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Summary: Dangerous lies
Review: And like all lies, this one has a grain of truth. There is a small number of psycho men who are exactly like this book portrays. What this book fails to point out is that women flock to these men in great numbers, particularly those violent enough to be in prison, ignoring, even abandoning decent men, to do so. Further, MOST abuse is actually of women to men. What women call abuse, in our culture of victimhood, is men simply saying no to abuse. Often, he is severely punished for this by being cut off from his children and having unreasonable child support attached to him. There is a real problem today because most smart men are refusing to marry/have children, under any circumstances, in order to reserve their right to leave without penalty. This book is dangerous in that it makes women feel justified in doing the most heinous acts as punishment for imagined slights. All the while, ignoring the simple fact that truly abusive men are quite rare and deviant in all ways....making them easy to spot and avoid. A woman (WAY too many women do this) has to work hard to find an abusive man. The others are just fooling themselves and destroying their lives and the lives of their families in the process. The bottom line is this. It is extremely easy to find a man who will cooperate with you in having a warm, loving, satisfying relationship based on mutual respect. If you both do this for an extended amount of time, even the most hardened victim of divorce will marry you and you two can be happy, for as long as you continue to do the behaviors of love and respect. Men who do this are common. But, women who do this are rare indeed. Be that woman, and choose your man wisely.....and your life will be good.
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Summary: Doesn't blame the victim but gives her power
Review: Domestic, physical and emotional abuse is devastating. Those who say "why don't they just leave" miss the point. On the other hand, victims don't have to stay victims. This book could save someone's life, and more, their soul. Susan Forward is wonderful.
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Summary: This book can help you change your life.
Review: Don't be put off by the glib title. This book is a well rounded exploration of family interactions in homes where the father has a low opinion of women. It explains how a child is affected and her confidence and self esteem undermined. It discusses roles that the wife of such a man can get caught in and often passes on to her daughters. It even explores how a man gets this way with sympathy and understanding. Most importantly, it provides exercises and guidelines to help the reader change her current behavior and renegotiate her relationship with her partner. The book was a revelation for me. Parts of it were straight from my childhood. Seeing it in print, I was able to identify ways in which I had been affected, and with that information I was able to make changes, both in my life and, more importantly, in the way I relate to myself.
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Summary: Rite of Passage: Every woman I know gets burned once!
Review: Every woman I have ever met has had at least one of these men enter their lives and undermine their self-confidence. Although I read this book many years ago, it is a benchmark against I measure all other relationship books. Every 18 year old girl should read this book, maybe their mothers too. This type of man is all too common and they are modern day vampires slowly draining the life out of their prey. My father killed my mother by grinding her down slowly day by day.She died of colon cancer to get away from my dad believing she was useless and no good, it was an untimely end, to a once self-confident, vibrante and talented women, she was 50. I got involved with one of these types of men and out of desperation I went hunting in the bookstore to find SOMETHING. I couldn't be alone in this I thought. Thanks, Susan you saved my life. These men are so charming, at first, they have such charming personalities,a dream come true, till you wake up in their nightmare. Many girls in our society have emotionally unavailable fathers and will do anything to get their fathers attention.Good grades and cartwheels just to get dad's attention and love. Those young girls replay this wound by being attracted to emotionally unavailable men. At first these men are very attentive and flattering, but it soon turns ugly.The dynamic is in place, reward and punishment. I have even SEEN and HEARD young boys teaching other boys to use the same ugly techniques as outline in this book to undermine a womans self-confedence and control her,eventually to destroy her. GET THIS BOOK.
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Summary: This book Saved my Sanity!
