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One Million Years B.C.

One Million Years B.C.

List Price: $9.98
Your Price: $9.98
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The Greatest Movie Ever Made
Review: This is undoubtedly the greatest movie ever made by humans. Or by apes. Or by insects. No matter who made it. Anyway, it's about Raquel Welch. In a fur bikini. Oh, and there are some dinosaurs, and they fight, and then they go back to Raquel Welch. Did I mention she was wearing a fur bikini? Anyway, there are more dinosaurs, and then some ugly hairy guys fight, and then a volcano blows up. And then they go back to Raquel Welch, who is wearing, can you believe it? A fur bikini! Who knew! No stupid dialogue, no overly complex plot. Dinosaurs, yes; but the dinosaurs do not wear fur bikinis, which is a good thing. The hairy ugly guys wear furry loincloths. However, Raquel Welch does wear a fur bikini, did I say that already? No matter. I'll say it again. Fur Bikini. Fur Bikini. FUR BIKINI. RAQUEL WELCH IN A FUR BIKINI. And she has eyeshadow too, amazing what those cave people had. And there are some dinosaurs. Fighting. Sometimes. But mostly it's, well, Raquel Welch, who is apparelled in fuzzy undies and not much else. HA! There, you thought I was going to say "wearing a fur bikini" again, but I didn't! HA! See! This is why this is the greatest movie ever made.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Pathetic attempt!!!!!!
Review: Wanna know why I chose this title for my review? This is why!
1. You don't undersand them!!!!!!!!!!
2. Cavemen never lived with dinosaurs.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: OH NO -- it's the CUT version again
Review: Well, I was really looking forward to buying this, but now I'll skip it. Here's proof that Fox doesn't care about the true movie fans who begged for the uncut version (previously released in the US on laserdisc). This version is missing NINE minutes. The British DVD is UNCUT so there's no excuse. What a disappoinment.

My review is not for the movie, which I love, but for this DVD.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: This is why Welch was never taken seriously....
Review: With due respect to Ms. Welch, it was taking movie roles like this which caused film makers to typecast her in these rather substanceless pictures where the looks and not the story was the name of the movie. This was a Hammer Production, and to have Ray do the effects work just did not work. Ray was a master of creature effects and his work at Colombia Pictures turned out so much better then this one time deal with Hammer films which always did their movies quickly and on very shoe string budgets. The budget for this movie was so low that they actually have a cheap lizard appear as the first prehistoric monster before Ray's Dinosaur effects take over. I think more people watched this movie because Raquel was in it and Ray's effects work took a back seat. That's too bad, because he desereved to work on better productions then this piece of celliod trash.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Raquel rocks!
Review: With very little 'dialogue' this film is still interesting, and a little scary. The adventure of a dark-haired caveman who stumbles upon a tribe of blonde-headed cavemen and cavewomen may not sound too interesting but Raquel is hot in her fur bikini!

This is not hokey.

The plot was copied mercilessly by the film "Caveman" which plays for laughs rather than this more creepy film.


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