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Plan 9 from Outer Space

Plan 9 from Outer Space

List Price: $9.98
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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Oh, the Humanity¿
Review: Bad films, or "Z-Grade" movies, are often disappointingly mediocre--there is often enough technical competence present to leave us with only a gory plot, rotten acting, and terrible writing; this only serves to raise (lower?) the viewing experience from cathartic laughter to disappointing banality. See Yuzna's "The Dentist," L. Jackson's "Christmas Evil," Trenchard-Smith's "Leprechaun 4: In Space." Actually, don't.
But Plan 9 from Outer Space takes one's breath away. Vampire aliens try to invade our planet. Bela Lugosi plays an old man who dies and comes back from the dead. Unfortunately, Lugosi himself died and didn't come back. Wood's wife's chiropractor, who looks like Lugosi not at all, replaced him. To hide the fact that he was not, in fact, Bela Lugosi, he covered most of his face with a cape. And glared a lot. Criswell, who predicted we would all be gone by 1991, delivers the introduction, in which we learn this is a true story, "based on actual reports." Tor Johnson, who seems to be having a bad day, plays the "heavy." And I mean heavy. Believe it or not, John Breckinridge actually turns in a good performance as the aliens' leader (for which he deserves some sort of award); alas, it's lost amid a swarm of incompetence.
I won't spoil the many enjoyable gaffes in this film, which are probably best enjoyed by film buffs. A couple of choice bits, however:
• Although a heavy saucer-generated wind has blown over everyone on a patio, cigarette smoke of the heroine resolutely drifts upwards;
• The round flying saucer has a square-shaped interior.
• Certain scenes start in the morning, change into night, and immediately jump back into morning.
• Tor Johnson does not seem to have memorized his lines.
Wood's masterwork works on many levels, none of which Wood was aware of at the time. The interplay between time and space, between the general "consistency" and coherence which we expect in a film but are denied here, serve to create an absurdist dream which is both as comic and tragic as anything Beckett ever wrote. The nonsensical, farcical narrative hints at how we all, without success, try to make sense out of our lives. The patchwork structure of scenes show the interplay between everyone's life story, shot on different quality stock yet all connected. Finally, of course, the film acts as a brilliant satire of any alien movie ever made. I'll take Plan 9's scrambling, shambling scrappiness over Independence Day's cold, mechanized, greedy little blockbuster claws any day.
Plan 9 from Outer Space is a dream-film in the same category as something by Lynch: "Lost Highway" with a sense of fun, a sprawling "La Jetee," "City of Lost Children" grown up, and it's mined from the same vein of filmic ore as DeCillo's "Living in Oblivion" and Fellini's "8 and 1/2." Wood has earned his place alongside Welles, von Stroheim, and Dreyer as geniuses ahead of their time. Denied the right to their art and the public and critical support they deserved, they must wait in oblivion until the curtain of time is thrown back and we can witness their greatness... as such.
With Tim Burton's luminous biopic putting the final sheen on Wood's reputation as the most tragically brilliant anti-auteur ever to hit Hollywood, it seems assured that, although no longer with us, the memory of Edward D. Wood will live on. (My friends and I still quote Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi, fighting with a rubber octopus, to Wood, who made the mistake of asking for another take: "...you! This water's COLD!"
All that is left to do is to pull up some popcorn, grab a good friend and/or loved one, and a chair. And laugh.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: hilarious
Review: I haven't laughed so hard in a while. Great for when you in a giddy mood. So many opportunities to add you own comments (your own Mystery Science Theater.) Don't miss it! Great flying saucers!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: If only all movies were this bad
Review: If you're like me, you like to talk to the screen while a movie is playing. I tried out for MST3K but didn't get it (politics, it's all politics).
This flik is a screen talker's dream. Who else but Ed Wood could think up something so bad and get funding from a church!!

It is so bad that I love to watch it. Aliens creating zombies to conquer the earth with Bela Legosi thrown in, at least until he dies mid-way through the making.
I watch it often, sharpening my rapier wit on the dialogue and marveling that anyone could NOt like this movie.

Buy it for the classic horror(ible) flick that it is.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: "Future events such as these will affect you in the future"
Review: How wonderfully awful is this film?

For starters the title of this review is a quote from the film.

Plan 9 began in 1956 when Ed Wood (the alcoholic, angora sweater-wearing transvestite director--,convinced Bela Lugosi to shoot some scenes with him outside a home in the San Fernando Valley, and to mimic visiting his dead wife at a cemetery. He had been an avid fan of the aging former horror star and previously convinced him to appear in two previous films. Bela was a narrator in Glen or Glenda and a low rent mad scientist in "Bride of the Monster". This time, Ed was going to bring back Bela to films as we all wanted to see him... as a vampire!!!!

Ed and Bela shot the footage in two days. It was silent. Shortly thereafter, Lugosi died.

Now most people would not continue to raise funds for a film starring Bela Lugosi, when the star had passed away after filming only a couple of scenes and no dialogue--- but then most people aren't Ed Wood. He scraped enough money together over the next couple of years to begin filming his epic masterpiece.

