The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide for Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace With a Man

Rating:
Summary: DO NOT LET THE TITLE FOOL YOU!
Review: This book is not about "dumbing down", being blindly submissive, or disregarding your inner voices. It is a book that makes some very valid points, including 1) Gender Equality does NOT mean that a wife has to control every aspect of her marriage 2) A woman that cannot take care of her OWN needs first and foremost, is not going to make a happy anything, let alone a happy wife 3) And, if you treat your husband as if you are his mother, he will probably think of you as his mother.
This book instructs women on how to relinquish control of their husbands, and uses real life stories and intelligent reasoning to illustrate the instructions.
Laura Doyle advocates taking care of yourself as a woman, realizing that you HAVE no control over others actions (which is why the book is NOT intended for husbands), and to feel good about 2 simple phrases: "I WANT" and "I CAN'T". As women, we have been taught that saying "I want" is selfish and non-productive, and saying "I can't" is a veritable kick in Susan B. Anthony's teeth. While as reasonable beings we know that neither case is true, we still hold those predjudices in our hearts and minds.
This book is definatly a survival guide for all of us Super Women, but also for the 1950's throw back in most of us, that allows us to reason that by telling our husband "what he needs to do", we are helping and protecting him. Guess what? That is what HIS mom did...and he probably is not very attracted to his mother.
Take care of yourself as a woman, allow him to take care of himself as a man, and the twain shall meet nicely, productively, and intimately. In short, a Surrendered Wife is not a passive, mindless whelp, but a strong woman who has surrendered control over others. There is a very wise lesson in this, although a common sense one, that seems to have been left behind by my generation in order to acheive elusive happiness.
If you want to be married to the man who proposed to you, this book is a MUST!




Rating:
Summary: Can you imagine Ginger Rogers trying to lead Fred Asteire?
Review: This is an excelent book, being christian, having a 10 year marriage and being a Mars Venus facilitator, I can tell you that if you apply the concepts in this book you will be one happy, very happy woman.
The idea is that the more you want to control (your man/your marriage/the finances, etc) the more stressed, overwhelmed and lonely you end. It teaches you to let your husband do what Fred Asteire did with Ginger Rogers: he led her through the dance floor. She didn't fight him or tried to led herself. She trusted him, she trusted that he would make her look awesome and would take care of her. That is the idea. To make him responsible, to trust him, so we women can lay back and relax. Let him be in charge and enjoy.
You see, women feel loved when they are cared for. Men feel loved when they are trusted. So if you surrender (and by this the author doesn't mean let him abuse) he will lovingly take care of you and he will feel trusted and loved.
I really encourage all women to read the book and give it a try. You will be amazed.

Rating:
Summary: Should be called "The Passive Wife"
Review: While there are some good truths to be found in this book, much of it is so "old-fashioned" I can't believe more women haven't written to complain. I agree wholeheartedly with Doyle's point that our husbands have much good and that we should focus on their positive traits rather than nag and belittle them for fairly minor "infractions." I can certainly improve in this area! On the other hand, much of what she says is so outdated that my husband and I read the book together and laugh. Some of the zingers: 1. Men should do the finances and women should be ignorant thereof (sounds like a recipe for disaster if the husband should die or there should be a divorce), 2. Women should NEVER correct their husbands (I love the one where the husband is going the wrong way and Doyle would have the wife totally silent, even to the point where the husband has to cross state lines before realizing his mistake), 3. Wives should say "Whatever you think" to whatever the husband says, allowing him to make ALL the decisions in the house. She even goes on to say that the husband should be able to change jobs without any input from the wife, even if the end result is that he loses his job (in her opinion, that's not life-threatening. Has she tried to find a job in the current job market???).
Maybe I'm missing something here, but I think that a household where men AND women are equally valued and contribute their opinions is more to my liking. I will say that the book has brought my husband and me together sheerly by its entertainment value!