Codependent No More

Rating:
Summary: An must read for those seeking release from co-dependency.
Review: This book describes anyone who is in any kind of co-dependent relationship. It opens your eyes to the real you, what makes you tick, why you tick that way and how to heal yourself. It focuses on how to change your life from chaos to happiness, restoring sanity and begin liking and even loving yourself. It opens your eyes to the types of behaviour patterns we exhibit which actually make these co-dependent relationships even more chaotic. Painfully honest. It will restore hope, give encouragement and incentive to those who seek healing in their lives from the pain of being involved in a relationship with an addicted person.

Rating:
Summary: So interesting and encouraging; I plan on reading it again!
Review: This wonderful book captivated me from the very first words the author wrote: 'This book is dedicated...to me.' Of all the self-help books I've ever read...Codendent No More is the most inspirational and spiritual read. Ms Beattie helped me to tap into my own shortcomings. And I thank her for that because in doing so, I am now TRULY able to move forward in my soul and spiritual growth. I feel like a thousand pounds have been lifted off my shoulders; I feel a sense of peace within myself that I've never felt before. Codependent No More is a 'must read' for anyone who has been searching for positive and meaningful growth within themselves. YoU WoN't Be SoRrY :)

Rating:
Summary: Good book by someone who understands both sides of the exper
Review: As a counselor, Melody Beattie understands well the nature of codependency. As a recovering codependent,she also understands the feelings experienced by the person struggling withthis issue. This book is very blunt, and it has taken me a long time to read it. It is not a one-sitting book. It gives the reader a lot to think about and provides excellent starting points for journaling about one's own experience.

Rating:
Summary: Review from a Recovering Codependent
Review: This book helped me to see myself honestly and within the privacyI needed to face my codependency. Some of the discoveries I havemade have been painful, and the book provided a guide for me to work through them at my pace--I could put it down and pick it up whenever I was ready with no pressure from others. The author has been very straightforward and open in her discussion of both the topic and her own experiences.

Rating:
Summary: My Upside-Down Life Found Balance and I'm Back On My Feet!
Review: Instead of spending hours of your time, expressing how anxious and depressed I was, and for so many years, I'd share a few things that might tell my story of recovery in a more concise mode.

I had everything but had nothing. I had been Senior Class President, Top 2% in the Country during College, successful in modeling and acting, selected as Volunteer of the Year for the State of Iowa and the list of "stuff" could go on an on. I was so empty inside myself that I didn't any longer know how I felt inside. I was losing any sense of who I was.

I'd become someone that functioned to serve, protect, nurture, encourage, forgive and love someone that couldn't love back. I was with the same person, in a marriage, for almost 5 years, and woke up one morning and realized that the person next to me was a stranger who didn't know the real me. The person that my life revolved around, the person that I chose to take care of and "cover" for, just liked having me around so I could pick up the pieces and paint a picture of a relationship and a family that was like "Ozzie and Harriet" so that others would think that everything was just fine. I can't stand the word "fine" anymore. Nothing in my life was fine and it wasn't until I hit bottom and read "Codependent No More:How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself", that my life began to change. The book answered all of my questions and caused me to look deeply at myself and my situation and evalute how sick I was. Yes, I was the sick one in the relationship too.

I thought that I was doing everything right or doing what was right for my relationship. But I didn't ever consider that my own personal cup was empty and the only person who could fill it with healthy things was me. I didn't know that I was controlling others as I only saw myself as a caring and loving person. What had happened is that I went overboard-WAY overboard to the point that I had stopped eating, started using pills to medicate my pain and refused to make changes in my life.

I was scared. I didn't want to be alone in life. What I didn't realize is that I was already alone. I wanted to love and be loved. After reading this incredible book, I realized that I wasn't being loved. I was being used and abused and I needed to hit this emotional bottom before I would accept help. My therapist advised me to purchase "Codependent No More", by Melody Beattie AND to read it. I almost felt odd going into the self-help are of the book store. Little did I know that the healthiest place in any book store is the aisle that reads "Self Help"!

I owe my life to this book and I thank all of the wonderful people who contributed to the stories in this book, that allowed me to move out of my relationship and to enter a long recovery period. I am still in the care of a therapist. Sometimes I act in a codependent fashion. The difference, however, is that I now see red flags that prevent me from getting too deep into relationships that I reach a point where I lose myself.

I offer this review to you as a gift. May this book help you, no matter what your circumstance, and may you take hold of your life again. You deserve to learn how to care for yourself. You deserve to be loved and to learn how to accept the beauty that comes with a healthy relationship.

My Warmest Regards to ALL!

