Rating: 
Summary: I've been laughing outloud!
Review: As a working, mother in the mental health field I was so please to read that Harriet has gone through the same termoils I have. It seems so trivial when I hear her recounts. What a guilt trip we put on ourselves. While reading you feel like she could be sitting in your kitchen talking over a cup of diet soda. I have recommended this book to so many new mothers and older mothers that seem so concerned about doing the "right" thing. Dr. Lerner reminds us there isn't a "right" or "wrong" way to parent.Lena Sheffield, M.S.Ed., CAP
Rating: 
Summary: A Must Buy for Parents
Review: Get this book NOW and give it to every Mom you know regardless of how old their children are! I read this book before I had kids to try and understand what my own Mom might have gone through. Now that I have 15 mo. old twins, I have re-read it during the long hours of breastfeeding! It is falling apart and my highlighter ran out of ink! Harriet Lerner has once again written a thoughtful, insightful, warm, and inspiring book. Through her experience raising 2 boys, she tells it like it is! I was so tired of parenting books giving me "steps to success" and rules for engagement - none of which work consistently. Harriet seems to be the first to recognize that we are all human and it is bringing this human-ness fully into our parenting that connects us with our children. Her real life stories demonstrate how being honest, curious, revealing, and loving can help us raise kids. I loved how courageous she was to reveal her own times of doubt and fear, and then to know what the outcome was for her. She also talks a lot of her husband's involvement and how they are in their different ways of being with the kids. It's just one of those books where you go, "Yeah, that's what happens for me, too." After reading this book, I felt as if I had been inside Harriet's home and seen first hand what it's really like to try and raise kids using your values, knowledge, and self awareness while simultaneously trying not to fall apart when they do something crazy. Thank you, Harriet, for helping me be a better Mom.
Rating:
Summary: Full of wit, wisdom, and humor!
Review: I am a committeed Lerner-phile, having read her previous books as well. Like her, I am also the mother of two boys. I think that "The Mother Dance" is her best one! Although my children were nearly grown by the time it came out, I identified with her portrayal of young motherhood, and thought she did a great job of normalizing many of the feelings that women have but don't talk about. I gave it to a young (childless) friend of mine to read (OK, she was in her early '30's). A few weeks later, I asked her what she thought, and she said that until she read the book, she didn't know if she could be a good mom herself. But now she knew--she wanted to go ahead and have a baby. Thus, in addition to being humorous and supportive to mothers, it's changed at least one life profoundly!! I would strongly recommend it, for moms and would-be moms.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent for all PARENTS with children all ages
Review: I am a fairly "new" mom with two daughters. One is three and the other is 8 months. There is always TONS of advice everyone has to offer new parents ... or parents entering those "new" stages in a childs life. Some advice is good, some rather questionable and some completely horrible (likely from loving in-laws and over bearing mothers of our own). It gets so confusing! SO ... taking it just as it is ... it is all just advice. For my own piece of mind, I have always enjoyed reading ... especially parenting/self-improvement books. This book by Dr. Lerner rates up there in the top 5! She does an excellent job at acknowledging your "true feelings" as a parent, not what your "suppose to feel". I would love to talk to Dr. Lerner when my daughters reach each of those "stages" ... especially the ones where I might want to overreact! Not because she is a DR ... but because she is a mother too. Parenting has it's good days and it's bad days. You always love your children and they always love you ... and the days you are not at your best ... your still a good momma (and they are still good kids)! I have since purchased her book "The Dance of Intimacy" and look forward to starting it soon.
Rating: 
Summary: Depressing!
Review: I found this book to be well-written, humorous and honest. The author does a good job discussing some of the various "larger societal forces" that help to shape our choices as women and as mothers. Of particular interest to me was the connection between how we relate to our children and how we related to others in our "first family" or "family of origin." This book covered topics I have not seen discussed in other parenting books - for example, the author discusses "empty-nest-syndrome" and how we are affected by gender roles. That all being said, I was turned off by the bleak picture she presented of stay-at-home mothers. I felt she presented this option as something women are "forced" to do, or end up doing because they are on "automatic pilot." The author makes references to how women lose themselves, their power, and their money if they stay at home. And throughout reading this, I couldn't help but ponder the title - "...How Children Change Your Life". It seems rather ironic because I got the feeling the author was hell-bent on NOT changing her life after her children came along.
