Politically Correct Bedtime Stories

Rating:
Summary: Oppression, Alienation, and the Three Little Pigs
Review: Bedtime stories are probably among the oldest forms of tale-telling there is in human history. Before epic poetry, before political speeches, before religious tales of awe, there were people sitting around campfires and living in caves, caring for their young, speaking soothing sounds to their young.

Bedtime stories were quickly discerned to be an excellent way in which to reinforce not only language skills, but culture and accepted morality, too.

So, why is it that fairy tales, the more-modern equivalent of these stories, became canonised and thus immutable by the likes of the Brothers Grimm, etc.? Just what does Hansel & Gretel or the Little Red Riding Hood mean for us today, beyond being good stories?

And, are they good stories? Should we teach children there are houses made of candy and cookies out in the woods? This is the kind of question addressed in this delightful little collection, Politically Correct Bedtime Stories

Now, before you get your knickers in a twist, realise that this is all in fun, but, as it is fun, highlights certain important points nonetheless. Political correctness can be stretched to the limits of absurdity, like almost anything carried to and beyond its logical limits. That is not to say that political correctness is all bad. But, we do approach a time when nothing can be said for fear of offending someone somewhere at some time.

James Finn Garner highlights this in his introduction, by saying if he has inadvertently displayed any sexist, racist, culturalist, nationalist, regionalist, ageist, lookist, ableist, sizeist, speciesist, intellectualist, socioeconomicist, ethnocentrist, phallocentrist, heteropatriarchalist, or other type of bias as yet unnamed, he apologizes and encourages your suggestions for rectification.

In this volume, we have the following stories, revised and updated for the modern reader:

- Little Red Riding Hood
- The Emperor's New Clothes
- The Three Little Pigs
- Rumpelstiltskin
- The Three Codependent Goats Gruff
- Rapunzel
- Cinderella
- Goldilocks
- Snow White
- Chicken Little
- The Frog Prince
- Jack and the Beanstalk
- The Pied Piper of Hamlin

I shall recount part of the tale of the Frog Prince below, so you can get a sense of the style of the rest of the stories in this book, which present Little Red Riding Hood teaming up with the wolf against the violence of the hunter, the three pigs living in a harmonious collective, and of course, the frog prince: Once, there was a young princess who, when she grew tired of beating her head against the male power structure at her castle, would relax by walking into the woods and sitting beside a small pond. There she would amuse herself by tossing her favourite golden ball up and down and pondering the role of the eco-feminist in her era.

Well, to cut a not-so-long story even shorter (and to avoid infringements by limiting my take to a fair-use length!), the princess and the frog agree to terms, but when the frog approaches for a kiss, the princess feels harassed; however, she relents, and the frog transforms into a businessman who wants to make the pond into a golf course and condo development... The princess eventually decided that she really didn't need a prince after all, particularly one like this, and turns him back into a frog.

'And while someone might have noticed that the frog was gone, no one ever missed the real estate developer.'

Of course, apologies are due to real estate developers, those who wear tacky golf clothing, and those caught in an inter-species spell.

Fun for children of all adult ages.

Rating:
Summary: Slightly bitter, are we?
Review: I don't think the reader from Australia quite grasped the meaning and the message of this book. It is not meant as an anti-political correctness motion, but as a little poke at the people who get slighty over-zealous about making sure that nothing they say could possibly be construed as offensive to even the most sensitive person. The book just wants to illustrate the fact that the world just shouldn't take everything qutie so seriously. However, the blame can't entirely be laid on these very, very careful invdividuals, because they aren't the ones who initially got offended by insignificant phrases. I'm sorry to say, as a woman, that feminists are to blame for much of these problems. Who really gets offended when a person calls something "man-made" rather than "synthetic?" I guess they just have to find something to complain about.
Basically, this book is just challenging people to let loose and have a little fun. No little girl is going to grow up and worry about her self image because her mother refered to their mail carrier as the mailman.

Rating:
Summary: Hitting out at PC
Review: I have been avoiding this title for years under the mistaken assumption, and fear of sorts, that this would be yet another PC rehash of the traditional fairy tales that I loved so much as a kid, and today find interesting for the light they throw on folklore and pre-modern society. Imagine my delight when I eventually did get round to reading it! Make no mistake, this book is a satire on excessive PC, which has sunk its teeth into every aspect of our lives, even into classics and fairy tales. Judging and rewriting the past by today's standards is stupid and futile, and this book shows that clearly. I'm giving this one star less simply because there could have been more, and if you're on a tight budget, it may pinch a little.

