Planet of the Apes

Rating:
Summary: Atrocious Hollywood Sci-Fi, Deus Ex Machina, Bad Movie
Review:

This movie was supposed to be sci-fi, right? I can't list the number of plot holes and ridiculous logic leaps, combined with the very, very bad innacurracies. On top of all that, it's a pretty weak story. How can producers sign off on this basuda?

One thing among many that really irked me was the fact that the humans were perfectly normal and intelligent, but they couldn't fight the apes. What the - ? I can understand if the humans were afflicted, like in Sirling's version, but in this case they're just, like, lazy or something.

Also, how could the ancient crashed spacecraft still operate and fire its engines? High tech equipment is in demand of non-stop maintenance, to say nothing of the chemical changes that would rot all working components of an engine, and the changes the fuel would undergo. If this movie had tried to portray itself as less serious and give an air of camp and fun, I could let it go. But this movie was trying to be serious, and all I could see were the non-stop plot holes. And how could the general be so dumb as to say "We can't fight that?" All he has to do is send his remaining forces around the sides of the ship. Ugh.

I also didn't like the way the movie picked on the original. The quote "Get your hands off me you damn dirty human," could suffice to nod to the original. But they took it too far. Any Charlton Heston fan knows that he's been trying to shake his Planet of the Apes memory for years, and he'd jump at a chance to pick on himself and the movie. But it was distracting and insulting to a good movie.

The thing that makes me mad is that this could have been a great movie. The actors, FX, and artistic direction were OUTSTANDING. But the screenplay should have been used as a wee-wee pad for someone's pet. In any case, I'm sure there are some people out there that will appreciate this, but the only reason I sat through this was because I believed Burton would redeem himself and turn it into a good movie. At the end I asked for a refund from the ticket office and they gave me one. I wasn't the only one who left the theater very, very disappointed. You could feel the disbelief and hear people's comments, most of which were along the lines of "What the hell just happened?" Or, "That stunk."

The only reason I give it two stars is for Tim Roth and Helen Bonham-Carter, and the FX and art direction. Besides that it should get zero.

-- JJ Timmins

Rating:
Summary: Huge disappointment
Review: This move was a huge let down for me. I am a planet of the Apes fan. I have read the book, and I love the first two original movies. I had very high hopes for this movie, but when I saw it I was sadly disappointed.

First of all, the male apes look incredible, and the ape movement is great, no dispute about that, but that is about all that is good about this movie. Question, why do the female apes look like humans? They hardly look like apes at all? Next is the space pilot, I forget his name, that's how memorable this movie was. Anyway, when he first comes to the Planet of the apes he comes crashing down into a blaze of glory right into a swamp. (Spoiler coming) Later in the movie the chimp from his time comes to the Planet of the apes. This is a chimp he originally went after in the first place. The less evolved chimp manages to gently land the spaceship around all the other apes. Wow. And earlier the pilot who crashed into a swamp was saying how these chimps can't fly and never give a mans job to a chimp or something along those lines. Now he can go home in the chimps ship. He goes back to Earth and of course the same thing happens again. He crashes into the ground in Washington in a blaze of glory. It's like he doesn't even know how to land this damn thing, but a little chimp can? He's really going to which he hadn't smashed that ship up.

Now here's my biggest complaint. In planet of the apes, both the book and previous movies are very powerful because of how they convey the feeling of total helplessness and solitude for the main character. In the book, Ulysse Merou, the main character, is surrounded by Apes who speak intelligently. They don't speak English though, of course Duh, it's another planet. He must learn their language to prove he is intelligent. (on a side note I can see why this part would not be used in movies). The humans on the other hand are as dumb as horses. Total savages that he cannot communicate with at all. He even has a physical attraction to one and feels guilty because to him she is like an animal. It is a very eerie book. The original movie while still not as good as the book manages to convey this as well. Humans are dumb savages that offer no help what so ever. Tim Burton has managed to blow all this away in this movie. Humans are intelligent and all they need is "a hero to deliver them from their Ape hell" Is this a Hollywood movie or what??? I know he is not following the original storyline, which is fine, the original movie didn't follow the storyline either, but common, I think Humans not being able to talk is the biggest point of the story.

The characters are also not memorable at all. They are plan and boring. Maybe some of the apes had a bit of interest, but overall most of the characters are boring. I could go on, but I think I've said enough.

