Rating: Summary: It's What You Know Review: I read THE GIFT OF FEAR when it was first released. Since then I've recommended it to friends and acquaintences - a few in direct danger of stalking exes, most worrying about the escalation of violence in our culture.I thank Gavin DeBecker for writing this book. His penchant for awakening intelligent intuition is remarkable. Have you ever put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation because you didn't want to appear rude? (given too much information to a stranger? gotten on an elevator with someone even though you felt uncomfortable)? Has anyone ever thrown you off balance and then taken advantage of your weakness? DeBecker shows how fear sends us trouble calls, and how often, and easily, we ignore the signals. (An added plus, these techniques even work against the tactics of car salespeople!). THE GIFT OF FEAR teaches the reader to listen to intuition and act with confidence. If we can perceive violence on the horizon, we can most easily avoid a confrontation with it. If it takes us by surprise, we can address it without panic. Now, go read the excerpt.
Rating: Summary: Praise from an aspiring psychologist at fourteen. Review: Yes, I'm fourteen years old. I'm probably one of the youngest readers of The Gift of Fear, but Gavin de Becker's words empowered me just as much as they did the next person. I loved the book. It made me realize that I have to stop ignoring my body, my intuition. If you haven't read this book, go out and get it! It will teach you so many things. Ever since a couple of years ago, I knew I wanted to help people. I'm the person my friends come to when they have a conflict, I like giving advice and solving people's dilemmas. There was one problem: I didn't heed my own advice. I didn't listen to myself many times because I could picture people saying, "Oh, that's a silly suspicion." Fortunately, I have never been in a situation in which I deeply regret ignoring my intuition, but after reading The Gift of Fear I have learned how to listen to myself. I also babysit. The other day I was holding one of the children, and he pointed to one of my brother's friends and whispered to me, "I'm scared of him." I thought for a moment and replied, "Well, you know what? That's OK." I told him that if he's ever afraid, he should leave where that person is and go find Mommy, or me, or someone he knows and doesn't feel afraid. I was proud that he listened to his intuition, but I think I was more proud of my response. I was totally psyched that I had reinforced something he needs to survive. My point is that The Gift of Fear taught me how to use my gift of intuition and my gift of fear. Read the book because you will learn from it; you will use the tactics everyday. Best of all, you will become more comfortable with every day life and you will use the wonderful treasures mother nature has given you because it was instilled in you by Gavin de Becker. Thank you, Mr. de Becker
Rating: Summary: Epiphany after Epiphany Review: From the age of 12 or so, ALL women begin to experience unwanted and often times threatening attention from the opposite sex. -I've caught my friend's step father watching me undress (I listened to my intuition, turned around before I changed and saw him standing in the doorway in his underwear) -Perverts particularly hang around middle schools when the school day is over, I've been flashed, seen men do things that are too explicit to recount here. (I was 12 and 13 yrs old) -I've had countless men demand that I get into their car, I've been followed in stores and down the street by strangers. -I've been grabbed and manhandled in crowded clubs or at concerts and couldn't identify who had done it because my immediate area was so crowded. The terrifying thing about these situations I've just illustrated is that I could walk up to any woman on the street and she could tell me similar stories. One of the most important things I learned from this book were the specific methods used by attackers to convince a woman to let them into their house, give them a ride, etc. Now that I know the methods, I recall that many of them have been used on me. This is frightening because I know there are girls and women out there who find it difficult to say no to a man, are too trusting, easily charmed, or quick to rationalize their intuition. I say EVERY woman should read this book! I particularly believe that teenage girls should not only read it, but commit it to memory. It really could save your life, and offers insight into HOW these predators lure and persuade their marks. Once you know the methodology of these creeps, you can spot them blindfolded. Also equally as important were the other topics covered, such as how to deal with a stalker (also extremely important information for all women-we've all dealt with exes who wouldn't let go, or persistent suitors who won't take no for an answer) It is unfortunate that women are treated as prey but it is a hard reality. All women should be equipped to deal with potentially violent or threatening circumstances. We are victims only if we fail to educate ourselves. Read this book to garner that education! I think you should, my intuition tells me so.
Rating: Summary: Intuition at its best Review: This is a book I think every woman (and man, too) should read. I wish I'd read it years ago. The insight it gives is valuable in a great many situations. It is a fantastic resource, and a book I know I will read again.
Rating: Summary: Good backround information, but not a how-to book Review: In this book, Gavin de Becker discusses personal safety from several aspects. There is information for people who are being followed by a stalker, parents who are afraid of their children, women who want to end a relationship safely, bosses who want to fire employees, and so on. Some of the information and advise is very practical, and can be directly utilized to increase your safety. Some of the issues handled is more theoretical in nature, and serves more as an backround information. The text is very interesting and easy to read, and not too scientific. Even with the more complicated subjects, the advise is very easy to understand, and it is illustrated with several stories from real life. There are some chapters that are not as useful (like the story on how de Becker's company found and helped police to apprehend a person who had killed several people and was stalking one of de Becker's clients), but still it is interesting to read about these thing as well. I really wanted to give this book 5 stars, but there was something missing to grant the missing fifth star. Although there are plenty of advise applicable to common situations, I believe that this book is more theoretical in nature than a real how-to book. By reading this book, you really don't learn how to make accurate predictions yourself, but you rather learn how the professionals do it. Anyway, this book is an excellent way to start learning about the subject.
