Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and It's All Small Stuff

Rating:
Summary: Buddhism made accessible.
Review: Richard Carlson writes with a very 'Buddhistic' flair -- if one can call chilling out 'Buddhistic.' I certainly do not mean to trivialize either Buddhism or Carlson but when you read, "Everything has a beginning and everything has an end. [...] A glass is created and will eventually break. [...] There is peace to be found in this teaching. When you expect something to break, you're not surprised or disappointed when it does. Instead of becoming immobilized when something is destroyed, you feel grateful for the time you have had." (131), it as if to say the moment we are born we are already dead so we should live life to the fullest and be grateful for the time we have had.

When Carlson writes about the ups and downs of moods we, once again, get that same 'Buddhistic' feeling. Carlson writes: "The truth is, life is almost never as bad as it seems when you're in a low mood. Rather than staying stuck in a bad temper, convinced you are seeing life realistically, you can learn to question your judgment. Remind yourself, "Of course I'm feeling defensive [or angry, frustrated, depressed]; I'm in a bad mood. I always feel negative when I'm low. [...] 'This too shall pass.'" (82-3). We get that sense that it is all temporary and we are in control. I am certainly not saying that these are aspects solely of Buddhism but they shine through.

Carlson is also wonderful about drawing from a cornucopia of sources, from the likes of Mother Teresa, Stephen Covey, and Alfred D' Souza. In chapter 69, he quotes D' Souza, " 'For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -- real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.' This perspective has helped me [Carlson] to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way" (170). Carlson on Covey is explored in chapter 28 when both "seek first to understand" (73). Carlson on Mother Teresa is discussed in chapter 18 when she reminds us that, "We cannot do great things on this earth. We can only do small things with great love" (18). When you have a group, which includes Mother Teresa, Stephen Covey, and Alfred D' Souza -- and it is presented in the soft way Carlson does it, you can't go wrong.

My sense of Carlson is that he is at his best when he calls us to self-reflexivity. In simple English... knowing ourselves. In chapter 79 he writes and I quote, "Blaming others takes an enormous amount of mental energy. It's a "drag-me-down" mind-set that creates stress and disease. Blaming makes you feel powerless over your own life because your happiness is contingent on the actions and behavior of others, which you can't control. When you stop blaming others, you will regain your sense of personal power. You will see yourself as a choice maker. You will know that you are upset; you are playing a key role in the creation of your own feelings. This means that you can also play a key role in creating new, more positive feelings. Life is a great deal more fun and much easier to manage when you stop blaming others" (194-5). Postmodern, New Age, Pop psyche, or just plain common sense? You be the judge.

Miguel Llora

Rating:
Summary: Don't be Type A
Review: This small book was a number one bestseller for it seems like forever in the late `90s. It is a collection of small bits of advice on how to stay stress free and not to "sweat the small stuff." It's nicely written and provides a lot of food for thought on how not to stress out over things that, in the scheme of things, are not that important. Stress causes a lot of illness and health problems, which is partially the point of the book. By following some of this sage advice one can live a healthier and happier life.

Rating:
Summary: Not for the single person
Review: I have several problems with this book, of which I have read enough to draw these conclusions:

1) It is written in a bite-size style, because the author did not have a sufficiently coherent message to organize it properly.

2) It seems to be written for a certain audience - married, assertive, overachieving middle-aged people who focus too much on their jobs and little projects, like fixing their houses. It's not a very good book for single people, who don't have a family their supposed to be investing in. If, as Carlson suggests, you let everyone else have their opinion, you're not likely to get a date, as both men and women these days are generally interested in someone with a spine! This book is not for the slackers amongst us, who need a kick in the butt to get something done.

Rating:
Summary: Good
Review: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff has its ups and downs. I love the format of 100 short chapters each covering one theme, but the book only makes it halfway to victory, because some of the chapters are a little weak.

Some of the better chapters are:

Make Peace With Imperfection
Don't Interrupt Others or Finish Their Sentences
Choose Your Battles Wisely
Breathe Before You Speak
Adopt a Child Through the Mail
Transform Your Relationhsip to Your Problems
Redefine a Meaningful Accomplishment
Keep Asking Yourself What's Really Important?

One thing I disagree with is the actual title theme itself. I think the author's claim that it is all "small stuff" is just an immense and seriously flawed generalization. Even if most things are small stuff, some things definitely are not. If someone had a gun to my head, I would not consider that small stuff.

Overall, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff is good, but in my opinion it is by no means a must read. As an alternative to it, I would recommend 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself, 50 Self-Help Classics, and my books The Get-to-the-Point Success Reader and A Collection of Wisdom.

Rating:
Summary: OUTSTANDING
Review: This book is valuable to ANYONE. Sometimes we are so busy with life that we tend to let the littlest things bother us, when all we should be doing is enjoy what we have. If you just take one or two things from this book, it will enhance your life. This book is excellent!