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Python

Python

List Price: $9.98
Your Price: $9.98
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: No no no no no no no no.
Review: I rented this because I was looking for something dumb and lightweight. Well I got those two, I just forgot that it should be dumb, lightweight, but also entertaining. I haven't looked at the credits too closely, but the movie is so wildly uneven it looks like about 10 different directors and editors slapped it together, none of them ever co-ordinating at all with the other, and that half of them were just maybe random people-no, children- they stopped on the street and handed a movie camera and asked them if they felt like taking over for a couple days, and the other half went out and spent all their paycheck on drugs. Actually I think both, the 10 different directors spent all their money on drugs, then handed the camera to some random kid on the street because they were too stoned to focus.

A bad CGI python terrorizes a small town. that's about it. Not that this would be a problem, if the movie were entertaining. Anaconda had a pretty simple plot, and I liked it- it was trashy but at least fun, plus it had J.Lo and Ice Cube kickin' a$$. Python (bold choice for a title, guys!) makes Anaconda look like Goodfellas. Casper Van Dien and Robert Englund play two scientists who both spend their screen time trying to upstage the other.

The CGI python doesn't seem very interested in eating people, either, just mangling them or spitting venom on them. I guess it wasn't very hungry (though it does eat a shower curtain at one point) or just cranky. The only positive thing I can think of to say is at least this movie didn't try to pretend to be anything other than it was, and had a couple slightly amusing parts-well, maybe one. The scene with Jenny McCarthy made me realize why she doesn't get much acting work. Sorry, curse me out all you want, but you know I'm right. Her and this actor who play a real estate salesman ham it up and overact so amazingly in their scenes that it was way past the point of being as amusing as they thought they were being.

The constant patting-themselves-on-the-back smugness of "hey, look how funny and noncomformist and wild we think we're being!'" that the film oozes gets old within minutes and ruins any sort of fun you might have.

They must have blown their whole budget on Englund and McCarthy, because as I said, the effects were terrible. The CGI itself was OK in parts, but then it would be really badly superimposed on what what obviously just the actors being filmed pretending to see a big snake. The lighting didn't even match. It looked like the snake was rearing up in front of a movie screen that needed cleaning.

Anyway, this was just terrible and stupid in a bad way. I actually felt sorry for most of the actors. Even Caspar Van Dien looks embarassed, for God's sake. If you want a guilty pleasure, you can do soooo much better. Try Wild Things, Nowhere, an episode of Melrose Place, or Lake Placid.

