Bamboo Dragon: Its a Jungle Out There and the Destroyer May Become the Next Endangered Species (Action/Adventure Series, 108)

Rating:
Summary: Pale Piece of Pig's Ear!
Review: Do we really need to go over this horrible book point by point? I think not. Here's what we do instead: Write a letter to Gold Eagle (an imprint of Harlequin books) and tell them how much you disliked the book. Explain (nicely!!) that this is not the type of Destroyer book you plan on buying in the future. If enough fans of the series do this we might be able to make a difference and make sure no more hacks do any more damage to Remo and Chiun

Rating:
Summary: Good News, this is not the worst Destroyer. Bad news, #109.
Review: I did not buy 108, but borrowed a copy. My lender said that if the book were returned I could never borrow another. This is the beginning of the end, the author is ignorant of his subject and the publishers have not responded to their customers. I am sorry to report that I have read 109 and Remo shows fear of guns, Chuin agrees with Smith and it DOES get worse from there. I gnash my teeth in frustration and will not purchase another Destroyer until I read a positive review or a statement by the publishers that they are aware of the problem and are working to correct it. Tom M.

Rating:
Summary: Very disappointed with the book...
Review: It was as soon as the first few pages that I realized that this book was different. The writing style was very descriptive, very detailed, but a little sterile. It was blatantly obvious that there was a different author at the helm. There was very little dialogue, which was something I found a little strange, and maybe a little disheartening; past Destroyer novels relied on character development through conversation as opposed to narrative description. The main characters were completely changed. It became quite apparent that the 'new' Remo and the 'old' Remo had very little in common. Once Smith gave Remo his mission, Remo went to work and studied all the pertinent data relevant to this job. He studied dinosaurs, and became somewhat of an expert on them, all within the period of a few weeks... I found this to be very odd, seeing that Remo has never really cared about scientific details. It gave him more of a James Bond/Superspy feel. I got the impression that the author had read through some really old Destroyer issues, and stuck to that feel, as Chuin harped a few times that Remo had to practice and that he had a long ways to go before he became a Master of Sinanju. The plot was dry, and again, gave me the impression that I was reading an Executioner book, or any other story about hired mercenaries. It had your standard 'Merc meets girl, Merc screws girl, Merc saves the world by killing a lot of people' air about it. There was little to no humor in it, and at times, the writing got very cheesy. "You don't mean that," said Chalmers. "Not deep down." "I mean exactly that, you oaf!" "Oaf is it? Rhymes with 'loaf.' I've got a loaf just right to fit your oven, dearie, or I'm very much mistaken." [1] I have to admit, I was not impressed with the choice of plots, there was little thought put into it, especially when the previous author had done a similar dinosaur book just a few issues earlier. It seemed as though the book was pre-written for another series and the name 'Remo' was pasted in where needed. Chuin and Smith were stuffed in as filler, and to add credibility. The major complaint that I had with the book was the character flaws. The author obviously hadn't done a lot of studying of the main characters... even a quick viewing of the movie would have given him a better idea of the depth of the characters. Smith had the word 'Lemony' attached to his name in each paragraph he was in. Chuin was back watching soaps, and didn't talk a heck of a lot, and when he did, he was slamming whites. The Remo flaws were too numerous to mention, so I'll post a few quotes so you'll get the general idea. 'Remo settled for a rubber omelet and a side of rice, the latter more or less impossible to ruin, short of setting it on fire...' [2] '"We have an hour till we catch the flight to Temerloh," he said, negotiating soggy bacon as he spoke. "I hope you're all prepared."' [2] 'Their evening meal was stew of some kind, served in plastic bowls, with home-baked break and lukewarm coffee. Remo made the best of it, resisting temptation to inquire about the meat.' [3] And here are two that blew me away. 'Their evening meal was simple. Freeze-dried stroganoff in plastic pouches that relaxed a bit when it was boiled, producing not-so-haute cuisine with the appeal of third rate airline food. Still, it was filling, washed down with a good supply of strong black coffee. Remo drank and felt the caffeine tuning up his nerves, preparing him to stay alert as long as necessary through the night.' [4] 'The sound of Remo's voice brought six men scrambling to their feet, a couple of them aiming guns in his direction. They were startled, but when they also saw the AK-47 in his hands, and when their leader barked an order to the rank and file, they held their fire.' [5] The book was riddled with enough dietary faux pas' to kill off the entire line of Masters, and the fact that Remo was carrying a weapon... well, that speaks volumes. One thing I found interesting was the mention of Jean Rice. Any new reader would get the impression that she was either dead, or that Remo was ditching her, but that she had been in Remo's life for a long time. Seeing that Jean had just arrived in Remo's life the book before, I was curious as to what references the author was using. The 'token' sex scene was tedious and well out of character for Remo. It (and all the sexual innuendo) could have been pulled out, and it wouldn't have been missed. Count how many times the term "snapped his neck" is used when Remo is taking someone out. It's repetitive to the point that the author's lack of knowledge of the character, and lack of creativity stands out like Gorbachev's birthmark. All in all, I had a very difficult time reading this book. It was bland, boring, and slow. No matter how hard I tried to give this book a fair shake, it kept letting me down. Anyone who spoke to me before I read this book, new I was excited going in... now, I'm not so sure. If I were a new reader, and expected to find satire, action and mysticism, I would be disappointed, and probably wouldn't buy another one. As a long-time reader of the series, I found the character flaws insulting, and I found the fact that the publishers thought that I (as a fan) either wouldn't notice, or wouldn't care. I will buy the next few books... that's guaranteed, and I hope that the writing gets better... if it doesn't though, you won't find me wasting my money on any more, and I'll continue my search for the older issues in the series. I still urge you to buy this book, read it, come up with your own impressions, and make your own decisions. [1] p. 103 [2] p. 112 [3] p. 127 [4] p. 154 [5] p. 21