Ed let a chiropractor, who invested some money in the film, double, for his departed star. The much younger and much taller chiropractor would simply hide his face in a black cape, and slick back his hair and no one would be the wiser.

Criswell (A columnist psychic who has 1950's tv show) was convinced by Ed to be the film's on camera narrator.

I suppose not many people were asking Vampira - a popular TV horror movie host to be in a movie, so she agreed. He asked Swedish wrestler Tor Johnson to be in yet another one of his films. Tor, who spoke very little English, must have said yes.

A name cast!

Now add Bunny Breckinridge as the slightly effeminate pompous alien Eros, and Joana Lee (who became a successful writer for television) as his female alien side-kick, Gregory Walcott and Mona McKinnon would play the couple who live near the cardboard cemetery. Duke Moore, Paul Marco , Dudly Manlove, Conrad Brooks and others were hired to round out the stellar cast. Some wisely knew to ask for cash at the end of each day of work. They got paid.

There are a couple of truly effective shots in the film like one which has Vampira dn Tor Johnson moving through a fog enshrouded set past a creepy branch of a tree. Was it just an accident that Ed Wood got something right in this film?

Although this film was officially declared as the Worst Film of All Time and Golden Turkey by the book writing Medved brothers many years ago...there are dozens of films that are many movies that give it a run for that title. Worse enjoyable movies would include: Mesa of Lost Women (Ron Ormond's film which contains a flashback within a flashback emanating from a character who could not have flash backed to the scene in the first place because he wasn't there! Ron Ormond incidentally allowed Ed Wood to use the headache inducing semi' flamenco guitar soundtrack he created for Mesa in several Ed Wood films !!!); or Robot Monster(Phil Tucker's part 3D film which features an alien--a Man with panty hose on his face wearing a Gorilla Suit with a Deep Sea Diving Helmet over his head-- who is trying to eliminate the last few remaining earthlings with his calcinator death ray --a bubble machine probably picked up cheap from a Lawrence Welk Show garage sale-- from his hide out in Griffith Park's Bronson Cave); or Rat Pfink a Boo Boo(Ray Dennis Steckler's film who's title was created by a mistake which no one had the money to fix is one of the prolific bad filmmaker's most existential works--a movie Godard wished his name was on--perhaps--).

Ed Wood wrote and directed just two more conventional films after Plan 9: The Plan 9 sequel called, Night of the Ghouls which wasn't publicly seen until the 1980's (Ed couldn't pay the lab bill and then the film was thought to be lost).He then wrote and directed an exploitation film about a group of sleazy called The Sinister Urge (released in 1960).

Then Wood became a frustrated alcoholic, bitter and disillusioned about his lack of success. He wrote or worked as an assistant director on several soft-core sexploitation films.The most famous and widely available of these is Orgy of the Dead(which also features Criswell prominently. The film consists of women in various monster and ghoul costumes stripping for Criswell in a bad cemetery set. Ed divorced, lost his house in the Valley and moved into a run-down section of Hollywood (Yucca St (between Hollywood and Franklin). For about twenty years he paid his rent and liquor bills (mostly) by writing lots of pornographic books and making soft-core sexploitation films. Sometimes he played drooling older voyeur/dirty old men characters. By the early 1970's he was direction hard core porno loops for Swedish Erotica and others. Shortly before his death his ex-wife tried to help Ed who was ill and a terrible alcoholic. He was barely aware there was a cult following for his films when he died in the mid-70's. It was shortly after his death he was re-discovered by cult film buffs.

Several DVD versions of the film exist. The best one is put out by IMAGE. It's got a fairly decent print of the film and includes Saucers Over the Hollywood the feature length 111 minute video documentary about the making of the film that's a must have for
all Ed Wood fans and includes visiting the tiny studio where much of the film was shot in 1958 in about 1986 with some of the original cast members. ...

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Almost lives down to its reputation.
Review: As bad as it is, Ed Wood's magnum opus has stretches of mere mediocrity. A conversation in the Pentagon between a U.S. general and his colonel even demonstrates some degree of cinematic competency in the shot/counter shot editing of the dialogue exchange. The problem is that the two actors have nothing to say that isn't redundant or superfluous to the story. In other words, Wood constantly buys time by throwing in all sorts of filler material, atrociously written narration and dialogue, and repeated information (voice-over narration announces an action, we see the action, the voice-over narration tells us we've see the action). Indeed, it's hard to explain the devotion of a director such as Tim Burton to a director who is so stage-bound, so theatrical, so content to shoot an unedited scene with 5 talking heads. The fun begins whenever Wood attempts a cut--a perfunctory film device that in Woods' hands is an event commensurate to excuting a risky diving maneuver from the high platform. The sight relays never quite match, the timing is always slightly off, the lighting and grain of the second shot is inconsistent with the second.

