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America's Sweethearts

America's Sweethearts

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Stinks Like Bad Limburger Cheese
Review: Nothing is so unfunny as when Hollywood tries to poke fun at itself and the pathetic state of Hollywood marriages. That producer Billy Crystal chose to cast himself gives a clue to how truly bad the film is.

When the perfect star couple Gwen and Eddie, played by Catherine Zeta-Jones and John Cuisak, publically break up over on-screen infidelities, Crystal's role as studio publicist is to bring the two stars together for the film's press preview. Crystal turns to Gwen's plain-Jane sister, Kiki (Julia Roberts) to make sure the tempermental, self-absorbed, shallow highness appears for the out of town junket. Heartbroken Cuisak, on the verge of a holistic nervous breakdown, is the secret crush of Kiki, but he is too distracted by his own neurotic behavior to see that Kiki, despite her 60 lbs. weight loss, is the perfect woman for him. The audience is expected to see the humor of the mismatched pair of Eddie and Kiki, but never for a moment do we believe that Julia Roberts in a fat suit is still not Julia Roberts, beautiful, svelt, and flashing the Oscar-winning Colgate smile of smiles in bad lighting and little makeup.

Adding to the muddle is Stanley Tucci, a studio executive who would rather have his leading man commit on-camera suicide if it would sell the picture, and in the most obnoxious role of a career, Hank Azaria, as a lisping Spaniard that recalls a bad Antonio Bandaras impersonation.

What is almost comedic is to realize in hindsight that these characters easily can pass for the real marrige-go-bust of Tom, Nicole, and Penelope, and It-girl Julia breaking up with her then Latino hunk, Ben as soon as the Best Oscar was in hand.

Were it not for how unfunny the film's premise makes of the Hollywood celebrity machine, studio marketing system, and publicity mongers whose role is to put spin on unsympathetic personalities like Gwen, Eddie, Kiki, and their entourage, the film might have an iota of laughter, but the laughs are cheap. This is not comedy. It's shtick. The film is unworthy of its stars, and moreso, Billy Crystal, who I respected as a performer and producer. The film scrapes the bottom of an very, very empty barrel.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Pleasant Plot to Watch -- Good Acting
Review: This was look at behind the scenes Hollywood about prominent "public marriage" gone bad between two prominent starts. Acting was good by all four major stars. Also, the new boyfriend's role is great! Accent is so funny!

Some of the scenes are just hilarious, e.g. boyfriend picking fight in restaurant is great!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: How Could This Have Gone Wrong?
Review: I figured that this film was a "can't miss" given the assembled talent. With Billy Crystal, Julia Roberts, John Cusack, and Stanley Tucci, I expected a pleasant romantic comedy. What I saw was a jumbled mess of a movie. To start with, every successful romantic comedy has a relationship at its core that you believe in. If not, you've already lost the audience. Never once did I believe that Julia's and John's characters possessed a spark. This is one of those movies that the director is asking you to trust that all the feelings are legitimate while they throw nothing at you that builds on this. Yes, I love John Cusack and Julie Roberts. It is a great match that is wasted in this film. Given the very satisfactory body of their work, I'll let this film pass, but jeez what a waste. Worse yet is the casting of Hank Azaria, who is slowly but surely suffering from Tracey Ullman disease which deludes an actor into thinking they can perform as any broad characture to comic effect. Hey Hank, how about just acting. Given his upcoming series on TV that has him portraying multiple characters, I suppose the lesson has yet to be learned. Even the conclusion was hackneyed. There are so few good romantic comedies being made these days I was hoping that this would be one of them. Oh well, the search continues.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: A Letdown
Review: I thought that this movie would be great. I was incredibly wrong. I rented this movie as soon as it came out thinking that since it had a great compilation of stars, it was sure to be good. Surprisingly enough, I found it to be a waste of my 4 bucks. It had no storyline whatsoever...it was merely a tedious film about superstars who thought they were better than everyone else. I can't even express how utterly dissapointed and bored I was while watching this. All it had was a few "great" characters who lacked depth. When the film had a chance to take on a bit of sobriety--all it did was add in even more senseless jokes. Every character in this movie dissapointed me...I think that the only reason they chose to do this film was for publicity. Hey, look a bunch of big stars have come together to make a Billy Crystal film...maybe they thought it would be good. Maybe they thought that it would make them bigger stars and maybe they just needed the money...but can each of the film's stars honestly say that they are proud of poor film. I wonder?! Don't rent this film...unless you feel so compelled to waste 2 hours of time in your lives.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Not very good.
Review: A great cast and a lousy script = bad movie. A painfully unfunny, dull and lifeless movie has each actor trying his/her best to liven up a deadly script without success. You may chuckle once or twice, but that's it. About 20 minutes in, I knew this would be a stinker. I was right.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Take 6 actors who can be brilliant....
Review: and put them in a hastily done film which, in trying to be a satire, cannot succeed because the humor is too weak and the plot too familiar. If America's Sweethearts was trying for romantic comedy, not only was the comedy missing, but there was zero screen chemistry between Roberts/Cusack, Zeta-Jones/Cusack, Zeta-Jones/Azaria....just no real connection.