Rating:
Summary: Wheee
Review: I read this when I was 8 or 9 the first time and found it witty and funny. I read it a second time when I was 12 or 13 and understood most of the humour. I read it again last night and now appriciate it in all its brilliance. The endings are so great, especially the one for Cinderella. but I suppose youll just have to get it to see what happens....^_^

Rating:
Summary: Fairy Tales as You've Never Read Them Before!
Review: I reallllly enjoyed reading Garner's book "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories" because he takes stories that we have all grown up with and revamps them to appeal to the modern reader. I think its fascinating how he can take something from the past and recreate it to critique modern society. The book is veryyyy enjoyable, and I doubt there is anyone who won't find him/herself laughing out loud at AT LEAST one moment in the book! For all of those who think that fairy tales are very basic and only appeal to the younger generation, think again! Garner is very witty and, if you enjoy his politically correct versions, read Bettelheim's interpretations as well..you'll find yourself even more shocked and surprised. :)

Rating:
Summary: A PC Field Guide
Review: Illustrating the absurd, using the PC crowd's own words and mindset. This is a LOL field guide for dealing with the Mothers Against McDonald's crowd and a fun read to boot!

(Remember if you have no goals in life, you can't fail at anything!)

Rating:
Summary: Which Side of the Line
Review: In this short book James Garner has retold a baker's dozen (13) bedtime stories in what he calls a "politically correct" way. Included among the stories are Little Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks, Jack and the Beanstalk, the Pied Piper, and nine others. At first the retelling of these stories might bring a smile or two to the face of the reader. In Little Red Riding Hood, when Little Red is about to be saved from the wolf by the woodchopper, Little Red turns on the woodchopper demanding to know why the woodchopper thinks that womyn/women and wolves need a man's help to solve their problems.

The question in my mind is whether Garner has written a book of politically corrected bedtime stories or whether he has lampooned political correctness. Which side of the line is Garner on? In the story of the Three Little Pigs, Garner has the wolf huffing and puffing until the wolf has a massive heart attack "brought on by eating too many fatty foods." At this, as one might expect, the three little pigs rejoice.

What happens next is that the three little pigs resolve to regain their "homeland." They gather together other pigs and become a band of "porcinistas" (like Sandanistas) who attack a resort complex with machine guns and rocket launchers.The "cruel wolf oppressors" are slaughtered. Then the pigs set up a "model socialist democracy." The reader need not be offended by the mention of a slaughter. Garner concludes by writing that the wolf in this story was a metaphorical construct and no wolves were harmed in the writing.

My own take on this is that Garner has gone beyond merely rewriting politically correct bedtime stories. However this is a judgment call and I leave it to other readers to read these stories and discern for themselves. Regardless of which way the reader decides, happy reading.

Rating:
Summary: Delightful!
Review: Politically Correct Bedtime Stories is a hilarious romp through some of your favorite fairytales as you've never seen them before. In a world where it's becoming increasingly important to maintain a high level of political correctness, sometimes it's fun to sit back and laugh at the whole thing. Let's face it...who's never heard a phrase so politically correct that you had no idea what the person was talking about? Garner manages to maximize his PC'ness to an outlandish degree and still maintain the level of understanding and hilarity. After reading this book you will never think of Cinderella, The Three Little Pigs, Rapunzel, and a host of others quite the same way again. I'm off to order the other two books in the series, because this one is such a delightful little gem.

Rating:
Summary: Satire at its best
Review: This book is satire at its best. Garner takes thirteen classic tales for children and rewrites them using the most politically correct language possible. Jack of Jack and the Beanstalk sells his cow for beans, falling for the sales pitch: " By selling the cow, you perpetuate the cultural mythos of beef, ignoring the negative impact on our ecology and the health and social problems that arise from meat consumption." This trade finally convinces his mother that he is differently abled rather than a conceptual thinker and she goes off to join a support group.
Dialog like this had me laughing throughout the book. The pied piper now clears a trailer park by playing country music so that new development can take place. Cinderella is now admonished by her fairy godperson to avoid wearing garments that bind her into the male concept of beauty and the three billy goats are now codependent.
If you are like me and find politically correct language annoying, then read this and for a short time laugh about how it sounds when it is used to build stories.

Rating:
Summary: Good but not many pages
Review: This book takes thirteen classic fairy tales and rewrites them, showing (and warning) us what they would be like in a world corrupted by political correctness. Some are better done than others and there are some great stories as well as average ones. It's a good short book, you'll finish it in an hour or so. Other rewrites of the Grimm brothers classics which aren't dealing specifically with political correctness such as Once Upon a Crime for books and "Weird Al" Yankovic's Peter and the Wolf Compact Disc are much better quality and value for money. If this is a good price though buy it, it is a worthwhile read.