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Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Manos, the Hands of Fate

Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Manos, the Hands of Fate

List Price: $19.95
Your Price: $17.96
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Not even the bots can save us!
Review: I had the grave, terrible misfortune of experiencing "Manos" long ago, without any MST3k support. It was a near-traumatizing experience.

Unfortunately, as much as I love the show, it can't turn a movie like this into something entertaining. This isn't "Plan 9" bad, or "Gamera" bad... the first five minutes (it seems like an hour and a half) is just ROLLING SCENERY. Crow even remarks that they fade from one moving shot into the exact same shot... and it's probably true. Talk about budget-saving.

The only saving grace is the lingerie fight ("the only reason this movie was made"), and maybe Torgo. Calling that guy a "saving grace" is a long stretch, though. Mike's cameo as Torgo in the end sketch is one of the funniest bits of the "new" MST3k, though... it had me in stitches.

To recap: Ninety minutes of worthless, pointless, mindless nothing... sometimes even Mystery Science Theater can't make a truly bad movie worth watching.

There's also a "Poopie" bloopers reel on this DVD, and that alone nets the disc an extra star. It's worth buying if you're an MST fanatic like myself, but don't introduce anyone new into the cult by showing them this rubbish.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Thank you El Paso
Review: MANOS deserves its reputation as a terrible film, and this episode of MST3K is one of the funniest & most notorious. A fan of the series will enjoy this tape (or DVD -- the DVD is hardly more expensive, and it comes with the "Poopie" program as an extra).

For the sake of argument I'm putting forward my opinion that MANOS is not the worst film to appear on MST3K. It was clearly made by amateurs with inferior equipment, and the acting is horrible, and the dialogue is terrible, but the story itself is satisfactory in a rudimentary sort of way. ANGELS REVENGE (available on VHS) is far more tiresome than MANOS, being an incompetent imitation of bland television programs. MANOS is at least quirky enough to hold a viewer's attention, and the MST crew sound aghast & amazed but not bored by the film.

Now let's see Rhino release Episode 423, BRIDE OF THE MONSTER, which features Part One of the 2-part short film "Hired." Part Two kicks off MANOS. BRIDE and MANOS belong in any bad-movie lover's library, and they'd make a nice pair for Rhino to market.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Manos, the fans of hate
Review: MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE is a bad movie. It's a very bad movie. Some awful movies have a lot of bad things going on that one can laugh at. MANOS merely has long stretches of scenery and entire scenes of nothing but characters lurching awkwardly at each other. Some bad movies have dialog so cringe-worthy, that you can literally hurt yourself laughing at it. MANOS has long periods of total silence where the director seems to have accidentally included footage of the cameraman warming up the camera. Even by the horrifically low standards of bad films, MANOS stinks.

Joel and the bots, sentenced to watch excruciating films in a spaceship orbiting Earth, really have their work cut out for them. While they ordinarily can take a bad film and effortlessly produce something entertaining to view, there was precious little for them to work with here. MANOS does not have much to offer in the way of amusing material. I honestly can't imagine trying to sit through this film without the distraction of those poor guys trapped in the corner. The film hurts, and it goes on for far too long.

This one is probably better for fans, or people who are already used to watching truly awful films. The movie they watch is so boring and terrible that it could very well be off-putting to newcomers to the series. I'd recommend MITCHELL or POD PEOPLE instead. But if you're prepared to sit through something that can make one physically ill, you'll fall in love with this DVD.

The episode also contains the short feature film, HIRED, PART II. This is one of those terribly cheesy 50's educational films, though who exactly it is supposed to educate is not altogether clear. If you ever wanted to see one guy and two robots make fun of car salesmen's techniques, then you've come to the right place.

(This DVD version does not come with an uncut version of the film, but it does come with 30 minutes of MST3k bloopers as an extra. The bloopers are entertaining, but like most out-take videos, they become a little boring and repetitive after a while. Still, it's nice to have them included on here as a bonus.)

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The sign pointed this way!!!
Review: Ick. In the history of MST, perhaps there is no film as bad as Manos, it is an awful film, in every sense of the words. Bad acting bad script, and a poor excuse for a plot. However the 'bots and joel handle the film well. One of the bonuses of the DVD is the Poopie outtakes reel which features the bloopers of the MST crew. These are just as funny as the film itself. A must buy for MSTies with DVD players.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Almost too bad
Review: The main problem with this episode is that I doubt we will ever
want to watch it again. The other MST episodes we've bought,
Poopie, Pod People, and Cave Dwellers we've watched several times
and each time we hear and see stuff that we missed on previous
viewings and laugh hysterically. Yes, Joel and the Robots did the best they could with it, but I really don't think I could sit down and watch Torgo, the dumbest family on earth,and the Master and his wives no matter how funny the guys are.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Want the lowdown on all 7 MST3k DVDs? Read This
Review: All the MST3K DVDs are worthwhile for the episodes they contain. One rant, however... I do wish Rhino would introduce some level of consistency to the disc production. I get the feeling all of the MST DVDs were made in someone's dorm room.
Here is a tech DVD breakdown:

