Back When We Were Grownups

Rating:
Summary: not Ladder of Years, but a great read
Review: I've read all of Anne Tyler's work, and love most of her earlier books. However, my favorite book by far was 'Ladder of Years' so I don't think that her knack for writing is fading with every book. But this book lacks the magical quality of 'Ladder' and is not as easy an escape.
It seems that Tyler has fallen into a weird trend where all her characters never find relief within the pages of her books.

'Back When We Were Grownups' is yet another story of a family woman who gets no respect from her gigantic brood. In an effort to discover the self she feels she lost to her family, Rebecca (the protagonist of this story) revisits her youth, and while she doesn't find the enlightment she was seeking within her memories and rekindled friendships, she does make some startling and touching observations of herself through the pages of the book.

Tyler's beautiful prose makes this a joy to read, despite the fact that there are too many characters to keep track of (4 daughters, their husbands, their children, and their step children and all are featured prominently in the book!)
I admit that I did put the book down after the first chapter, disgusted by Tyler's insistence on portraying all families (especially children) as indifferent and quirky. Not all of us are like this. The first few pages are very difficult to get through with twenty names and characters to sort out. Rebecca's daughter's names were enough to make me want to not pick up the book again (Biddy, Patch, NoNo, and Min Foo, plus a husband named Jeep - try to keep them straight!) But I persisted after a few days, and am glad I did.

Not Tyler's best...but a good book. If you can get beyond wanting to yell at Rebecca "take a stand, tell them how you feel, stop playing the saint!", you will probably enjoy it. I did.

Rating:
Summary: Vintage Tyler
Review: If you are already a fan of Tyler's you will love this new novel. If you haven't tried her yet, this is a wonderful one to start with. Nobody gets into the lives and minds of their characters quite like Anne Tyler. She understands them, their motivations, their feelings, their joys and regrets.

This is a novel about families and how the lives of sometimes mis-matched people end up intimately connected by a quirk of nature or marriage. Rebecca Davitch married for love and then lost her husband far too early, inheriting a typically dysfunctional family, including an elderly live-in uncle, and a business organising and hosting parties. Just turned 50 and at a family picnic Rebecca begins to look inward and back, asking that tricky question often avoided - "what if? - exploring the corners unturned, the roads untravelled, that have placed her in this moment in this unexpected life she is living. Like all families, the Davitches are ripe with tensions and misunderstandings, but also with love and affection, and inspite of everything that has happened, inspite of the "might have beens", Rebecca is and remains the heart and soul of the family.

Anne Tyler writes with real warmth and insight and brings all the characters to life. She writes like a dream and draws you into the world she has created. Not to be missed.

Rating:
Summary: Interesting, thought-provoking read...
Review: I enjoyed Back When We Were Grownups much more than I expected to. I have never been a huge fan of Anne Tyler, but I couldn't resist this novel's compelling subject matter. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked this book. There were some minor things that bothered me, which I will discuss later, but all in all, this novel is an enjoyable and quick read, which I found rather thought-provoking. The thought-provoking nature of the novel made it an irresistible read. Rebecca, the fifty-three-year-old protagonist, wonders how she ended up as she did after a particularly bad day with her extended family. Her thoughts send her in pursuit of the life that she could have had, had she not married as she did when she was twenty. She married a divorced man, thirteen years her senior, with three young daughters and a family business to run. He died several years later and she essentially took over his life, raising his daughters (and one of her own), looking after his elderly uncle, and running the family business, which is hosting parties and events. Thirty-three years later, she wonders, did she make the right choice, is this as good as life gets for her?

The novel answers that question in a very satisfying, non-simplistic, non-formulaic manner. The novel is honest and based in reality which I found refreshing and enjoyable. Rebecca is a likeable, albeit imperfect protagonist. There were times in the novel when I just wanted to shake her, but most of the time she's a level headed, mature woman. The other thing about the novel that I had difficulty liking was the part of the four daughters. Their selfish behavior was a little over the top for me. Other than that, Back When We Were Grownups is a compelling, thought-provoking tale that centers on the ever elusive question of how one's life might have turned out had we made different choices. That alone makes the novel a worthy read.

Rating:
Summary: Tyler once again brings characters to vivid life.
Review: In "Back When We Were Grownups", Anne Tyler brings the reader a story of a woman on a journey of self-discovery. Rebecca Davitch is a well-meaning grandmother of 53 who finds herself re-evaluating her self worthiness when , at the beginning of the book, an engagement picnic she has planned for her youngest step daughter goes awry. The reader is presented with a woman whose life long duty has been to arrange parties and outings for others. And as often as not she has found herself acting as a diplomat for many of these same people when they cannot bring themselves to appreciate one another. Once the ill-fated picnic is over, Rebecca embarks on a personal journey of discovery that reaquaints herself with who she is.Anne Tyler is one of America's most gifted writers. One has the sense that every character she has written exists somewhere in Tyler's life. The characters are so vividly drawn that it is almost impossible for this reader not to feel as though he has met and spoken with Rebecca Davitch and those around her. The story gets off to a quick start taking the reader on a remarkable journey of change.

