Your Kung Fu Is No Good

Rating:
Summary: So bad, it's funny!
Review: There are two titles here, "Deadly Kick" (1976) and "Kill Line" (1992). Both star Bobby Kim (or as he is credited - PRINTED - on one box, "Booby Kim"), who is a Tae Kwon Do master, hence the kung-fu "dis". Bobby Kim has been refered to as the Asian Charles Bronson, and with good reason. But as for these movies, where to begin?

Let's start with the AMAZINGLY awful "Deadly Kick". I don't want to bore you, but let's say that either the translation has left a TON OF INFORMATION out, or the script was written on the day of the shoot, and therefore didn't exactly match the 'plot' as it evolved. There's more, but at the end, we see a palatial model, next to a coast, that eventually blows up. But whenever we see the actors, they are in the hills around said edifice, IN THE SNOW. Huh?!?! This isn't Switzerland, and how can they be lower than the structure on a slope, in the snow, when IT isn't in any snow? On a coastline? So confused....

So, a decade later, we get "Kill Line". While violent, this has a good beginning, if a bit tacky. You have bad guys that murder/rape the lead's family in an attempt to ellicit information on some stolen/hidden money. Of course that doesn't exactly work, our hero finds the victims and then sets about for revenge. And it's horribly boring after this. People get picked off, but you stop caring due to the inadequent script. Jackie Chan flicks from the 70's have more soul than this film, and that says a lot.

Bobby Kim, at last report, is a fairly successful Hollywood photographer. Good for him, since he couldn't hook up with the right people to exploit his award-winning martial art talent. Had he bothered to shave, get a hair cut, and know some people that knew what they were doing, he could have been another Jackie Chan. And not just in Asia, but in the States. Pity.

Rating:
Summary: Hello, Kung Fu!
Review: Truly, "Your Kung Fu Is No Good," is a staggering collection of stark wit and gunslinging action. Don't be put off by the insulting and abusive title. These DVD's will complete your life if your haven't yet.
Frankly, if you hear people talking about this DVD, saying how great it is, you should believe them. The rest of you who aren't Frankly can form your own opinions.
These DVD's are insane hardcore. Those of you who are pregnant or if you have a heart condition, you probably shouldn't watch them. I've never actually landed on my back after watching Kung Fu, but now I can safely say I have. You wimps out there should probably watch Josh Groban cuddle the Boobah people or something. Come to think of it, that doesn't sound too bad.
Though it may take a while to familiarize yourself with the characters, go for it. Experiencing these movies is like jumping off some kind of big Kung Fu building while your feet are still attatched to the top, and landing on a big pile of awesome. But don't take my word for it, mostly because I haven't watched them yet. Oh that's right. I'm awesome.

Rating:
Summary: Hello, Kung Fu!
Review: Truly, "Your Kung Fu Is No Good," is a staggering collection of stark wit and gunslinging action. Don't be put off by the insulting and abusive title. These DVD's will complete your life if your haven't yet.
Frankly, if you hear people talking about this DVD, saying how great it is, you should believe them. The rest of you who aren't Frankly can form your own opinions.
These DVD's are insane hardcore. Those of you who are pregnant or if you have a heart condition, you probably shouldn't watch them. I've never actually landed on my back after watching Kung Fu, but now I can safely say I have. You wimps out there should probably watch Josh Groban cuddle the Boobah people or something. Come to think of it, that doesn't sound too bad.
Though it may take a while to familiarize yourself with the characters, go for it. Experiencing these movies is like jumping off some kind of big Kung Fu building while your feet are still attatched to the top, and landing on a big pile of awesome. But don't take my word for it, mostly because I haven't watched them yet. Oh that's right. I'm awesome.