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Dungeons & Dragons - New Line Platinum Series

Dungeons & Dragons - New Line Platinum Series

List Price: $12.97
Your Price: $11.67
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: I cringe.
Review: I want to find Courtney Solomon, wherever he may be right now, and shake his hand and tsk-tsk a little bit and say: Sir, I admire your courage and your drive to get this film made. Too bad it's such drivel.

Without any formal background in filmmaking, you labored for ten years to get this movie made. You walked right into the offices of TSR, Inc. as someone barely out of his teens and bought the movie rights from them for an absurd sum of money. You let people laugh at you, and stuck with your dream to bring this thing to fruition. And now here it is.

Courtney Solomon, you're a brave man, but as a director, you stink on ice.

"Dungeons and Dragons" is one of the worst films I have ever seen. I say that simply as a statement of fact, the way I would say the sky is blue or water is wet. Calling the film bad is hardly my way of being nasty, but simply my way of being accurate.

"D&D" professes to be a fantasy adventure in the vein of the game that it is named after, but there is no reason to name it "D&D" other than as a marketing ploy. It takes place in the land of Izmer, where the princess Savina -- shades of Amidala, although Thora Birch's performance is so horrendously wooden you could saw her in half and count the rings -- is having her power challenged by the evil wizard Profion (Jeremy Irons, mouthing his dialogue around the scenery). To the rescue, sort of, come two thieves, Justil Whalin and Marlon Wayans. Whatever other plot there is outside of this is more or less of the make-it-up-as-you-go variety. It's all painfully stupid and strained, and makes one feel rather sad for the actors stuck under all those poundiferous costumes.

I understand now why most movie companies trust their work to be done by someone with at least a few productions under their belt: the film is riddled with the sort of ghastly amateurisms that first-year film students are given stern talking-tos about. Most of the shots of people are framed head-on, as if they were posing for a driver's license. Edits between shots are often obvious and splicy for this reason. The digital effects are impressive in a demo-reel sort of way, but mesh so badly with the surrounding action that "Captain Video" looks more convincing.

The problems with the movie ultimately lie with the wretched story, which cribs as freely from other movies as it plunders the game for inspiration. It's devoid of wonder, imagination, or genuine excitement -- sort of like what you'd get if you bought a No Frills brand product with the words FANTASY ADVENTURE printed on the label. The acting is fetid, the editing is desperate, the music is blatty and annoying, and nowhere in it is there one thing that I could honestly say I wanted to last for more than the time it took me to lay eyes on it and say: Been there, done that.

If you have any children who have been naughty, I would recommend a screening of this film as a last resort.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: D&D has ALWAYS been good! The movie too!
Review: The movie was great. I dont know why some people aren't admitting to the fact that this movie was enthralling. I enjoyed it thouroughly. I thought the special affects were great and the plot was ever fun! Some people have seen too many movies and dont know how to apreciate a great film when they see one. I was like that for a while. bouncing around from theatre to theatre seeing every movie possible. But some people dont relieze how much time and effort people put into films. Even into made for TV films. I thought the movie was great. THe ending annoyed me slighly but overall this film was spectacular. I actually saw it three times in the theatre, thats how much I enjoyed it. I think that along with the movie, the characters were really fun too. I think that this is a great movie for everyone and that the whole movie was taped so incredibly. HOw could someone actually say," oh this movie sucked" yet they saw the awesome scene in the beginning and all of the special affects. THey were wonderful and I really thought they were great. If you thought that this movie was bad then you have pretty high expectations, with everything.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: i loved this movie^_^
Review: this is such an awesome movie! the effects were really awesome, and the actors were really great. i encourage everybody interested in fantasy stuffs to get it. I can't wait till the second one comes out!

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Fiend or Faux
Review: Gimme a break. Rolling up characters for an actual D&D game would be a better use of time. The acting deserves an award, the kind given to the most promising high-school thespian in a small town. Lines are repeated and expressions are worn, but it's not enough.

Fortunately, this is an action flick. Acting is secondary. There are enough melee scenes for any pubescent lad to get his testosterone blazing. Plenty of choreographed fight scenes & clever effects. Stop action animation is better than we saw in 50's B movies. But, an important point was overlooked--everything in the movie is new. Clothes are clean, just off the costumers' sewing machines.