Rating:
Summary: Not brilliant, but at least it's Anne Tyler
Review: I must say that I have to agree with a few other comments in other rviews regarding characters names. In the beginning I found it a bit annoying to read names like NoNo and I kept thinking, "Why does Anne Tyler keep saying this man is gay when he has a wife?" Well, the names get straightened out, and the gay husband explained, but the names still annoy and the gay character, while refreshing (I believe it's the first time a gay character has appeared in a Tyler novel) in concept, is little more than a stock figure. I agree that many of Beck's children and grandchildren are whiny and annoying. But that's the case, often, in real life, and unless we remove ourselves from our families, we're stuck with them. As Beck's story continues, I found myself interested enough about her to ignore the pricklings of annoyance I felt when some selfish relation appeared. It's to Tyler's credit that I found myself caring in the end for Beck and her resolution. Not a great book, but a so-so Anne Tyler novel is still miles better than most. I would recommend a different book, though - Ladder of Years, Breathing Lessons or especially Searching for Caleb (my absolute favorite) to anyone reading Anne Tyler for the first time.

Rating:
Summary: Back when we were Anne Tyler fans
Review: This is how I picture it. Ms. Tyler is sitting at a diner in downtown Baltimore and she scribbles the opening line of her new novel, Back When We Were Grownups. She knows it's a great line, in fact, in may be one of the best opening sentences in recent memory. Nobody ever grows up to be what they thought they'd be. But then, oh then, she writes the rest of the book trying to capture the magic of the opening sentence. And it never quite explains anything.

Sure there are quirky Tyler characters with equally quirky names like Poppy and NoNo. But they are not particularly interesting people and you can't ever figure out why Rebecca, the heroine, sticks around to cook, clean, babysit and entertain them. They certainly give nothing back to her. She's not quite a martyr but annoyingly close. She's not quite happy, not quite adventursome and anything would be better than looking up an old boyfriend who is a hopeless nerd. Sigh. If only there was a resolution that worked instead of self examination that leaves the reader and the poor heroine stuck in a boring book/life.

Life doesn't have to be mundane chores if one chooses to see the magic in those chores. Ms. Tyler used to have characters that found something, solace, fun, challenge, within the daily grind. But this heroine only gets points for realizing life passed her by, instead of doing something about it. The only character I ever become remotely interested in was her dead husband Joe. He sounded kinda cool, someone I would like to hang out with. Not Rebecca though. After reading this book, I feel like learning to sky dive or take painting lessons or go on an Outward Bound adventure. ANYTHING is better than wringing my hands and lamenting my life. Rebecca Babe, get a haircut, lose some weight, take a risk, answer an Internet love ad, just do something. Don't let Ms. Tyler stick you in a Baltimore rowhouse waiting to babysit your next grandchild.

Rating:
Summary: Don't overlook this quiet book; an enjoyable read
Review: This was my first Anne Tyler book. The first sentence intrigued me, so I bought the book. I first read the readers' reviews of the book and, of course, didn't see a consensus of opinions. I really didn't care 'cause I knew I was going to read it anyway. If you're used to reading action, fast-paced, suspenseful books, then this can be a bit of a turn. Ms. Tyler can write about the ordinary with flare. I would say she's the Jerry Seinfeld of writing.

The premise, to those who don't know, is whether Rebecca, the main character, has actually chosen the life that she was meant to live. If we are in our 40's or above, many times we look back on our lives and can see where the path we were taking suddenly changed. It usually occurs in our 20's, but whose to say it can't happen in our 30's, 40's, or whenever. We can be constantly striving to better our lives and, in so doing, our paths can change again.

At a family picnic where her incredibly wacky family are doing their usual wacky stuff, Rebecca muses on that subject. She decides to go home to see her mother (I sure wouldn't want to go home too often if she were MY mother) as well as an old boyfriend. As we get to meet this old boyfriend, I thought, "Oh my God, no. This guy is so bleak, and so lifeless, while Rebecca is too alive to be with him." Thank God she comes to her senses. The cutest character is Poppy, the elderly (nearing 100) uncle of her late husband. At his hilarious 100th birthday party (which he's frequently reminding Rebecca of throughout the book), when he's asked to give a speech, Poppy starts droning on, with great detail, on the events of the day.... what he had for breakfast, etc. Ms. Tyler moves us away from Poppy to a frustrated Rebecca who waits interminably until Poppy delivers the detailed account of his momentous day. "Where is he now?" she asks her brother-in-law. "He's eating lunch," he replies. Rebecca and the reader know we have a while to go. Don't we all have relatives like that??!!

