Rating: 
Summary: Not for the Academically Minded
Review: A friend gave me this book because she was offended that someone else had given it to her. I read it because I've always wondered about the ideas behind the terms "dysfunctional family", "inner child", and "co-dependent".Unfortunately, the book didn't help me much with those terms. The author says it's based on a PBS series that he did. Unfortunately, it comes across as if he improvised it. The definitions are imprecise, and for some concepts, it's hard to figure out which sentences ARE the definitions. That makes the conclusions hard to follow. Bradshaw seems to sell a lot of books, so presumably he's touching something in a lot of people. And what he's trying to do is very important. I hope lots of people become better and happier as a result. But between inventing his own slightly-too-cute terms (e.g., "dis-ease", "patriarchal pedagogy", "deep democracy") and presenting things in clever-but-not-useful formats (he summarizes each chapter by a series of notes, each of which begins with the letters that make up a key phrase, e.g., S.T.A.G.E. I. R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y.), he does almost nothing useful for someone who's trying to get an intellectual handle on his field. If I wanted to know more about this field, I'd probably ask "cycworker"!
Rating:
Summary: Not for the Academically Minded
Review: A friend gave me this book because she was offended that someone else had given it to her. I read it because I've always wondered about the ideas behind the terms "dysfunctional family", "inner child", and "co-dependent". Unfortunately, the book didn't help me much with those terms. The author says it's based on a PBS series that he did. Unfortunately, it comes across as if he improvised it. The definitions are imprecise, and for some concepts, it's hard to figure out which sentences ARE the definitions. That makes the conclusions hard to follow. Bradshaw seems to sell a lot of books, so presumably he's touching something in a lot of people. And what he's trying to do is very important. I hope lots of people become better and happier as a result. But between inventing his own slightly-too-cute terms (e.g., "dis-ease", "patriarchal pedagogy", "deep democracy") and presenting things in clever-but-not-useful formats (he summarizes each chapter by a series of notes, each of which begins with the letters that make up a key phrase, e.g., S.T.A.G.E. I. R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y.), he does almost nothing useful for someone who's trying to get an intellectual handle on his field. If I wanted to know more about this field, I'd probably ask "cycworker"!
Rating:
Summary: Not for the Academically Minded
Review: A friend gave me this book because she was offended that someone else had given it to her. I read it because I've always wondered about the ideas behind the terms "dysfunctional family", "inner child", and "co-dependent". Unfortunately, the book didn't help me much with those terms. The author says it's based on a PBS series that he did. Unfortunately, it comes across as if he improvised it. The definitions are imprecise, and for some concepts, it's hard to figure out which sentences ARE the definitions. That makes the conclusions hard to follow. Bradshaw seems to sell a lot of books, so presumably he's touching something in a lot of people. And what he's trying to do is very important. I hope lots of people become better and happier as a result. But between inventing his own slightly-too-cute terms (e.g., "dis-ease", "patriarchal pedagogy", "deep democracy") and presenting things in clever-but-not-useful formats (he summarizes each chapter by a series of notes, each of which begins with the letters that make up a key phrase, e.g., S.T.A.G.E. I. R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y.), he does almost nothing useful for someone who's trying to get an intellectual handle on his field. If I wanted to know more about this field, I'd probably ask "cycworker"!
Rating: 
Summary: Wonderful!
Review: A must for anyone who grew up in an alcoholic family!
Rating: 
Summary: Good but not great
Review: Bradshaw does a good job of helping you identify problems, but doesn't do as well at helping you solve them. It ultimately left me a bit depressed. He also gets a little goofy at the end, talking about people who stick spikes in their veins and then heal themselves, or who only sleep a few hours a week.
Rating:
Summary: Great information, easy to read and understand
Review: Bradshaw presents the information in a very logical, non-threatening way. It was easy to read and understand. It makes so much sense. He gives concrete, workable solutions. I felt very relieved and hopeful after reading the book.
Rating:
Summary: Take a walk
Review: If you are not a professional therapist or academic and want to pick up the book for personal exploration, please don't let the professionals who have commented dissuade you from doing so. What academics rarely get is that it is a long way from the head to the heart. I am not saying that professionals and academics don't have a place. In my opinion Bradshaw's book is clearly not intended as theoretical text. I wonder why the learned folks spend any time at all explaining that in their review of `The Family'. Perhaps they are just looking out for other folks only operating out of their head (occupational hazard perhaps).
I get tired of professionals nit picking every nuance in someone's work. It is as though they need to point out to the laymen that they have a superior understanding of theoretical constructs and I respond: blaa, blaa, blaa, blaaaaa!
I benefited from the book, but my expectations were realistic and it was clear that the book was not written to be a major exhaustive treaty on family systems theory, etc.
I suspect that some theorist's could benefit from the book too if they could stop running to the safety of their theoretical world.
