Rating: Summary: Give me my two hours back! Review: This movies is atrocious! I wouldn't expect acting this bad from a made-for-tv Disney special. The overacting, overdramatization, and uncomfortably bad emotional outbursts were very distracting to say the least. So distracting that I almost forgot how wretchedly b-grade the plot was. The characters were all generic, clique and all around annoying to listen to. Their personalities are very one-dimensional and stereotypical making any character development unconvincing. Another thing very memorable about this movie was the ridiculous costume design. I couldn't take half the characters in this movie seriously with what they were dressed in. I am mystified as to what made me watch the whole film front to back... Perhaps morbid curiousity? Perhaps boredom? Perhaps sympathy and hope for cinematic redemption? Or perhaps it was the 30 minute investment on my part to download this garbage movie from the internet. Yes, happily I didn't pay a dime to watch this flick, but I do feel cheated for losing a good two hours of day watching it. Call it poetic justice I guess. I would only recommend you watch this movie if I've piqued you curiousity as to what my definition of Hollywood trash is. This movie made me wish I was tired so I could fall asleep during it. They couldn't even muster up a convincing green screen frame for the Empress to stand in front of. Terrible terrible terrible! I am a huge fan of Lord of the Rings movies, which is what inspired me to watch this movie. What a mistake. I was fairly warned by the intro scene in which a cheesy, overzealous narrator foreshadowed the substandard nature of the film, but I guess I had hopes that it would have some redeeming qualities to it. I was wrong.
Rating: Summary: I wish I could watch the first ten minutes before I buy... Review: This movie is the kind that screams for previewing-before-buying: if only I could have seen the first ten minutes or so before I shelled out my hard-earned ten bucks...my recommendation? Don't even rent this movie, wait for it to come on syndicated tv.
Rating: Summary: Wow, this film bites! Review: I try to keep an open mind about a lot of films but I'll be darned if I can barely find anything worth my time in this movie. The protagonists are all all as generic as humanly possible (perhaps even moreso). The two main characters consist of a forgettable thief (who seems like he might be easily at home in Double Dragon or Surf Ninjas) and a Wayans brother so annoying that he makes Jar Jar Binks seem like a comedy genious.The characters are incredibly flat, play to the old standard fantasy genre stereotypes so tightly that it became boring very quickly. Jeremy Irons plays the main villain in this picture, and as testament to the empty driftwood-like nature of the film's script, the only way he can make his performance the least bit memorable with such little to work with is to overact horribly. Then we have his second in command, a musclehead with blue, i repeat BLUE LIPSTICK, that reminds me way too much of british one hit wonders Right Said Fred (I'm Too Sexy) to be even remotely intimidating. Also the plot is so formulaic it makes Krull seem daring and adventurous by comparison. Tack on one of the most bizarre, pointless endings I've ever seen and I think I actually lost IQ points watching this film. It's pretty bad when you can't even MST3k a movie... It's a shame too, because when the movie started I really wanted to like this film, but by the time it was over, I just wanted my money back.
Rating: Summary: I've never seen a bad guy with blue lipstick... until now! Review: Good God as someone who used to play D&D I couldn't get over how archtypical the bad guy mage (Lawful Evil, probably around 18th-level) and his big brawny retainer (Neutral Evil, probably around 15-th level fighter or Anti-Paladin) were. Although Jeremy Irons (Profion) is an excellent actor who I respect a lot, he did overplay his character in several scenes. Damodar was just awful. Blue lipstick??? Justin Whalen wasn't bad as Ridley, and Marlon Wayans was acceptable comic relief as Snails. Thora Birch should be shot for her terrible performance. My goodness was she TRYING to sound like a gradeschool Christmas pageant Mrs. Claus? Whoever hired and paid her should never be in charge of casting another movie again. The visuals were decent. I thought the dragon at the beginning looked a tad fake, but the battles between the reds and golds at the end was fairly entertaining. I liked the ominous sense of worry that came over me when Profion summoned the reds. That part was very cool, and a definite highlight of the movie. I wanted to see more creatures, too. The Beholder was neat, and portrayed in a way I thought was accurate, as were the orcs in the bar scene. Although kind of fun, this sure had a lot of faults. If you're bored and want to laugh at stuff that maybe the director didn't plan on, rent this.
Rating: Summary: A typical fantasy......with dragons! Review: Since I haven't played the original D&D games, I didn't really think this was all that bad. Granted that the special effects are not as superior and that the characters may have been a bit underdone, it's still a fairly entertaining fantasy. Like other fantasies, this is a quest, in which two young thieves, a dwarf, and a mage must find a sceptor before the bad guys do. Also like other fantasies, there's lots of bizzare creatures (one of which looked just like the eyeball thing in "Big Trouble in Little China"), unique settings, and a good vs. evil theme. In regards to the characters, there truly isn't a whole lot to say about them (the names of some of the characters aren't even mentioned). But the main character does show a little depth, and he does seem to evolve as the story progresses (towards the end, that is). As is explained in numerous other reviews, the special effects aren't up to par. That may be, but it's the way they used it that counts. There are lots of effects where the camera is zooming around the city, with dragons bombing the heck out of it. It may not be as advances as the "Lord of the Rings", but it's certainly better than other films that I've seen. The film is not terribly remarkable in any specific way, but it passes as entertainment with its dazzling imagery and light-hearted humor.