In the end, Rebecca realizes that she, indeed, is living the life she was meant to live. But Ms. Tyler doesn't really state that in so many words. The reader just knows that. At least, I knew it.

Back When We Were Grownups is a quiet book, a book about everyday happenings and how the mundane can have a huge impact on us. Don't look for any stupendous finish, or escalating drama, or some unsolved mystery to occur. It's not in this book. It made me think about my own life and the exact time when the path I was moving toward changed. I know, without a doubt, that if I had followed that original path, I would have become a different person. And, incidentally, a person I would not have liked. 30 years later, I can see that. So, for me, I am definitely leading the life I was supposed to. I hope to always keep changing for the better.

So to those who are hesitating to read this book, give it a try, keep an open mind and I think you'll really enjoy it. I did.

Rating:
Summary: A search for self
Review: Rebecca Davitch is 53 years old and suddenly she wonders how she ever got to be the person she is; someone she hardly recognizes and never aspired to be. As a young woman her path was set. She was a history major in college and was "engaged to be engaged" to a solemn young man named Will. While she is at a party, she meets Joe Davitch whose first words to her are "You seem to be having a good time." From that time on Rebecca goes with the flow, marrying Joe and becoming a step-mother to his three daughters. She wholeheartedly enters into his family life and is an active participant in the family business Open Arms, in which she holds parties at the family's large estate. Now Rebecca wonders what life would have been like if she had finished college and married Will, as she had planned. She begins seeking her girlhood self, even going so far as to contact Will in an attempt to rekindle their old relationship. As she frantically searches for her true self, she ignores the life that is all around her until her octagenarian roommate, Poppy, sets her straight. This is an interesting novel with several universal themes and well-drawn characters. It moves slowly at times, but is certainly worth the read.

Rating:
Summary: A slow family album
Review: Tyler is to be commended for a beautiful first sentence "rebecca davitch found she had turned into the wrong person." Sadly, I felt the movement and pace of the novel fell downhill from there. A woman facing mid-life and identity crisis, Rebecca Davitch fills her days with throwing parties, being the jolly event planner in her mid-fifties. As we discover, her jollity is but an act; the woman inside aches for a past she cannot recapture. The thought that comes to mind here is from Ecclesiastes: "Sadness may sorrow your face, but it sharpens your understanding." Rebecca has been too afraid to show her real self to anyone for years - she hides her sadness and martyrdom sets in. She finally chooses to be proactive and reignite her relationship with a past love - her safety net of sorts - only to learn that she has outgrown him too. The pacing, however, felt wrong - far too slow for a woman who looks to others for fullfilment and satisfaction rather than herself. Initial character development was a little shallow, and Rebecca seemed stereotyped into that middle-aged interfering, busy-body aunt that everyone wishes would just go away - even me! Poppy was a beautiful character, a 99 year old who loved life, and i felt we needed to see more of him and his wisdom, as he could have shed more light in terms of the real meaning of life and family. I still like Tyler, but this was too slow for me - she has done much better in previous works, such as the brilliant Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant. Worth a read, if you have the patience for such a slow plot.

Rating:
Summary: Back in the good old days
Review: Rebecca is a hard nut to crack. I couldn't tell if she was going through a midlife crisis or an identity crisis (or a menopause crisis), or missing her dead husband and yearning for the good old days. She begins by wondering how she has become a person so different from what she was before. But I never get any sense of what she was or even of what she is now, at 53. She was in college before, doing research on a Civil War general and dating Will, a rather dull, studious, and conservative boy. Then she met Joe, a man full of life, laughter, and energy, who was divorced with three daughters. She married Joe. Joe dies young, but from what I can tell, Rebecca was very happy with him. After so many years of being alone, and raising her difficult stepdaughters, Rebecca decides to call her jilted boyfriend Will. Conveniently, Will is just divorced. But now he is more dull and conservative than before, in fact, he's a full-blown obnoxious nerd. It seems that Rebecca made the correct decision not to marry him. So it seems that picking things up with Will, or finishing her college research, or nurturing her troubled, complaining stepdaughters is not going to cure Rebecca of her midlife blues. Now what? At 53, Rebecca is still plenty young enough to make a life for herself. All she has to do is figure out what she wants. This book has a curious way of not resolving anything, but maybe that was the author's intent.