Rating:
Summary: Too long, too repetitive, and somewhat disjointed
Review: In this book, which is based on a TV series for PBS, brought Bradshaw into the public eye. The book essentially describes the impact of growing up in a dysfunctional family. It is an attempt to explain family systems theory in layman's terms. He links our cultural values about children and parenting to the issues of shame, child abuse, eating disorders, and alcoholism. The book has some clear strengths. Bradshaw succeeds in giving a relatively accurate (if somewhat simplistic) description of family systems theory. If you want to understand your own experiences in growing up in a troubled home, this book might help. If you are a student, however, and are trying to learn about family systems theory, this book could confuse you. Bradshaw tries to blend together the work of a variety of theorists, and in doing so he loses the meaning of the individual's work. His own theories are merely a reworking of other great theorists. The biggest problem with that is that he links people together that would actively disagree with one another if they were on a stage together. And some of them would really disagree with the way Bradshaw has reinterpreted their work. Satir is not interchangeable with Bowen. The average reader will not notice this, however, nor do they necessarily need to. Bradshaw also talks alot about 12 step programs, and seems to believe that everyone can and will benefit in participating in such a group. He completely dismisses or ignores the writers who would argue that 12 step programs are ineffective for many. He draws on his own experiences, which is fine, but he generalizes these experiences to such an extent that he seems to believe that everyone must be just like him. He also veers off into left field with a chapter on Neuro Linguistic Programming, which does not seem to fit with the rest of the book. The best thing about the book, aside from the explanation of how family systems function, is that the book contains individual chapters on each type of dyfunctional family. He uses mnemonics to help people remember the characteristics he is describing. Although this part of the book was repetitive (most dysfunctional families have alot in common, which Bradshaw acknowledges), it was easy to read and it was useful. I recognized myself in some of the behaviour patterns described. In short, if you want a book written for laypersons to help you understand some of the things that happened in your childhood, this book might help you. If you are a looking for a strong theoretical book you could use for research purposes, you will need to look elsewhere.
Rating:
Summary: Book (good in parts) about The Family as an emotional SYSTEM
Review: The central idea of Bradshaw's book is an interesting one: that in recent decades, psychological research has begun to focus on seeing the family as an emotional system, and that one can't just study an individual's psychological difficulties without seeing his or her role in the family & the family's interactions. Families each have their own unique culture which creates an emotional environment that children learn from & absorb. People growing up in healthy families become mature healthy people, who have their own identity & have a healthy separation from their family; they have learned that they are free to feel what they feel and express it even if it goes against the family "script," roles, or views. If there are disagreements, then people fight fairly, with nobody is trying to manipulate each other or use each other to satisfy unmet emotional needs. Bradshaw then looks at the dynamics in dysfunctional families. He examines, in turn, families with alcoholics, families who are physically or emotionally abusive, and those that are co-dependent. These families may have problems with enmeshment, guilt, control, shame, family secrets, continuous fighting or no fighting because "wrong" emotions are forbidden. He highlights the fact that dysfunctional families often have dysfunctional kids, who then seek out, find, and marry other dysfunctional people (since they act in a familiar, though dysfunctional, way). In this way, certain family problems such as alcoholism, violence, and so on can be handed down across generations. Because of this, one should examine one's problems in the context of one's family, and always look for the "problem behind the problem" (i.e. ask what drives one to drink? Rather than just address alcoholism as an addiction). Bradshaw goes on to give a 12-step plan for recovery to escape this pattern. The 12-step program he outlines mimics the one that Alcoholics Anonymous uses (Bradshaw is himself a recovering alcoholic). Overall, I found the book to have several pluses and minuses. On the plus side, I thoroughly enjoyed the first third of the book, which laid out the main idea that the family must be understood as a system. The rest of the book amplifies and repeats the ideas in the first third, then goes into detail about the dynamics in various dysfunctional families & recovery. These details seemed to be somewhat similar, redundant, and somewhat obvious, though they will probably resonate with those stuck in those particular situations. Next, one slightly annoying technique that Bradshaw uses is that he often spells out a phrase, then use each letter in that phrase to write a paragraph about a related idea (for example, F.A.M.I.L.Y => F=Feedback loops are important...; A=Autonomy is key...; M=Marriage is a chief Component of families....etc.). Also, Bradshaw seems to emphasize that "shame" is the root cause of almost every problem he describes; I thought that this oversimplifies the issues involved. Finally, the book seems (and is, I suppose) geared towards a mass audience, so it's not a deep psychological text and at times it seems to have some "pop psychology" elements. But as I said before, I thought the first third of the book was good & worth reading, since it covers the main ideas. The rest of the book, about recovery & specific situations of abuse, can be skimmed or read in depth if one particular family situation applies to you.
Rating:
Summary: You Can Learn to Love Yourself!
Review: This book saved my life! After years of counseling with therapists who were just counter-transferring their own unresolved issues onto me, Bradshaw helped me see the roots of my "mental illness" were from my upbringing in a patriarchal, totalitarian, authoritarin, rigid family & religious system. I was always made to feel by these systems that there was something defective about ME when, in actuallity, THEY were highly dysfunctional. In turn, that led me to seek therapy by therapists indoctrinated in these same systems. After realizing that going to my church for counseling was actually the antithesis of psycological & spiritual growth, I discovered the tools in Bradshaw's important work to heal myself. As a theologian, Bradshaw beautifully discerns the difference between spirituality & religion - that the more religious a person is, the less spiritual they are. That mature, spiritual people accept others just as they are & that religious people & systems narcissistically strive to create cookie-cutter people who act, think & believe that same way they do. I've come to the conclusion that every therapist I hired chose counseling as a way to avoid looking at their own issues. Receiving a different diagnosis from each therapist proves this to me. This comes without blame directed toward my primary caregivers as I realize that they were "mystified" by the same family & religious systems. I will never again look outside myself for approval. I honestly feel that Bradshaw's work (and the other psychologists he gives praise & credit to) is the most profound psychological & spiritual work of the 20th century. If you read this amazing book your life will never be the same. You will be unable to live your life the way you always have & it will change the way you see yourself & others forever. For the first time, I have made real, effective, positive changes in my life. My relationships are healthy & nurturing. I have self-esteem - something I thought was impossible. When friends & family comment on the amazing changes I've made in my life & ask how I did it, I don't say a thing. I just hand them a copy of this book...
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