Rating: Summary: The Gift Is Within You Review: When a young relative of mine was vacationing, a stranger grabbed her by the arm and said, "Come with me or I'll kill you." She reacted instinctively and broke free, and as she ran she expected to be shot at any second. But she made it to safety and provided the cops with a good description. One year later and 100 miles from where that happened, another little girl was grabbed by a stranger, who said something to her--this was captured on videotape. The frightened child, instead of fleeing, cooperated. She was later murdered by her abductor. I think most of us fall into that second category, because we don't listen to the instinct to run, or to fight, or to (best of all) avoid those situations in the first place. We've been trained to suppress those very instincts that exist to preserve our lives. What deBecker's book so expertly does is re-train us to listen to our intuition, to scope out our environment and everyone in it, and to read the danger signs we would otherwise prefer to ignore. Panic and anxiety are not useful emotions; fear is different. Fear is what compels us to take action if there is a clear and present danger; it's what allows us to see what's happening and respond appropriately. It's an emotion that should be nurtured instead of conquered. We don't want our kids to grow up afraid of the boogeyman, scared to go out of their homes or try new things or meet new people. De becker teaches us that, instead, if we develop and learn to trust our intuition, we can free ourselves from that trap, just as we can react positively if we are ever in a position that requires immediate escape. He shows, with examples and self-reflective exercises, what to ask yourself, and what to do, if you have a "gut feeling" that tells you something is wrong. Parents, children and women especially need this skill. It's great to learn self-defense, to build your confidence in what you can physically do to protect yourself. But that ability is enhanced by the lessons in this book. And sometimes, being a black-belt is irrelevent to dangers that are out there. DeBecker's best lessons are learning how to listen to yourself, how to interpret warning signs from dangerous people, and teaching us how to predict behavior. You don't have to be "surprised" by someone's crazy or hostile actions if you can see them coming and cut them off at the pass. He points out that every time we get behind the wheel of a car, we're predicting what every other driver on the road will do. All we have to learn is how to apply that knowledge to a boyfriend who won't take no for an answer, a neighbor who takes a creepy interest in our kid, or a job applicant who is a little too persistent. DeBecker says some things that will rub people the wrong way--such as, for battered partners: the first time it happens, you're a victim and the second time, you're a volunteer. But that's actually true. If you KNOW what this person is going to do, and you choose to stay in the relationship in spite of this information, then you have to own the consequences. The appendices are useful and the reading list is also a good resource, but the IMPACT self-defense classes deBecker recommends are not available everywhere. I wish the book gave a little more information about choosing a self-defense course if IMPACT is not in the area.
Rating: Summary: A Must READ book for all women Review: This is by far the most informative book I have ever read. I make a point to read it every year. I first read this book when I was getting a divorce. My ex threatened violence and I wanted to know if he was just blowing steam or meant business. This book gave me so much inner strength and self control imaginable. All my life I have had such a strong 'gut feeling' on things and I thought that I was just being silly. Turns out your intuition is you best defense. This book truly will have you gasping and saying to yourself that you've been in the situations he describes. It will really hit home. You will realize just how many times you could have been a victim. The minute I read this book I remember thinking this will be the first gift I will give my daughters when they become young adults. The Gift of fear will save your life.
Rating: Summary: a must read for everyone - male or female Review: Gavin de Becker's book is so informative, engaging and intense. After reading the book, you will be well equipped to deal with potentially dangerous situations. I feel so much safer now because I know how to read people better; rely on my intuition more and know how to avoid bad situations. This book is not meant to scare - its purpose is to empower- and you will feel empowered. He takes the "mystery" and "unpredictability" out of violent people. Excellent! One of the few books I'll read more than once.
Rating: Summary: Groundbreaking Review: De Becker lives the life he teaches here in this book. Using our intuition, understanding clues that at times we ignore, that is the key to the Gift of Fear. It is not a paranoic type of fear, he shows through the horrifying events of the lives of victims the clues that they may have been able to use to avoid becoming victims. Learning to key into our intuition and our feel for a place or an event may save our lives. De Becker teaches that in this very violent world we live in, the best defense is being aware of our surroundings at all times. A good buy for all who care about safety.
Rating: Summary: A Gift to Anyone who Reads It Review: De Becker offers in The Gift of Fear a gift of insight and wisdom to his readers. This book is a true must-read, not just for women but all people. It shares important lessons that De Becker has learned from his experience and his training. The knowledge he shares about dangerous people is priceless, as is what he shares about listening to our own intuition that warns us of danger. The examples he shares in the book drive the points home. This book has helped me to become a wiser more prudent person, father and husband. In addition to being helpful, it is also eye-opening and interesting. Although non-fiction, it is a page turner that keeps your attention. You will learn how some people become threats to you and your loved ones and how to protect yourself from them. It is especially startling when discussing people dangerous to children. After reading this one, if you are a parent or have involvement with children, then definitely read the Gift of Fear. It is about protecting children from the many dangers that face them. Thank You Mr. De Becker.
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