Peter Cannice
Scottsdale, Arizona
Email: [e-mail]


Rating:
Summary: Be careful! This book will strip your emotional well-being.
Review: I read this book in my 20s and it helped me quite a bit with dealing with the issues I had being an adult child of alcholic parents. It was suggested that I read it again by a psychologist because I am going through a divorce from a man that doesn't express his emotions well. At 40, the reading this time took me to the GATES OF HELL! I started questioning myself and who I actually was. It took my best friend to remind me that I wasn't all the things that my STBX was saying I was. His goal is to hurt me anyway that he can. As I said this book did help me in my 20s, but now as a 40 year old woman who has already dealt with her upbringing, it really messed me up for a few days. JUST BE CAREFUL.

Rating:
Summary: great rational to get divorcenow
Review: hey melody beattie! thanx for your explicit rational in getting a divorce now. today's society has made a mockery of marriage. i've never agreed with the concept of marriage and commitment but since i am co-dependant i thought that marriage was a good thing. after reading your book, i must agree marriage and commitment are only signs of weakness. i could have used a surrogate mother or suggested a sperm donor to my EX wife but didn't know that i had a problem with commitment until i read your book.

i am so glad that i am divorced now and recognize that i will never get married again since i would not want to practice "interdependency" with anyone ever again. you should be so proud for condemning marriage and commitment.

thank you for your help in rationalizing the end to my marriage. i will recommend your book to anyone who is having the slightest problems n their marriage or who is even considering getting married at all.

i agree, why get married or respect anyone but yourself. after all people just have big problems and then end up dieing anyway. i feel so great about my divorce after reading your book.

my EX spouse is just a lousy human with problems that i did not want to deal with. now i can just go home every night to my mother, who i now live with (she is divorced 4 times and feels great about each one since she has read your book too) and i don't have to deal with any social pressures at all.

thank you! you should be so proud to putting a rational end to marriage. just as a suggestion, maybe you could write a book for gay couples who need to get a divorce too!!!!

it's like the book 'the art of war.' it says to pick your battles. pick only te ones you can win.

yes, i'm still contolling. it's just that i can controll my mother and my daughter much easier than trying to contoll my spouse too! you are totally right! if i am going to controll then i should olnly control my 5 yr old and my 55 yr old. great concept.

who needs a spouse! jeeze i should have met you years ago!!! my child doesn't need two parents. she just needs one that she can't manipulate at all!

you are so great! i would sugest writing a new book on living completely free from other humans all together.

anyway, good luck to you and your crusade to find others who will join you in you admonishemnt of marriage!

thanx again. i would have felt guilty for the rest of my day for my divorce. the truth is, i never wanted to get married in the first place. i just thought it would be a better in-roads to conrolling the relationship to get what i wanted. i wanted a boy, but after reading your book i am learning to acept my faults for tryng to contoll the sex of my child too!

Rating:
Summary: Don't Be Like Carol
Review: I have read a couple of Melody Beattie's books at the insistence of my ex-girlfriend, who, unfortunately, is not too bright. First, Carol joined AA and got that weird smug look on her face - instead of going out and being with her real friends, she became addicted to the meetings! If she got upset because she was late for work, suddenly her "alcoholism" was to blame. By the way, I only saw her drunk twice in the two years we went out - hardly an alcoholic, although definitely not too tightly wrapped.

Then, she decided she was codependent, and of course so was I, and now she had more pseudo-science to spout. She became unbearable and I dumped her ass. She still doesn't follow through on any plans, she still is inconsiderate and rude - these cult beliefs haven't done anything but given her all kinds of made up diseases to take responsibility for her bad actions.

Glad I have moved on and don't have to read this silly stuff anymore.

Rating:
Summary: Best CODA book out there
Review: Once again Beattie tops the list on self-help books and the subject of codependency. Very to the point on CODA issues and why we act and re-act to the point of being miserable in our lives.

She list many of the behaviors and the results they produce. Now it all makes sense and I understand why those behaviors did NOT work, for myself or others.

I bought this book in 1990 it was excellent then and I am sure the revised copy is excellent now. Great for a gift to someone. Would buy many times over.

Rating:
Summary: If you are really ready for some change...
Review: Until recently, I didn't even know that I was in a completely codependent relationship. I was unhappy but I had no idea how to break out of it. Then I figured out that I was with the wrong person... I found a new person but after a while I figure out that it was the wrong person again. I was just changing my partners but my relationships were more or less the same. After reading this inspiring book, I finally realized that I had something to do with the problem. I stopped blaming other people and began looking into myself. It was then that my life really began to make a positive change. This book was the catalyst for this change. After a while, I read another superb book called, "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato and I began seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It provided me a purpose in life and the motivation to move on beyond my codependency and into a whole other level of human functioning. It is a tough thing to deal with your own issues inside but it is the only way out. There are no other doors so you might as well face that direction and move. Otherwise we just stay there forever in our misery. Though there is some comfort in the familiarity of that misery, I have decided that it is time for me to move on. If you feel that it is time for you to move on, then I suggest you read books like this. It certainly helped me so hopefully they will have something useful for you.