating: Summary: Serious about your children will be tomorrow? A must read! Review: It's a jungle out there when it comes to finding sound advice on parenting. A friend of mine lent me her copy of this book 'What the Bible says About Child Training'. It is solid Biblical principals on child training. You get to see a principal, a goal, a process and a result (the desired and undesirable results for the training chosen). I have kept going back to it. It is truelly a must read for any parent who seeks to raise children God's way. If the saying "Sound advice is rare and is to be sought after." is true then here's proof, the book's out-of-print!!
Rating: Summary: The most outstanding Christian parenting book ever written! Review: J. Richard Fugate has put it all together in one of the finest Christian parenting books ever written. Recognition of authority, obedience to the laws of God and man, and proper training up of children is covered in a readable, easy to understand fashion. GoodFathr President ParentNow Organization.
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