Rating:
Summary: Good target for the range
Review: Pathetic. More mistakes than Clinton's love life, shallower than a rain puddle, more difficult to endure than a biopsy. In short, the absolute worst tripe I have ever read. It has no place in the series.

Rating:
Summary: Who wrote this book?
Review: Remo drinks coffee! He eats "normal" food! The political jabs are missing! Hopefully, this is not the swan song for this series which, up to now, has been one of the best sources of political satire to date. Cleverly disguised as a "men's adventure" series, most of the books have scathing comments on the American political scene, lifetime US government employees, and the American male macho mystique. I'm hoping that #109 will be better.

Rating:
Summary: A waste of paper
Review: The new author, Mike Newton, knows nothing of Sinanju, the characters, history, or methods. The book has no humor, no wisdom, no characters worth remembering, and was a total waste of time. It has no place in the series. Again, sinanju.com was right

Rating:
Summary: it's a classic!
Review: there are so many errors in this book that it is an instant collectors' item. think about it, in #107, Remo finally found a way to control his pheromones but in this one he actually had to work to get the girl. also, since he cannot eat meat or anything tainted with meat (except for duck or fish) would instantly kill him. finally, since any master of sinanju can stay up for any amount of time, the coffee wouldn't have been needed. what's next for remo, to make up with the dutchman? or better yet, to have sunny joe tell him that remo is not his son on the copra inisfree show

Rating:
Summary: Pathetic. This book was pathetic.
Review: There isn't really much to add to the already scathing reviews already here, so I am just adding my opinion for quantity. I can't figure out how the guy who rated this book a 4 rated it so high. 4 is giving this piece of trash way too much credit. It MIGHT have been a 4 as a stand alone book, but to anyone who follows this series, it is nothing less than an insult. Write to Gold Eagle and tell them what you think of what they have done to the series since Will Murray left as author.

Rating:
Summary: Easily the worst Destroyer book I have ever read.
Review: This book read more like an Executioner book than a Destroyer. There was no humor, no making fun of celebrities. Get this - Remo does Tai Chi every morning, he eats stew (beef & veggies) thruout the whole book, he almost gets stabbed with a spear, he kills someone with a spear, he refers to Smith as "Doc", and flirts for pages with a woman. Chiun actually worries Remo will be shot by someone with an arrow, and refers to Remo as his student (not a Master) numerous times. But best of all, Remo reads and understands scientific texts written by college professors and then is able to successfully pass himself off as an expert on snakes later. This book was not a Destroyer book by any stretch of the imagination. What happened to quality control? Don't buy it, I'm sorry I did. It took forever to read, it was so boring. I've read less-than-wonderful Destroyer books before, but this is the first time I've read one where the characters acted out of character.

Rating:
Summary: Worse than a pig's ear
Review: This was without a doubt the WORST attempt at pretending to be a destroyer novel, I've ever read. I mean come on...Remo eating meat...Remo using a spear...Absolutly none of the wonderful anti-PC counterplay and "no sacred cows" that makes "The Destroyer" so much fun to read. My recommendation is to burn a $5 dollar bill.

You will:

1. Save the shipping

2. Not have to read the novel

3. Be able to say that you paid for the entire series