Bottom line: calling this movie a guilty pleasure gives other genuine guilty pleasures a bad name.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: good but not great
Review: I thought Python was really good,and I know a lot of people didnt like it,but I think there big dumbos.It has lots of gore,like when the women gets her head choped off by the pythons tail and lands in the guys lap. It then pukes acid on the guy,and burns him to nothing but bones and blood. Its when two men are carrying a huge python on a plane and it gets out of its cage.He eats the crew and the plane crashes near a town called Ruby.First it kills a lesbian couple.Then it starts killing the locals one by one,leaving there bodies everywere.A small army tries to stop it,but the python eats 4 of the men.A good movie,but not great.If you like this movie you should see Python2,Boa,Boa vs Python,Andoconda,Silent Predotars,Crocodile,Crocodile2, and King Cobra.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Low grade film tries and terribly fails.
Review: I was interested in this film's appearance, because of the genre and the fact that Casper Van Dein was in it. First, the supposed lead actor is only in the film for about 20 mins and is killed. He is supposedly a top agent but fails in combat skills. Second, all the actors were misplaced and horrible. Third, I didn't get one thrill or even a scare from the site of this fake CGI snake. Fourth, the cliche of the monster vs. man reminded one of a failure 50's film that flunked on all scales. Bullets can't penetrate his skin, but one swipe from a pipe makes it bleed? The unrealistic film's drama is laughable, because it is so utterly despicable!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: PURE FUN
Review: I'm amused at all the Rogert Eberts out there who take movies like this so seriously that they need to attack it. The point is if you take this movie seriously, you miss the fun. It's a SPOOF, people! It mocks itself so how could anybody mock it?! This movie is to "horror creature films" as Scream was to "horror movies." My friends and I were looking for some amusing entertainment, saw the title, and grabbed it. If seeeing Wil Weaton with purple hair, Casper Van Dien with a cheesy mustache, Jenny McCarthy's head fall off, William Zabka in a classic fist fight in a kids playground, Robert Englund blowing himself up, Sean Walens do an evil version of Barnie Fife doesn't make you smile and bring lighthearted entertainment to you - then I don't know what will. This film was a blast and don't let the Eberts steal it from you.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Python is 60 feet of meat-mashing, loin-lashing horror
Review: If you want to be left gasping for air, and kept on the edge of your seat for just short of an hour and a half, then rent Python. If you ask me, and most people do, it is an instant classic. Casper Van Dien rivets B-movie fans with his enthralling performance as a hard-nosed law man, and Robert England sheds his reputation as a proprietor of garbage as he portrays the scientist who created the sixty feet of pure terror. The irresistable force that is the Python wreaks havoc on a town, including the main character from Stand By Me(I thought he was dead, too). So, if you're looking for eighty minutes of horrifyingly realistic special effects and a well-thought out script, then rent Python. You can follow the elequintly written script and elite acting on a chilling thrill ride that is sure to leave you breathless. So, kids, until next time, this Art Vandelay. Remember, if it isn't B, it isn't me!

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Bad Snake. Actors With a Name. Movie with Nothing Else.
Review: If you've seen the movie ANACONDA, then you've seen PYTHON. The only difference is in locale and cast. The special effects in some scenes were decent, but they didn't mesh so well spliced next to the old-school special effects. The opening scene is promising, and the first twenty minutes of the film isn't all that bad either. However, after that the film quickly falls apart. The movie has a fairly large cast of actors who actually have names. However, the only reason they signed on for this piece of sewage was for the paycheck. Mindless entertainment with just a few glimmers of originality, but no taste.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: FOWL SMELLING DRECK
Review: If your gonna make a crappy clone of anaconda on an almost decent budget,drop all scenes with stupid extras that cant act.steal an idea from a movie like "the relic"and shoot the damn creature in the dark, not bright sun light like these guys did.If you cant think of good lines for people like casper van dien and robert england to say, hire someone who can or at least steal them.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: pythonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn cool
Review: its a preety good movie.if you count out the dump scens goood special f/x.pythons about abig snake that was takken on a plane for expirment.and it gets freee and makes the plane crash. and it gets loose in a nearby city.and teerosisesssssss. everyone.and if your a gore lover youl like this it has lots of gore. if you want real gore i recomend this and crocodile.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: An Absolute Must See!!!!
Review: Jenny McCarthy gives an Oscar winning performance in this beautiful and visualy stunning masterpiece. The supporting cast gives a great and compelling performance. You will find yourself really connecting with characters and buried in the emotional aspects of there lifes during this difficult phase. This is a brilliant and riveting screenplay by a master writer. This directors debut will leave you speechless. A timeless classic for all to enjoy. Rent it and you will enjoy it, I promise!!!!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Definately Worth Buying!
Review: Let's see, this movie is probably the third movie that Hollywood has made about a giant reptile. But I like it. I was fascinated by snakes when I was littler, and I just snake videos. I always would watch snake documentaries on animal planet and I read a lot of snake books. I was truly impressed by Anaconda, and this movie rocked my world! I liked it when the giant snake was in the plains and Casper Van Dien was sending his men in there but it killed them all, including Casper. Some of it was discusting, like the two lesbians at the beginning, that was not appealing to me. But the rest was because sometimes the python would appear suddenly and make you jump. Buy this movie, without a doubt, you'll love it!


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