Rating: Summary: Dung-eons & Drag-ons Review: I wish there were 0 stars for this movie. Let me think if there's anything positive to say about this movie: - Plot ....... Bad - Acting ..... Bad - Special FX.. Bad - Characters.. Bad ------------------- Summary ...... Really Bad (not an average) Just watch this movie so you can agree with me.
Rating: Summary: Not D&D Review: Although the title is Dungeons and Dragons, the movie retains very little of the game it has derived its name from. Attempting to make an epic story through the inclusion of the powerful dragons, the plot quickly devolved into nonsense. The hero of the story, played by Justin Whalen who should have stuck with the Superman television show, is gifted by the fey with a superior sword midway through the film, but continues to lose every sword fight he gets into. His bumbling sidekick, played comedically by Marlon Wayans, is enjoyable but dies all too soon to suit mood of the movie. Their pairing makes it difficult to imagine them as the heroes of a film trying to be epic in its storyline. Aside from the over-the-top acting from Jeremy Irons and the little-used apprentice mage love-interest, none of the other characters makes an impact in the story. The dwarven and elven companions to the group never even get one swing in during the entire movie, making their inclusion even more preposterous as they become more liability to their scenes than a benefit. The best way to approach this film is to not expect too much, roll with the lack of reasonable plotline, and simply enjoy what it does deliver. A somewhat humorous spoof of fantasy movies done poorly.
Rating: Summary: I really wanted to like this movie but...... Review: I have been playing, writing and running Dungeons & Dragons games for about 15 years now so I was pretty excited when I read that it was being adapted for the big screen. I really hoped the film would bring some legitimacy to the hobby in the eyes of the general public. But what Courtney Solomon has produced here is a festering heap of bad storylines and poor acting. All you need to do is watch the extras on the DVD to see just how incompetent Mr Solomon is. A hardcore gamer himself, Courtney explains his vision for the movie. To produce a story that was appealing and satisfying for gamers and non-gamers alike. Sure he might get an E for effort and passion but as the writer and director of this tripe Courtney Solomon has failed miserably. Firstly lets look at the story. Now fantasy stories are generally among some of the richest in fiction. From the Lord of the Rings, to Anne McCaffrey's work to D&D spin offs like Dragon Lance and the Forgotten Realms, fantasy books are always full of rich settings and compelling characters. So why did a novice screenwriter like Solomon decide to try his hand at writing the screenplay? Surely an adaptation of Weis & Hickman's Dragon Lance Chronicles, Douglas Niles Moonshae Trilogy or R.A. Salvatore's Icewind Dale Trilogy would have offered great settings and characters that are already established. An adaptation of anyone of these series would also have guaranteed a flow on audience that were familiar with the novels but may have never actually played the Dungeons & Dragons game. Recent successes like Blade, X-Men and Spiderman have shown that comics and fantasy stories can be turned into great movies with the right script and cast. Failures like Gor, the Punisher and Captain America show just how bad these tales can be when you get the ingredients wrong. Solomon's Dungeons and Dragons definitely falls into the later category. The script only serves to alienate both the general public and the existing D&D fanbase by throwing is into a confusing setting full of shallow characters. And the acting! Good God! The two stars with top billing, Thora Birch and Jeremy Irons, obviously don't want to be there. Birch's performance is stunningly bland and average while Irons over acts and stinks it up at every available opportunity. Justin Whalin is completely disposable, a store mannequin would have done a better job. Marlon Wayans is ludicrous in his comedic side role as Snails. Although some of the effects, like the dragon dogfight, are interesting they are not enough to save the movie. Some of the effects like the Beholders are completely superfluous and do nothing to advance the story or characters. Don't get me wrong I really tried to defend this movie to my friends before and after it's release, both as a half decent flick and then as a fun piece of B-Grade Schlock like Gor or Hawk: The Slayer. But no this movie can not be redeemed, it is awful, it's awfulness is compounded by the fact that it could have been so much better and that fans like me deserved more. Courtney Solomon should be imprisoned in a dungeon himself for daring to produce such garbage.
Rating: Summary: Good for somebody who is five years old, probably Review: This movie has no redeeming value at all. The acting was really terrible, especially coming from people who won oscars. The script doesn't make any sense. I also have never seen such terrible special effects! You get to see the fakest looking fantasy city ever. Do yourself a favor and watch the cinematics in the awesome PC game, Diablo 2. They totally kick this movie's arse and THAT is a fact.
