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Summary: This book is a great read and has improved my life
Review: CODEPENDENT NO MORE is the best self help book I have ever read. It gives a clear insight on how to deal with all types of feelings such as fear, despair, depression, and anger. First the book reveals how to process these feelings rather than denying them and then how to move on to feelings like love, joy, fulfillment, and just feeling okay about yourself in general by giving your life a new spiritual meaning. In her private life, the author has moved from an alcoholic and drug addict, a rape victum, a prostitute/stripper, and finally a welfare recipient to a well adjusted best-selling author and a spiritual advisor. Her life itself is a miracle. She has a way of passing the magic and the spiritual techniques that she used to transform her own life to the lives of her readers. I have read all of her books and I recommend them all. I read her meditation book THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO daily with my morning coffee. CODEPENDENT NO MORE is a wonderful book...I read it in two sittings...You'll love it.
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Summary: BREAKING THE CHAINS OF CODEPENDENCY
Review: As a counsellor with thirty years experience, I can assure you that, contrary to what at least one other reviewer has indicated, loving yourself is NOT easy for everyone. If life was that simple, counsellor's case loads would be much lighter and the world a much happier place. This book is an excellent starting point and great self-help book for those who are codependent. It is not simply a matter of "starting to love yourself," but a matter of going back through the years, generally to the formative years of childhood, and discovering why you have developed the need to be codependent. In other words, it helps to know where you came from before mapping a route to where you are going. I did find the book made considerable reference to drug and alcohol addiction. While that is a major form of codependency, it is not the only form, but others received less priority. For that reason, the book lost a star in the rating. "Codependent No More" is written in an honest, straight-forward manner; therefore, if it evokes anger or negativism in the reader, it is likely because the reader sees at least a partial reflection of themself in the book. Like any self-help book, the advice given only works if the individual is prepared to make long-term changes and has the commitment to work at the root of the problem. For those who are codependent to a minor degree, this book provides helpful insight on how to deal with the problem; however, if the problem is a more serious one, opting for professional counselling is likely still the best course of action. Often old habits are difficult to change on one's own. Freeing yourself from the chains of codependency can result in newfound freedom, peace of mind and a happier, less stressful lifestyle. I do recommend this book for the valuable information it contains.
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Summary: Read it, it will definitely help you!
Review: For many years, I was in a completely codependent relationship and did not know how to break out of it. Then I figure a way out on my own. At least I thought I did... but what happened was that I just changed the people around me and the relationships were essentially the same. After reading this great book, I finally stopped blaming other people for my relatioship problems and began looking into myself. It was then that my life really began to make a positive change. I then read another excellent book called, "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato and I began seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It provided me the motivation to move on from my codependent relationships. It is a tough thing to deal with your own issues inside but it is the only way out and the only way to real happiness. Are you ready to do some real work and step out of your own misery? If your answer is yes, I recommend these books to you.
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Summary: The book that started it all
Review: CODEPENDENT NO MORE is the book that introduced the word "codependent" to the world, and it is the book that set me on my road to recovery (when I was only 17). I don't know where I would be without this book. Indeed, the insights this book offered me and the hope it gave me was revolutionary for that time in my life. So, what exactly *is* a codependent, you ask? Well, Melody defines a codependent as someone who believes that their happiness comes from one specific person, and then they become obsessed with controlling that person. Melody also describes that many codependents get jolts of self-esteem by "rescuing" people, but that the self-esteem can often turn to resentment and blame due to the stress of being burdened by others' problems. Sometimes alcohol and other addictions are involved in these situations and relationships, sometimes they aren't. Looking back, I see that CODEPENDENT NO MORE set me on the road to my current spiritual path, the self-study book about spiritual psychotherapy called A COURSE IN MIRACLES. The Course says that our only real problem is the belief in the "separation from God." The Course says that we make many "special relationships" as substitutes for God. In many ways, the two concepts - "codependent" and "special relationship" - are very similar, and they both have a similar cure: the acceptance of God as our only security. Soon after finding CODEPENDENT NO MORE, I wrote Melody Beattie a letter of thanks for the inspiration. She kindly replied, and gave me information I had requested. So, this book is a landmark in my life.
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Summary: Definitely Worth a Read
Review: I first came across this book as a recommendation (from a psychologist, no less) as to how to deal with an abusive relationship I was involved in. Like some of the other reviewers, it was painful at first to see myself described in the book. But it helped me to understand why I was attracted to addictive personalities, what attracted them to me, and how to eventually break the cycle. I certainly won't say that all of your problems will be solved with this book, but it is a step in the right direction. It certainly worked for me.