If you can get past the negative homemaker/full-time mother references, this book has information that is interesting and helpful and it is also humorous. I do feel, however, that a book that does ALL mothers more justice is Kathleen A. Kendall-Tackett's "The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood."
Rating: 
Summary: Good, except...
Review: I found this book to be well-written, humorous and honest. The author does a good job discussing some of the various "larger societal forces" that help to shape our choices as women and as mothers. Of particular interest to me was the connection between how we relate to our children and how we related to others in our "first family" or "family of origin." This book covered topics I have not seen discussed in other parenting books - for example, the author discusses "empty-nest-syndrome" and how we are affected by gender roles. That all being said, I was turned off by the bleak picture she presented of stay-at-home mothers. I felt she presented this option as something women are "forced" to do, or end up doing because they are on "automatic pilot." The author makes references to how women lose themselves, their power, and their money if they stay at home. And throughout reading this, I couldn't help but ponder the title - "...How Children Change Your Life". It seems rather ironic because I got the feeling the author was hell-bent on NOT changing her life after her children came along.
If you can get past the negative homemaker/full-time mother references, this book has information that is interesting and helpful and it is also humorous. I do feel, however, that a book that does ALL mothers more justice is Kathleen A. Kendall-Tackett's "The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood."
Rating:
Summary: A worthwhile read for moms at every stage of the game.
Review: I loved Harriet Lerner's other "dance" books. At first I thought this one was going to be more of a guide for the mom-to-be. However, as I kept reading I realized Lerner was taking us through the stages from birth to the young adult's departure from home. Giving us examples from her own life as a mother of two sons, her friends' and clients' lives Lerner marvelously illustrates the various difficulties many women/families can experience. Lerner admits she was not a perfect mother. That admission makes it possible for us, the readers to evaluate our own weaknesses without the customary guilt that usually accompanies such assessments. Topics discussed include power struggles, talking with difficult kids, and sibling relationships. She even mentions the unmentionable-mothers hating their children. I have already recommended this book to a friend for the the last section which deals with the departure of the youngest child from home.
Rating:
Summary: Depressing!
Review: I was looking for some advice on how to move from being career-centered to being family-centered. I did not find anything to help me in Lerner's book. I am not sure what Lerner's motive was in writing this book. Some people should not have children, and I believe Lerner falls into this category. I actually ended up feeling sorry for her about halfway through the book because child rearing (what little she seemed to do) was obviously very painful for her. I could not find one piece of sound advice. The section on nutrition, where Lerner allowed her young boys to shop for and eat whatever they pleased whenever they pleased, was absolutely preposterous. She did not appear to know her children at all. The book seemed like one big apology to them.
Rating:
Summary: Not for the stay at home mom
Review: I was very disappointed in this book. Being a new mother I thought I would be able to relate, enjoy and learn from Harriet Lerner, however all I learned is that I would be better off reading other books. This entire book is nothing but reference to other authors, Drs, psychologists and more. I got a strong sense that Ms Lerner does not have an original thought of her own. Some of the anecdotes she uses about her family are humorous and entertaining but reading this book was more like eavesdropping on the mothers table in my local Starbucks. ...returns based on whether you liked a book or not, this one would be going back.
Rating:
Summary: Helpful, positive, a good start
Review: The book has a very positive and encouraging outlook on how each of us can be instrumental in changing relationships. I do not think this is for women-only; men too can find all the examples to be useful. Very readable, easy to grasp concepts, though I would say it does not give a very in-depth analysis of things. It is short on the psycho-babble (a good thing) and really geared towards everybody. In some ways, the book is a bit over-simplified and overly optimistic about people's abilities to make these kinds of changes. However, all in all, this book is empowering and useful for just about everyone.
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