Rating: Summary: Not That Bad, and Great Family Fare Review: I'll tell you why I like this movie...this is strictly fun popcorn fare and meant to evoke those late night Saturday sessions of failed seduction rolls and munching down cheesy puffs while alternately guffawing and sweating over the fate of an alter ego who exists only in the mind's eye and on a piece of paper much worn from erasing hit points and changing stats. D&D the movie is just for fun. Anybody looking for any deep meaning should look elsewhere. Yes, it does owe a lot to Raiders Of The Lost Ark and Star Wars. The main character of Ridley has about two dozen Harrison Ford moments throughout the film. No its not completely a full immersion in fantasy, but then again neither were most of the D&D campaigns I played in. Think of all the moments somebody would crack a joke or toss in a geeky line from a movie while you were playing this game - the filmmaker didn't try to create a fantasy world, he tried to portray the game as it was...a fun night of bickering and mishaps with the occassional monster and bit of melodrama thrown in. There was no way this could please every fan, because each D&D fan had his own memories. There were those who loved a lot of magic, and those who liked hack and slash, and those that were straight on roleplaying. Maybe I only enjoyed this movie because the bumbling but ultimately heroic thief was always the kind of character I liked and played. Anyways, don't try to see this as anything staggering or high-reaching as Excalibur or (sigh...) Lord Of The Rings, just enjoy it for what it is - there is a good deal to like... The acting is way way over the top - but its fantastic in that regard. The villains are of the mustache-twiddling egomaniacal comic book variety (particularly Jeremy Irons, who is so wild you can't even understand his evil wizard's ranting sometimes under the roaring of the dragons `Their blood will RAAAAIIINN from the SKIIIESSSS!' reminded me of `We're gonna RAIIIN on you, Warriors!'). Demadar (sp?) speaks in an exaagerated cold rasp through the whole movie and goes around with a parasite in his head (and when Marlon Wayans mocks him late in the film its pretty funny)! Marlon Wayans plays his typical scared brutha (a role he seems to have been born to play), and the guy who played Rosie The Eternal Flame in Freaked as the dwarf plays it to the hilt, gobbling turkey legs and in one hilarious scene (one of my favorites) stares at the camera and says `That's no way to do business. Mmmmm.' And rolls his eyes. Thora Birch is appealing as the mage if not particulalry memorable, and the elven chick is purdy, as she is meant to be. These are archetypes from a game system, not really living characters with pasts of their own - they are the beautiful but aloof Elven Ranger, the crass and surly Dwarf Fighter, the likable but selfish Thief, etc...and no game of D&D is complete without them. The production design ain't too bad - obviously it reflects the look of the new 3rd Edition rulebook, with elements that don't really belong in any time period. But the golden coin-mail of the empress at the end makes her look stunning, and the other costumes (particularly in the Thieves' Guild scene) look cool as well. Even the props are great - the Red Dragon Control Rod in particular, and did you notice that cool Michaelangelo-like mural of the mage using the Rod as he observes from a cloud? I wonder where that painting is now... The FX - not nearly as overblown as you might expect. This director went to the Star Wars school sure, but it was the original trilogy, not the new garbage. We don't linger or drool over CGI fluff for too long (like we do in some other recent fantasy movies I could mention). We get nicely detailed establishing shots to give us a sense of place, and a big dragon battle at the end, which I think comes off rather well - the best since Dragonslayer - and not nearly as bad as Dragonheart. Yeah, the Beholder is floating around in broad daylight - but so what? Its a Beholder! Highlights: The Thieves' Guild Maze, The Dragon Fight at the end, Ridley and Snails breaking into the Mage Tower and getting caught. The story - not nearly as terrible as some would have you believe. Its linear, it makes sense most of the time, and its no frills. If there are flaws, they are the fault of market-minded producers who changed the director's original vision (as in most movies). If you watch the extra material interview, you can tell his heart was in the right place when he did this. As for the very ending, no it doesn't make a lot of sense - unless you consider this....D&D is a game. This movie is based on a game. Therefore it could be surmised that the characters are all people playing a game (that's why the three main characters are so young). When the one character who died has his name disappear from his tombstone, and when we are told `Your friend waits for you' and they are all spirited away in a flutter of pixie dust, I like to think that its because the night is over. The game is ended for now (its nearly dawn). Yes, your friend is waiting for you. He died early on in the night, so he made a food run and is now back with pizza and is waiting in the real world. Thus `we'll stop here' and go eat and talk about the night's adventures and what's next, and probably a little of real life too. If you look at it that way, this movie's not so bad. My eleven year old son and I watch this movie and have a ball - even he knows when the actors are too much, and we laugh about it. The dragon fight is awesome, the swordplay exciting, Marlon Wayans is funny, and the rest of the cast is passable and good looking. A good family movie and a light bit of fun.
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