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Summary: Worth every penny
Review: If you have codependency issues, this is the bible for codependency issues. Start reading and start caring for yourself and stop letting others manipulate you. Learn to let go.
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Summary: What a book!
Review: A friend gave this book to me many years ago and I never read it until just recently. I feel like I have been blown out of the water since reading this book. This book forces you to look at yourself and your relationship in a new way and once you see what is really going on, you have no choice but to change your life. It is painful at first but you know that it is the only way to the next step in your development. If you are ready to take a step out of codependence, this book is a treasure. If you'd like to understand what all of this relationship stuff means in relation to human development, spirituality, and evolution, read "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato and it will illuminate you like no other book. Both of these books are indispensible to me right now.
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Summary: De-constructing the Co-dependent Construct
Review: Co-dependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself must be considered the bible of the Co-dependent cult. In addition, Melody Beattie, by default, must be the empress of the same. The problem is that this empress is walking around in the nude and no one has the courage to tell her that the magic co-dependent garments she is dressed in and is recommending to you are not really there. She has had a con pulled on her, and it is time for her to see it for what it is. Co-dependent Disorder is not a real emotional disorder never was and never will be- at best the construct is the mad rant and raving of on the wagon substance abusers who have fried their brain cells with drugs and/or boiled them in alcohol and are now trying to tell you how to live your life. Do they really have the answer for your life; I cannot see how they could. To be fair Ms. Beattie is not holding herself out as a mental health professional nevertheless, her book and the others like it are attempting to treat a made-up emotional disorder, which can be very dangerous to the unsuspecting public. The truth is that members of the co-dependent sect hold mental health professionals in very low esteem, which may be because mental health professionals have never embraced the co-dependent construct as a real disorder. I have even read in more than one of the co-dependent cookbooks that mental health professionals do not believe that co-dependent disorder is real due to the fact that they are co-dependent. This is about as dumb a statement as was ever made. Such a statement is akin to saying that people who do not believe in ghost are ghost. Please do not get me wrong; Im not saying to not read this book. Please do. It is fairly well written and can give you a lot of laughs if you do not take it too seriously. However, keep your eyes open and your mind in gear. Rick Goodner, Author of "Co-dependent... What a Bore and Other Clinical Observations"
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Summary: This book CAN save your life
Review: I read a review on here that said calling codependency "a progressive disease which can eventually lead to death is absolutely ludicrous, sky-high rhetoric." I am glad this reviewer has never felt the overwhelming depression and despair of codependency that can lead to thoughts of suicide but I am here to tell you that I have felt it and this book did save my life. Fortunately, I read it at a time when I needed it most. For anyone to say that you just need to "get a life" or grow up, they are obviously not people who need this book. If you feel that you are constantly going in circles trying to please everyone in your life, this is the book for you. If you feel that you are not "good enough" to be around other people, this book is for you. Even if you are not surrounded by chemically-dependent people you can still be codependent. I read this book for the first time about 12 years ago. I have bought and given away many copies and don't even own my own copy at this point. Getting past being a people-pleaser does not make you nasty or selfish or an egomaniac. Instead it allows you to give of yourself fully to those things that YOU want to give fully to. You learn to say yes to what you really want to do instead of being a doormat who can never say no because it just isn't nice. Read this book for yourself. Please don't let the naysayers persuade you against this book. You don't have to be a fan of 12-step programs to read this book. I tried that route and it did not work for me but this book did. Good luck to everyone becoming the person you were meant to be!
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Summary: Looking for how to change? Get this book.
Review: Many books have been written on growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise destructive house. While it is important as a first step to know how some of our bad habits and attitudes get developed (the "why"), it is CRITICAL to know the "how": how can we recognize them in ourselves, to challenge our faulty thinking, to implement healthy strategies for interacting with others (and ourselves). This book is fantastic in the whys and the hows. I suspect many of you who read it will say things out loud as you read as I did, such as "Yes!", "So true!", etc. when you see yourself in the descriptions she gives. I was so impressed with this book, immediately after I finished it I ordered "The Language of Letting Go": daily readings to help stay on the right track. I have gone to counseling, read books on cognitive therapy and several other self-help books, but this book is by far the most helpful. I finally GET IT: I didn't know I was codependent. This book helped me diagnose it, then provided prescriptions to facilitate recovery. Ready to change? Get this book.
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