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Mosquito

Mosquito

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Rating: 4 stars
Summary: One of those Giant Bug B-Movies that is so bad it is fun
Review: Sooner or later somebody with a camera was bound to notice that in the genre of giant insect movies there was only one bad B-movie about giant mosquitoes, the awful 1993 "Skeeter." Consequently, this shortcoming was rectified by this 1995 campy low-budget film from director Gary Jones (director of the 2000 film "Spiders"). "Mosquito" begins with what, in the best light, would be an homage to "The Blob" and "War of the Worlds" (or both). An alien spacecraft crashes into a swamp (located in Detroit, Michigan apparently, since that is where they made the film), the hatch opens, an alien arm slithers out and then the pilot dies. Then mosquitoes show up to start sucking on that alien blood and the next thing you know we have got giant skeeters on the attack (the sort where actors have to hold on to giant bugs and to the dance of death). The result, at least from my warped perspective, is a film that is so bad its unintentional humor makes it fun to watch (a refrigerator can save YOUR life), which is why the rating hear reflects enjoyment, not quality, boys and girls.

The mosquitoes try to feast on the normal collection of doomed souls who are a bit slow to figure out that these are monster mosquitoes and not funny looking birds and you will not care a whit who survives and who does not. Gunnar Hansen (who also gets a script credit) is Earl the Bank robber, Ron Asheton is Hendricks the Park Ranger, Rachel Loiselle is Megan the new Park Ranger, Tim Lovelace is her boyfriend Ray, and Steve Dixon is Parks, who chases meteors for the U.S. Air Force. However, this film is redeemed by one great moment where the character played by Gunnar Hansen, the original Leatherface in Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and declares "I haven't handled one of these things in 20 years....feels good." Of course, it had been two decades since the release of that classic horror flick. I do not know how "MST3K" missed this one, or how I missed that they did not miss it. But if you like to ridicule bad movies in the privacy of your own home, "Mosquito" is a great choice. Why, one liners should be popping into your head as you read this and you have not even seen the film yet...

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: One of those Giant Bug B-Movies that is so bad it is fun
Review: Sooner or later somebody with a camera was bound to notice that in the genre of giant insect movies there was only one bad B-movie about giant mosquitoes, the awful 1993 "Skeeter." Consequently, this shortcoming was rectified by this 1995 campy low-budget film from director Gary Jones (director of the 2000 film "Spiders"). "Mosquito" begins with what, in the best light, would be an homage to "The Blob" and "War of the Worlds" (or both). An alien spacecraft crashes into a swamp (located in Detroit, Michigan apparently, since that is where they made the film), the hatch opens, an alien arm slithers out and then the pilot dies. Then mosquitoes show up to start sucking on that alien blood and the next thing you know we have got giant skeeters on the attack (the sort where actors have to hold on to giant bugs and to the dance of death). The result, at least from my warped perspective, is a film that is so bad its unintentional humor makes it fun to watch (a refrigerator can save YOUR life), which is why the rating hear reflects enjoyment, not quality, boys and girls.

The mosquitoes try to feast on the normal collection of doomed souls who are a bit slow to figure out that these are monster mosquitoes and not funny looking birds and you will not care a whit who survives and who does not. Gunnar Hansen (who also gets a script credit) is Earl the Bank robber, Ron Asheton is Hendricks the Park Ranger, Rachel Loiselle is Megan the new Park Ranger, Tim Lovelace is her boyfriend Ray, and Steve Dixon is Parks, who chases meteors for the U.S. Air Force. However, this film is redeemed by one great moment where the character played by Gunnar Hansen, the original Leatherface in Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and declares "I haven't handled one of these things in 20 years....feels good." Of course, it had been two decades since the release of that classic horror flick. I do not know how "MST3K" missed this one, or how I missed that they did not miss it. But if you like to ridicule bad movies in the privacy of your own home, "Mosquito" is a great choice. Why, one liners should be popping into your head as you read this and you have not even seen the film yet...

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: One of those Giant Bug B-Movies that is so bad it is fun
Review: Sooner or later somebody with a camera was bound to notice that in the genre of giant insect movies there was only one bad B-movie about giant mosquitoes, the awful 1993 "Skeeter." Consequently, this shortcoming was rectified by this 1995 campy low-budget film from director Gary Jones (director of the 2000 film "Spiders"). "Mosquito" begins with what, in the best light, would be an homage to "The Blob" and "War of the Worlds" (or both). An alien spacecraft crashes into a swamp (located in Detroit, Michigan apparently, since that is where they made the film), the hatch opens, an alien arm slithers out and then the pilot dies. Then mosquitoes show up to start sucking on that alien blood and the next thing you know we have got giant skeeters on the attack (the sort where actors have to hold on to giant bugs and to the dance of death). The result, at least from my warped perspective, is a film that is so bad its unintentional humor makes it fun to watch (a refrigerator can save YOUR life), which is why the rating hear reflects enjoyment, not quality, boys and girls.

