Slaves of the Realm

Rating:
Summary: Slave to Boredom!
Review: Man, I love good B-movies.

I said "good" B-movies.

This is among some of the worst attempts at a T&A fantasy I've ever seen. The plot, at its most basic is this: The Old King is dead, and the high priestess will assist the new king in choosing a new queen from among eight virgin (yeah right) princesses. Of course, for the other seven girls who don't get picked, they get a nice consolation price, they get to make up the queen's court. Yeah, I'm sure that gesture would bring peace to the land.

Well, the eight princesses get kidnapped and are forced to work in the evil queen's silver mines. We get to see a lot of the ladies in distress, hauling rocks and getting their filmsy togas all sweaty, because that scene is repeatedly played. (I guess it was a brillant play by the director to show how tedious slave labor is, or an attempt to lengthen the film by recycling footage.)

I couldn't finish watching this because it got so boring, even with the eye candy of Rena Mero, whose acting talent, well, it doesn't exist. Sorry, but only the most dedicated teenage Sable fanboy would love this flick.

Rating:
Summary: Slave to Boredom!
Review: Man, I love good B-movies.

I said "good" B-movies.

This is among some of the worst attempts at a T&A fantasy I've ever seen. The plot, at its most basic is this: The Old King is dead, and the high priestess will assist the new king in choosing a new queen from among eight virgin (yeah right) princesses. Of course, for the other seven girls who don't get picked, they get a nice consolation price, they get to make up the queen's court. Yeah, I'm sure that gesture would bring peace to the land.

Well, the eight princesses get kidnapped and are forced to work in the evil queen's silver mines. We get to see a lot of the ladies in distress, hauling rocks and getting their filmsy togas all sweaty, because that scene is repeatedly played. (I guess it was a brillant play by the director to show how tedious slave labor is, or an attempt to lengthen the film by recycling footage.)

I couldn't finish watching this because it got so boring, even with the eye candy of Rena Mero, whose acting talent, well, it doesn't exist. Sorry, but only the most dedicated teenage Sable fanboy would love this flick.

Rating:
Summary: 70 minutes recycled to 99
Review: Okay, where to begin. I admit I rented this mess with the sole purpose of goofing on it and laughing, which I did. However my occasional chuckles at this junk were too few and far between because a ponderous storyline and footage recycling. For those who don't know what footage recycling, that's when a movie shows you the same clip over and over again. It can be 4 or 5 seconds and even high-budget films do it for various reasons. This film did it no less than 6 times, and each time was atleast a 30 second clip. The protganist, Rena Mero aka Shira aka Sable from WWE aka JUGS spends most of the movie using her skills from the "i am reading my lines" school of acting and her ahem... "assets". She is quickly overshadowed by the slave girls in "the mine", which all wear simple semi-transparent togas to haul around plastic rocks in wicker baskets. The final scar your mind will receive from this expectoration of gas, will be from Daniela Khrut, whose impossible "accent" had my fellow compatriots doing boris & natasha jokes. (awful isn't the word).
If you like pointless nudity, ponderous execution of a plot, bad accents, and a "ren-faire/nerd-circus gone wild" kind of crap movie this is definitely the waste of time you've been waiting for.

Rating:
Summary: 70 minutes recycled to 99
Review: Okay, where to begin. I admit I rented this mess with the sole purpose of goofing on it and laughing, which I did. However my occasional chuckles at this junk were too few and far between because a ponderous storyline and footage recycling. For those who don't know what footage recycling, that's when a movie shows you the same clip over and over again. It can be 4 or 5 seconds and even high-budget films do it for various reasons. This film did it no less than 6 times, and each time was atleast a 30 second clip. The protganist, Rena Mero aka Shira aka Sable from WWE aka JUGS spends most of the movie using her skills from the "i am reading my lines" school of acting and her ahem... "assets". She is quickly overshadowed by the slave girls in "the mine", which all wear simple semi-transparent togas to haul around plastic rocks in wicker baskets. The final scar your mind will receive from this expectoration of gas, will be from Daniela Khrut, whose impossible "accent" had my fellow compatriots doing boris & natasha jokes. (awful isn't the word).
If you like pointless nudity, ponderous execution of a plot, bad accents, and a "ren-faire/nerd-circus gone wild" kind of crap movie this is definitely the waste of time you've been waiting for.

Rating:
Summary: LOCKED, COCKED, and ready to DROP THE BOMB ON YOU!
Review: When i found out that Rena Mero was actually doing something after she left the WWE I was surprised as hell! So with that in mind I purchased this film. I have to honestly say, it was not a total waste of money, it was a partial waste of money! This movie to me, made no sense, showed nothing but naked chics playing in the dirt, and some chic raping a heavily sedated king (can you do that?)so she could be queen or something! I have to say that the biggest issue here was the lack of violence! I was hoping for at least one Sablebomb or a couple brawls, but there wasn't! If you are looking for some good Sable action check out WrestleMania XX or the Great American Bash!