Review: Finally, a book that described my relationship perfectly. So many other books address men who are physically abusive, but what about those who slowly wear you down with manipulation and subtle verbal insults - men who have great jobs, men who everyone (outside the home) think are fabulous, men who are great friends to others and great workers. I live with someone who everyone else adores, but at home he turns into Mr. Hyde. He then blames me for his change in behavior. I thought I was alone (and it was indeed my fault) until I found this book. What a difference it has made in my life. I now know, without a doubt, that his behavior is not my fault. Susan's account of how men end up resenting women is right on for this relationship. And how they redirect their childhood experiences toward their intimate partners instead of where it should be directed. One writer says she thinks these relationships can be saved. The ONLY way they can be saved is for the men to realize how they got this way and be willing to do a huge amount of work to change their behaviors towards their intimate partners. If a man cannot do this, then the relationship cannot be saved. Why waste years of your life hoping a man will change. Susan says they don't don't suffer like the women they are with and I think that is true. For the first time in my life, I developed anxiety, depression, and significant weight gain from trying to "make him see the light". I now realize that it is not worth my health to try to get a man who has deep resentment towards women to change. I hope every woman in this situation realizes that, if you talk to the man about this and he does nothing consistently to change (counseling) than you are better off leaving and resuming a normal life where you can be truly happy. If you meet someone who seems too good to be true, check him out. Does he have broken relationships & marriages? How is his relationship with his mother? If you feel uneasy about him or he starts to put you down little by little or blames you for his behaviors at home - get Susan's book, then run for your life!
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Summary: the best equipment a woman can carry into life..............
Review: having been through so much in my life with these kinds of men, i really thought i understood it all.This book taught me twice what i had previously known,and gave me insights to so many things.It showed me how to identify all sorts of abusers BEFORE they had a chance to abuse me..it helped change my mindset, and carry forward in a much healthier lifestyle,and helped me help others see to be healthier as well......thank you so much for this wonderful and insightful book !!!!!!! Godspeed you for your efforts and help !!!!GOOD GIFT IDEA FOR OLDER TEEN GIRLS!!!!
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Summary: A welcome eye-opener for any woman trapped in a bad situatio
Review: How do you treat someone you really love? What if your husband, the man who once adored you, increasingly belittles you, threatens you, and tries to control you? What happens when you have to hide your most joyous moments from your husband? What happens when you start to believe his attacks, blaming yourself unfairly, becoming more submissive and depriving yourself of the very goals that bring you pleasure? How do you break out of this vicious cycle?
Dr. Forward's book is a welcome eye-opener for any woman trapped in this situation. She shows how this destructive pattern in relationships develops, what its origins are from childhood experiences, and most importantly, how to regain your self-confidence and the courage to leave the relationship, physically and psychologically. She offers specific advice on how to deal with your own self-sabotage, how to set clear boundaries, how to get professional help and how to effectively end the relationship.
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Summary: Life saver came too late
Review: I am a man, and this is a book that every woman should read. I am desperate to sneak this book to my mother to help her understand her own problem in my father. If only she could read this then she could see some logic and be able to take some action to deal with and perhaps leave what is an emotionally abusive relationship. I identified my own issues years ago and broke the cycle. My father never will and continues to control, badger, undermine the confidence of and kill my mother slowly with his abuse, and she will never leave becasue she is addicted to being abused. This book will change her life, it changed mine and can change others
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Summary: This Book Helped me more than anything else.
Review: I am not usually a person who recommends books online but this is the exception. I was given this book from my mother's friend, who is a survivor of one of the most abusive and controlling relationships, I have ever heard. So bad in fact that she lived in her son's bedroom for three years. She gave me this book because it helps shows that it isn't you but them. After reading this book, I could see what my ex-boyfriend was doing. How he would tell me that I am the greatest thing in his life and in the next breathe, I was no good, foolish and naive-in order to control me and eventually break me. Not all men are like this, but it helps you realize the ones who are and to learn to say I am better than that.
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Summary: I HAD to reply to "Dangerous Lies" by reader from NJ
Review: I am suspicious, reviewer from NJ, why you even read this book. Looks to me like it was more of a "how to" manual for you than anything. Gotta say, keep being honest like that and I'm sure you'll have the love of your life in no time. ;-P
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