Zeta-Jones lights up the screen with her beauty, but her gift for light touches (The Mask of Zorro) in her comedy romances is missing here. She is believable as a Hollywood diva, because she is just such a pain. Roberts has been "dulled down" to fit her character, Kiki, the Cinderella of the story. She's got no guts with Zeta-Jones, and is completely unbelievable as the object of Cusack's affections. Cusack is just all right - his addiction to his various medications and his waffling on whether or not he loves or hates Zeta-Jones are overplayed. Crystal tries too hard throughout the film. I believe he had a strong hand in writing and producing it, so you know why he is trying so hard.

Christopher Walken is too over the top as a Howard Hughes type director, but Hank Azaria, also way, way over the top as a Spanish bit player with a lisping accent, gives us the same great touch with comedy we've seen in many of his films and in his characterization of the dog-walker on "Mad About You". Azaria is terrific, but there is far too little of him on the screen, and one of the outtakes, with him in a bathtub, should have been retained in the editing of the film.

Alan Arkin does a cameo as Cusack's psychiatrist. It is worth seeing the film for, showing the cutting edge that Billy Crystal has displayed for outrageous comedy in prior films.

That's about it. There's a plot, but why bother? Had I seen it in theaters, I would have left before the end. Should you decide to try it on DVD, please rent, don't buy!!!

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: America's Sweethearts just isn't so sweet..
Review: I'll be frank with you. I went to this movie expecting a lot more. America's Sweethearts is a movie that rolls around like it's building up a foundation to a real film, like something that is shoved into an editing process but is never completed, but by the time you think that just maybe, this movie will go somewhere, the 100 minutes are over and you're leaving the room in disbelief.
The cast has undeniable talent, and SHOULD have you blown away by their ability. Unfortunately, Billy Crystal, who was one of the screenwriters on the project, wrote his part way too big and tries to steal the show. This wouldn't be so bad, if, the supporting cast didn't act the same way. Julia Roberts has a much smaller part than the trailers let you belive, as well as Catherine Zeta-Jones. Take one of these stars, make it their movie, this whole movie would be a lot more enjoyable. Sadly, it becomes too obvious just how badly America's Sweethearts wants to be the modern Singin' In the Rain.
Not that America's Sweethearts isn't totallly awful- If you go into the theater with an open mind and resist to shudder at the cast's melodramatic acting and sick jokes, you could enjoy it.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Waste of time
Review: I can't believe that Billy Crystal after making "When Harry met Sally" and "Analyze This" can mix up his name with a production like this. Go for a walk instead.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: What a Let Down
Review: I am a huge Julia Roberts fan and I can't help but wonder why on earth she took this part. I was so excited to see this and never got around to getting to the theatre so I rented it. I was really fired up and then while watching it, I kept waiting for the magical one liners that she usually has in her movies or something brilliant to occur. It never happened. Personally, I thought the story line was riduculous and didn't have any real depth. She (Roberts) was interviewed about wearing the "fat suit" and she was talking about how awful it was. I thought "hey, this is going to be cool because she is branching out into new territory". Wrong. She is only seen in the fat suit for a short period of time during the movie, to the point where you probably wouldn't have even noticed it if the media hadn't made such a big deal about it. I was very disappointed. I collect Julia Roberts movies and I don't think I will waste the time to buy it. I can't see this being one that I would watch again. I guess if you are a fan then you would want to see it at least once but she has a lot of better movies worth buying.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: America's Worst Movie????
Review: UGH! This movie was so horrible. Even with a it's fantastic cast. The sotry line was horrible, it was painfully long!
Why Kuscak, Jones and Roberts took these roles is a mystery!


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