Let's not forget the villain, Profien. Not at all convincing, more of a geek. Banal, not convincingly evil. This, then, is perhaps the most real part of the movie. True evil rarely wears horns & carries a pitchfork. On the other hand, if you see a bald guy with blue lips & an attitude ... Run!

I wouldn't let a child less than 8 or 9 watch this movie, and nobody that young without an adult in the room. There are some intense scenes which a younger child could find disturbing. Unfortunately, most people old enough not to be disturbed will be old enough to be bored.

Pretty much a two star movie all around. Personally, I wonder if somebody didn't use their DM notes as the basis for this script.

(Your comments on this review are appreciated--click on the "about me" link above & drop me some email. Thanks!)

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: What I expected and more.
Review: Before I ever saw this movie I listened to the majority of the reviews (all negative), but still my friend and I went and saw it. We played D&D in high school and college some 10-15 years ago so thought we could relive some of those memories.

After seeing the movie, we were both pleasantly surprised and definately enjoyed it. Would I recommend it to friends or let my son see it? Yes. Would I buy it? Definately yet. Could it have been better? Probably, but couldn't every movie?

You see, I go to the movies or rent movies... simply to be entertained. I was. That is all a movie is a 2-hour escape from reality. I don't care if this was the director's first or last attempt, nor whether Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts or any other famous actor or actor is in it. To me, it is a movie. Purpose: to entertain and provide a 2-hour escape from reality.

I realize my opinion is in the minority and many make a career telling people what to watch and not watch. My advice is if you are unsure whether you like it or not, rent it. Then you can buy it or not.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Well the kids liked it!!
Review: Being another Huge fan of AD&D for 15+ yrs I just had to go see it. I even conned the wife and kids to go along since this was supposedly the movie of my lifetime...WRONG. I liked this movie just because of the D&D name..truthfully no other reason. This movie was made for children. If you like Xena on TV then youll love this. The fighting scenes are rediculous..not a scratch was ever shown or maybe it was hard to see through the dirt they threw on the actors. Adding a Wayons for comedy relief was another horrible idea that still baffles me. This was supposed to be D&D not Saturday night live. To make a long story short my kids liked it so dont buy the DVD just get your kids to watch it on Saturday morning!

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: I've DM'd a better dungeon!!!
Review: Don't get too excited by the title, for this is a Dungeons and Dragons film in name only. If you are looking forward to seeing beholders..errr..don't...there seen for 10 seconds and they do nothing, apart from float. The final Dragon battle scenes suffers from, what I call, Phantom Menace'itus. This is to say all you want to see at this point is lots of dragons fighting. But what you get is a poorly directed scene that chops and changes without you ever really being able to get fully immersed in the action. The middle part of the film is shallow and the full potential of a fantasy setting is never realised.

As a kids entertainment film it is fine. As a Dungeons and Dragons movie hire it out on video on rainy night when there is nothing else to do. Sorry but its true.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: D&D begins my journey into fantasy
Review: Great movie! From the beginning when i heard the opening music i was so amazed at the special effects. This movie is what i've been waiting for for most of my teenage years, i'm 19 now and i must say that

Dungeons & Dragons

Held my attention all the way. Now i read all these bad reviews, so i must be easy to please, cause i saw this movie a total of 4 times. And i can not wait till the DVD is released, i will watch it about another 4 times during the week of it's purchase by me. Do not listen to them dang critics, what do they know? Watch it for your self and be amazed as

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS

wows you just like it wowed me.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: An insult
Review: With the ever looming shadow of 'Lord Of The Rings' getting bigger, it's no surprise that Dungeons and Dragons has finally made it to the movies. And as a D&D fan for twenty years, I was excited. But man, what a huge let-down........What is it about this genre that Hollywood finds so difficult to produce anything of quality? 'Willow' (for some strange reason) seems to be everyones favorite. But this has got to be due to lack of competition. Actually, to this day, the best D&D type movie is still 'Dragonslayer'.