Anyway, my advice is, if you want a good planet of the apes story watch the original movie, or better yet, read the book, you won't be sorry.

Rating:
Summary: Tim Burton..take your stinkin hands off the original classic
Review: you damm dirty director! I'm sure this is what Piere Boulle the author of the book and Arthur P Jacobs the director of the original Planet of The Apes would be saying to Tim Burton about this remake (I don't care what they say this is a remake).

Firstly the ape makeup effects. Thade and the gorillas are very good but every other ape just looks plain stupid. Most of them look like deformed muppets.

Secondly there are SO many things throughout the movie that just do not make sense! The ending for one, but a prime example is the following: Thade is speaking to his dying father (played by Charlton Heston) about the humans power of technology and invention. However remember earlier in the movie when the humans are escaping through the ape city they run past a group of apes listening to music from a boom box. A BOOM BOX is that not technology!!!!

Thirdly I feel no sympathy for any of the humans. Sure it is wrong for the apes to treat the humans the way that they do but the lead humans have been constantly running from and fighting against the apes I would assume for all their life. Now all of a sudden this mystery human appears and they all place their trust and lives in his hands who they think will save them. Also Mark Walberg (or however you spell his surname) acts like someone who is not phased by the world and situation he finds himself in. If I were in that situation I would be scared out of my mind.

This may seem petty but I am a big fan of the original series and am annoyed at this remake. Personally do not like any of Tim Burtons movies - This movie was made by the same guy who brought us Edward Scissorhands PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

Watch the original, it is FAR superior!!!

Rating:
Summary: Rent this movie if you must - buy something else
Review: I am glad this DVD set was a present. It is not cheap either. This is a horrendous movie. The friend who gave it knew I like Helena Bonham Carter. Frankly I was curious how she would end up in a monkey suit. It's quite amusing, she is an attractive ape and she looks like she had hair electrolysis is the areas where it mattered, for apes, I guess. She is also sulky and pampered. I never thought I could distinguish a British ape from an American ape.

The only similarity between this movie and the original planet of the apes is the title. Charlton Heston's cameo appearance on this film does not make it any more related to the original...so okay this is not the original movie. Both movies are preposterous, but why did we like the original and to this day watch their reruns on cable television - because the original had a plot! This movie, while loaded with special effects is disjointed with so many side-stories and sub-plots. It's protracted and watching this movie is tantamount to having the flu and you could not get rid of the symptoms fast enough. While the screenwriters were on to it, they added the proverbial equivalent of PETA in this case of course it has been reversed to AETP (Apes for the Ethical Treatment of People).

As for technicality, this DVD is excellent. It is clear and crisp, too bad there are better movies that do not have this advantage. I suppose if you like Mark Wahlberg or if you like animal genres (bees, ant, anacondas, spiders, etc...) you can keep this DVD to complete your collection. The DVD set also includes the making of the movie. Interestingly the actors had to learn how to walk like apes! Why! Did we not learn from grade school that in the theory of evolution, the apes began to master the world when they learned to walk upright? Mark Wahlberg not only plays a lost pilot in this movie, he looks desperately lost and wants to get out. Perhaps he was thinking that with this movie he may end up like that other actor who played Luke Skywalker, what was his name?

Rating:
Summary: Not the Original.
Review: This is a very bad movie it had no script and had nothing to do with the original movie at all, isn't that what remakes are all about? I feel bad for Mark Wahlberg because he is a talented and he is not getting the roles he deserves. This movie should have won the razzie for worst script. Released in 2001 it made 68 million dollars in its first week! It made 181 million dollars total. The DVD is plain and not worth it. Buy the original instead.

Rating:
Summary: The Original is still King
Review: I've seen all five of the original movies, plus this one...which makes six apes movies in total, and I still love the Original one the best.

Mark Wahlberg plays a pilot that has crash landed on an alien planet inhabited by talking apes. Most of the film stays true to the original, but in the end it fails.

Despite it's low quality special effects, the reason the first film was so popular was because it had heart. This new version just combined lots of money and special effects, but had little heart, so it failed.

With a few memorable moments including a cameo by Charleton Heston, and a surprise ending (Different from the original), the film just comes across as a decent popcorn movie, nothing else. If you want some ape action then get the original.