[Manos]: Season 4 Episode 24 (Joel) 125 mins including "Hired: part 2" short:
· Disc Label: Purple Satellite of Love graphic
· Menu System: 3 choices - Play Movie, Scene Index, Poopie (annoying Manos music loop)
· Special Features: Poopie - hilarious MST3K outtakes

[Eegah]: Season 5 Episode 6 (Joel) 97 mins:
· Disc Label: Eegah color movie photo graphic
· Menu System: Professional but half done - Play Movie/Chapter Selection, Play Uncut Version, Special Features (Music loop is ¾ of Joel's theme)
· Special Features: List of titles on VHS & DVD - There are the makings of forward and back buttons here but they don't work. All 6 pages just transition through each other slowly. Rhino website address (why this is listed as a feature I don't know.) Uncut version.

[Mitchell]: Season 5 Episode 12 (Joel's Final Episode/Mike) 97 mins:
· Disc Label: Cheap silver silhouette
· Menu System: Cheap flying saucer graphic buttons with semi-annoying music loop from Mitchell - Play Movie, Play Trailer, Scene Index
· Special Features: Original theatrical trailer for Mitchell.

[The Brain That Wouldn't Die]: Season 5 Episode 13 (Mike) 97 mins:
· Disc Label: Double sided disc. (Why? The same features fit on one side with Eegah)
· Menu System: Professional but half done - Play Movie/Chapter Selection, Play Uncut Version, Special Features (music loop is from the movie and moderately annoying)
· Special Features: List of titles on VHS & DVD - There are the makings of forward and back buttons here but they don't work. All 6 pages just transition through each other slowly. Rhino website address. Uncut version on second side.

[Wild World of Batwoman]: Season 5 Episode 15 (Mike) 72 mins + "Cheating" short 20 min:
· Disc Label: Cheap blue with flying saucers (Joel's face errantly graces the box. Mike is the lead in this episode)
· Menu System: Professional - Play Movie/Chapter Selection, Play Uncut Version, Special Features (Music loop Is ¾ of Joel's theme... which is strange as this is Mike's episode)
· Special Features: Lists 3 other MST DVD titles. Click on titles to see a clip from each. Very Nice! Rhino Website. Uncut Version.

[The Beginning of The End] Season 5 Episode 17 (Mike) 72 mins:
· Disc Label: Cheap blue with flying saucers
· Menu System: Professional - Play Movie/Chapter Selection, Play Uncut Version, Special Features (Music loop Is ¾ of Joel's theme - again, this is Mike's episode)
· Special Features: Lists 3 other MST DVD titles. Click on titles to see a clip from each. Very Nice! Rhino Website. Uncut Version.

[Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie] 1996 - 72 mins:
· Disc Label: Cheap silver silhouette
· Menu System: None - chapter selection only
Notes: This movie is really hard to find and considered a collector's item. The only difference between the movie and a TV episode are a precious few amped up special effects, makeup and they hired a real actor to play in one of the skits (which I feel is a tragic mistake). It is not worth the (...) that it is going for in Amazon's Used section unless you're a diehard.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: New to MST3K on DVD? Start Here!
Review: This is the best MST3K disc to start with. Not only do you get to see hilarious running commentary to the worlds worst movie "Manos: The Hands of Fate", you get almost an hour of poopie to boot! This is a MSTie Must Have!

Rant:
I do wish Rhino would introduce some level of consistency to the disc production. I get the feeling all 6 of the MST DVDs were made in someone's dorm room.
Here is a tech DVD breakdown:

[Manos]: Season 4 Episode 24 (Joel) 125 mins including "Hired: part 2" short:
· Disc Label: Purple Satellite of Love graphic
· Menu System: 3 choices - Play Movie, Scene Index, Poopie (annoying Manos music loop)
· Special Features: Poopie - hilarious MST3K outtakes

[Eegah]: Season 5 Episode 6 (Joel) 97 mins:
· Disc Label: Eegah color movie photo graphic
· Menu System: Professional but half done - Play Movie/Chapter Selection, Play Uncut Version, Special Features (Music loop is ¾ of Joel's theme)
· Special Features: List of titles on VHS & DVD - There are the makings of forward and back buttons here but they don't work. All 6 pages just transition through each other slowly. Rhino website address (why this is listed as a feature I don't know.) Uncut version.

