Rating:  Summary: Enlightening Review: I am a skeptic and I usually do not like relationship self help books, but this one offers such practical advice, and is such a fun and easy read that I was immediately sold.Rather than telling men and women how they should act/what games they should play, Gray just offers some observations about how men and women ARE -- ie Men are like rubber bands -- they don't pull away because they are manipulative or control freaks, rather it is just the way they are programmed. If you leave them alone, they'll bounce back. This is the kind of insight I could have used in my twenties. Now a just-divorced thirtysomething who has jumped back into the dating scene ("Meeting, Mating and Cheating" by author Orr is another book I highly recommend for a true picture of the online dating world) I am finding John Gray's book a useful resource that helps me keep my head together, and stay cool through the process. I think John Gray is brilliant and I am sure he has saved many relationships.
Rating:  Summary: All that is true, but.... Review: the truth is the sad one. I found that author made great, insightful observations, and I'll be using this book as a guide to dating (amongs some others, like "The Rules", etc). I'm a foreigner who immigrated to the United States; after reading this book and realizing that this is the true state of male/female relationships in this country (yes, this way is specific to the US and, may be, Western Europe; things are not this way in other places--men/women are way more open, sincere, spontaneous, emotional, etc overseas)--I should say, after reading this book: I'm not surprised that so many people in the US turn to homosexual relationships. When relations with the opposite gender become so deprived of fun, governed by the rules, so artificial, fake, stressful, when a date is "like a job interview", etc: one might rather chose to be gay, and understandably!
Rating:  Summary: All Stages Are Necessary Review: The book describes the five stages of courtship: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy, engagement. Although different people have called these stages different things, the second stage is the one that is unique to this book. When a couple begins dating, there is inevitably a period of uncertainty. Even if someone expresses his undying love on Friday night (and really means it), he can change his mind by Saturday morning. This period of uncertainty can really throw the other person off. "How can he possibly not love me today, when he loved me yesterday? What happened? What changed?" As a dating expert, I know first-hand that people are most confused by this period of uncertainty. And John Gray uncovers another gem-much uncertainty is caused by rushing intimacy. Once you understand this concept that, your next relationship will have a much greater chance of success if you follow the five stages of courtship in the order they were intended. This book is more like reading Shakespeare than flipping through the pages of Cosmopolitan. John Gray's writing style reflects the fact that he spent many years in school, writing thesis after thesis. Although it may be more fun to watch Sex and the City, reading this book will be a lot cheaper than reclining on a therapist's couch. Plus, you'll be one step closer to a lasting relationship.
Rating:  Summary: Some Good Advise Review: Mars and Venus On A Date is indeed a very enriching read. Many but not all romantic relationships do fall into John Gray's five stages of Attraction, Uncertainty, Exclusive, Intimacy, and Marriage. The attraction levels of Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, and Spiritual are explained quite well from both the Venus and Mars perspective. Common arguments are discussed in great detail. Never try to solve a woman's problem and never offer unsolicated advice to a man. Also to either sex, just apologize without making excuses. Admit your faults and the other party will be more forgiving. I don't necesarilly agree with Gray's assessment that a woman should not reach over to open the car door for a man early in the dating process. Truthfully its a minor issue and its not worth the emphasis that it was given. Good emphasis on what men and women need in a partner and their lives. Men like to feel that what they have to offer is needed. Its Ok to use men to a point. Women don't want to have to do it all. They get depressed if they realize that they have to do everything themselves. Some good analysis and common sense. Overall it gets my seal of approval.
Rating:  Summary: Love & Marriage Review: Great book for newly found relationships. It helps men and women understand how to love one another and communicate effectively.
Rating:  Summary: What can I say Review: Yet another Mars vs. Venus, you've read one, you've read them all! You know, these books are actually very easy to read (and quick). It's not extremely intellectual and you won't want to teach it in a class, but it actually has some good pointers in it and provides some insights. It's not a reference book, but it's fairly organized so you can "look things up" on a need basis.