But as a D&D fan, it is my duty to hate this flick. "The story", (HA! HA!), concerns a mystical city's young, new Empress Savina (Thora Birch). She longs to balance the defects of a rigid social order, but the smug ruling class of sorcerers will only answer her pleas for equality with plots for her demise. Aided by his extremely cranky henchman Damodar (Bruce Payne), no one lusts for he throne more than the quite evil and demented wizard Profion (Jeremy Irons). His biggest obstacle is a group of meddling kids that includes student mage Marina (Zoe McLellan) and thieves Ridley (Justin Whalin) and Snails (Marlon Wayans). An 'enchanted map' guides the young adventures on a quest for a powerful magic orb and a legendary magic rod that will..., oh screw it, hilarity ensues.

The special effects guys earned the only star I'm giving this atrocity, I wipe my butt with the rest. The biggest victims here, after the audience, would be the actors. They couldn't have all possibly sucked this hard on their own. They're not even filmed well. Solomon can't seem to employ anything more imaginative than a medium shot in a generic blanket of light. The director provided little more guidance for the cast as each person flails in the tone of their performance while attempting to deliver dialogue composed solely of bad cliches. How else do you explain what Jeremy Irons is doing? He looks like Bela Lugosi doing a drunken imitation of Richard Nixon!! He's so out-of-control, even ED WOOD would have asked him to take it down a notch!!! Worse, his part and Birch's Empress are mostly rip-offs of Senator Palpatine and Queen Amidala from "The Phantom Menace", not exactly the "Star Wars" film from which I'd have chosen to steal, hehehehe.........The only convincing, nuanced performance in the whole "movie" comes from Bruce Payne, but after working on such 'outstanding' and truly 'great' and 'wonderful' films like "Warlock III" and "Highlander: Endgame", he should know how to deal with a steaming pile of crap when it's thrown at him.

I really feel for director Peter Jackson, currently filming the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy. When he began, the thought of making three great fantasy pictures seemed impossible when there hasn't even been ONE made to that point. It's too bad NOTHING has changed.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Hummmmm what happened???
Review: Courtney Solomon, who is apparently an avid D&D player himself, makes an awful directorial debut. Personally I cannot even comprehend how a true fan could make such a hash of a promising film idea. With book after book of excellent resource material to borrow from Solomon has instead written a story which has absolutely zero originality, creativity or appeal quite frankly. To summarise, good guys must recover an *artifact* so the bad guys can't use it to take over the world with their nasty scheme. If the plot is to be beaten for sheer tripeness it's only by the dialogue. This movie really does contain some of the worst dialogue I have ever heard in a movie. It's not even cliched, it's just bad. For example when the evil Damodar catches goofy thief Marlon Wayans in the act of stealing a precious map he says "Just like a thief ...always taking things that don't belong to you." Well DUH!!!!!

The cast itself isn't that bad. We all know that Jeremy Irons is a highly capable and talented actor, though he has nothing to work with here. Justin Whalin makes an able rogue and I believe he has the qualities to play a good lead role in a credible movie. Marlon Wayans serves to lighten the film and succeeds for the most part although this does create a slight problem. The film seems confused as to whether it wants to be a lighthearted adventure or serious fantasy film. For this reason the audience reaction is often not what it is supposed to be. One minute they expect us to laugh at the rather immature slapstick comedy and the next they want us to feel sad because a main character is killed. Just doesn't work. The serious moments in the film just provoked a laughing reaction from the theatre audience when I saw it.

I have read many other reviews for the film and am totally bemused by the few people who have applauded the special effect. Especially when you consider that this movie has been made 4 years after Starship Troopers and even 2 years on from Phantom Menace yet the effects take a huge leap backwards. Obviously the budget was limited because the CGI is comparable to that in movies made for television rather than the big screen.

I am trying not to be TOO negative because I myself am a D&D fan and the movie was not a complete waste. If you are not a D&D player and watch expecting nothing you may enjoy this film, however I truly believe anyone who does have involvement with the hobby will be horribly horribly disappointed.

Oh and if you see it check out the very strange ending. What an odd way to end a film. It's the final proof that the director just doesn't have a clue.


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