The mosquitoes try to feast on the normal collection of doomed souls who are a bit slow to figure out that these are monster mosquitoes and not funny looking birds and you will not care a whit who survives and who does not. Gunnar Hansen (who also gets a script credit) is Earl the Bank robber, Ron Asheton is Hendricks the Park Ranger, Rachel Loiselle is Megan the new Park Ranger, Tim Lovelace is her boyfriend Ray, and Steve Dixon is Parks, who chases meteors for the U.S. Air Force. However, this film is redeemed by one great moment where the character played by Gunnar Hansen, the original Leatherface in Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and declares "I haven't handled one of these things in 20 years....feels good." Of course, it had been two decades since the release of that classic horror flick. I do not know how "MST3K" missed this one, or how I missed that they did not miss it. But if you like to ridicule bad movies in the privacy of your own home, "Mosquito" is a great choice. Why, one liners should be popping into your head as you read this and you have not even seen the film yet...

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A Great B Flick!
Review: This movie is not to be confused with Skeeter. Skeeter I have only seen bits and pieces of, but I guarantee that it has nothing on this fine piece of cinema. Mosquito made me wonder who the person was that felt sorry enough to give these fools the change out of his/her back pocket to make this high budget film. I tell you, I about peed in my pants over this one. First of all the special affect were about the worst I have seen.....ever, not counting Simbad stop motion. I suspect that they had a total of two mosquito props being that you only ever saw two rubber mosquitoes on at any one time. In addition, there is a car chase scene where the mosquitoes looked like they were draw on the film with crayon. Granted the special effect were better than Matchmaker, their not giving high fives behind the scenes. Second, the plot (as if I need to bring up that word) was absent minded to say the least. I don't think you want the suprise factor in this movie so I'm going to spoil it for you. The beginning starts off with a wrecked space ship accompanied by an alien dangling his arm out of the space craft. The mosquitoes drink his blood and mutate. Interested yet? So you have a recreation camping ground in distress, lots of people die, and they run. With me so far? They come up with the idea that there is s breeding ground somewhere. "Ding" or so you think. But no, the movie winds up them cornered in the house with a bunch of eggs and they burn it down. What the hell happened to the alien ship. You upset I spoiled it for you now? Well, my apologies. Last, the acting and dialog is beyond supreme. I've got some spare change, I could easily fund a better group of actors than those master thespians. It seemed like many of the actors were doing their impression of a dear in headlights. The thing that made me laugh most was the dialog. They would say things like "Take a nap pal." followed by a knock out punch, and "This isn't science fiction. This is science fact." You can't beat that folks. Not even the Hercules series has those hip hop lyrics. So are you sold yet? This is my absolute no.1 recommendation. I'm sure after you see this you'll be banging on the almighty afro's doorstep cryin for more. Afro out.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: A Real Eye Popper
Review: This movie was the best cheesy movie I have ever seen. It has bad special effects, I mean there was no acting and the dialogue was repetitive. Such as that girl who kept saying I want to bring it back to the lab to examine it. The funniest part was when the mosquito got a guy going to the bathroom. It was hilarious and the part where the mosquito got stuck on the door and the kept hitting it and it looked like a pile of jam. I recommend this movie as a cheesy movie and a good laugh.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Great.
Review: This movie was the best cheesy movie I have ever seen. It has bad special effects, I mean there was no acting and the dialogue was repetitive. Such as that girl who kept saying I want to bring it back to the lab to examine it. The funniest part was when the mosquito got a guy going to the bathroom. It was hilarious and the part where the mosquito got stuck on the door and the kept hitting it and it looked like a pile of jam. I recommend this movie as a cheesy movie and a good laugh.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Tapping the Human Keg!
Review: When taking time to taste the wonders and woes of a nice campground experience, nothing is worse than those run-ins with Mosquitos. While trying to have fun, those little monsters assail you and yours, taking little sips whenever they feel like it simply because they're trying to do what they can to stay alive. Blah. When put on tap a few dozen times, itching and wondering why you took a trip to the middle of nowhere, you find yourself wondering how things could get any worse. To answer, imagine a night spent watching the sky and seeing falling stars. Now try having one of those lovely comets turn out to be that UFO experience you've always wondered about, the driver of that vehicle get killed when that UFO turns out to be out-of-control, and then some mosquitos find the body and feed. Yeah, things get really big and really ugly from there.

When dealing with this film, one shouldn't make a mistake and think that they're dealing with something that isn't going to be cheesy. Big Bug movies always turn out that way, always having some strange sideplot to go along with the main flow of monstrosity, and the doom they offer is always campy. So, instead of going in expecting anything, you should think of your atypical bad acting, death, some gore effects to take the place of a plot, and a nice laughtrack to make the day go along better. And, if that sounds good, then Mosquito would be a tale for you.

Personally, the "who is going to live, who is going to die" tales always make me happy and I've always loved Mosquito. Within its brand of sordid humor, nobody is truly safe from the touch and the feel of the threat, with most of the people met along the way succumbing to the alluring beasts and their thirst. Its comedy, only nobody gets to stand up in the end and tell jokes (unless you count Gunnar Hansen - The original Leatherface). And that's what I like about it, truth be told. Every movie and social stereotype mastered by the mosquito.


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