Codependent No More

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Summary: If you can only buy one self-help book, this is the one.
Review: I was given this book by an acquaintance shortly after joining Al-Anon. It has lived on my coffee table ever since - it's been eleven years now. It doesn't just live on my coffee table, though - it lives in my heart and in my soul. If you are recovering from anything, if you lack self-confidence, if you are anxious or afraid, if you are struggling with a relationship, this book will tell you - gently, always gently - that it will be okay. I am sure God speaks to many of us through Melody Beattie. Melody - thank you for helping me find my life.

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Summary: Codependent No More - EXCELLENT!!
Review: This is an EXCELLENT book. I have read most of Melody Beattie's works and this is the best. It helped me tremendously and is a book I go back and read over and over again!! I have given this book to several friends and family members who are dealing with codependency issues and their votes are the same as mine. A must have!!

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Summary: Codependent No More is a Life-Saver
Review: I am currently reading, and re-reading the book Codependent No More written by Melody Beattie. I have found so much of what she says in this book to be very helpful in overcoming codependent behavior. I have really learned so much from this book, that I would love to read some of the other books Melody Beattie has written. I found this book at just the right time so that the information I have gained from reading the book will help break my codependent behavior. I highly recommend this book.

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Summary: A BIBLE in codependency! Awesome!
Review: I read this book over and over. It's a keeper. 'Course my edition is from 1987!! Beattie has become a household name in codependency issues, and this is a page-turner, as well as having ME on every page of the book (yep, unfortunately, I'm QUITE codependent). But beyond that, Beattie has an interesting writing style, gets the reader involved from the get-go, and really puts her heart and soul into the book. She's great, and so is Codependent No More!

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Summary: A real aid in understanding yourself!
Review: I found this book absolutely excellent for understanding where I was coming from and why. It is very comphrehensive, easy to read and I found myself nodding away at all I read. Melody Beattie is a fabulous writer and very supportive in her writing. I would recommend this book to anyone who has ever found themselves so wrapped up in someone else they don't know who they are anymore. This book is an ally, a friend, a positive guide out of co-dependency. It cannot but increase awareness in oneself.

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Summary: A book which changed my life.
Review: This book helped me change my life more significantly than any other book I have read before or since. I had been involved with two emotionally abusive men in a row, and had been depressed for many years. Reading Melody Beattie's book made me feel like she knew me and had written my biography, explaining why I often felt the way I did, interacted with people the way I did, why I picked the men I did, and how I could change ALL of this and let go of what was causing me so much pain. I consider myself now in recovery from codependency and have the tools now to give myself a better life. Thank you, Melody.

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Summary: beware, and think for yourself.
Review: Although this book may give some very healthy affirmations for people who are involved with people who have substance abuse problems, or people in abusive relationships and how to detach from them, I wouldn't dare consider this a book for the average depressed or lonely person.

Beattie's definition of what codependency is in this book is almost laughable in its attempt to tag everyone in the world as a codependent. (Except herself. She's above that now.) By the *extremely* broad list of codependent "symptoms" in this book, anyone who picks it up could be labeled as codependent. Also, calling it a "progressive disease which can eventually lead to death" is absolutely ludicrous, sky-high rhetoric.

Worried about the misfortunes of your loved ones? Oh, you shameful, pathetic codependent. Care for someone else's well-being? You hopeless codependent. You must have had an alcoholic great grandfather. Are you crying? Only codependents cry. Does anyone else's behavior affect you in a way other than affirming your Nitzschean ubermenschen attitude? You are so codependent. Join a 12-step program now. Don't ever help someone who is sick or down on their luck or you'll be an enabler, or "taking their inventory" or whatever AA catch-phrase can be quickly thrown at you.

Regardless of what Ms. Beattie says, loving yourself is not this complicated. Seek happiness within yourself, not this book.

Avoid the Codependency Cult and be yourself.
Caring is NOT a disease. While I agree that this book may have helped some people, it is not the solution for everyone. I think the solution always lies within the self. "Codependent No More" pathologizes the natural tendency to care for others, and perpetuates the dubious myth that a caring partner is responsible for an addicted person's behavior. No one can cause another person's addictive behavior, period. And being concerned about someone with addictive behaviors does not prove that you have a personality disorder. Read with caution, and don't allow this bunk to run your life...or you'll be codependent, ha ha.

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Summary: Co-dependent doesn't mean just living with an alcoholic
Review: What a surprise this book was for me. Co-dependency can mean living with anyone who requires that you live THEIR life and and not your own. NO MORE. I needed this book. Maybe you do, too. It can be painful, but sometimes that's what you need to get a healthy life.

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Summary: Just what I needed to hear
Review: I read this book to help me to understand why I could not seem to fully separate myself from an extremely dysfunctional relationship that I had been in for almost 8 years. While Melody frequently uses alcoholics and drug addicts as her examples of co-dependents, that was not the case for me. I was in a relationship with a person that was/is clinically depressed (and not doing anything about it) and who would take their anger out on me. Our home life revolved around how he was feeling from day to day, as it does also with alcoholics. This book helped me realize how I had ended up essentially taking care of a grown man because he didn't want to do it himself. There were lots of other problems with the relathionship, but the main thing is after reading this book I finally woke up. I can honestly say that I have been able to detach from that person (not an easy task) and my life has been so much better for it. This new knowledge has also helped my other relationships with friends and family. I am learning how not to get over-involved and feel a need to 'fix' someone else's problems that they have created for themselves. This book definitely has set me on the right path and I hope to be able to continue to look out for ME.

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Summary: Melody Beattie is a fly on the wall.
Review: I was amazed at how much Melody Beattie knew about me when I read this book. It seemed as though she had followed me around my entire life and wrote my biography in this book.

I was raised by an alcoholic mom and several alcoholic step-fathers. In order to have SOME stability and order in my life, I took on a lot of responsibilies that were not mine. This resulted in my Codependency character. I carried this behavior into my marriages to alcoholic men.

Alcohol was so prevelent in my family that I did not see it. All of my family members were high functioning alcoholics other than my grandfather, who was a low functioning alcoholic. I labled my grandfather an alcoholic and the other members of my family as normal drinkers. I do not drink much at all so I WAS AN ABNORMAL drinker.LOL (Hindsight is 20/20)

Anyway, this way of life teaches Codependency. Recognizing codependency and taking responsibility for YOUR OWN life can help your emotional health. And that is exactly what this book helped me do. Melody taught me how to set boundaries on myself to not do for others what they can do for themselves. She taught me that by taking on others responsibilities, I am taking away their opportunity for self growth.

This book was my first eye opening experience into my own life. It was just the beginning to an extremely adventurous ride into self knowledge.

Well worth the money.