[Mitchell]: Season 5 Episode 12 (Joel's Final Episode/Mike) 97 mins:
· Disc Label: Cheap silver silhouette
· Menu System: Cheap flying saucer graphic buttons with semi-annoying music loop from Mitchell - Play Movie, Play Trailer, Scene Index
· Special Features: Original theatrical trailer for Mitchell.

[The Brain That Wouldn't Die]: Season 5 Episode 13 (Mike) 97 mins:
· Disc Label: Double sided disc. (Why? The same features fit on one side with Eegah)
· Menu System: Professional but half done - Play Movie/Chapter Selection, Play Uncut Version, Special Features (music loop is from the movie and moderately annoying)
· Special Features: List of titles on VHS & DVD - There are the makings of forward and back buttons here but they don't work. All 6 pages just transition through each other slowly. Rhino website address. Uncut version on second side.

[Wild World of Batwoman]: Season 5 Episode 15 (Mike) 72 mins + "Cheating" short 20 min:
· Disc Label: Cheap blue with flying saucers (Joel's face errantly graces the box. Mike is the lead in this episode)
· Menu System: Professional - Play Movie/Chapter Selection, Play Uncut Version, Special Features (Music loop Is ¾ of Joel's theme... which is strange as this is Mike's episode)
· Special Features: Lists 3 other MST DVD titles. Click on titles to see a clip from each. Very Nice! Rhino Website. Uncut Version.

[The Beginning of The End] Season 5 Episode 17 (Mike) 72 mins:
· Disc Label: Cheap blue with flying saucers
· Menu System: Professional - Play Movie/Chapter Selection, Play Uncut Version, Special Features (Music loop Is ¾ of Joel's theme - again, this is Mike's episode)
· Special Features: Lists 3 other MST DVD titles. Click on titles to see a clip from each. Very Nice! Rhino Website. Uncut Version.

[Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie] 1996 - 72 mins:
· Disc Label: Cheap silver silhouette
· Menu System: None - chapter selection only
Notes: This movie is really hard to find and considered a collector's item. The only difference between the movie and a TV episode are a precious few amped up special effects, makeup and they hired a real actor to play in one of the skits (which I feel is a tragic mistake). It is not worth the $60 that it is going for in Amazon's Used section unless you're a diehard.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Making the Unwatchable Somehow Watchable
Review: The current wisdom among bad movie buffs is that Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is the worst movie ever made. Believe me, it's not. And if you don't believe me, then just watch this one. Try it without the MST gang and see if you think "Plan 9" is worse.

"Manos," according to film critic Michael Weldon, was written, produced, directed by its 'star' Hal B. Warren, a fertilizer salesman from El Paso, Texas. The plot, as such, concerns Warren and his family, who become lost while on vacation. They stop at a strange house to ask directions and are met by the weird servant Torgo, who takes them prisoner and helps to make the next 90 minutes only seem like 8 hours.

Even the MST gang had trouble with this one, as most of the good lines and ripostes are in the first half. One can actually feel this movie sucking the life out of the crew. At the end even Dr. Forrester believes he may have went too far. But one redeeming thing came out of this -- the addition of Torgo the pizza delivery man (played by Mike Nelson) to the list of characters that inhabit Deep 13.

The only other caveat I can add is that this movie is for those seasoned MSTies only. If you are new to the MST experience, I would recommend "The Beginning of the End," or "I Accuse My Parents" to get you up to speed before tackling this one.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The Master Lives
Review: This truely is the best worst movie I have ever seen. But what makes it even more great for me is that I know "The Master" (Tom Neyman) personally. He's a great friend of mine and we work together. I can't tell you how many work hours we've spent discussing this movie and all that went on behind the scenes. The litle girl in the movie is actually his daughter. The car in the opening scene is his too as well as the dog(doberman). The really sad thing is they all thought they were going to be stars. No words can describe how horrible this movie is which is what makes it so great. If anyone has any ideas on how we can get Tom on tour I'd love to hear it.
Watch the movie, you won't believe it.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Not for the weak, but a real treasure
Review: MST3K was far and away the best written show on all of television. They defined for us all "bad movies" and gave us so much more. "Manos, The Hands of Fate" is a relentlessly umpleasant "movie" made by a fertalizer salesman from Texas. This guy had no idea what he was doing, but I'd give everything I own to time-travel back and join that cast! Any fan of this wonderful, now extinct TV show should consider this episode a 'must own' for the collection. One final thought and comment about Rhino Home Video, the company releasing the sparse numbers of MST3K episodes...what the heck is holding you guys up?? At the very least, every thing that's on tape should be on DVD right away. But moreover, why not get on with releasing all the MST episodes? As a longtime fan of the show, I can tell you, you WILL sell 30,000 or more of everything you release. The registered fan base is up near 100,000 I believe. Let's see, 30,000 times (price)= boatload of money for lousy movies anyway, made funny by the magical MST3k crew! Get on it!


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