For the film student, these more subtle foibles are potentially instructive--a manual of what to avoid when making a film. For the average viewer, they can be tedious and boring. The more casual viewer is apt to be more entertained by the improbable set designs, the amateur acting which is frequently justaposed with an overly slick narrator or a Lawrence Olivier-sounding alien, the contrast between the 17-inch waist of Vampira and the 27" neck of Tor Johnson, the confusing gaps in a narrative so full of static and redundant material and, last but not least, the audacity or arrogance that allowed Wood to assume the untimely death of Bela Lugosi could be readily compensated for by having a substitute actor walk cluelessly through the film with his face hidden behind a cape.

The film is mercifully short (though it may not seem so). And one thing Wood does get right is the sound. Whereas many of today's most competently directed films contain numerous spoken lines that are mumbled, poorly miked and unintelligible, Wood seems to take extra pains to insure we hear each and every word of his original script. In this single instance, unfortunately, Woods' reknowned incompetence does not rise to the occasion.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: saw it in film class
Review: My film history teacher showed us this movie. No, he is not insane. He simply wanted to show us a bad film along with a lot of the good ones. And this is bad. But I would not spare my time complaining about that for this film is the definitive "bad movie". I just wanted to say that Lugosi is not in this movie so don't buy it expecting to see him. He has a couple of clips (well, actually you only see his eyes) but my teacher told us that he died two days into filming so they got another guy, supposably director Ed Woods' doctor, to fill the role. Also, he told us that throughout Ed's life he stood by the film never admitting that it truly was a bad effort.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: A mid-level good/bad flick
Review: Aliens come to earth, apparently needing better drapes for their uniforms. Celebrated/vilified as the worst movie ever made, it doesn't deserve that title (not if you've seen Red Zone Cuba, anyway) even if it does have oodles of fabulously wooden acting, as well as featuring director Wood's wife's chiropractor as the most unconvincing Bela Lugosi you ever saw.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: ZZZZZZ.......ZZZZZ....ZZZZ......
Review: The best word to describe this movie is incompetent. It's not bad, but badly made. There is a big difference. In the end, I was more bored than anything else. The movie was simply not interesting. Yes there are a lot of stupid mistakes, but every movie has those if one looks hard enough. "Plan 9.." has more than most, but it is not the worst film I've ever seen.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Retarded and unintentionaly funny. Great to watch with buds.
Review: Your going to LOVE this movie. It's cheap, bad-acted, stupid,
and there are so many goofs your going to be entertained the whole movie through. It's strange how there can be 3 nights and 2 days packed in every five minute scene. The aliens have an
extremely powerful and intelligant made device called an "Electro-Squigly"!?!?! OOOOOOOOOOO, blow my mind why don't ya.
I hope the most common science fair project in America doesn't make waste of me. Oh, and those TV antennas really made me fear for my life. It's amazing that the aliens look unmistakibly(SRY bout the spelling) like humans AND they speak perfect english.
HHHHHMMMMMMMMMM. Oh no! Humans are more powerful and intillectual and evil than us poor little.......um..humans?
The hub cap on a string could clearly be seen and couldn't be MISTAKEN for a U.F.O.
When people clearly walk through a stage door onto a cement floor not completely covered with green cloth and cardboard tombstones you know you're in for a good time. At the "Hollywood"
scene the people are supposed to be surprised, instead the point out there car window with a bored look on there face and show know signs of any surprise. Bottom Line: Great fun

P.S. If you liked "Plan 9 From outer Space" I prefer "Reefer Madness", another masterpiece.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Hubcaps Over Hollywood
Review: Contrary to popular opinion, PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE is NOT the worst film ever made--there are aplenty worse, including Ed Wood's own GLEN OR GLENDA. But it is ineptly, incompetently made, and as such is often unintentionally hilarious. The story, such as it is, concerns aliens who travel by hubcaps from outer space and who are so annoyed by earth's failure to RSVP that they attack via "Plan 9." This involves reanimating the recently dead and sending them out to terrorize people who live close to graveyards. In the meantime, mainly to annoy the military, they hover their hubcaps over such strategic cities as Washington and Hollywood; when this gets old, they decide to kidnap a few earth people and talk them to death.

The script is Ed Woods at his Ed Woodsiest ("future events such as these will affect you in the future.") The cast takes itself very seriously, and every one works very hard to perform as ineptly as possible. Among the notables: Paula Trent, whose voice reminds me of a jackass in heat; Tor Johnson, who is so wide he can't get out of his own grave (although presumably they got him in without any problem); and Bela Lugosi, who seems very vague about what's going on--but hey, he was already dead when filming began, so you can't blame him for it. The art direction and special effects are particularly inspired. After all, not every one would think of putting a shower curtain in an aircraft cockpit!

Now, how much you like PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE will depend on how much you enjoy its unintentional hilarity. Like a fine wine, it is best when shared with friends so every one can point out the countless flaws. Fans of bad movies will have a field day with it, and as a midnight party movie it is hard to beat. But show it with caution: unprepared viewers may react badly. They may even go comatose!


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