Rating:
Summary: Better than the original
Review: I may be bias because I am a Tim Burton fan or maybe it is because I am spoiled by today's technology. After watching this movie, I liked it so well that I was curious about the original. I borrowed the DVD collection from one of my friends and forced myself to watch the first two. My eyes and ears were ready to bleed after watching them. The acting, special effects, music and plot were horrible. With Burton's remake, I am really glad that it was only loosely based on its predecessor. Apes 2001 offers great acting by Roth, Carter, Duncan, and Wahlberg. The music provided by Elfman is outstanding and the ever familiar gothic feel of Burton's film can be felt throughout. I really feel that this movie has an underlying message of racism. Apes rule the planet and feel that human's are dumb and are incapable of being civilized. Because of this, most are taken as pets or used as slaves. Much like America's history where African American's were treated the same. All in all a highly enjoyable movie. May not be suitable for small children.

Rating:
Summary: Disappointing
Review: First off, i'd like to say that i did mostly enjoy this movie, in a very shallow, uninvolved kind of way. The special effects and make-up etc. were very well done, and the story-line development and acting were fairly tolerable. What really destroyed my enjoyment of this film was the ridiculous inclusion of that silly blond bimbo as the human slave girl. In every scene she looked like a mentally [handicapped]six-year-old, unable to even close her mouth voluntarily. (I wonder if she ever caught a fly?) At first i thought it was mildly hysterical, but as the movie went on it just became an irritating distraction... i could almost hear the director saying, "Come on, open your lips a little more, pout, be sexy, think of a porn star." True, when done effectively, this "innocent yet provocative" mien can work very well, but in this movie the attempt was so obvious and strained i almost felt insulted. And the utterly meaningless kiss at the end was enough to make both me and my husband look at each other, groan and slide down laughing in our seats. Tim Burton could have made this an extraordinary film; unfortunately, he seems to have felt pressured to add "popular sex appeal" to a film which needed none, and the result is so weirdly disjointed and cliched i can't help but give it three stars overall.

Rating:
Summary: Can't live up to the original, but still a pretty good flick
Review: I was highly anticipating the release of this movie, and when it finally came out and I saw it, I walked out of the theatre part impressed, a little disappointed, and a bit confused.

First of all, there's a lot of impressive material in this movie. To start off, the ape makeup is teriffic. While the makeup in the orignal was only average, watching this version I was completely satisfied. Another thing that was great which is related to the ape makeup was how the actors trained for months before making the movie to learn how to move like apes. All of the movements in the movie look very realistic. So, all in all, the apes look fantastic.

Another noteworthy aspect is the special effects and the music. The special effects are better than you see in most of today's films (mid-2002) and the music (by Danny Elfman, who also did the music for Spider Man and Batman) is fantastic. It's hard to describe how good it is; you have to hear it for yourself. The last thing in this movie that impressed me was the ending. (Not the very end) It was filled with tons of action in an all-out battle with apes vs. humans.

Now the things that I wasn't impressed with. First of all, although the movie includes a lot of well-known actors, (Mark Wahlberg, Tim Roth, Charelton Heston, and Michael Clarke Duncan to name a few) most of the acting is not that good. Mark Wahlberg is incredibly flat and after a while you get tired of listining to him. Also, Estella Warren still lacks acting abilities. She is alright in this film, but for looks only. The only actors that deserve recognintion in this movie are Tim Roth and Paul Giamatti.

Another bad thing about this movie is the ending. It was a bit too confusing for my tastes. I think even the screenwriters didn't even know what they were writing when they wrote the ending for this movie.

The DVD is great, boasting tons of featurettes, a commentary with Tim Burton and Danny Elfman, deleted/extended scenes, good picture and sound quality, and more that should keep you busy for a couple of nights.

All in all, this is a pretty good film which could've been oustanding if not for some of the annoyances that plagued the film. Although it can't hold a candle to the original, it's a good popcorn movie for when you have 2 hours with nothing to do.

2001; 124 minutes; Rated PG-13 for sustained sequences of action/adventure violence, mild language, and some sensuality.

Rating:
Summary: This was a very bad movie
Review: Today all movie studios need is a couple above average looking young people, some cheesy special-effects and they have a huge blockbuster. Who the hell needs acting and a story right? WRONG!
Look at the classic film Planet of the Apes and you will see a very good film questioning our society. Tim Burton just dosent get it. The '68 classic was a political film. It was not just a brainless sci-fi flick. It challenged the human race's way of living in violence and fear of others different then them. This is just some make-shift attempt at a summer blockbuster.