Rating:  Summary: This book is a good guide to *some* but not *all* people Review: I bought this book because I was trying to understand a relationship I was in. I am a 20something woman who was dating a 20something man. As I read the book I started realizing he was playing the *FEMALE* role. I think a lot of what Grey has to say is valid - just not for all people. Particularly not for people under 30 who may have been raised in a radically different social climate than their parents were. here's a hint. If you are at all a member of Generation X - THROW AWAY YOUR DATING BOOKS. "Mars/Venus", "The Rules" don't work on people of our generation. Instead I recommend you pick up a book called "If the Buddha Dated" by Charlotte Kasl, which poses the radical idea that we are all from Earth. Better yet why doesn't somebody write a dating book that applies to our age group, and its different gender ideas?
Rating:  Summary: Keep your pencil handy; you'll want to take notes Review: Heard the taped version of MARS AND VENUS ON A DATE by John Gray . . . extremely informative (at least to me) tour of the five stages of dating: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy, and engagement. Gray presents ideas on how to find your soul mate, as well as thoughts on how to create a loving and mutually fulfilling relationship . . . he has the ability to make sense out of ordinary situations that appear easy to handle, yet in reality are anything but that. I know I liked the material, in that I had to get a copy of the book (after listening) so that I could share just a few of the many memorable passages . . . among them: * When you [a man] make a mistake, use a negative adjective--a "nadjective"--to describe yourself or what you did. These are a few examples: I'm sorry that I was late. . . . I was really inconsiderate. I'm sorry about the things I said yesterday . . . I thought about it and realized that I was overreactive. I'm sorry I didn't call you back sooner. You're right; I was really insensitive. I'm sorry that I forgot to get the tickets. It was really selfish of me. I'm sorry you felt excluded at the party. . . I was inconsiderate, it was really mean. I am really sorry about the things I said. I was really being defensive. * Women will appreciate any sincere compliment, but when a man puts a little more thought into his words, she will like it more. . . . The more special the adjective, the more special she feels. These are some examples: PLAIN COMPLIMENT (PC) vs. JUICY COMPLIMENT (JC) PC, That is a nice picture. JC, You are incredibly artistic. PC, You look good tonight. JC, You look magnificent tonight. PC, You have a nice smile. JC, You have a radiant smile. PC, You look good. JC, You are so gorgeous. PC, You look nice. JC, You are so lovely. PC, You look nice. JC, You look beautiful. PC, That is a nice dress. JC, You look so exquisite in that dress. PC, You have nice eyes. JC, You have such a special sparkle in your eyes. Even a plain compliment can be juiced up with any of these five simple words: so, really, very, always, and such. [For example, to juice up the most basic compliment, "You look nice."] 1. You look so nice. (attraction) 2. You look really nice. (interest) 3. You look very nice. (enthusiasm) 4. You always look nice. (familiarity) 5. You have such a nice look. (pride) To express more feeling in a compliment, he can just repeat any of these words or combine them like this: 1. You look so, so nice 2. You really look so nice. 3. You look very, very nice. 4. You always look so nice. 5. You really have such a nice look. Women can also use these five words to express more feeling in their indirect compliments to a man. Let's apply these five words to one of the most basic compliments that any man loves to hear, "I am happy we did this." 1. I am so happy we did this. 2. I am really happy we did this. 3. I am very happy we did this. 4. I am always happy to do this. 5. I am so happy; I had such a good time. * When a woman talks about problems, a man mistakenly assumes that she is asking him what to do about them.
Rating:  Summary: Time Travel - Dating Review: I wish that everyone could read this book and start approaching dating this way. Women should stop giving so much up front and let a man give more. Believe me, men get plenty more once they are married and have children. Sure 50/50 is a good idea, but do you see that in any of your other relationships. There is always one person giving more than another at one given point in time. Women lets take a stand and not give it all up front until a man is fully committed. This book just reinforces that value.
Rating:  Summary: Fun to debate the "theories" given in Gray's book Review: Interesting generalizations about men and women. Light reading for those want to verify their own opinions or even just to debate whether or not the author is correct. Like do women really ask too many questions? Even if they do, isn't that how to become informed? Isn't that what scientists do? Look, I already asked three questions.
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